After the party at Casa Mark, I drove home in a very good mood.  I was thrilled that Mark and Donna's Intervention had helped me regain my enthusiasm for dancing.  As I walked to my apartment, a very pleasant thought crossed my mind.  Maybe I should pay Gloria a visit.  I had not seen her in three weeks.  This would be a good time to tell her how much I missed her.  Despite the midnight hour, I went upstairs and knocked on the door to Apartment 16. 

A groggy, yet smiling Gloria answered the door in her nightgown.

"Oh my goodness.  Look who the wind blew in."

Gloria was pleased to see me and I was pleased to see her.  Considering the pain of Rachel's loss still troubled me greatly, I was deeply grateful for her companionship.  Gloria did not make me forget Rachel, but she definitely helped chase the blues away.  Gloria could tell something was bothering me, but she was not one to pry.  For that matter, I thought it would be disrespectful to tell her about Rachel. 

Following our reunion on Casa Mark Night, Gloria and slipped into a routine.  Every now and then, I would knock on Gloria's door without warning.  It was all very random.  And did Gloria complain?  No.  If it bothered her, she never said anything.  She never turned me down.  Nor did she ever come looking for me.  This was the least complicated relationship of my life.

Gloria would come to play a very unique role in my life.  Readers may recall my Dance Project began with the discovery of the Mistress Book.  The book had promised to help me find a Mistress and keep her on my own terms.  To my surprise I actually stumbled upon a Mistress of my very own.  Well, what do you know about that?  And did the book's advice about dance lessons help in any way?  No, not at all.  And did the book's advice on how to keep a Mistress on my own terms prove useful?  Not really.  I saw no reason to keep Gloria 'on my own terms' for the simple reason that our unspoken agreement was in total accord.  She can do what she wants, I can do what I want, no questions asked.  This pattern continued throughout the Lost Years.  During one misadventure after another with girls my age, Gloria remained constant as the Northern Star. 

I never got to know Gloria, probably because she was similar to me in several of the wrong ways.  In our case, two wrongs made a right.  Gloria was guarded, moody, touchy.  Sound familiar?  Like me,  Gloria was a loner by nature.  She did not like to talk about herself and got secretive whenever I asked personal questions.  For example, she enjoyed our midnight sex, but not once did she invite me to stick around and spend the night.  During our three years together, we had one honest to goodness date.  We argued the entire time.  After that, we wisely decided to stick to what we were good at and eschew any thoughts of romance. 

In three years I only saw one visitor go up to Gloria's apartment.  It turned out her visitor was a new boyfriend.  He was gone after two months.  After that, I never saw another man (or woman) beat a path to her door.  A man would have to pass by my living room window to do so.  Considering the many late nights I spent shooting pool, I would have noticed.  After the boyfriend disappeared, Gloria seemed content to give me exclusive rights to her arms. 

Gloria once hinted she was so fed up with men that she stopped looking.  Gloria complained the only men interested in her wanted someone to take care of them in their old age.  Considering she was not the nurturing caretaker type, this made sense.  However, I thought it best not to inquire further.  Nor did I wish to talk about my own tattered love life.  Since Gloria never bothered to probe, I doubt she even cared.  One of the things I appreciated about Gloria was her refusal to slip into the 'Mother' role.  I imagine the moment she started playing 'Mom' would have been the end of it.  Fortunately Gloria tiptoed that dangerous line with great care. 

Over a period of three years, I paid Gloria a visit about once a month, maybe month and a half.  There was no consistency or rhythm to my timing.  It all depended on whether I was seeing someone else.  I would always drop by late after a night of basketball.  Gloria never turned me down.  Nor did she complain about the late hour and unpredictability of my visits.  All I had to do was knock.  Gloria was an unusually sexy woman.  Her age never bothered me.  She was a mentor who taught me lessons in love-making that were much needed.  However, our relationship never crossed into romance.  We both instinctively knew where the lines were drawn.  We would chat over a glass of wine, make love, and I would head back to my apartment. 

Due to our significant age difference, I wasn't afraid of getting hooked on Gloria (or vice versa).  I relaxed and enjoyed the relationship for what it was.  Gloria was a neighbor with whom I shared a wonderful moment once in a while, then parted.  One month later, we would hook up again.  I did not think about her in the meantime.  Gloria occupied a remote corner of my life and likewise I occupied a remote corner of hers.  It was an unusual relationship, yes, but not unheard of.  She was fed up with men her age and I was fearful of women my age.  We were a perfect match.  Maybe Too Perfect.  Like Rachel, Gloria had 'Supernatural' written all over her.  One need look no further than the remarkable way our relationship started to be suspicious.  Gloria may very well have served a Cosmic Purpose we will get to shortly. 

