Monday, march 3, 1975, Age 25, the lost years rick makes a phone call

Walking back to my office, the moment I closed my door marked the symbolic end to my involvement with the Gay World.  I had the strangest feeling that I deserved Manimal as punishment for procrastinating my obvious next step.  I should have taken the hint when Lucy and Jill recommended it was time for me to move on.  It reminded me of Rachel and my attempt to outwit Fate.  Every time I resisted, the Universe persisted. 

Despite the sad events of the weekend, I was in an optimistic mood.  To me, it was nothing short of amazing how the Dance Project had restored my feelings of attractiveness.  I was definitely much healthier thanks to all the dancing.  Not only did I like myself again, my Rejection Phobia seemed more subdued than usual.  But it was still there, just not quite so virulent.

I definitely did not want to stop dancing, not after all the work I had put in and the good results.  But the Farmhouse was gone, so what should I do next?  Celeste had made a point to hand me her phone number, maybe she was part of the plan, my next Stepping Stone so to speak.  On a whim, I picked up the phone and called Celeste to ask her to go dancing with me. 

Celeste did not hesitate.  "Oh sure, Rick!  I love to dance.  This sounds exciting!"

I got directions to her apartment and that was that.  I smiled.  Asking Celeste out had been ridiculously easy.  In fact, the phone call played out just like one of my Magic Mirror fantasies.  Noting how my dream had come true, another one of those eerie feelings came over me.  On the spot I had one of those 'Life is but a dream and we are just the actors' kind of moments. 

Was I acting out some sort of Destiny?  It sure felt that way.  But how would I know?  It isn't like the Universe rings a little bell every time I make an accurate guess.  However, there could be no denying the events of the last few months were unusual to say the least.  The combination of all the moving parts had worked together to turn me into an excellent dancer despite initial long odds.  Now Manimal had arrived at the perfect time to announce it was time for the next chapter. 

Thursday, march 6, 1975, the lost years second office club

It was Thursday, March 6.  I was excited as I drove to Celeste's apartment.  The time had come to see if I could finally use the dance floor as my Stage.  That had been the original plan all along.  I took Celeste to the Second Office Club, a dance club a mile from Rice.  I had visited this place twice before on scouting missions.  However, it had been a waste of time because I lacked the courage to ask a girl to dance.  Instead I just sat there and watched.  The thing that bothered me is I could tell the men weren't any better than I was.  But I could not break the bonds of my Rejection fear.

Things were different now.  The moment I ventured onto the dance floor, I felt right at home.  Only five days had passed since the traumatic evening with Mark and Manimal, but the Farmhouse barely entered my mind.  My days as Stranger in a Strange Land were over.  Other than Manimal, I had enjoyed my visit to a different culture.  That said, it felt good to be back in my familiar world.

Celeste and I had a great time.  I don't think we left the dance floor once.  My night at the Second Office Club was a sweet reward for all the hard knocks I had taken during the Dance Project.  Celeste was officially the first girl my age to view my newfound dance skills.  To my relief, she was all smiles.  In fact, Celeste said I was the best dancer she had ever dated.  That was exactly what I wanted to hear.  Most of the Phobia was gone, maybe all of it.  Now that I had my confidence back, I was no longer afraid to have a pretty girl watch me dance. 

I made an interesting discovery.  Back at the Farmhouse, I had become an above-average dancer.  But there were plenty of men at the Farmhouse who were way ahead of me.  They were unbelievable dancers who possessed the same natural ability as Disco Dave.  I was no match for those guys.  It was like 'height' in basketball.  You either have it or you don't.  Although constant practice can take a person pretty far, I lacked the natural talent to be the best.

Things were much different at the Second Office Club.  Now that I was back in my own world, I had no peer.  Compared to these clumsy, rhythmically-challenged straight guys, I was a whirling dervish.  When Celeste said I was the best male dancer she had ever met, I just smiled.

I hit the initial stage of a long descent to Rock Bottom in November 1973.  It had taken me 16 painful months to push my Rock of Sisyphus all the way back up the mountain.  Tonight I reached the Pinnacle.  With the misery of Colorado State finally behind me, I was certain my new dance skills would play a major role in my future.  Tonight I put Vanessa's evil spell to rest.  She had done me a serious favor by choosing Kenny over me.  I was grateful to be done with that unfaithful wretch.

Following my triumphant night of dancing at the Second Office Club, I suffered a serious let-down in regards to the Dance Project.  The Magic Mirror no longer interested me.  Making matters worse, two weeks after Celeste and I started dating, Disco Dave failed to appear for his dance class.  It was Saturday, March 15.  I showed up at Dance City only to find Disco Dave was gone.  After making inquiries, I learned David had abruptly moved to San Antonio to be with his new boyfriend.

Poof, just like that, my Saturday morning Freestyle class was gone.  My Dance Project hit a total dead end.  Oh well, too bad, I didn't really care.  Without Juicy and Lucy, dancing did not interest me at the moment.  Besides, after eight solid months of non-stop dancing, I was ready for a break.  Please don't misunderstand.  I still felt like Fate was looking over my shoulder.  However, my interpretation of Dave's departure was similar to the Manimal attack.  Manimal told me my Gay Days were over.  Dave told me the Dance Project was over. 

Ever since the Mistress Book had mysteriously appeared to guide me to dance lessons, I had been chasing a Mythical Woman known as 'Miss Direction'.  This, of course, is a play on words.  It is my theory that God disguised my eventual destination by distracting me with women who stayed one step out of reach.  I thought the point of the Dance Project was to help me cure my Phobia, recover my sense of attractiveness and find a girlfriend.  Although I was sorry to lose David's dance class, I would be okay.  As far as I was concerned, Mission Accomplished. 

