THE REASON I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES
 

As I write, it has been 56 years since the Parking Lot Conversation.  In all those years I have never wavered from my initial Observation that something remarkable had taken place.  It is one thing to decide after the fact that something unusual has happened.  However, in my case, I believed I was witnessing a Supernatural Event the moment Mrs. Ballantyne walked in the door.  This woman had no business being here!  Her unexplained appearance was shocking enough, but things got stranger when she began to show a serious interest in me.  There were so many aspects that felt out of the Ordinary, I became incredibly spooked by the surrealistic quality of the moment.

•    There was no rational way to explain why the single person I considered to be the finest mother on the planet should emerge out of thin air at such a critical time. 
   
•    Even if Mrs. Ballantyne was here just by accident, how could I explain why this busy woman would go out of her way to take a lonely, miserable kid she had never met under her wing?
   
•    There was no earthly reason why the person I held partially responsible for losing my Jones Scholarship problems should emerge out of thin air for questioning... except here she was.
   
•    What about Katina?  She was the only person of interest to me in the entire Senior class, so it was another coincidence that she of all people was involved.  What were the odds?  One in 50.
   
•    There was no way to explain how weird it felt that the same woman could be my greatest hero and my worst enemy at the same time.
   
•    Mrs. Ballantyne had no business being in this place.  So what brought her here?
   
•    What about the Doppelganger issue?  It seemed very strange that the most important woman and the least important student at St. John's had virtually identical childhoods. 
   
•    How was it possible that two people who did not know each other somehow made the Doppelganger discovery upon their very first meeting?  Doesn't it usually take time for people to open up and share the secret of their unhappy past?
   
•    How was it possible for Mrs. Ballantyne to go nine years without noticing me, then adopt me the moment we meet?

•   Weirdness

What would the movie tagline be? 

"At the moment of a young man's greatest crisis, a woman he has secretly admired his whole life magically appears to open his Door to Destiny.  Based on a true story." 

I remember what passed through my mind as Mrs. Ballantyne drove away after our long talk.

"This is by far the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me.  I must be crazy!  This is not some random person out of nowhere who decided to do me a favor, this is the most talented mother on earth.  If I had been given a choice, I could not have picked a better person to come to my aid.  I want to know what reason could have possibly brought this lady to my side at such an important moment."

"Weirdness" is a word I often use for a difficult-to-describe feeling regarding an event I think might be "Supernatural" in origin.  Synonyms for Weirdness include eerie, unnatural, unreal, unearthly, otherworldly, ghostly, mysterious, mystifying, extraordinary, strange, abnormal, unusual, bizarre, creepy, spooky, freaky, odd, inexplicable.  Every single one of those words describes EXACTLY how I felt about Mrs. Ballantyne's parking lot intervention. 

But did I talk about my feelings to anyone?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  I never told a soul. 

I had observed the ridicule and disbelief expressed towards people who reported seeing UFOs.  As an example, many well-meaning people were convinced something strange took place at Roswell.  After sharing their stories, they were labeled 'weirdos, kooks, and crackpots'.  Treated as laughing stocks by most people, the scientists were swift to add the typical disclaimers.  'Self-deception, suggestibility, delusion, inability to be objective, tendency to see what they want to see, desperate need for attention, psychopathology.' 

Who would be stupid enough to invite this kind of abuse?

In 2005, I wrote a version of my 1968 parking lot conversation with Mrs. Ballantyne and published it on my website.  At the time I had a business to run, so my story was a heavily-sanitized version of what really happened.  For one thing, I carefully omitted the cheating angle.  I also avoided any hint of mysticism.  Why admit my spiritual beliefs and risk being lumped with the UFO nutcases?  Unwilling to subject myself to scorn, I made a determined effort to steer clear of God, Fate, Religion, and Supernatural possibilities.  Nor did I dare whisper the dangerous word known as 'Coincidence'.  Even though watered down, the story of Mrs. Ballantyne's kindness was very well-received.  In addition to some nice compliments, I was relieved when no one cared to dig deeper... except one.  A friend of mine named Keller Moot really loved the story.  However, he was very troubled over something. 