For lack of a better word, there was something 'Weird' about our relationship.  I mentioned Gloria was the answer to two wishes.  In addition to becoming the only Mistress I ever had, what was her other role?  A few months into our relationship, I learned that Gloria's last name was 'Robinson'.

I immediately snapped to attention.  In my Senior year of high school, I had written an 18 page thesis on The Graduate.  Due to my sense of inferiority at St. John's, I strongly identified with Ben, the underdog hero in the movie played by Dustin Hoffman.  Readers may recall the name of Hoffman's sultry mistress, the infamous Mrs. Robinson.

I was quite taken with the sexy Mrs. Robinson in the movie.  "Gee, wouldn't it be great if I could get that lucky someday?"  That wish had crossed my mind on many occasions.  Therefore I find it very curious that the only mistress I ever had was an older woman named 'Mrs. Robinson'. 

I always thought the Gloria Robinson-Mrs. Robinson connection was a strange coincidence.  Gloria definitely belonged in the category of 'Wishes come True' I write about.

Suspicious

The moment I heard Gloria's last name, it was weird to find myself in the identical situation as the Dustin Hoffman character.  Noting our age difference, I immediately began to tease her.  I pointed out that Simon and Garfunkel had recorded a hit song about her.  I began humming the tune.

'Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you.'  

Gloria had no idea what I was talking about.  Seeing that Gloria was mystified, I gathered she did not listen to pop music.  So I explained that 'Mrs. Robinson' was the name of the older woman in the movie The Graduate who had seduced a young man about my age.  Identical to me, the young man had no well-defined aim in life.  How could I forget?  I had been obsessed because the young hero was an underdog misfit like myself.  Now I had acquired a Mrs. Robinson of my very own.  Kind of an odd coincidence, yes?  All those impure teenage fantasies had finally come true.

Gloria had never heard of the movie, so I told her the woman's first name was 'Gloria' as well.  This of course was a fib.  'Mrs. Robinson' in the movie was never given a first name, but Gloria didn't need to know that.  I was having far too much fun teasing her about her name.  Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention that Gloria had a bad temper.  I learned this the hard way.  I made the mistake of claiming Gloria had tried to seduce me.  Well, in some ways I suppose she had, but it had not required much effort.

The quarrel started when I wondered why Gloria was so totally unaware of anything to do with American pop culture.  How could she not know about The Graduate?  Considering Gloria had said she moved into this apartment a year ago, it occurred to me that she had probably moved here from Mexico.  That would explain her lack of knowledge.  So I asked if she had moved to Houston from Mexico last year. 

Gloria was surprised.  "How did you know that?"

"A lucky guess.  So how does it feel to live up to your naughty reputation?"

Gloria looked concerned.  "What naughty reputation?"

"Well, think about it.  The movie was about a woman named Mrs. Robinson who robbed the cradle.  A woman with your name is world-famous for seducing a young man and here you are living up to your bad reputation."

Gloria was very flustered.   "What does 'rob the cradle' mean?"

"When a person robs the cradle, it refers to a mature woman who persuades a much younger man to have sex with her.  Typically the young man is so inexperienced, he becomes terribly confused and is emotionally ruined for life.  I am taking a real chance with you."

Gloria was getting angry.  "What in the hell are you talking about!?"

I should have known better.  It was a mistake to take advantage of Gloria's lack of cultural awareness.  Gloria did not like being teased.  So did I stop when I still had a chance?  Of course not.  As I have said repeatedly, I had a long way to go in the charm department.

"You are so incredible, Mrs. Robinson.  I am so attached to you, I may never be able to pursue a girl my own age again."

Gloria gasped and blushed with embarrassment.  She thought I was serious.  She immediately began to cuss in Spanish.  Uh oh.  Once I realized the problem, I tried to reassure her.  "Calm down, Gloria, I'm just kidding you."

Gloria became livid.  "I did not know you were teasing.  This mierda (bullshit) es muy loco!  Shame on you!" 

