Helen of Troy
Home Up Victorian Age

 

 

THE YEAR OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY

CHAPTER TWENTY:

HELEN OF TROY

Written by Rick Archer 

 

 
 
 

Rick Archer's Note:  

Prior to the start of my dance career, I was a complete mess around women.  Then came the Summer of 1978.  Negotiating seven tricky situations in a row with aplomb, I suddenly realized I was not afraid of women anymore.  Something really strange was going on.  First I stumbled into an incredible career, now the Rejection Phobia was gone.  I was so much stronger around women I could scarcely believe it.  This is why I came to believe my summer adventures had a Divine purpose. 

The more I thought about it, I got the impression these various women had not appeared at random, but rather by design.  I viewed each woman as a Messenger of sorts, someone sent to teach me a lesson, then move on. 

My intuition was spot on.  Hindsight reveals how the Summer of 1978 functioned as an intensive training program to prepare me for the ultimate challenge which lie ahead.  In the coming months my Fate would revolve around three remarkable women.  Each in her own way would change the course of my life and career.  These women were beautiful, they wanted me for themselves, and they strongly disliked each other.  I called them the Temptation Triangle.

Before I begin the story of how I was chosen to determine which of these three was the fairest one of all, I would like the Reader to note how closely my tale paralleled the mythological Beauty Contest that started the Trojan War.  Obsessed with Greek Mythology ever since I was a child, I found it incredibly ironic to see the rivalry that started the Trojan War being reenacted at my very own dance studio. 

 
 

 

THE GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORD
 
 

As I said, the Trojan War was caused by a quarrel between three exceptionally beautiful Greek Goddesses.  Hera was Queen of the Gods.  Athena was the wisest of the Gods.  Aphrodite was considered the most beautiful.  Or was she?  Hera and Athena were stunning beauties in their own right. 

Eris was the grouchy, temperamental sister of Ares, God of War.  No one liked Eris.  She was always complaining about something.  When she wasn't complaining, she was stirring up trouble.  Like her angry brother Ares, Eris had a temper and long history of arguing.  Over time she became known as the Goddess of Discord. 

In Greek Mythology, Thetis was a sea nymph.  She had no power, but she did possess uncanny beauty.  Poseidon wanted her and so did Zeus.  Zeus had the inside track until he discovered a prophecy that the future son of Thetis was destined to become far more famous than his father.  Realizing it was a bad idea to sire a son greater than himself, Zeus decided to let the nymph marry her sweetheart to circumvent the dangerous prophecy.  And so he gave his blessing for Thetis to marry Peleus, a mere mortal. 

Considering Thetis would one day give birth to Achilles, a mighty warrior who became the legendary hero of the Trojan War, Zeus had made the right move to disengage. 

Zeus turned the wedding of Thetis and Peleus into the social event of the season on Mount Olympus.  All the best Gods and Goddesses were invited to the banquet.  Except Eris.  No one wanted an unhappy shrew like Eris around.  As one might imagine, Eris was irate over the snub.  She decided to crash the party and cause problems.  Looking to provoke a fight, Eris threw a golden apple onto the banquet table.  Inscribed on the apple was the word Kallisti, "To the Fairest".  Eris announced to the hushed crowd that the Golden Apple was a prize for the most beautiful Goddess of all. 

A panic ensued as dozens of beautiful goddesses dived for the apple.  Ultimately only the three most powerful remained.  With their hands covering the Golden Apple, Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite quarreled ferociously over who was the fairest.  Unable to settle the matter amongst themselves, the women turned to Zeus for final judgment. 

Zeus was far too clever to fall into that trap, so he sidestepped the dispute with a suggestion.  He told the women to take the decision to Paris, Prince of Troy.  Zeus smiled to himself.  He knew Paris was too simple-minded to see the danger of picking one over the over two.   I could relate.  I would soon have a similar problem.

 
 

PICKING THE WINNER

 
 

The three Goddesses found the lad as he quietly tended to sheep on a hillside near Troy, then told him to choose.  When Paris took longer than expected, the women realized there was little to separate them.  Well aware that Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they had no idea who Paris was going to pick.

Eager to win, each Goddess offered Paris a special bribe.  Hera promised power and glory.  Athena promised wealth and wisdom.  Aphrodite promised Paris the hand of Helen, the world's most beautiful woman (besides themselves, of course). 