Consequently my conscience did not bother me in the least when I quit dancing.  I assumed I had done what God wanted and I would be guided to my next adventure.  And so my beloved Dance Project stalled out.  To be honest, there was no mourning.  It was fun, but now it's done.  I did not want to visit a nightclub, I had no interest in the Magic Mirror, the River Oaks Seven were gone and so was Disco Dave.  I had my dance skills under my belt, my nervous breakdown was over, I had a girlfriend, and I had my confidence back.  If things didn't work out with Celeste, I figured my dancing was good enough to find my next girlfriend.  I had accomplished my goal.  Time to move on. 

Readers may recall how I compared my Epic Losing Streak to Alice in Wonderland.  While Alice chased the White Rabbit, I chased the Mythical Miss Direction.  The whole point of the Dance Project was to get a girlfriend.  Now that I had Celeste, I had no further need for dancing.  The point of dancing was to get to First Base.  With Celeste on Second Base, what did I need dancing for?  I assumed I had fulfilled my original promise to God, so the journey was over. 

Or so I thought.  After all, I was destined to run a dance studio someday, but so far no one had bothered to tell me.  In order to fulfill my Destiny, the Dance Project could not end here.  My next inspiration came from my current Miss Direction, none other than Celeste herself.

For one thing, physically speaking we did not match.  Celeste was a short, somewhat pudgy brunette with an average figure.  I would have overlooked our mismatch except for one thing.  Celeste never stopped talking.  Yap yap yap.  Half the time I could not understand what point she was trying to make. 

Seriously, Celeste baffled me at every turn.  Considering my long dry spell with women, one would think I would have been more than willing to overlook my reservations about Celeste.  Unfortunately, no matter how much I tried, I was unable to develop any particular fondness for her.  To begin with, sex was an afterthought for Celeste.  I could not believe Celeste carried on a conversation while we made love.  Will you shut up already?

Celeste reminded me of an old Rodney Dangerfield joke. 

"My girlfriend loves to talk to me while she has sex.  Just the other day, she called me at home.  I could hear some guy moaning while we gossiped."

April 1975, the lost years CELESTE has a suggestion

It was early April.  I thought Celeste and I were done, but the Universe had another trick up its sleeve.  Celeste was chosen to push me back onto the Dance Path.  How did I ever get so lucky?  A few weeks had passed since we broke up.  To my surprise, one evening Celeste pulled me over after our intramural volleyball game.  Celeste had noticed an advertisement in the morning paper.  The ad said two people could take four half-hour Introductory Ballroom lessons for $5 a person.  Celeste wanted me to take these Ballroom dance lessons with her.  The lessons were offered at a franchise Ballroom studio in River Oaks.  As she made her pitch, the current Miss Direction claimed I was the only man she had ever met who showed an interest in dancing. 

"Rick, it takes two to Tango and I am all alone.  You are such a great freestyle dancer.  Here is your chance to be a great Ballroom dancer too."

I despised this idea.  Ballroom dancing did not interest me.  To begin with, I hated the music.  I recalled briefly watching a few Lawrence Welk TV shows while channel flipping as a kid.  Featuring his signature Champagne sound, Lawrence Welk's Ballroom music was pure schmaltz.  Yuck.  Besides that, I had watched the Ballroom dance instructors at Dance City on several occasions.  Ballroom dancing looked very complicated.  Forget it. 

"You know what, Celeste?  Thanks for asking, but I'm just not interested."

Celeste ignored my hesitation.  First she reminded me my Saturday lessons with Disco Dave had ended and worked that to her advantage.  Then she hit me with her punch line. 

"Rick, I know how much you like to dance.  You are such a great dancer!  Now that your Disco class is over, don't you want to learn more about dancing?  Besides, don't you want me in your arms again?  You can fly me to the moon!"

Fly Celeste to the moon?  I would rather have a root canal.  Damn it!  I never should have told Celeste about the Sinatra story that lured me to dance lessons in the first place.  There was great irony at work here.   That story had created my expectation that Dance Lessons would put a woman in my arms.  Unfortunately, Freestyle dancing did not offer such magic.  I was still irritated that I signed up under the false impression that I would learn partner dancing.  Now Celeste was using my own BS to sell me on Ballroom lessons.  Just shoot me.

"I don't know, Celeste, I've seen Ballroom dancing and it looks really difficult."

"Oh, don't be silly.  Surely your Disco skills will transfer over to Ballroom." 

I wasn't so sure about that.  Yes, I knew how to Freestyle and I had learned several Disco line dances during my time at the Farmhouse.  However, I also remembered the eight-month marathon I had undergone before finally getting the hang of it.  Would I face similar difficulties with Ballroom dancing?  I never wanted to go through that nightmare again.  Not only that, ever since Celeste started needling me at volleyball, I could barely stand the woman.  Nor was I keen on wearing a coat and tie.  Way too formal for me.

However, Celeste was right about one thing.  Freestyle and Line Dancing had proven useless at putting a woman in my arms.  The Mistress Book had pointed this out.

"If a man has the sense to learn to dance, there is no simpler way to meet a girl.  I suggest Ballroom dancing.  This is the fastest legal way on earth to get a woman you don't know to willingly place herself in your arms.  Whisper 'cha-cha-cha' and watch her get excited."

The fastest way on earth to get a girl in my arms.  Hmm.  That was quite a selling point.  I recalled how badly I had wanted to find a polite way to get Mariah in my arms only to realize that Freestyle dancing would not work. 

Maybe I should give partner dancing a try.  However, my heart was not in it.  That is when a little voice reminded me of my mystical vow to keep dancing no matter what.  I groaned.  C'mon, guys, any kind of dancing but Ballroom!!  Unfortunately, it was no use arguing with the Universe.  Once my Leap of Faith conscience kicked in, I had no choice.  A vow is a vow.  I resisted for a while longer, but finally gave in.  It was time to see what Ballroom dancing would do for my love life.  And so three magic words, 'cha cha cha', replaced 'step ball change'.  Life is for Learning.