"Rick, Mrs. Ballantyne's appearance was quite a coincidence.  If I have interpreted your story correctly, it reads like a case of Divine Intervention.  I don't believe in Divine Intervention.  Even if there is a God, like Einstein said, He does not play dice with the Universe.  Did you leave something out or exaggerate in some way?"

I suspected Keller was troubled by the same thoughts that had once troubled me.  In his heart, I think Keller wanted to believe in the possibility of Divine Intervention, but his brain was not ready to accept the spiritual implications without further convincing.  Keller wanted to make absolutely sure there was no 'Realistic' explanation for her timely appearance. 

"Could you be more specific?"

"Sure.  I don't believe Mrs. Ballantyne showed up at the grocery store by accident.  I think someone told her about your problems with the Jones Scholarship, so she dropped by to clear it up.  Probably Mr. Salls told her something in advance to inspire her visit to your grocery store."

With a rueful smile, I told Keller I had asked myself this same question a million times.

"Keller, the answer is no.  I cannot think of a single explanation that makes any sense in Realistic terms other than it was a once-in-a-million fluke.  Mrs. Ballantyne had no business coming to a store so far out of her way.  Furthermore, if Mr. Salls had tipped her off in advance, she would have introduced herself when she walked in.  But instead she walked right past me.  Given the blank look on her face, she had no idea who I was.  I was a total stranger to her.  That was the moment I realized she was there to shop, not to see me.  For this reason I am convinced no one tipped her off in advance where I worked."

"Well, what about her daughter?  Maybe Katina sensed you might be upset about losing that scholarship."

"Katina was always cordial to me, but we were not friends.  Even though our lockers were side by side alphabetically, I cannot recall a single time we spoke on a personal level.  She had no idea what my personal life was like nor did any of my classmates.  Given our lack of rapport, I cannot imagine Katina guessing how upset I was over losing the Jones Scholarship."

Keller was not convinced.  "What about your teacher friend Mr. Curran?  Maybe he said something to her."

"I never told Mr. Curran about the Jones Scholarship.  For that matter, no one in the school had any idea how important this setback was to me.  However, for the sake of argument, let's say someone did guess I was upset that Katina won the scholarship and passed their suspicion on to Mrs. Ballantyne.  Why would she go to the trouble of tracking me down at the grocery store?  All she had to do was look for me in the St. John's hallway.  Or check my schedule and find me that way.  Like I said, she did not recognize me when she entered my store.  I swear no one tipped her off."

"Can't you think of anything to explain her presence?  Unless you left something out, your story is beyond weird."

"Look, Keller, I agree with you.  I spent two years in college trying to figure out what really took place.  I could not come up with a single Realistic answer.  It defies the imagination.  Why would this busy, prestigious woman give nearly an hour of her time to a total stranger unless some kind of spark drew her to me?  The time we spent together was so powerful it changed the direction of my life.  I was just as awestruck by Mrs. Ballantyne as St. Paul must have been the day Jesus blinded him with light, then opened his eyes to the truth.  That is how important this moment was to me."

"Okay, Rick, I can see why you think Mrs. Ballantyne's visit was just some fluke as opposed to a planned visit.  But that brings up another question.  It is kind of awkward.  Is that okay?"

"Ask me anything you want."

"Were there any witnesses to this event?" 

"There were no witnesses.  It was just Mrs. Ballantyne and me standing in a remote corner of the parking lot."

"Please don't get upset, but why should someone who does not know you personally take your word for it?"

"I suppose you could say Mrs. Ballantyne was a witness.  Not only that, she read the same story on the Internet as you did.  If there was something false about the story, I imagine she would have complained to one of her children.  Instead she did just the opposite.   Mrs. Ballantyne was so touched by my story that she called me on the phone and invited me to lunch.  And guess who came with her?  Her daughter Katina.  If anyone had a right to be suspicious, it would have been Katina.