How could Paris resist Helen?  However there was a problem.  Helen was married to Menelaus, the most powerful man in Greece.  Menelaus was certain to object.   

In addition, there was another problem.  Hera and Athena were sore losers.  They vowed to get even any way they could. 

 
 

HELEN OF TROY
 
 

Helen was a stunning woman.  Considered the most beautiful woman in the world, Helen was indeed the prize of all prizes.  As befitting her status, Helen was married to the most powerful man in Greece.  Her husband was Menelaus, ruler of the warlike kingdom known as Sparta.  

In her youth, Helen had been the object of fierce courtship conducted by the leading men of Greece.  Oddly enough, Menelaus did not attend.  Considering this pursuit beneath him, instead he sent his brother Agamemnon to represent him.  Forced to choose between them all, Helen settled for Menelaus due to his status and wealth. 

Although born a Prince, Paris was banished from Troy.  Moments before his birth, his mother Hecuba dreamed she gave birth to a flaming torch.  This dream was interpreted by a seer as foretelling the downfall of Troy.  For fear the child would lead to ruin, a shepherd was given the task of killing the child.  However, the man could not do it.  He ended up raising the child in secret.  As an adult, Paris returned to Troy and was reunited with his father King Priam.  Unfortunately memories of the prophecy acted as a wedge between the two men. 

Convinced by Aphrodite that Helen was ripe for the taking, Paris appeared in Sparta under the guise of diplomatic mission.  No one knows for sure exactly how Paris managed to secure her hand.  Some say Paris abducted Helen.  If so, this was not difficult to accomplish since Menelaus was absent from Sparta due to a funeral. 

Others say Paris seduced Helen.  Helen was said to be lonely.  Maybe Helen should have met Menelaus first before agreeing to marry him.   After ten years of marriage, this was clearly not a good match.  Helen's daughter Hermione did not like her and her husband was gone for great lengths at a time fighting wars.  Unhappy living in Sparta, perhaps Helen willingly eloped with Paris.

Another theory is that Aphrodite put a Cosmic Spell on Helen's mind and made her fall in love with Paris.  Surely Helen was not so stupid that she failed to see the dangerous repercussions.  Therefore she must have lost her mind.  Familiar with the phrase 'Love is Blind', the Greeks blamed Helen's senseless decision on interfering Gods. 

After Aphrodite helped Paris steal Helen, all hell broke loose.  With Hera and Athena goading the Greeks to punish Troy, this became a cause célèbre.  Due to the giant armada of ships launched by Greeks seeking vengeance, Helen became known as 'The Face that Launched 1,000 Ships'.  Countless men would die thanks to a Beauty Contest.

 

 
 
 

THE temptation triangle
 
 
 

Rick Archer's Note:  

As we shall see,

"Rick, let's say you are right about the Epic Losing Streak as a function of Fate.  If so, what purpose did Epic Losing Streak play in the evolution of your dance career?"

The Summer of 78 was finally over.  In September I took time to reflect on the revolving door of beautiful women who had paid me a visit over the summer.  For some darn reason, things had failed to work out with every single one of them.  That was really a shame because each woman was exceptional.  Of the five, only Nancy was still around (we will get to her story shortly).  Curious, I asked myself which of the other four did I regret losing the most.  Oddly enough, it was my interest in having children that determined my answer.  Jenny and Francesca were not interested in having children due to their age.  Karen, 30, would have been a good match, but she was radioactive due to her marriage. 

That left Marilyn, a young woman of 18 who was about to begin college.  Marilyn had it all, brains, looks, confidence.  She was a future star in the making.  Although most of what I have said about Marilyn involved our awkward debate over sex, there was a serious side to her as well.  Marilyn had her eye on me from Day One.  Ordinarily Marilyn was a cut-up who loved to give me a hard time.  However I remember two times when Marilyn turned serious.  One night she mentioned her desire to have kids.  Another time she asked how much money I made teaching dance.  Fortunately, we were interrupted on both occasions, but her questions left me unsettled.  When she wasn't busy being a brat, Marilyn was ridiculously precocious.  Given her huge crush on me, in her idle moments I believe she was sizing me up as future husband material.  If so, she hit a very sensitive nerve.  It crossed my mind that Marilyn would have been the perfect woman with whom to marry and raise a family. 