Monday, April 7, 1975, the lost years the first lesson

On the first Monday in April, Celeste and I began our four lesson package at Phoney Baloney Dance Studio.  No, that wasn't the real name, but I prefer not to get sued. 

I was uncomfortable from the moment we entered.  I tried to have an open mind, but this new place gave me the creeps.  Phoney Baloney reminded me of the bad vibes the Gay Gauntlet had given me on my first day at Dance City.  The Baloney instructors were carbon copies of the Gay Gauntlet.  Well-dressed and perfectly groomed, I assumed the Baloney instructors were all gay.  It did not help when Celeste took one look at my blue jeans and sniffed. 

"Darn it, Rick, I told you how to dress.  Why couldn't you do better?" 

As Omens go, that said it all.  Celeste of course had dressed appropriately.  She fit in nicely with her pretty floral-print dress, high heels and hair tied back.  And then there was me.  Recalling my Dance Class from Hell last year, at least I wasn't Paul Bunyan this time.  Nevertheless, based on stares of scorn at Phoney Baloney, I should have taken Celeste's advice and worn khaki pants.  Some people never learn.

After the receptionist took our $10, she explained our first half-hour lesson would consist of one move to 3 different dances - Foxtrot, Tango, and Cha Cha.  I pointed out the ad said 4 dances.  The receptionist smiled and explained we skipped one dance each week.  Since the lesson ran 30 minutes, this would allow us to concentrate on three different dances for ten minutes apiece.

While I stood there wondering how much Cha Cha could be learned in ten minutes, Celeste had concerns of her own.  Celeste was upset that Waltz would not be included in the first lesson.  The receptionist suggested that Celeste persuade the instructor to change the order.  That was my first clue that Waltz was important to women.  I should have paid better attention.  Waltz would cause me terrible headaches in these lessons.

Next we were introduced to Henry, our dance instructor.  Henry was close to my age, but the resemblance stopped there.  It was Mutt and Jeff from the start. Although Henry and I were the same height, he was not exactly a Macho Man.  Henry was a nervous string bean who probably needed help opening a Pepsi.  Unlike me, Henry was perfectly groomed.  Indeed, the impeccably-dressed Henry reminded me of the Gay Gauntlet at Dance City.  Suffice it to say Henry and I did not hit it off.  He took one look at my blue jeans and sniffed with disapproval.  Nor did he offer to shake my hand.  Insulted by Henry's disdain, I bristled with hostility.  This was my second bad omen. 

Noting that Henry resembled the Baloney instructors at Dance City, I assumed he was gay.  However, I was wrong about that.  Henry showed an immediate interest in Celeste that went well beyond the expected teacher-student relationship.  I might add that Celeste appeared to reciprocate.  I had no idea what was going on here.  This was my third bad omen.  I had a bad feeling about these Ballroom lessons.

There are dogs who growl at strangers for no obvious reason.  That is how I felt about Henry from the moment we met.  My irritation grew when I noticed Celeste respond to Henry's interest.  Based on eye contact and smiles, there were unmistakable sparks.  In fact, throughout the lesson it looked to me like Henry was making a move on my one-time girlfriend. 

I am not quite sure how to explain this.  Let's start by admitting Henry's aggressiveness really bothered me.  But it was not exactly jealousy.  It was more like disrespect.  Celeste and I had stopped dating weeks ago, but there was no way Henry would know this.  So where did he get the nerve to move on a woman in front of her partner without knowing their status?  For this reason, I briefly entertained the thought that maybe they already knew each other.  However, I dismissed the idea as unlikely.  Why wouldn't Celeste just tell me if that was the case?

I was reminded of the time Disco Dave propositioned me nine months ago.  Perhaps all dance teachers felt they had the right to hit on attractive students.  Oh well, look on the bright side.  At least I wouldn't be propositioned.  One glance at Henry gazing into Celeste's eyes told me I was safe.  Indeed, Henry was totally indifferent to me.  Change that... I think Henry disliked me as much as I disliked him.  However I could not imagine why.  So far we had not even spoken. 

Henry started with Tango.  Without warning, Henry pulled Celeste right up against his body to demonstrate a Tango pattern.  I was astonished at how close they were as they moved.  I also noticed that Celeste did not object to his intimate contact.  In fact, she smiled.  I also noticed Celeste seemed to know what to do without any instruction.  My instinct said something was wrong, but due to my lack of knowledge about Ballroom I could not identify my misgiving. 

After Henry danced with Celeste for five of my precious ten minutes, Henry showed me how to hold Celeste.  Then he demonstrated the man's footwork on the Tango Basic.  Slow-Slow, Tang-o Close.  After I repeated the footwork on my own, Henry put on some music and off we went.  I did poorly.  The footwork was easy, but I freaked out at having Celeste's body pressed right up against mine.  I also disliked the weird accordion music.  However the place where I completely fell apart was the art of Leading.  With no idea how to guide Celeste, I lost my balance trying.  After repeated stumbles, I turned red with shame when Celeste frowned. 

Tango was difficult!  I struggled mightily with this dance.  Less than a minute after we started, Henry took the needle off the record player.  I was glad he did.  In fact, I was so frustrated I was ready to leave.  Celeste would not even look at me.  Her disappointment made me feel extremely tense.  Her frown reminded me of the dirty looks I used to get from the River Oaks Seven.  Oh please, let's not go through that again.  I did not understand why Celeste was so impatient.  I had already told her I was not a fast learner.  When it involved learning to dance, I warned her nothing came easy.  Making matters worse, I lacked the commitment to fight through my Ballroom ineptness like I had with Freestyle.  I did not like the dancing and I definitely did not like the music.  I did not like Henry and I no longer liked Celeste.  Now that I had seen how awful I was, there was no way I would dream of using Ballroom dancing as a way to meet a woman.  Besides, when would I ever hear music like this in a Disco? 