We met at a River Oaks restaurant named La Griglia on West Gray.  Katina listened politely as Mrs. Ballantyne spent the next hour talking about St. John's and the time we met." 

"What makes you think Katina believed you?"

"That is a very good question.  During the meal, I watched Katina's expressions carefully.  Katina did not seem upset.  However, even if she was upset, there can be no doubt Katina could tell from her mother's conversation that the parking lot meeting took place.  I am fairly sure all seven of Mrs. Ballantyne's children know about the 1968 incident.  After all, the 2005 story is there on the Internet for any of them to read.  I don't know what their opinion is, but they are definitely aware the incident took place."

"So why didn't you ask her why she was at your grocery store that day?"

"Do you want to know the truth?  Mrs. Ballantyne had the most dominant personality of any woman I have ever met.  I was dying to ask her that exact question, but I could not get a word in edgewise.  Just when I finally got an opening to say something, we had run out of time.  Given the chance for only one question, I asked Mrs. Ballantyne to describe what she remembered about our meeting in the parking lot all those years ago."

"What did she say?"

"I don't remember her exact words, but it went something like this.  '"Rick, I had a million thoughts, but most of all I thought how weird it was to find a poor kid amongst all those wealthy children who attended St. John's.  Even though I myself had grown up poor, I admit I never expected to meet someone with a story similar to mine at a place like St. John's.  Once I discovered our parallel past, I was determined to get to know you better.'"

"She didn't explain why she came to your store?"

"No, but I wish she had.  It was time to go, so I left it at that."

Keller thought it over, then begrudgingly nodded in agreement.  I knew exactly what was going on.  He was wrestling with the unspoken implications of an astounding coincidence.  It is very scary to accept the possibility that God plays a direct role in our lives.  But there comes a time when the facts make it clear there is no other choice. 

"Okay, Rick, if there is no Realistic explanation, then do you have an Un-Realistic explanation for what brought her there?"

I laughed at the odd way he put it.  Keller was starting to catch on.  If it wasn't an accident, then what was it?

"I have two theories, Keller.  Both of them are off the wall.  One theory suggests that God, or an agent of our Lord such as a guardian angel, sent this lady to my side via telepathic message.  Mrs. Ballantyne's husband worked at the nearby Medical Center, so maybe she passed by my store on her way home after visiting him and got a timely suggestion to turn in.  Or maybe she was coming home after a meeting at the Annunciation Orthodox School.  She was on the school board.  In that case, her most direct route home would have been Alabama Street.  This would have taken her right past my store.  A timely telepathic suggestion that she "urgently" needed groceries did the rest.  My grocery store was as good a place as any, so she turned in."

"What is your other theory?"

"My other theory is based on something Mark Twain said.  His interest in Coincidence was well-known.  "Ah, what a delightful thing a coincidence is!  There isn't anybody to whom that mysterious conjunction which we call a coincidence is a matter barren of interest."

Twain encountered so many coincidences, he reached the point where he could not dismiss them in good faith them as curious accidents.  Fed up with people who constantly downplayed bizarre coincidences as silly and unimportant, Twain decided most people avoided the truth because they feared the spooky Occult explanations.  To believe in Fate, one has to accept they do not have complete control over their own lives.  No one likes that thought.  Twain proposed a theory called 'Mental Telegraphy', a term I suppose is what we call ESP.

"I believe a mind can act upon another mind in a quite detailed and elaborate way over vast stretches of land and water.  Somehow one mind can influence another mind through thought alone."  -- Mark Twain

Mark Twain believed we are all connected at the level of the Soul.  I happen to agree.  In Real Life Mrs. Ballantyne and I were strangers, but on a deeper level we were linked.  Carl Jung said something similar, calling it the Collective Unconscious.  I think there is a distinct possibility that in my time of need, some deeper part of me telepathically summoned the finest mother I knew to my side."

