The ancient Greeks strongly believed in Fate.  They were convinced the Gods of Olympus played havoc with their lives.  For example, it was prophesied at birth that the great Greek warrior Achilles would die young.  This came true during the Trojan War.

Of all the tales about prophesies come true, the tragic story of Oedipus demonstrates the belief that Man cannot escape his Fate.  On the day Oedipus was born to King Laius and Queen Jocasta of Thebes, Laius was told he would be murdered one day by his son.  Wishing to thwart the prophecy, Laius left Oedipus on a distant mountainside to die.  Unbeknownst to Laius, the baby was found alive by a kindly shepherd.  When the shepherd handed the baby to King Polybus and Queen Merope of neighboring Corinth, they decided to raise him as their own son. 

Oedipus was never told he was adopted.  Nor did anyone in Corinth know of the prophecy.  When he became a young man, Oedipus visited the Oracle at Delphi.  This was where he learned of the prophecy.  "You shall kill your father and marry your mother."

Since Oedipus loved Polybus and Merope dearly, this prediction was deeply disturbing.  Why would he want to do a terrible thing like this?  Finding the idea repugnant, Oedipus was determined to defy the Will of the Gods.  Unaware of his true parentage and incorrectly believing he was fated to murder Polybus and marry Merope, Oedipus vowed never to return to Corinth.  In this way, he could protect his supposed parents from harm. 

After leaving the Oracle of Delphi, the youthful Oedipus met a carriage on the road.  Inside the carriage was Laius, his real father.  Laius had recently received omens indicating his son might still be alive.  For this reason he was headed to Delphi to consult the oracle.  Encountering Oedipus, his attendants ordered the young man off the road.  "Make way for our carriage, you ignorant peasant!" 

Angered by their rudeness, Oedipus refused to obey them.  Inside the carriage, Laius was incensed by the young man's insolence.  So he got out and began to quarrel with Oedipus over right of way.  Yes, even Ancient Greece had road rage.  When Oedipus held his ground, Laius lost his temper and ordered his attendants to beat the young man senseless.  During the fight, Laius struck Oedipus with his whip several times as the men held him down.  Breaking free, Oedipus killed all the attendants.  Then Oedipus killed the angry old man for whipping him. 

Laius was already on guard against a renewed death threat, so why did he fail to recognize the danger of provoking this powerful stranger?  How did Laius fail to notice the man was about the same age as the son he feared?  Clearly King Laius was just as Blind as Oedipus.  As for Oedipus, he had no idea that he had unwittingly murdered his real father.  And so Part One of the Prophecy was fulfilled.

Continuing his journey, Oedipus learned that the King of Thebes (Laius) had just been murdered under mysterious circumstances.  Then he learned that Thebes was being terrorized by a monster known as the Sphinx.  Apparently the city-state of Thebes was cursed because the murderer of King Laius had never been caught.  Wishing to help, Oedipus decided to head towards Thebes.  At the gates of the city, Oedipus was challenged by the Sphinx to answer a riddle.  The conditions were simple.  If Oedipus turned around, he would be allowed to live.  But to answer the Riddle incorrectly would cost him his life. 

Oedipus bravely chose to answer the Riddle.  "What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and three in the evening?"  Answering the riddle correctly (Man), the Sphinx flew away, thus allowing Oedipus to enter Thebes.  The citizens were so grateful, they gave Oedipus a reward.  In return for defeating the Sphinx, the young man was handed the throne of their dead king.  By law, Oedipus was expected to marry his widow, Queen Jocasta.  That would include sharing her bed.  And so Oedipus unwittingly fulfilled Part Two.

Upon the eventual discovery of his mistake, Oedipus cursed his helplessness to prevent this horror.  Tormented by guilt, Oedipus took the extreme action of blinding himself.  He spent the remainder of his life wandering the world in self-imposed exile as further punishment. 

Oedipus had been bound and determined to defy his Destiny, but the prophecy came true anyway due to being tricked by Blindness.  The Greeks used the story of Oedipus to demonstrate that no matter how hard an individual struggles to defy the Gods, ultimately he has no power to change his Destiny.   What will be, will be.  Que sera, sera.