Celeste's disapproval really got under my skin.  Upset, I whispered to Celeste, "This is a waste of time.  I don't think this is something I want to do.  Why bother staying?  I want to go now." 

"Absolutely not.  I am enjoying my lesson.  Stick it out.  You made a promise."

Henry did not overhear me, but he could sense my bad attitude.  My miserable Tango effort was all he needed to pass judgment.  His expression was something halfway between pity and scorn.  When I saw that look on his face, I bristled.  Sure enough, after seeing me struggle with Tango, Henry gave up on me.  Apparently Henry had decided I wasn't worth his effort.  Bad move, Henry.  No matter how poorly I danced, there was no reason whatsoever to be rude about it.  For fear of losing my temper, I retreated into sullen silence just I had during my Dance Class from Hell nine months earlier.  Seeing Henry fawn all over Celeste, I refused to dance again during the remaining 20 minutes.  I just stood there and watched.  Celeste did not care and neither did Henry.  My sullenness suited Henry just fine.  My apathy allowed Henry to channel his energy into sweeping Celeste off her feet.  Despite my growing irritation, I had to admit their dancing really clicked.  Celeste glided effortlessly across the floor in Henry's arms while I watched in consternation.  It seemed like Henry led several patterns that he had not shown Celeste.  Now I was really confused.  How did Celeste learn those moves so fast?

The receptionist definitely had her math right.  In 30 minutes, Celeste and I did 10 minutes of Tango.  After I ceased to exist, Henry and Celeste did 10 minutes of Foxtrot followed by 10 minutes of Waltz at Celeste's special request.  At 29 minutes and 59 seconds, Henry looked at his watch and the lesson concluded.  How much had I learned?  Nothing.  I did not understand the rhythm, I had no idea how to lead, the footwork was a blur.  I disliked the music intensely.  Nor could I tell Waltz music from Foxtrot music.  Henry was rude and Celeste was contemptuous.  I was also bitter to see Phobia return to life.  Celeste had activated my fear of looking clumsy in front of an attractive women while dancing.  Along with the facial scars, this was the most sensitive nerve in my being.  To me, it felt like Celeste had picked up right where the River Oaks Seven left off.  I had just spent the past eight months trying to overcome my fear of women laughing at my dancing only to have Celeste rip the wound wide open.

We had come in separate cars.  To be a gentleman, I walked Celeste to her car.  As usual, Celeste would not shut up.  Celeste acted like a prima donna.  This class was all about her.  I had just gone through a miserable experience, but Celeste was oblivious to my discomfort.  I could not believe I had actually met someone who was more self-absorbed than me.  I would never treat someone the way she had treated me.  Why was I even doing this?  I didn't even like Celeste.  Well, no matter, I was finished.  No more Ballroom dancing for me.  Meanwhile Celeste babbled about how great the lesson was and how much she had learned from Henry.  Ballroom dancing was so much fun!!  Celeste was happy happy happy while I was sick with disgust.

"Isn't Henry wonderful??"    

I wanted to say something ugly, but bit my tongue.  When we reached her car, Celeste turned to look at me.  "Rick, answer me a question.  How can you be so good at Disco and so bad at Tango?"

I was speechless.  Celeste was right, of course, but was it necessary to point it out? 

"You know what, Celeste?  I've been wondering the same thing.  For one thing, I can't stand the music.  I don't like the dancing either.  Ballroom just isn't my cup of tea."

"You aren't thinking of quitting, are you?  Rick, you promised to do this with me."

My heart sank.  Considering my mediocrity, why would Celeste would expect me to continue?  But I could see she was serious.   Sure enough, Celeste made me promise I would return for our second lesson the following week.  As I walked to my car, I was disgusted beyond belief.  This was not an activity I wanted to continue.  But Guilt was a very effective way to manipulate me.  Like it or not, I had given my word.  Thanks to my Code of Honor... plus my secret vow to follow the Dance Path... I would return the following week. 

Monday, April 14, 1975, the lost years the second lesson

When I got home, I hoped I could overcome my jitters and sort this Ballroom stuff out.  I tried my Tango footwork in the mirror, but it was useless.  My beloved Magic Mirror could not save me this time.  Partner dancing required a moving partner. 

For our second lesson, Celeste and I again came in separate cars.  It was raining, so I placed my umbrella in a box at the door.  To my surprise, Henry and Celeste were already on the floor together.  I had no idea what dance they were doing, but they looked good.  Celeste was happy happy happy.   I had a hunch Celeste had come early on purpose.  Henry wasn't operating solo here.  He was getting encouragement from Celeste.  Maybe that was Foxtrot they were dancing.  No, the music sounded more like a Waltz.  Whatever it was, Celeste liked it.  She was laughing her head off.  

As I watched Celeste flirt with Henry, I was more confused than upset.  Celeste clearly had no use for me.  Celeste was the only woman I had dated since my failure with Rachel five months ago.  Due to our inability to connect as lovers, I wasn't jealous of Celeste.  However I was mystified.  Since Celeste acted as if I didn't exist, why did she insist I come tonight?  Henry would be more than happy to see me gone.  And why was she so indiscreet?  If she wanted to chase Henry, fine, but why make me watch?  There was no reason for Celeste to rub my nose in it.  Slip Henry her phone number when I wasn't looking, release me from my obligation and be done with it. 

