Don't tell
anyone, but I was secretly proud of Patricia.
Nevertheless, I was certain I would pay a stiff price for
dancing in the arms of the enemy. Sure enough,
Patricia grabbed my arm and hauled me out the Disco. Whoa!!! I was astonished
at what had taken place. I could not imagine the
consequences with Victoria, but first I had to survive
Patricia's wrath. On the way home, Patricia
completely lost it. She had a meltdown and started
screaming. Patricia was driving. She was so out of control, I feared
she might have an
accident.
To my surprise,
I caught a break. Patricia decided not to blame me.
"That fucking
bitch has turned every person in the room against me!!
I don't know what the hell she said, but I am
convinced she has been talking behind my back. And now
she has the nerve to fondle you in public.
I hate that woman!"
I understood. The sharp pain
Patricia was feeling was a knife in
the back thanks to her so-called girlfriend. There
was great irony at work here. Victoria stabs
Joanne in the back. Patricia stabs Joanne
in the back. Victoria stabs Patricia in the back.
Patricia stabs Victoria in the back.
Diva Warfare was definitely not for sissies.
I could not
prove Patricia's Rumor Theory, but her analysis made sense.
Based on my experience with Joanne, it stood to reason
Victoria had pulled a similar trick on Patricia. An important memory
flashed in my mind.
Back in October six months ago, Victoria had surprised the husbands
in her private class with the
suggestion that they take their wives out dancing after class. The men had
started to grumble, but stopped when the wives crossed their
arms and gave them a coordinated 'Do this or else'
look. The husbands were startled to see their wives close
ranks so quickly.
Taken off guard by their wives' show of unity, the men had folded on the
spot. Laughing, Victoria later confided she had
organized this sneak attack behind the men's back.
When I asked how she did it, Victoria laughed again.
"The
telephone, silly. The telephone is my
secret weapon. I thought you knew that!"
Well, it was funny
back then, but it meant something different now.
It was solid evidence that Victoria used the phone to manipulate
opinion behind the scenes. Now that Joanne and Patricia
had fallen victim in consecutive months, it seemed
likely that Victoria's
telephone poison had worked this treachery. For the
millionth time I wondered if the day would come when Victoria
would do the
same to me. Considering I had zero phone skills, this would be a battle
I was sure to lose.
Meanwhile, whatever
Victoria had done to Patricia and
Joanne behind their backs, it was no laughing matter. Victoria had vanquished
both opponents with brutal efficiency. With the
Diva Triangle irretrievably shattered, Victoria assumed she stood
supreme.
However, Patricia had bloodied her badly at the end of the
evening. As Patricia continued to rant in the car, I could not imagine the repercussions.
"Goddamn
that woman! Damn her to hell! I hate that
bitch more than I have ever hated any woman. I
should have slapped her silly tonight. I wanted to
and I had every right to. I wanted to slap that
happy smile right off her
face!"
The anger in
her voice was so violent, I cringed. Trying to
calm her down, I
replied softly, "You're right,
Patricia. I don't know what is going on, but I agree Victoria must be
doing something to influence people against
you."
"You're damn
right that's what she's doing. I won't let her insult me like that. Furthermore,
I saw the way she used you tonight. Can't you see that Victoria
is setting you up for a Spring Affair of her very own? Her husband
doesn't even show up any more. Michael knows
what's coming next and doesn't want to be around to see
the train wreck."
Patricia
suddenly turned her head to stare at me. In
an accusatory voice, Patricia barked, "Is there
something going on here I don't know about? Are
you having sex with
Victoria?"
The way she said
it was so sharp and unexpected that I raised my
hands in self-defense. Patricia had caught
me so completely off guard with that question that I was too
stunned to answer.
Could Patricia read my mind? No, Victoria and I had not had sex, but I sure wanted to.
Lately Victoria's siren call had been getting to me, so I am afraid my
horrified expression betrayed my guilty conscience. I
wondered if Patricia saw
the guilt written all over my face, but I got lucky.
It was dark in the car and she was forced to keep her eyes
on the road, so I got away with it. I finally caught
my breath to
say something.
"No, Patricia, I
have not had sex with Victoria. That is the truth.
Just the fact that you would bring the subject up is very
upsetting to me."
Patricia wasn't convinced.
Patricia could tell she had hit a nerve; she just wasn't
sure what the full story was.
"All right,
what about Joanne? Someone said you've had sex
with her. Is that true?"
Oh my God, now I
was really sweating. Did someone really say that or
was Patricia on a fishing expedition?"
"Of course not,
Patricia. What got you onto this tangent? No
doubt this is some lie Victoria told to hurt you."
Thank goodness I
had the sense to invoke Victoria's name. Otherwise I
believe water-boarding would have commenced soon.
Patricia was far from convinced of my innocence, but once
she was reminded of her anger towards Victoria, I was off
the hook.