Gloria slugged me with her fist on the fleshy part of my upper arm.  Ow!  She hit me so hard it left a serious bruise.  This is called learning the hard way.  I had no idea Gloria was so feisty.  First I stared at her in shock, then I laughed.  I had heard Latin women had a temper.  It was definitely true of Gloria.  Still upset that I was making jokes at her expense, Gloria had more to say on the subject. 

"Deja de decir mentiras! (stop telling lies).  You're the one who knocked on my door.  You better knock it off about this robbing the cradle business or I am going to spread rumors about you to the gay men.  You'll be sorry you ever messed with me."

That did the trick.  "Okay, okay, Gloria, calm down, I'm sorry!  No more jokes about robbing the cradle.  Just don't beat me up, please!"

Gloria did just the opposite.  She liked seeing me apologize.  She unbuttoned her shirt and pulled me to her body.  Kissing me hard, she whispered, "I've changed my mind.  I like robbing the cradle."

To be honest, Gloria could not have come along at a better time in my life.  As I got to know her, I began to understand our situation better.  On one of the few times she ever opened up, she explained that men her age were not available.  Apparently men her age were busy chasing younger women.  The only men who paid attention to her were much older.  She was bitter because these guys were looking for a younger woman to take care of them in their old age.  Unwilling to put up with this nonsense, she figured robbing the cradle was her best solution.  I felt very fortunate she had chosen me. 

I thought it was very unusual that Gloria had a son named Rick.  Not only that, he was my age and said to closely resemble me.  Gloria was right.  I only met her son once, but at the time I thought he could pass as my twin.  I hate to say it, but when she talked about him, it gave me the creeps because she said I reminded her so much of her son.  Between her being 'Mrs. Robinson' and me reminding her of her son, there was an odd undercurrent of incest.  No doubt the Ghost of Oedipus was rolling his eyes.

Around 9 pm one night I heard a knock on the door.  When I opened up, Gloria and a young man were standing there.  Surprise, surprise!  Without any warning, Gloria decided it was time for Rick to meet Rick.  As it turned out, this would be the only time she ever knocked.  So what was the occasion?  Gloria's son Rick was here in Houston to visit his mother.  I was shocked by the resemblance.  Like his mother said, her son could be my twin.  I was shocked that Gloria would bring her son to my apartment, especially without checking with me first.  I had very bad feeling about this.  It was awkward enough having a woman my mother's age as a mistress, but now Gloria wanted me to meet her son who was my age?  Good grief. 

Gloria was out of her mind, but for lack of a better idea how to handle this, I invited them in.  Rick agreed to shoot pool with me while his mother watched over in the corner.  I learned that Rick was in medical school in Mexico and that he was one year older than me.  Unfortunately our interaction was very tense.  He was unusually hostile, not by his words, but by his expressions.  My guess is that Rick knew my role in his mother's life and did not approve.  Clearly he did not want to be here any more than I wanted him here.  As we shot pool, I asked myself why Gloria would share such sensitive information with her son.  I did not know what Gloria had said, but Rick looked like he wanted to throw a punch at me.  What was all that anger about??  Did he think I was taking advantage of his mother? 

Fortunately our billiards match didn't last very long.  When I started beating him, Rick became so upset he blew a shot badly.  He tried to put English on the ball, but I guess he used Spanish instead.  Hitting the cue ball at a weird angle, the ball flew off the table and ricocheted against the wall.  In the process, his cue stick struck the felt surface.  It left a small nick to remember him by.  Deeply embarrassed, Rick apologized and told his mother it was time to leave.  I didn't argue.  I was thrilled to see them go.

Sad to say, that incident put a serious damper on our love affair.  I was so irritated by that awkward scene that I stopped knocking on Gloria's door.  To me, it was easier just to blow her off than it was to clear the air about the tension.  Due partly to a fear of losing my temper, but mostly due to lack of experience, I was not mature enough to handle conflict with women directly by talking about it.  Fortunately, several months later the night came when my desire for Gloria overcame my hesitation.  To my relief, Gloria let me in.  No mention was ever made of the incident.

1974-1977, the lost years

Alice in wonderland

The day would come when I owned the largest independent dance studio in America.  Looking back, it is easy to identify the major Stepping Stones along the way.  However, there is one Stepping Stone I missed completely.  I would have never imagined the day would come when I would look back and say that Gloria Robinson made it happen.