For all my Mystical musings, I have a practical side too.  The arrival of Eric shook me up fiercely.  Eric made me realize I was hanging onto my job by a thread.  Just because he self-destructed was no guarantee another Eric might come along.  As a result, I had second thoughts about teaching dance for a living.  Accountants are good at math, Doctors are good at science, Lawyers are good at arguing.  Since I was at best slightly better than average as a dancer, my long-term prospects seemed dim.  Although I thoroughly enjoyed teaching dance, I feared I lacked the exceptional ability necessary to last long in this profession. 

 

In particular, what would I do if my Lucky streak ran out?  Furthermore, I already knew there was no real money in teaching dance.  I had a nest egg thanks to working two jobs, but I could not keep this up much longer.  Assuming things went well in the Fall, I wanted to quit my day job at the end of the year.  With low house payments and no dependents, I expected to make enough to get by.  But what about the future?  I am fairly certain Marilyn had a family in mind when she asked her questions.  Making $15 an hour teaching 15-20 hours a week, I was earning roughly $1,000 a month.  Could I see raising a middle-class family on $12,000 a year?  Of course not.  And what sort of father would I be working nights and weekends?  These were disturbing questions. 

So let's play the "What If" Game.  Before the Jet Set debacle put a swift end to Marilyn's daydreams, I was having a change of heart.  Rather than rush into ill-considered sex, why not offer to date Marilyn the old-fashioned way which would include meeting her parents?  If by chance we could overcome the age difference, we might very well fall in love.  I could look far and wide and never find a woman superior to Marilyn.  In that case, what would I have done if Marilyn had asked me to pursue a respectable career with a family in mind?  In that case, my dance career would have been in serious jeopardy.  In other words, if Marilyn insisted I use my education to find a better way to support a family, my direction in life MIGHT VERY WELL have changed.

Here is my point.  For some reason, every woman who crossed my path was wonderful, but not quite right for me.  Was this just my Bad Luck?  Or was Fate deliberately sending me women who were a good match in the short run, but not the long-term?  If any one of those amazing women had worked out like I hoped, my life might have taken a far different direction.  And what direction would that be?  The Wrong Direction in terms of my dance career.  Every time another woman got away, I had to keep looking.  And what was the best place to keep looking?  My dance job, of course, with 100 single women crossing my path each week.  In other words, the longer my Epic Losing Streak lasted, the longer my dance career was extended.  This is why I believe my constant misfortune was meant to be. 

Hindsight reveals how the Summer of 1978 functioned as an intensive training program to prepare me for the ultimate challenge.  I believe each woman was sent to help me prepare for my upcoming situation, then quickly depart.   If so, what were they preparing me for?  A Beauty Contest between three rivals: Patricia, Joanne, and Victoria. 

Women are competitive.  Some compete for Limelight, some for Status, some for Recognition.  Others compete for Money and the life of luxury it guarantees.  The fiercest battles are reserved for the age-old contest known as the Mating Game.  Some say finding a suitable mate is the most important choice a woman can make.  Determined to pass the best set of genes on to her children, women go to great lengths to attract a superior man as their companion.  In addition to the search for a suitable mate, many women seek male approval to validate themselves.  To get this, they must battle other women for his attention.  A superior man is the ultimate prize of the competition whether for mating purposes or status (or both).  In some ways the Mating Game/Dating Game is like an auction.  When more than one woman bids for a man, the more his value rises.  Determined to win the object of their pursuit, at some point it is all about Ego.  But what if only one woman is in pursuit?  Then his value remains at market price.  The secret is to get several women bidding at once.  Oh, and one more thing.  The same goes when the roles are reversed.  I imagine women are very skilled at enhancing their value by letting it be known they have a wide choice of suitors.

There were certain similarities between Paris and me.  We were both patsies around beautiful women.  We both started a war.  We both made a colossal mistake.  We both paid dearly for our mistake.  And we were both Archers.  But there was one major difference.  Unlike Paris, I was both arbiter and trophy at the same time.  As hard as it is to believe, I found myself placed in the role of Helen of Troy.  Whoever won me became winner of the contest.

And who will be the winner of the contest?  Don't forget, we have only met nine of the ten women.  There is still one missing.

 

 
 

 

THE YEAR OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY

Chapter TWENTY one:  Victorian age

 

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