"Rick
Archer, you are probably hiding something
[damn it! Do all women have the same radar?]. However,
I will take you at your word because I don't think
you're that stupid. If you are
telling the truth like you say you are, then I suggest you tell Victoria
to get lost before it is too late. If you let that
woman get any closer, you will be sorry. I
can categorically assure you that would be
the biggest mistake of your life. Before you go
and do something stupid, I recommend
you get rid of her now."
I completely agreed with Patricia
and told her so. However, what I did not say was
easier said than done. Freeing myself from Victoria
was like fighting an octopus. Victoria had her
tentacles wrapped around my dance business so tight I
could not see a way to extricate myself. Seeing how
effectively she
had isolated Joanne and Patricia, I felt a profound dread. This
woman had a mastery of infighting that was deeply troubling.
Now that I had lost Joanne, all I
had left to fight off Victoria was Patricia. That was
not very reassuring.
I had thoroughly
enjoyed Patricia's ambush in tonight's Catfight.
However, now that the element of surprise was gone, I did
not
see her winning a prolonged battle. Victoria was willing to fight to
the finish, but not Patricia. Victoria had more to
lose plus she held most of the cards. Since Patricia did not love me,
I doubted her heart would be in it for the duration. Sad to say,
Patricia had not quite realized how hopeless it was.
She was a little slow in this regard.
That said, for now Patricia made it clear she did not want to surrender.
"I blame
Victoria for all of our problems. I am convinced that Victoria
is doing
everything she can to drive a wedge between us [no
kidding]. To begin with, I share you with
Victoria when you are at the studio and Friday nights as well.
When do we ever have time alone together? Normal couples who date are supposed to have time alone
on the weekends so they can go places and do things.
Not you. You are tethered to Pistachio every
Friday night like a prisoner. I am sick and tired of watching
that woman make an idiot of herself every Friday night
and drag you along with her. I want you to skip
going to the club next week and spend Friday night with me instead."
"Patricia, I
can't do that. This is my business you are talking
about. You are suggesting I let my personal problems
force me to abandon my business. What would that
accomplish? Victoria could do whatever she wants while my back is turned
and I won't allow that. Besides, dancing with the
students and being a host
is how I keep my business flourishing. You know that
as well as I do."
"Damn it, I want Victoria to get the
hell out of my personal life so I can see where we stand
without that woman's constant interference. After the stunt Victoria pulled
tonight, I am
never going back to that goddamn club. Furthermore,
you shouldn't go either. I demand that you to stay home with
me next Friday!"
Good grief, this
was serious. Three weeks ago, Joanne had refused to
ever return
to the Pistachio Club. Now Patricia was saying the same
thing. No Michael, no Joanne, no Patricia. Victoria would stand unopposed.
All the more reason for me to take my rightful place at
Camelot next Friday and protect my turf.
"If
you don't want to go back, Patricia, I won't
blame you one bit. But I still need to go to the
club on Friday night. We are talking
about my job! I can always come
see you afterwards. We will have
Saturday and Sunday together."
"Did
you not hear me? I demand you stay with me
next Friday!"
Patricia paused
to get her breath, then resumed her latest Tirade in a loud
voice.
"Show some guts and stand up to Victoria! If you
don't show up, that will send the bitch a
message. She will
know why you aren't there. The whole point of
freezing me out is to get to you. But if you're
not there, then her strategy backfires. Victoria
will see your first loyalty is to me, not her.
Besides, who's she going to dance with? Without
you, she can't show off."
"Patricia, I hear what you are saying and I am sorry
you are so upset, but you
aren't listening to me. I have no intention of abandoning my business with Victoria on the warpath.
Skipping Friday night would be insane. Let me make something clear. Victoria has the
power to eliminate me too if she tries hard enough.
Victoria is more popular than me. For all I know, she might just talk to Lance Stevens and
Deborah Gordon behind my back. She can tell them how
disloyal I am and Lord knows who would be in control once
the dust settles.
"Don't be stupid, Rick. All
you have to do is write a letter to your students and
explain what is going on. You occupy the moral
high ground."
"I've thought of that, but Victoria owns the mailing list
and refuses to give me a copy.
She also owns the phone numbers. I am completely at
her mercy."
Patricia stared at me in horror. "How did that
happen?"
"It
was easy. Victoria does the registration and collects
people's addresses and phone numbers."
"Why don't you have a copy?"
"I've asked for one and she keeps dodging me."
Patricia shook her head in disgust. "She really does
have you nailed down, doesn't she? Fortunately, you
own the atom bomb."
"What are you talking about?"
"All you need is one phone number. If Victoria gives you any
more shit,
just call Michael. Or better yet, knock on his
door some night. One look at his wife's face will
tell the story. Michael will straighten this out
pronto."
"I
am not going to do that, Patricia. That is not how I
operate. However, at the same time
I do not wish to give Victoria free rein to say whatever
she wishes behind my back. If I abandon the Pistachio Club for even
one night, I cannot imagine what stunt Victoria will pull. I
can't stop going dancing on Fridays just because Victoria has frozen you out.