Keller replied, "Most people would dismiss an explanation like Mental Telegraphy."

I nodded.  "Yes, of course they would.  Given how far-fetched my theory is, I can certainly see why.  However, I cannot get the allusion to a Cinderella-like Fairy Godmother out of my mind.  Here I am headed to the edge of the cliff and suddenly this amazing woman comes out of nowhere to lift my spirits.  Her effect on me was so profound that I decided Mark Twain was right.  Mrs. Ballantyne and I must have had some sort of mystical psychic connection that defies understanding."

"How did you feel when she began to tell you her life story?"

"I was absolutely stunned.  I mean, here is this rich, powerful woman.  Why would she admit she came from the same humble beginning to some nobody kid she had never met before.  Look at it this way.  Who is your greatest hero?"

"President Kennedy."

"Perfect.  So you meet President Kennedy out in the woods on a nature trail in the middle of nowhere.  That's crazy enough.  He has a million better things to do, but instead he stops and strikes up a conversation.  Then you notice he has taken an immediate liking to you.  That's even crazier.  Next thing you know, John Kennedy decides to tell you his life story.  How would you feel?"

"I would be blown away."

"Exactly!  But here's what makes it even stranger.  Six days before I met Mrs. Ballantyne, her daughter won an award that rightfully should have gone to me.  That's a 1 in 50 chance right there.  I was astonished enough that I did not win the award, but why, I asked, did it have to be Katina?  There was only one person in my entire graduating class that I had any energy on and that was Katina.  That is because her mother had secretly been so important to me for nine years.  This development hit a very raw nerve.  How would you feel if you thought John Kennedy helped his daughter steal your scholarship?"

"I would have been crushed."

"Me too.  First I admired the woman, now I despised her.  I was certain she had interfered at my expense.  So who do you think I thought about every waking moment for an entire week?  MRS. BALLANTYNE!  If anyone besides Katina had won the award, I would not have been so upset.  But this was my hero who turned out to be my enemy.  Considering I thought about Mrs. Ballantyne night and day for a week, I was astonished when this woman showed up at my grocery store.  You want to know the weird thought that crossed my mind?"

"Sure."

"Once I realized that no one had persuaded her to come see me, I wondered if all the thinking I had done about Mrs. Ballantyne had something to do with summoning her to come see me in person."

Keller laughed.  "You're making this up."

"No, I'm not!  Yes, it was strange that she was here, but all the people on the earth, this was the same woman I had been obsessing over for an entire week!  And just when I had begun to hate her, she adopts me!  Good grief, first she's my secret hero, then she's my worst enemy, now she's my best friend in the world!  My brain was doing somersaults.  I had no idea why she felt such a strong connection to me.  This incredibly busy woman is sacrificing nearly an hour of her time to help a boy she has never met in her life.  If that was not weird enough, without any prompting Mrs. Ballantyne decided to clear up the mystery of why her daughter won the scholarship.  That was the last straw.  I was so shocked, I actually wondered if this woman could read my mind.  When you add up all the strange elements of this story, you can see why I have spent my lifetime trying to understand every unexplained element of our encounter."

"In your story, you did not come out and say it, but based on the way you have described what happened, you make it sound like you consider this a Miracle.  Is that what you think?"

"To me, it all boils down to Faith.  I cannot prove this was a Miracle to a skeptic.  However, I have a right to believe what I saw with my own eyes.  Given the Impact this experience has had on my life, Mrs. Ballantyne is the reason I believe in God and Fate.  Given my fascination with this lady from the moment I first saw her nine years earlier, it seems likely that she was meant to play a special role in my life.  Or maybe I was meant to play a special role in her life.  Some say Coincidence is a small miracle where God prefers to stay anonymous.  Others may have their doubts, but to answer your question, yes, I think Mrs. Ballantyne's visit was a Miracle."