So what do I mean by "The Lost Years"?  The danger here is ruining the story by revealing too much.  Let's just say the Lost Years marked a period where I continued to stumble thanks to a series of bitter learning experiences.  As my saga continues, I will repeatedly point to my Epic Losing Streak as the main reason for my eventual success in life.  Kind of an odd thing to say, yes? 

The dominant theme during the Lost Years was the pursuit of the mythical girlfriend.  Why was finding a girlfriend so important?  I have Rachel to blame.  By landing a girlfriend equal to any St. John's girl, I received an enormous boost in self-esteem.  With Rachel beside me, I became the man I wanted to be.  With Rachel at my side, I was Somebody.  With Rachel gone, I was Nobody.  I figured finding the right girlfriend would solve all my problems by restoring my long-lost confidence. 

As Stepping Stones go, I have no trouble remembering Rachel.  Entering my Hall of Shame as Epic Victim #11, Rachel was a highlight during my Epic Losing Streak.  After Rachel, meeting women was no longer a problem.  By helping me realize the scars on my face were not holding me back nearly as much as I once thought, Rachel made me feel attractive enough to begin approaching women again.  Once I regained my voice and acquired a semblance of courage, the Lost Years were full of women who came and went.  However, none of them lasted for long, two or three weeks at most, some just one night.  I used my prickly personality as a form of birth control.  The moment something went wrong, I walked away.  Or sometimes she walked away.  Did I ever call to say I was sorry?  Of course not. 

Unbeknownst to me, Gloria was a major reason I stayed unattached for three years.  One of the curiosities of my life has been the impeccable timing of certain people who showed up with the regularity of revolving characters in a Charles Dickens novel.  Time after time I would be in bad shape and someone would come along to rescue me.  Gloria is a good example.  At a time when I was locked in a mental prison by the irrepressible Phobia, Gloria threw me a lifeline.  After Rachel left, Gloria assumed greater importance.  For three years she acted as my safety net.  Every time something went wrong with a girl my age, I could turn to Gloria and hit the Reset Button.  A critic might accuse me of exploiting Gloria except for the fact that she was perfectly content with our arrangement. 

During the three years I spent with Gloria, it never dawned on me our relationship might be playing a pivotal role in my life.  The value of hindsight is that once someone knows how their life story turns out, they can go back and retrace their steps.  I now realize Gloria's role in my life was so subtle I completely missed it at the time.  As we shall see, the Lost Years were being used to prepare me for my upcoming dance career.  However, I never had the slightest idea what lie ahead.  Considering how clumsy I was, my failure to have even a hint of anticipation was understandable.  All I knew was that strange things kept happening to reinforce my belief that God wanted me to continue this 'Leap of Faith' Dance Project.  Meanwhile God exercised a sense of humor at my expense.  God used my search for a girlfriend as bait to persuade me to continue dance lessons until I was ready. 

As one can guess, I firmly believe the Hidden Hand of God was responsible for these odd circumstances.  But that is the 'Older Rick' speaking.  The 'Younger Rick' was bewildered more often than not.  Keep in mind God has never formally discussed His plans with me.  Nevertheless it is fun to look at the facts and imagine what His purpose might have been.  For three years I participated in various dance classes under the assumption that God intended for me to use Dance to find the Love of my life.  After all, it was the Mistress Book that led me to dance class in the first place as a way to meet women.  And what exactly was God's little joke?  God gave me Gloria, a Mistress of my very own, then used her as a way to keep me from finding a girlfriend throughout the Lost Years.  haha.  Very funny.

Since the stated purpose of my Dance Project was to help me overcome Phobia and use dance as a way to find a girlfriend, I had every right to believe a special woman awaited at the end of the rainbow.  Irony of ironies, there was no woman waiting for me on the day I finally accomplished my goal of becoming a good dancer.  Good grief, it had taken me THREE YEARS to get this far!  So where's that woman God promised me?  I kept waiting for the much-anticipated girlfriend of my dreams to show up, but she never did.  As a result, my Lost Years became a comic parody of Alice in Wonderland. 

Alice is an unusually curious girl.  One day the White Rabbit crosses her path looking at his watch.  He complains about being late.  "Late for what?" Alice wonders.  "Let's find out!"

The next thing she knows, Alice is inspired to follow the White Rabbit down the hole and into Wonderland.  Only one problem.  That darn rabbit always stays one step ahead.  Lured forward by her curiosity, Alice follows the elusive rabbit even though she has no idea what the outcome of her chase will be.  She continues to pursue strictly on the belief that catching the Rabbit will give her great satisfaction. 