DOORSTEP NIGHT REVISITED
 

The moment we finished having sex, Victoria was overwhelmed with guilt and grief.  Struck by the unexpected depth of her remorse, guess what crossed my mind?  Oedipus. 

Why?  Because Oedipus was tricked into sleeping with his mother and I felt tricked into sleeping with Victoria.  The moment I realized I had made a serious mistake, I recalled the question I asked following my Poolside Premonition.

"Do I have Free Will or don't I?  Who exactly is running this show, me or Fate?"

Haunted by a deep sense of irony, tonight I had my answer.  I had vowed to prevent this train wreck from happening and it happened anyway.  I shook my head in dismay over my failure.  I was so upset that I demanded an explanation on how this could happen against my will.  For crying out loud, I had been dead set against this!  Nor had I been tempted.  I had no sexual desire to make love to Victoria, but I did it anyway.  It would have been effortless to walk away, so how could I be so stupid?  Victoria could not seduce me, so she had tricked me into thinking she was serious about living with me. 

Given my negative feelings about Adultery, my Sacred Vow and my demonstrated ability to resist Victoria in the past, why had I allowed myself to participate in this ill-advised love making?

As I watched Victoria cry in despair, I asked myself why the memory of my Sacred Vow had been absent from my mind BEFORE we had sex only to return AFTERWARDS to taunt me.  I shook my head in anguish.  Believing someone had Blinded me from my vow, now I knew how Oedipus felt.  Tricking me was the only way this could have happened.

Bitter, I searched for a reason why my judgment had seemingly failed me.  Two things had gone wrong.  First, I let down my guard because I incorrectly believed Victoria was permanently living with me.  Second, the Warning Message about my Sacred Vow failed to appear when it mattered most.  I decided this event was Predestination.  No other explanation satisfied me.  It did not matter what I wanted.  I was not in control.

As one can gather, the lesson behind the famous myth of Oedipus is that no one can escape their Fate.  Personally, I believe I have Free Will most of the time, but not when Fate intervenes.  In situations where Man's Will is pitted against God's Will, man is helpless to prevent the inevitable. 

WHY DO I BELIEVE MY MIND WAS BLINDED?
 

My shame grew worse when I phoned Jennifer the next morning.  The first thing she asked was if I had slept with Victoria.  She exploded with anger when I told her the truth. 

"I don't understand what made you think you were obligated to sleep with Victoria.  All you had to do was keep your pants on.  So what if she was naked?  Just tell her it's too soon.  Tuck her into bed, kiss her on the cheek, and go find the couch.  Instead you totally lost your sense of judgment."

It was true.  I did lose my judgment.  But why?  More than anything else in the world, right now I needed an answer to that burning question.  Prior to Doorstep Night, I had spent an entire year successfully resisting Victoria's entreaties, so why did I fail this time?

After Jennifer hung up on me, I spent the rest of the day deep in thought.  I asked myself the same question over and over again.  Why did the memory of my Sacred Oath fail to cross my mind?  Likewise, why did my concern over Stephanie's welfare fail to cross my mind?  That is when I gasped.  How was it possible to completely forget Stephanie?  She was a major reason I was against the Affair.  Seriously, if I had remembered Stephanie and brought up the subject of where Stephanie would live, I am positive my missing sense of caution would have returned. 

Let me add one more thing.  Before I agreed to Victoria's plea to let her stay, we sat in my living room for half an hour.  During this time, Victoria alternated between crying her eyes out and explaining why she believed we could be special together if we tried.  The entire time I kept asking myself how I could get Victoria to back off without antagonizing her.  In addition to a desire to protect my studio from the wrath of a woman scorned, I wanted desperately to save my relationship with Jennifer.  As a result, I spent the entire half hour wracking my brains for a face-saving excuse that would extricate myself from this dilemma.   Try as I might, I could not think of a single solution.  So imagine my dismay when Jennifer explained that all I had to do was keep my pants on.  Guess what my reaction was?  "Why didn't I think of that?"

One moment later I had another idea.  What kept me from calling Michael that night?  If I had thought of double-checking with Michael, I am certain my missing sense of caution would have returned.  Unfortunately, neither idea occurred to me when the pressure was on.  Why was my mind working now, but not last night when I begged for some way out of this mess?   Imagine how crestfallen I felt to have two simple solutions occur to me AFTER IT WAS TOO LATE. 