When the song ended, Celeste came bouncing over to greet me with a big hug.  I was taken off guard by this sudden display of energy.  Feeling the hug last longer and tighter than necessary, alarm bells went off.  What was this all about?  Make up your mind, woman!  Who do you want, me or him?  Henry noticed too as he reluctantly tagged behind.  Henry frowned and crossed his arms during Celeste's big show of affection.  If I didn't know any better, Henry saw me as a rival.  Good grief.  Now I was really confused.  Was Celeste trying to make me jealous of Henry?  Or was Celeste trying to make Henry jealous of me?  What was this woman's game? 

Mark had taught me to confront girlfriends when suspicious.  However, Celeste and I were not dating anymore, so I was unsure how to proceed.  In retrospect, I wish I had followed Mark's advice, but I was very afraid of confrontation with this overly-chirpy woman.  For reasons I did not understand, I let Celeste insult me in countless small ways.   I told myself these classes would end soon, so why bother saying anything?  That was a very poor decision.  Instead I let Celeste push me around and let strong dislike become hate.

In Hindsight, I understand what went wrong.  Both my parents were passive, non-confrontational people.  Furthermore, having skipped ten years of dating thanks to the Epic Losing Streak, women like Vanessa, Yolanda and Celeste had an easy time pushing me around because my social age was 15, not 25.  I would eventually learn to stand up for myself, but at this point in time I was unsure how to put Celeste in her place.  Forced to take my lumps, I underwent a painful learning experience.  Like I keep saying, there are times when your worst enemy becomes your best teacher.  Celeste was definitely taking me to school.

At her request, Henry started Week Two with Waltz.  Playing the same music as when I walked in, I realized Henry and Celeste had been Waltzing when I arrived.  I had skipped Waltz last week, but this time I gave it a try.  I was awful.  I could not get the hang of the Waltz rise and fall or the long-short-short footwork.  The second lesson was a repeat of our previous visit.  I was terrible, Henry didn't bother to hide his disgust and Celeste openly criticized my inadequacy.  Celeste kept telling me what I was doing wrong, infuriating me in the process.  A little patience and a word of sympathy would have made all the difference.  I was boiling mad inside and fighting a real battle against losing my temper.  Indeed, I was so rattled that I nearly amputated one of Celeste's feet doing the Tango.  Celeste screamed bloody murder when I stepped hard on her foot.  I cringed as Celeste really let me have it. 

"Damn it, Rick, that really hurts!  You nearly took my foot off!  I'm not sure if I can even walk, much less dance.  Henry told you to slide your feet to the Tango, but obviously you didn't listen."

"I'm sorry, Celeste, but I lost my balance."

"Well, if you would pay better attention to Henry, that would not happen."

Celeste's sharp words cut like a knife.  I have never handled negative criticism well and her anger backed me into a corner.  I had not felt this humiliated since the days of Fujimoto.  My only solution was to retreat into sullen silence for the second week in a row.  Henry stared at me with contempt.  Clearly I did not have enough dance ability for him to bother with.  Cast not thy pearls to swine.  Now that I had ceased to exist, I watched in mute silence as Henry spent his remaining time flirting with Celeste.  Henry clearly needed to learn some manners.  He was lucky I didn't simply deck him.  If the girl had been Rachel, a woman I had cared about, I would have impaled the Human Beanpole with the umbrella I had brought.  But since it was Celeste, I settled for trying to understand what could account for her strange behavior.  As Celeste giggled and preened, I thought it was rude for her to behave so shamelessly in front of me.  I still wondered if she was trying to make me jealous.  If so, it wasn't working.  Henry could have her.  Hey, Henry, guess what?  I will trade you mating rights to Celeste for permission to leave.  I was pretty fed up.  Why was I here?  I couldn't dance a lick, Henry was a jerk and Celeste was weird.  Thankfully the half-hour ended.  Without saying a word, I turned and left.  To heck with guilt and my Code of Honor.  I wasn't coming back next week for all the tea in China.  

Monday, April 21, 1975, the lost years the THIRD lesson

I told myself I wasn't coming back for Week Three... but I did anyway.  Celeste read my mind.  She could tell I was planning to skip the next lesson, so the following week she phoned to insist I return.  What is with this girl?  I said there was no way in hell I was returning.  That's when Celeste did something underhanded and used the only two words in the English language that would persuade me to change my mind.

"But Rick, you promised!" 

I hate that woman!!  Damn her anyway.  Life would be so much easier without a conscience.  Then Celeste threw me another curve... she told me she would pick me up.  I felt suspicious. 

"Celeste, it is not necessary for you to pick me up.  I give you my word I will be there."

Celeste would not take no for answer, so I yielded.  If it was that important to her, I would cooperate.  The third week was an instant replay of the first two.  Henry gave me the least amount of attention necessary.  He showed me the moves, then played the music.  I did poorly, Celeste made fun of me, I seethed but said nothing.  This lesson is only 30 minutes long, so let's just get it over with. 

To my surprise, I did well at Cha Cha.  This dance was much easier plus I liked the music.  I didn't care for saccharine Foxtrot and Waltz music, but I liked the energetic Latin music because it was similar to Disco.

This week I insisted on dancing with Celeste all three times... Foxtrot, Waltz, Cha Cha.  Yes, I stumbled.  Yes, I was terrible.  But I did it anyway.  Why?  Taking a page out of my River Oaks Seven playbook, I did it strictly as a way to irritate both Celeste and Henry.  If I couldn't have fun, then why should they?  The more I danced with Celeste, the less they could play their stupid games together.  Celeste was quite surprised by my assertiveness.  This was the first time I had actually stood up for myself.  Celeste frowned, but cooperated.  It was obvious she preferred dancing with Henry.  Nor did I blame her.  Hey, the guy was an excellent dancer.  Which of course is why I continued to wonder why Celeste was so insistent I participate in these lessons.  Why not come by herself? 