In my case, I continued dance lessons because I had been led to believe they would lead to the woman of my dreams.  And here is the funny thing... several times I came within inches of realizing that dream!  Each time I got close, my latest Miss Direction was snatched from my grasp at the last moment. 

After each disappointment, I would trudge back to Gloria's apartment for another round of Sexual Healing.  Afterwards I would resume the neverending search for my Rabbit.  What would have happened if I was allowed to keep one of my near misses?

 My Dance Project would have come to a grinding halt. 

Unable to hang onto the special women who showed interest in me, I would return to my dance lessons completely unaware the Epic Losing Streak was secretly laying the groundwork for my future success.  I kept a diary of sorts.  A review shows I met a grand total of three women in three years through dance lessons.  All three were short-lived.  Given the lack of results, why bother continuing?  Good question.  I stayed with lessons for three years specifically because I believed there was something spooky going on that had led to my Leap of Faith.  But let's be real.  I pursued my Dance Project based on a hunch, not on any kind of certainty.  It wasn't like angels visited in the night to remind me to practice my footwork.  I am pretty sure the presence of a warm-bodied companion would have redirected my focus.  For example, the Dance Project was put on hold for three weeks thanks to Rachel.  The same would hold true with other women.

Indeed, the Dance Project would have gone out the window the moment I finally caught my Rabbit.  My Dance Project was all about getting to First Base.  Once I found a permanent girlfriend, what need would I have for further practice in the Magic Mirror?  But I never caught that Rabbit, did I?  For this reason, I have a sneaky suspicion that this Alice in Wonderland situation was part of God's Plan.  He used it to keep me from actually catching one of the women I chased until it was time to begin my dance career. 

Yes, I admit this could all be nonsense, so feel free to discount my musings.  But what if I am right?  If my hunch is correct, I believe it was Gloria's role to play a unique part in this three year tragicomedy.  Gloria made it easier for me to walk away from girls my own age when things went wrong.  Let's see how this worked.  During the Lost Years, I would meet a woman who was initially attracted to me.  However, I would invariably sabotage things with my less than charming personality.  Not one relationship lasted more than month.  Most were over in two weeks, usually due to some stupid thing I said.  Rather than go back to apologize and offer to work through the disagreement, I would blow her off and go see Gloria instead.  I knew I had serious problems, but I was hoping to find some woman who would take me just as I am, warts and all.  Yeah, good luck with that.  Who could blame these women for heading for the Exit Door? 

How many of these women did I try to patch things up with?  Only one.  Gloria.  Okay, time for a little candor.  First-time lovers have arguments all the time.  Trust issues, commitment issues, sore spots.  How do they get past their disagreements?  I can only speak for men.  I know for a fact that during the break-up, men get lonely and, um, maybe a little horny.  So what happened the one time I had a disagreement with Gloria?  After a three month dry spell, my sex drive insisted I take steps to patch things up.  So I swallowed my pride and beat a humble path to Gloria's door. 

So why didn't my sex drive force me to patch things up with girls my own age?  Because I went to Gloria instead!  I was a deeply flawed young man.  I was riddled with insecurity.  My pride was so great I did not want to admit I was wrong to any girl my own age.  Gloria's presence allowed me to avoid facing the fact that I needed to exorcise my demons before any woman could get serious about me.  With Gloria acting as my pressure valve, I was able to avoid facing problems with girls my age.  Gloria allowed me to muddle through life with only two goals in mind... continue Dance Lessons and look for my next doomed relationship.

In a previous chapter I voiced the suspicion that Fate placed me at Gay Siberia as a way to keep me out of the arms of pretty girls.  There were several large apartment projects that catered to singles.  Clubhouse walls were plastered with activities perfect for meet and greet.  Volleyball worked with Rachel, so why not another girl at the sand volleyball court?  Saddled with my Rejection Phobia, I believe if I lived in the right place, even a lost soul like me could have struck up a conversation with a pretty girl.  Once I broke the ice, I would have been on my way.  Goodbye Dance Lessons.  Had I been placed in an apartment project teeming with single women, no doubt some pretty girl would have taken a chance on me despite my rough edges.  But that didn't happen, did it?  Instead, I was stuck in the Land without Heterosexual Women.  And yet even here in Gay Siberia, I somehow managed to run into the only woman in a three-mile radius who was still straight.  Not only that, Gloria took an instant shine to me.  Kind of odd, isn't it?  In fact, we might even say the entire scenario with Gloria was 'Weird', my favorite word.