I decided the easiest way to get someone to do something against their will is to trick them.  If I had thought of Stephanie on Doorstep Night, the outcome would have been different.  If I had thought of calling Michael, the outcome would have been different.  If I had kept my pants or remembered my Sacred Oath, the outcome would have been different.  Just then I thought of another option.  I could have told Victoria that we were moving too fast. 

"Victoria, I am glad that you are here, but I do not think it wise to make love just yet.  That feels hasty given the situation.  Why don't we just hold each other for a while, then try to get some sleep?  We can talk more in the morning."

In other words, there were several solutions, but none of them occurred to me when it counted.  Why not?  Why did these common sense solutions fail to come to me back when it mattered?  And what did I conclude?  I believed someone had tampered with my mind to suppress the warning signals.

There are some realistic reasons to explain my behavior.  The most obvious reason is the opportunity to make love to a beautiful woman.  Under ordinary circumstances, yes, of course.  But given my love for Jennifer, I felt no desire to do this.  Nor would my conscience allow me to participate.  You have my word on that.  So where was my conscience when I needed it?  When Victoria took her clothes off and patted the bed, I figured that since I was stuck with her living here now, why wait?  It was going to happen sooner or later, so if this is what Victoria wants, why not?  In other words, in the absence any warning signals, I was Asleep at the Wheel.

Another realistic reason for my mistake was pressure.  People do stupid things when they panic.  I agree with that, but in this case I did not have to make a snap decision.  As Jennifer pointed out, I was under no obligation to sleep with Victoria.  All I had to do was stall for time.  If I had done that, I would have caught on to Victoria's deception at 6 am when she raced to get home to Stephanie.  With a frown, I noted how she had conveniently avoided discussing her daughter during our 30 minute discussion.  And why did I fail to check her suitcase?  Had I done so, I would have discovered it was empty and been on guard.

Do you see my point?  Over the past year, every time Victoria made a move, a flood of warning messages crossed my mind.  But on Doorstep Night, not a single warning message or possible solution came to me.  In other words, I was just plain stupid all day long.  I was stupid to write the Ultimatum.  I was stupid to answer the phone at the studio.  I was stupid to agree to meet Victoria at my home.  Why not her home instead?  I was stupid not to think of obvious solutions that would have gotten me off the hook.  I was stupid not to remember my Sacred Oath when it mattered most.  Stupid stupid stupid.  Yet here's the thing.  I AM NOT STUPID.  Or should I say that "ordinarily" I am not stupid?  But I was definitely Stupid on Doorstep Night.  A man who is "ordinarily" intelligent and careful had lost his mind at the worst possible time. 

So why do I take this idea of Cosmic Blindness so seriously?  Because it raises doubt that we have complete Free Will. 

It was my Will to avoid an Affair with Victoria.  The Affair came to pass nevertheless.  So who is in charge?  Clearly not me, at least not when Fate is involved.  Ultimately, I decided my mind had been Blinded by the Force of Fate as a way to elicit my cooperation.  The story of Oedipus can be dismissed as Mythology, however my story is real.  Here in modern times half the human race is said to believe in Fate.  The story of Doorstep Night is a major reason why I agree with them. 

DOES COSMIC BLINDNESS REALLY EXIST?
 

I can pinpoint the exact moment I began to wonder about the existence of Cosmic Blindness as a possible explanation for my stupidity.

"All you had to do was keep your pants on."

In Hindsight, I can report Jennifer's words have haunted me for a lifetime.  Baffled by my inexplicable loss of common sense, I became incredibly suspicious that my mind had been tampered with.

My theory of Cosmic Blindness says that at key points in our life our common sense will be temporarily blocked.  Why would this happen?  And for what purpose?  Based on my Doorstep Night experience and other events in my life, I believe our common sense is removed at certain times because Fate decrees we must make a serious mistake.  I am not referring to little mistakes, but rather a costly mistake that will affect the course of our life.

How does one know if or when they have been blinded?  You will never know until it is too late.  If you say, "I must have lost my mind", that is your first clue.  If your behavior is "highly uncharacteristic" and "out of the ordinary", that will be your second clue.  If you feel overwhelmingly stupid afterwards, that is your third clue. 