As for my ten minutes of Foxtrot and ten minutes of Waltz, for a change I did not cripple the woman.  With an eye to the clock, the moment the Waltz ended, I assumed the ordeal was over and I was free to go.  Promise or no promise, I wasn't coming back for the Fourth Lesson.  I intended to tell Celeste at the end of class.  At the 30 minute mark I told Celeste it was time to leave, but she replied, "No, not yet!"   I was startled by the sharpness in her voice.   Who does she think she is to talk to me like that?  Since Celeste had driven us here, unless I wanted to walk home I had little choice but to comply.  Did Celeste know something that I didn't?

That is when Henry caught me totally off guard with a strange twist.  Henry pulled out two Report Cards.  After penciling in a letter grade for each dance we learned, Henry handed them to us, one for me, one for Celeste.  I stared at my Report Card in open-mouthed shock.  I could not believe Henry had the nerve to grade me on a dance class!  What planet did Henry beam down from?  Probably the same solar system Celeste came from.  I got hold of my temper long enough to look at my Report Card and frown. 

To his credit, Henry was at least honest.  I got a C in Foxtrot, a C+ in Cha-Cha, a C- in Waltz, and a D in Tango.  I began to seethe.  This was beyond absurd.

Meanwhile Celeste had gotten straight A's.  No surprise there; she deserved it.  Celeste yelped with glee and gave Henry a big hug of gratitude.  Ah, teacher's pet.  Henry beamed in response.  He was clearly smitten with his star pupil.  Celeste asked him for a celebratory Waltz and Henry obliged.  While they danced around the floor to music, I noticed this extracurricular activity was taking place beyond our allotted 30 minutes.  Based on Celeste's firm intention to stick around, I became even more suspicious.

For lack of anything else to do, I stared darkly at my latest 'D'.  Based on my Colorado State debacle, Henry's 'D' re-opened a bitter wound.  His report card stunt really upset me.  Although I accepted I was as bad as my grades suggested, I did not see the purpose.  I was not a businessman, but I had enough common sense to know that insulting the client is no way to do business.  What possible motive could Henry have to grade me so candidly?  Okay, I was bad, yes, but why tell it to my face?  I thought teachers were supposed to encourage their students, not put them down.  Furthermore, was it asking too much for Henry to act like a professional?  I did not blame the mysterious sexual overtones between Henry and Celeste for my downfall, but it definitely soured the experience.

Not one thing about Phoney Baloney, Henry or Celeste made a bit of sense to me.  I hated Ballroom dancing, I hated the music and I hated the pretentious air of superiority.  Most of all, I felt insulted.  This report card nonsense was a bad idea.  Would it be asking too much to allow me to maintain my dignity?  In addition, I hated my inadequacy.  I was angry because self-doubt about my lack of dancing ability had come flooding back in.  Why did I do so poorly?  I could tell my tendency to over-analyze my footwork had returned.  But most of all, I attributed my downfall to Celeste's criticism.  I could have used some support, but all I got from her was withering disapproval.  I hated being shamed and I was angry at myself for not having the guts to tell her to knock it off.  Bewildered by my continued passivity, why did I let her push me around? 

In addition to being upset over my poor performance, I was also irritated by my inability to figure what the heck was going on between Celeste and Henry.  There was a definite mystery at hand, but I was at a complete loss to explain it.  I decided that during our drive home, it was time to begin asking questions.

After Celeste returned from her victory Waltz, I said I wanted to leave now.  To my surprise, Celeste ignored me.  She replied, "Let's wait a moment longer," then changed the subject before I could protest.  Feeling the desire to exult, Celeste began talking to me about her dance prowess.  I could feel my anger rise when the woman would not shut up about her straight-A Report Card. 

"Aren't you proud of me, Rick?  Straight A's!!  Whoopee!"

Proud of her?  I wanted to strangle her!  What possessed Celeste to brag like that?  I guess Celeste thought she was being cute and funny.  But she wasn't cute and funny, was she?   Celeste was rude.  Celeste was arrogant.  Celeste was a pain in the ass.

As usual I said nothing.  I just let her walk on me.  Huge mistake.  Celeste's unnecessary braggadocio hurt my feelings.  I had not yet learned how to stand up for myself, especially around women my age.  By laughing at me, Celeste's teasing touched on that raw Phobia nerve again and again.  I could not believe this was the same woman who had once complimented me on my Freestyle dancing.  It stung to have her openly ridicule me.  Just when I thought I was rid of the River Oaks Seven, Celeste had taken their place.  Not just that.  Her attack felt very personal. 

"Okay, Celeste, congratulations on your good grades.  You deserved it.  You are a great dancer.  Can we go now?" 

I pointed to the Exit Door.  However, there was one problem... Celeste refused to leave.

"Oh, Rick, not yet.  I think Henry wants to speak to us about something."

Uh oh.  I sensed a trap.

THE INVISIBLE MAN

While Celeste continued to stall, I had time to review my suspicion.  There was something about the Report Card that bothered me.  I could not figure out why Henry had graded us in the Third Week.  Why not wait till our fourth and final lesson?   Obviously something was up.  Even more aggravating, Celeste's reluctance to leave suggested she was in on it.  I watched carefully as the receptionist came up to Henry and whispered to him.  Henry turned and asked if we would follow him to the back.  When Henry told us Derek the Dance Director wanted to see us, my eyes grew wide.  Derek the Dance Director?  What is going on here?  I had a hunch a sales pitch was coming and I was not happy about it.  That was a clever move to hit me in the Third Week.  I felt out-witted.  I was also fed up.  I looked at Celeste and said, "It's time to go.  We can see the Dance Director next week after our final lesson."