Earlier I said meeting women was no longer a problem.  Let's add an *Asterisk* to that.  The Rejection Phobia was still in effect, but in a more subtle way.  Not often, but I would occasionally meet a woman who might be the next Rachel.  Did I pursue her?  No!  I would automatically shy away for fear of getting hurt again.  I only pursued girls I was unlikely to get attached to.  So, yes, meeting women was not a problem, but I made sure to stick to women I could walk away from with relative impunity. 

Here is another curious aspect.  Losing Rachel to the Rice professor had convinced me I would never hang on to the girl of my dreams until I developed a respectable career.  So why did I fail to take the hint?  I have never quite figured out why I was so apathetic.  Even though I hated my child neglect job, not once during the Lost Years did I take a step towards replacing my hope of becoming a therapist.  Nor did I entertain any thoughts of going back to college.  Instead I continued to drift.  Most people consciously prepare for their career.  Lawyers, doctors, engineers, accountants, athletes, you name it.  These people undergo rigorous training with a specific goal in mind.  Not me.  Not once did I lift a finger of my own accord to prepare for a dance career or any other career for that matter. 

Given that Rachel demonstrated the need for a career, was I really that stupid or was this a case of Cosmic Blindness?  During my college years, I discovered a gift for computer programming.  Keep in mind my computer salary would have been at least four times larger than teaching line dances.  Given my profound limitations... lack of dance ability, lack of outgoing personality, emotional problems... would I have had the guts to pursue a long-shot, low-paying career in dance if I had already begun a solid career as a programmer?  Maybe if I had known how things would turn out, yes, but realistically, no, out of the question.

I have often wondered why my Dance Career had to be an Accident.  What was the point of deceiving me?  What was the point of making me wander around lost for three years?  If God had given me dance ability, I could have used this skill to consider a career in dance.  That is how it works for most people.  They discover a certain talent, then work towards developing it.  So why make me go backwards? 

If asked to guess, I believe it is my Destiny to write this book.  Considering my stated purpose has been to demonstrate the existence of Fate, what better way to prove my point than to make this story so improbable that it stretches credulity to the limit.  The best way to emphasize the absurdity of my eventual success would be to mark me as an extremely doubtful candidate.  So rather than have me pursue a career the right way, let's make Rick go backwards instead.  In order to pursue my 'Accidental' career as a dance teacher, first I had to learn how to dance WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT WAS GOING ON. 

Considering a good woman or a good job would have derailed the Dance Project, that meant no permanent girlfriend.  That also meant no competing career.  Instead for three years I put all my eggs in one basket... dance lessons... even though I was aware the entire time that these lessons were doing a poor job of helping me find the mythical girlfriend.  Given the futility of my endless Alice in Wonderland search, we begin to see how my Epic Losing Streak advanced a career I did not know I had.

I have no proof my relationship with Gloria was a situation born of Destiny.  However, in hindsight I can see the role Gloria played was so unique I have no choice but to raise an eyebrow.  Gloria allowed me to be patient and wait for the girl of my dreams... a girl who never appeared.  Yes, there were tantalizing women along the way, Rachel for example.  But the Rachels of the world never stuck around.  In a sense, I was Alice in Wonderland chasing my White Rabbit through one romantic misadventure after another.   As long as I did not catch my rabbit... the long-awaited girlfriend... I had no reason to abandon my rather pointless Dance Project.  

Keep in mind the easiest way to deal with a Phobia is to avoid the problem.  Terrified of getting hurt again, Gloria allowed me to take the easy way out.  Since the necessity to conduct an all-out search was missing, I settled for Gloria and plodded along.  Our nocturnal pleasures helped keep me out of the arms of girls my own age for three long years while the Dance Project continued uninterrupted. 

One day Gloria disappeared.  This took place right about the time I became a competent dancer.  To my astonishment, the moment I finally learned to dance well, Gloria was gone and the long-awaited girl had still failed to show up.  Nor was there a competing career already in place.  And so, on the day the Dance Career knocked on my door, I was free of attachments.  This allowed me to follow my heart despite the low odds of success.

My, my, how convenient.  Within the context of my unusual story, Gloria filled her niche to perfection.

THE LOST YEARS

Suspicious