I believe Cosmic Blindness is a tool used by Fate to enact certain predetermined events.  My best guess is our thoughts are manipulated beyond our awareness as a way to allow us to do something our conscience or common sense would ordinarily prevent.  How often does this take place?  I doubt it is frequent.  During my life, I have observed three distinct experiences where I personally felt Blinded.  In each of my three suspected experiences, my loss of judgment created a whopper of a problem.  The consequences of my so-called 'Blinded' mistakes were so serious and so 'unlike me' that afterwards I asked myself how I could have ever been so stupid.  As if ruining my life was not sufficient punishment, the ultimate slap was being forced to wonder why my own mind failed me when I needed it the most.

Where did I first hear of this theory?  No one else.  This idea is the product of observations I have made over the course of my life.  Does Cosmic Blindness really exist?  No one can know for sure.  That said, I totally believe in the idea.  Is Cosmic Blindness limited to serious mistakes?  Not necessarily.  I believe our lives are scripted ahead of time with certain Lucky Breaks and Bad Breaks penciled in.  If it is our Fate to receive a Lucky Break, what easier way than to plant a good idea in our mind at the right time?  If it is our Fate to receive a Bad Break, what easier way than to remove our common sense at a key moment? 

Given that this is an extraordinary claim, I do not expect anyone to readily agree with me.  Here is a suggestion.  Think about your own life.  Try to recall a time when you made a serious mistake and later found yourself asking this question: "What was I thinking?"  Then ask yourself if this was the stupidest thing you ever did in your life.  Who knows, you may end up agreeing with me. 

REGARDING THE FORCE OF FATE
 

Does anyone else besides me believe in Cosmic Blindness?  Yes.  I have a hunch J.K. Rowling agrees with me. 

Joanne Rowling once said that "Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them." 

Then she added, "Talent and Intelligence have never inoculated anyone from the Caprice of the Fates." 

Forgive me for being presumptuous, but I could just as easily have said the same thing.  No matter how smart someone is, whenever Fate decides it is their turn to do something stupid, the lights go out at the key moment.

Mistakes are made when the Warning System fails to operate in a person's mind. 

On Doorstep Night, I observed a dramatic example of Cosmic Blindness.  Victoria threw away her marriage, I helped her do it.  Michael gave her permission.  Jennifer withheld important information about her fiancé.  If any of us had been in our right mind, this tragedy would have never happened.

I decided the only way to get an intelligent person to commit acts contrary to their will would be to remove their common sense.  I also concluded the Force of Fate has the power to put someone on automatic pilot if their Destiny calls for it.

Do I truly believe this is possible?  Yes, I do.  I am a cautious person by nature who prides himself on self-control.  I weigh my words and actions carefully before any important decision.  Let me add that I was never more on guard than the night Victoria walked through my door by using my own stupid words against me.  I had Jennifer to protect.  I had my dance career to protect.  I had Victoria's husband and daughter to protect.  Well aware of these issues, while Victoria sat on the living room couch making her case for living with me, I wracked my mind endlessly for some way to send her home without provoking the kind of rage that would cause the Snarling Tiger Woman to ruin my dance career.  As I listened to Victoria explain her decision to move in with me, I had 30 minutes to think of a way out.  Not once did a solution occur to me.  During this time, not once did I think of Stephanie.  Given the intensity of my Poolside Revelations, how could I forget about Stephanie?  I did not think about the girl a single time that night.  For that matter, what about the memory of my father's affair and my Sacred Oath never to repeat my father's mistake?  None of these thoughts occurred to me. 

Mistakes are made when the Warning System fails to operate in a person's mind. 

I have used Doorstep Night to illustrate how I personally came to believe in Cosmic Blindness.  As food for thought, I will now offer three possible examples of Cosmic Blindness from a Mythological, Biblical, and Historical perspective.

MYTHOLOGICAL COSMIC BLINDNESS THE TROJAN HORSE

"Beware Greeks bearing gifts!" 