A look of horror swept across Henry's face.  When Celeste saw Henry's fear, she shook her head in disagreement. "No, Rick, let's go ahead and see what this is about."

I just stood there.  I was beyond incredulous that Celeste was insisting I do this.  Celeste had contradicted my desire to leave four times.  Celeste's will or Rick's will?  Which was it going to be?  Celeste got her way.  So why did I decide to cooperate?  After all, I was under no obligation to stay.  Nor did it matter that we had come in her car.  Phoney Baloney Dance Studio was only a half hour walk from home.  I stayed because I was curious.  There was a real mystery in the air and I was darkly fascinated to figure out what was going on between Henry and Celeste.  Nothing about Celeste's behavior made sense to me.  For example, just now I could have sworn Celeste had taken her cue from Henry on visiting the Dance Director.  Were they in cahoots?  It certainly seemed that way.  Celeste seemed to know ahead of time that something was scheduled to happen tonight. 

For this reason, I assumed I was walking into a trap.  So why not just leave?  Like I said, the mystery amused me in a morbid sort of way.  I supposed it also helped that I was a big guy.  I had not been in a fight since high school, but I had taken enough karate lessons to know I could hold my own.  In other words, whenever I decided to leave, I would leave.  But first I was intrigued to see what this was about.  As we walked down the hallway, Henry was in front while Celeste and the receptionist were behind me.  It was pretty obvious they weren't taking any chances I might skip out.  I had a grim laugh.  They clearly had previous experience because skipping out had definitely crossed my mind.  My eyes focused on the rear door exit at the end of the hallway.  Halfway down the hallway, Henry stopped.  I thought strongly about moving Henry aside and continuing out the back door, but then I changed my mind.  Let's see what happens.

Henry guided Celeste and me into a cramped room.  We were given two wooden chairs on the back wall.  There was a giant desk between us and the door.  The desk was large, so when Henry pulled up a chair next to the desk, our exit route was blocked.  We were trapped.  Fortunately we did not have long to wait.  A new man entered the room and greeted us with a big smile. 

"Hi, I'm Derek.  I am the Dance Director.  Thank you for meeting with me.  Let me get right to the point.  Here at Phoney Baloney, we have a very important dance competition coming up.  Earlier I passed by your lesson and noticed how well the two of you are picking up the material.  You have unusual promise as a couple."

I was incredulous.  Derek had obviously never seen me dance in his life.  Had this guy forgotten to coordinate his sales pitch with Henry?  I wanted to show Derek my report card and ask him to explain the incongruity.  However, Derek droned on, so I bided my time.  

"Due to your unusual promise, the studio would like you to represent us in the upcoming contest!  We have a slot open in our Rising Star category.  The two of you would be the perfect couple!"

Celeste couldn't contain herself any longer.  She blurted out, "Oh, wow, this is so exciting!  I just love to dance!" 

Now I was even more incredulous.  Oh my gosh, Celeste is buying it!!  Straight A Celeste was beaming with pride.  This was her big chance to become Phoney Baloney's star entry in the upcoming Ballroom Competition.  This would be her moment to shine.  Overwhelmed by dreams of loud applause, Celeste was glowing like a movie star.  Sensing a deal, Dance Director Derek and Celestial Celeste locked eyes in rapt concentration (did you enjoy my alliteration?)  From here on out, they paid no attention to me.  As Derek directed his sales pitch to a smiling Celeste, I stared in disbelief.  This was absurd.  How on earth did Derek say this stuff with a straight face?  At that moment, I was starting to wrap my mind around a new possibility.  Perhaps Celeste needed a partner to enter the competition.  Not a professional, but an amateur like herself.  Hmm.  Maybe someone like me.  I nodded.  It had taken a while, but I finally caught on.

I turned my gaze to Henry, the guy who had handed me a D in Tango.  Following Derek's line about our 'unusual promise', Henry deliberately avoided eye contact.  Instead he spent his time staring at a non-existent picture on the wall.  I grinned as I read Henry's mind. 

"The things a guy has to do to keep his job..."

I was highly amused by the disconnect between Henry's poor grades and Derek's bullshit.  These guys had forgotten to coordinate their sales pitch prior to this sit-down.  I had to assume Derek did not know Henry had almost flunked me in Tango.  I also assumed Henry was making a mental note to avoid giving anyone a 'D' just minutes before the next shakedown.  So which one was the bigger moron, Derek or Henry?  It was a real toss-up.  A dark smile crossed my face.  I could probably cost Henry his job if I wanted to.  All I had to do was show Derek my report card.  However, to do that, I would need Derek to acknowledge I existed.  At the moment he only had eyes for Celestial. 

Derek exclaimed, "We can't win the Rising Star without you!  I know you have the ability to help Phoney Baloney to victory.  However, in order for you to do well, you will need a little more polish!" 

Here it comes.  Now that I knew what was going on, I braced myself for the dollar sign.  Sure enough, because they desperately needed our help, Derek was going to make us a special offer.  Due to our 'unusual promise', Derek would give us a Large Discount if we would sign up right this minute.

Keep in mind that not once did Derek or Henry look at me.  I was completely invisible the entire time.  Maybe they assumed I was under Celeste's thumb and would automatically do her bidding.  Ignoring me, Derek looked straight into his star candidate's receptive eyes and implored, "Celeste, it is very important that people with your kind of ability fulfill their dance potential!"

I nearly bust a gut when I saw Celeste radiate with confidence.  Seduced by dreams of dance floor domination, Celeste beamed at Derek with an elation that bordered on reverence.  Celeste was ready and willing to achieve stardom.  Any minute now I expected her to jump up and scream, "Put me in, Coach!  I will win the trophy for you!" 