My
suggestion is for you to defy her and show up next week.
That will blow her mind."
"That will never happen. I
said I will never go near that place again and I mean it."
Patricia was serious. If so, this could
very well be the end of our relationship. Victoria was
far more important to me
than Patricia.
If Patricia forced me to choose, it would be Victoria. However, I am pretty sure Patricia did not need
these unspoken sentiments spelled out. Patricia realized
that Victoria held the upper hand in this struggle, a fact that angered her
no end. Seeing that I wasn't responding to her
suggestion to ditch the Blonde Banshee,
Patricia worked
herself into a Brunette Banshee frenzy of her own. As
we climbed the steps to her apartment, Patricia continued to
berate me. This rant had lasted 20 minutes with no end
in sight.
"Do what you want, Rick, but you
have a lot of nerve choosing that woman over me.
As for me, I
will never set foot in that club again. And if you
want us to have a future, I want you to do the same next
Friday."
"Look, Patricia, you are angry. I get that.
However, you are also being unreasonable. This
is my business you are talking about!! I won't skip Pistachio just to
soothe your hurt feelings. I will go back next week
and you should too. If you
avoid the dance club, then you have essentially backed down
from her. Your absence makes Victoria the winner."
"Why
should I go back? The damage
is done. I don't even like those people.
Victoria has turned them all against me. I
don't want to be anywhere near them."
Déjà vu. Patricia was copying
Joanne's dialogue word for word. However, the memory
of Patricia confronting Victoria showed me that while Joanne
ran from conflict, Patricia was a fighter. Perhaps I
could use some of that fight to present a new strategy. As we entered
her apartment, I made a suggestion.
"You may be
isolated with Victoria's friends, but they only comprise a
small fraction of the overall group. The Monday people
don't know Victoria that well. The Wednesday people
don't know Victoria that well. The people I teach
on Thursday don't know Victoria very well. Victoria
does not come to the studio on Friday, but rather heads
directly to the Pistachio Club for Camelot. Why not start
over? Why not fight back by making new friends of your
own that are not
beholden to Victoria?"
When Patricia stared
daggers at me, I realized my mistake.
I had forgotten Patricia was not
very good at making friends. She had always relied on
her rare beauty to bring men to her, but that wasn't quite
the
same thing as making 'friends'. I wasn't even
sure if she had friends. I had yet to meet
one. Patricia sure as
heck didn't have a girlfriend. The only woman she
talked to was her mother.
In her most
sarcastic tone, Patricia mimicked me, "Oh,
gosh, Patricia, why don't you come to the club and make
lot of new friends!?!"
Then she sneered
at me to indicate her contempt.
"Oh, isn't that sweet? I don't
think so. That has to be the dumbest idea I have ever
heard. You keep thinking I go to that club because
I want to. Bullshit. I only go there because
it's the only way I get to see you on Friday night.
I hate that place. I have no intention of going
from person to person begging them to be my friend."
"I don't agree with you, Patricia. Victoria may have
poisoned her new group of friends against you, but I bet 90% of the
people don't know a thing about this quarrel. Sit at another table; I'll
join you. Working together, we can form our own In Crowd. Even
better, why not fight fire with fire?
The best way to keep Victoria at bay would be to assume
Joanne's role. Come take Joanne's place as my assistant on
Monday. That would be like spitting in Victoria's eye. Not only could you make friends with the
people in that group, you could send the message to Victoria
that two can play this game. I could really use a
counter-balance to Victoria's roughshod tactics."
There it was. I had just thrown down the gauntlet.
If Patricia wanted to stand up to Victoria, all she had to
do was step into Joanne's shoes on Monday Night. Victoria would
have a conniption fit if that happened. I wondered if
Patricia would accept my offer. I
didn't have long to wait. Patricia turned me down
cold.
"Listen, Rick, I work hard at the
hospital. I put in long hours and deal with a lot of
stress. I'll be damned if I am going to sacrifice
even one night a week in a stupid attempt to put Victoria in
her place. It would be much more effective if you skipped
Fridays for a while. What's a Queen without the
King? Who is Victoria going to show off with?
Besides, you are the only reason Friday is important to
her in the first place. It's you she wants.
If you skip Friday next week, Victoria will realize her
nasty gossip campaign has backfired."
"I
am sorry you feel that way, Patricia, but I won't make that
promise. However, I will agree with you about one thing.
Victoria is definitely trying to sabotage our relationship.
And judging by this quarrel, she has done a very effective job. Look,
can we drop the Riot Act for a while? I am getting sick and
tired of letting arguments over Victoria ruin our time
together. Can we please change the subject for the
time being?"
Patricia
turned on the television and retreated into a shell.
It was hopeless. I had given Patricia an obvious
way to beat Victoria at her own game. Why not use the Monday
class to develop her own clique? But Patricia was not
interested. Patricia had not thought her position
through. If she rejected dancing, in essence
she was rejecting me. This
relationship was on life support.