In 1873, Heinrich Schliemann, an amateur archeologist, discovered the remains of a very large ancient city near the coast of the Aegean Sea in western Turkey.  After careful study, the scholars dated these ruins back to 1200 BC.  Considering these findings matched the date the Trojan War was said to take place, the existence of Troy was no longer a myth.  So what about the Trojan Horse?  Gosh, you say, there is no proof that this bizarre reason for the Fall of Troy really happened.  I agree it sounds far-fetched, but for the fun of it, let's pretend the story of the Trojan Horse is on the level.  If so, then one of history's most startling examples of Cosmic Blindness was the decision to haul the Trojan Horse inside the walls of Troy.  We all know how that turned out. 

Unless you were one of the victims, the Trojan Horse story is comical.  For no obvious reason whatsoever, the citizens of an entire city lost their mind.  One morning the Trojans discovered the Greek camp was empty and ten thousand Greek ships had disappeared.  Since people see what they want to see, the Trojans assumed the Greeks had given up and gone home.  Ah, but look what the Greeks left behind!  Behold the magnificent wooden horse standing three three stories tall.  The Greeks must have left this to honor our Victory!!

One characteristic of Cosmic Stupidity is Blindness to Danger.  So ask yourself this.  In the annals of History, how many times have a defeated nation been kind enough to donate a lovely prize to the victor?  Did the American government leave behind an attractive statue of Ho Chi Minh after deserting South Vietnam in shame?  I assume you see my point.  Indeed, following a fierce ten year battle in which countless Trojans had been sent to Hades, surely the survivors had come to distrust their mortal enemy.  So what would cause the entire community of Troy to let down its guard and drag the giant Horse inside their walls? 

Even more embarrassing, the Trojans were warned to be careful.  Princess Cassandra was the daughter of Priam, King of Troy.  Due to her gift of prophecy, Cassandra fervently begged her father not to allow his men to haul the mysterious Horse inside the gates of Troy.  Priam ignored his headstrong daughter and her vision of doom.  So did everyone else.  No one would listen.  In fact, they were openly hostile, bombarding the prophetess with harsh insults.  Despite being called a fool, Cassandra was determined to save Troy.  Grabbing an axe in one hand and a burning torch in the other, she ran towards the Trojan Horse to expose the hidden Greeks.  The Trojan guards stopped Cassandra and imprisoned her.  For reasons we will never know, the Trojans lost complete control of their common sense. 

Mistakes are made when the Warning System fails to operate in a person's mind. 

BIBLICAL COSMIC BLINDNESS BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

Blindness is a frequent theme in the Bible.  We like to think of our God as Gentle, Loving and Kind, yet the Bible is sprinkled with stories of God's dissatisfaction and subsequent punishment.  Generally referred to as 'Spiritual Blindness', it is considered a corollary to Divine Inspiration.  Biblical references to Blindness suggest the condition is deliberately invoked by a Higher Power.  If God has the power to enlighten us and answer our prayers, then He can also close our minds if that is his Will.

For example, one of the great mysteries in the Bible is why the Jews in the time of Christ failed to recognize Jesus as the Messiah.  The coming of the Messiah had been foretold by Jewish prophets long before His birth.  Indeed, the Book of Isaiah foretold the coming of a Messiah.  Isaiah told of the Suffering Servant, how he would suffer and die to save many from their sins, be buried in a rich man's tomb, and become a shining light to the Gentiles.  Isaiah also predicted Jesus would be rejected and unrecognized.

As we know, these predictions came true.  However, they make little sense.  How could the Jews not believe in Jesus after he performed his astounding miracles?   The answer is simple.  Maybe they were Blinded. 

But their minds [the Jews] were blinded.  For until this day the same veil remains unlifted in the reading of the Old Testament, because the veil is taken away in Christ.  -- Corinthians 3:14

When Pontius Pilate asked the Jews to behold this man called Jesus, it was their rejection that doomed Christ to the cross. 

Even after Jesus had performed so many signs in the presence of the Jews, they still would not believe in Him.   - - John 12:35-37

This is a touchy subject and I do not wish to start a Biblical argument.  All I am saying is that certain Biblical passages suggest God has been known to deliberately blind humans to the truth.  If God can close eyes, He can open them as well.  There is a well-known religious phrase, "I see the light", which refers to Enlightenment.  There is also the well-known phrase "Blinded by the Light" which refers to the Conversion of Paul. 

Have you ever wondered how intelligent people can also be prejudiced?  Take Saul for example.  Saul earned a reputation as a cut-throat enemy of the Christians.  He was quick to ruthlessly punish anyone for their Christian beliefs.  Saul was so cruel one might consider him a 'Blind Fool' for his evil ways.  Then one day this avowed opponent of Christianity was confronted by Jesus on the road to Damascus.  Blinded by the Light, Saul was subsequently brought to his senses by Jesus.   After receiving Enlightenment, a man who once ceaselessly persecuted Christians was converted into an ardent follower of Jesus.  As an Apostle, Paul went on to spread the gospel of Christ throughout the first-century world.

HISTORICAL COSMIC BLINDNESS NAPOLEON LOSES HIS MIND

"Talent and Intelligence will not inoculate anyone against the caprice of the Fates."  -- J.K. Rowling

Mankind has been preoccupied with the mystery of self-destructive behavior since the dawn of time.  As for me, ever since my own downfall, I have spent my life preoccupied with the question of why highly intelligent people sometimes make really dumb mistakes.    Invariably my mind turns to Napoleon.  No one ever accused Napoleon of being stupid.  Indeed, he is considered the greatest military genius of all time.  However, apparently even military geniuses have their blind spots. 

Napoleon's decision to attack Russia made perfect sense on paper.  Against his army of half a million, the Russians never had a chance.  Their army was much smaller, it had little equipment and virtually no training.  Consequently the Russians employed a survival technique known as retreat, retreat, retreat.  Refusing to fight Napoleon's massive army in a pitched battle, the Russian army constantly retreated deep into their country.  The longer they delayed the showdown, they prayed the brutal Russian winter would come to their aid.

During their prolonged withdrawal, the Russian army made an unorthodox decision to burn their crops along the way.  Why?  To deprive Napoleon's army of food.  It was a brutal decision because countless Russian peasants starved to death in the process.  As Napoleon passed corpse after Russian corpse, he knew exactly what the enemy was doing.  However, Napoleon was not worried.  He assumed his army would find plenty of food once they got to Moscow. 

So what did the Russians do?  When Napoleon arrived at Moscow, they burned the city to the ground to deprive his army of food.  Checkmate. 

Mistakes are made when the Warning System fails to operate in a person's mind. 

As Napoleon's starving army slunk back to France, the man said to be the smartest man in Europe had plenty of time to wonder how he could have ever been so blind.  Seriously, how could Napoleon allow his army to be so easily trapped?  While Napoleon had chased the retreating Russian army deep into the heart of Mother Russia, Cossacks were raiding his supply lines from the rear.  Although Napoleon had ample supplies, half a million men go through a lot of food.  There was no food coming up from behind and no food to be found due to the burned crops in front.  So Napoleon put all his eggs in one basket: Moscow. 

Huge mistake.  He never dreamed the Russians would burn down their own capital.  Napoleon never saw it coming.  Blind Spot.   Was Napoleon just having a bad day?  Or did he fall victim to the 'Caprice of the Fates'?

History is full of stories where the decisions of so-called brilliant men have turned out to be insanely stupid.  Hitler's ill-advised decision to repeat Napoleon's mistake by attacking Russia is a good example.  Japan's decision to attack Pearl Harbor is another.  There is a famous quote attributed to Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto regarding the 1941 attack.

"I fear all we have accomplished is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."

COSMIC BLINDNESS AND FORGIVENESS

In 2002, I read a disturbing story in the newspaper about a local woman who murdered her husband in a way that evoked the term 'Temporary Insanity'.  Warned by a private eye that her husband was at a local hotel engaging in an act of adultery, the woman waited for him and his mistress to appear in the parking lot.  The moment she spotted her husband, the woman hit him with her car.  For good measure, she backed up her car and ran over his body two more times.  Not surprisingly, at her trial the issue of 'Temporary Insanity' came up.  Mental confusion at the time of a sudden crime of passion can be a valid legal defense, especially if one can prove the lack of premeditation.  We have all heard the term 'Blind Rage'.  Could this be 'Cosmic Blindness' by another name?  I say yes, but don't expect your attorney to recommend it as a valid defense. 

Earlier I mentioned a hallmark of Cosmic Blindness is "Uncharacteristic Behavior".  As a dentist, she was a highly respected member of her community who had never committed a crime in her life.  Here was a lady who had it all... family, wealth, health, and career.  Then one day she lost her mind and did something wrong.  Not a little mistake, mind you, but rather a quite serious mistake that changed the course of her life.  If ever there was an example of "Uncharacteristic Behavior", this lady's once-in-a-lifetime criminal act fit the description. 

Another hallmark of Cosmic Blindness is the utter senselessness of one's mistake.   Everyone agreed this woman hardly fit the profile of a killer.  But for this one terrible moment, a woman previously considered "Good" had suddenly broken "Bad".  Perhaps the court of public opinion would have been more compassionate if they thought she was a victim of Fate.  Unfortunately, that is not the way of the world.  It may be Divine to Forgive, but in my experience most Realistic-minded people prefer to cast stones. 

As I followed the murder trial, I was surprised to see how little sympathy was given the woman in the media.  Article after article spoke of her cruelty and the shocking viciousness of her revenge.  Seeing the woman repeatedly vilified, I was shocked to see Houston become the Town without Pity.  But here's the funny thing.  By all accounts, prior to the murder she was said to be a kind and loving woman.  She was liked by the people who knew her and well-respected as a leader in her community.  Now suddenly this woman is pure evil.  Why was it so easy for people to forget that this woman had once been considered an upstanding member of society?  My guess is that her loss of self-control frightened people because it did not make sense.  Who among us understand the darkest regions of the human soul?  If a sweet woman like this can turn into a monster, are any of us safe from the demons of our own mind? 

Texas Law was not kind to this woman.  They threw the book at her with a 20 year sentence.  Nor was Texas Law in a forgiving mood.  Denied parole twice, she served 14 years of her 20-year sentence for killing a cheating husband she had once loved dearly.  Why was this woman treated so harshly?  Apparently the fact that she drove over the dead body three times made her offense seem more serious.  (Note to Reader:  If you decide commit a crime of passion, be sure to shoot them only once in order to reduce your sentence.) 

So why did this story disturb me so much?  Because my own mistake with Victoria gave me empathy.  Imagine what it would be like to lead an exemplary life only to make ONE MISTAKE and ruin everything?  As I pondered this story, I wondered if she thought about Fate.  Did she feel tricked or 'set up' by the strange circumstances of the day?  Perhaps she too wondered if her mind had been deliberately clouded.  Personally, I doubt it.  Most people do not think in those terms.  No doubt she blamed herself and felt terribly guilty.

Most of all, I wondered if this woman was able to forgive herself.  This is important, so let me explain.  I do not agree with the decision of Oedipus to blind himself.  If a person is the victim of Fate, yes, they should feel regret for their mistake.  And, yes, they should take responsibility and seek a way to atone for their sin.  But what is the point of feeling guilty?  If a person is helpless to avoid their Fate, then why carry a heavy burden around?  Why hate yourself?  I say pay the price, learn your lesson, and find a way to redeem yourself. 

I cannot speak for this woman, but I will share what I did after Doorstep Night.  First and foremost, I learned my lesson.  Due to my unusual position as a dance teacher, over the course of my career I came in contact with many women suffering from troubled marriages.  Not once did I take advantage of the situation.  With the memory of Victoria permanently etched in my mind, I refused to make the same mistake. 

As for my relationship with Victoria, in my next book we will see how the Affair affected my life in a very profound way.  I prefer not to share the secret of what came next, but I will say that I did the right thing. 

And how exactly did I redeem myself?  By writing this book to suggest a novel way to deal with misfortune.  I realize I invite ridicule by espousing a theory as crazy as Fate and Cosmic Blindness.  But what if I am right?  What if it is true that our worst mistakes are caused by the Force of Fate?  Should we wallow in guilt and waste the rest of our life hating ourselves?  Should we take a knife and poke out our eyes?  Or should we find a way to turn our misfortune into something positive?  I can only speak for myself.  My belief in the concept of Fate and Cosmic Blindness has helped me see my most inexplicable failings in a more forgiving light.  Rather than complain to God about misfortune, I do my best to accept there is a purpose to everything.  Ever since Doorstep Night, I have dedicated myself to follow the Will of God.  I live by the Golden Rue, I show gratitude for God's blessings, and I do the best I can to grow from my mistakes.