Derek promptly reached in his desk and produced a contract for Private Dance Lessons.  The contract said these lessons were valued at $2,000.  On the spot, Derek pulled out a red marker pen and slashed through the $2,000.  After scribbling the word 'DISCOUNT' in bold letters, he reduced the price from $2,000 to $979. 

But only on one condition!  We needed to sign up this very minute! 

The sales pitch was so absurdly pathetic I fought to keep from bursting out in laughter.  If I heard this correctly, Derek said they desperately needed our help and it was only going to cost us $979 to help them.  Interesting logic.  If Phoney Baloney is that desperate, shouldn't they be paying us?  Does Mickey Mantle pay the Yankees to help them win the World Series?   I don't think so. 

Derek was the first hard-sell person I had ever seen in action.  However Derek was not smooth.  His hands were shaking.  Noticing how nervous he was, I imagined a used car salesman or fake watch hustler would have displayed more skill.  I was amazed at Derek's audacity.  Does this pitch actually work with anyone?   Then I noticed Celeste in her hypnotic trance.  Well, obviously it worked with some people.

Celeste TAKES CONTROL

I have a confession to make.  At this point I was glad I stuck around.  Derek's performance had been a darkly comical Theater of the Macabre.  However, now that my morbid curiosity was satisfied, I had seen enough.  No person in their right mind would cooperate with an approach this stupid.  I was ready to leave, but then I noticed Celeste was still transfixed with visions of glory.  Good grief.  This promise of glory was right up her alley.  Well, so what?   Help yourself to happiness.  Celeste had actual talent, so let her pursue her dreams if that is what she wanted.  But it is time to go.  I leaned from my chair and touched Celeste's arm to get her attention. 

"Celeste, this does not interest me.  Let's go."

Celeste raised her hand in protest.  She whispered, "Wait, Rick, I'm not ready yet.  Let me handle this."  

I should have been angry, but I was actually too fascinated to be upset.  This woman had just told me to wait for a fifth time.  I had never before seen such blatant nerve in all my life.  I could have left, but here again my curiosity got the better of me again.  So I settled back in chair.  Based on Derek's smile, he could see who wore the pants in this relationship.  And so my Invisibility returned.  No one looked at me, no one spoke to me.  Meanwhile, I was baffled.  Celeste was so insistent that I be here, she must have an agenda.  The entire situation smelled of collusion.  I wondered if I was being set up to take further dance lessons.  Since that was the only thing that made a bit of sense, I was curious to know how they expected to get me to cooperate.  As far as I was concerned, skullduggery was their only hope.  I half-expected Celeste would forge my signature on the contract. 

Unfortunately my conspiracy theory had contradictions.  If I was the patsy, then why had Celeste and Henry been so damn mean to me?  I had seen enough Betty Davis films to realize the power of beguiling charm and sweet talk.  Charm was not Celeste's forte.  In addition to non-stop criticism during the past three lessons, she had the nerve to flaunt her superiority using the report card comparison.   If she wanted me to continue, then why didn't she offer to help or show some patience?  No woman had ever ridiculed me to this extent before.  Nor had any woman ever ordered me around quite like this.  Was there something clinically wrong with this woman?

As a confessed fan of abnormal psychology, I settled down and waited for some way to solve the mystery.  Smart move.  I was about to be treated to the most remarkable exhibition of utter senselessness in my entire life.  At this point, Celeste took control of the interview.  Actions speak louder than words, right?  Celeste began to list the reasons why she was not ready to sign that contract, yet spoke with such breathless animation that I could have sworn deep down she wanted to sign the contract.  I could not help but think of Yolanda, poster girl for All Yak and No Sack.  In her own way, Celeste was just as big a tease as Yolanda.  She chose a negotiating style best described as 'cute them to death'.  I had never seen this particular ploy used before, but it bordered on the absurd.  Celeste laughed and joked as she made one excuse after another why 'we' couldn't sign the contract.  Each excuse was more inane than the previous one.

•  "We don't have enough money."
•  "We are kind of busy right now."
•  "We don't know much about dancing."
•  "We aren't sure if this is right for us.  Can we think about it?"
•  "How about if we let you know next week?"

Here again I was darkly amused.  Where did Celeste get the nerve to assume she had the right to use the word 'we'?  While Celeste kept up her happy chat, I shook my head in utter amazement.  What kind of negotiation strategy was this?  Do you want it or don't you?  This was exactly how Celeste behaved when we had sex.  She just yapped away in bed about nothing.  Now she was doing it here in this office.  Was this was foreplay to her?  Now I began to lose my temper.  Not because I was impatient, but rather I was beginning to feel sorry for Derek and Henry.  Celeste was playing them, it was obvious.  What was the point of prolonging the torture?  Say yes or say no, but quit fooling around with these guys!  Why I held my tongue is beyond me, but there I was, the Invisible Man gaping in astonishment at the absurdity of this dialogue. 

Meanwhile Dance Director Derek was practically drooling with excitement.  No doubt Celeste's foreplay turned him on.  He seemed thrilled that Celeste was matching wits with him.  My guess is he pegged Celeste for the girl who says no, but means yes.  To him, it appeared like she was negotiating, perhaps to obtain a lower price.  If so, that was exactly what Derek wanted her to do.  This is what he lived for.  Derek was the Closer!  Smart man that he was, Derek let Celeste do most of the talking.  It was like fishing.  As far as I could tell, Derek believed he had his hooks into her.  All he had to do was wait for Celeste to tire out. and give in.  Let Celeste yap yap yap while he tugged on the fishing line till she wore down. 

If that was his strategy, Derek was making a big mistake.  I knew from experience Celeste could talk in her sleep.  I wasn't mad at Derek.  In fact, now that I realized this was how he made a living, I felt sorry for the man.  I imagined a job pulling bubble gum off movie seats offered more dignity than this gig.  However, once this charade reached thirty minutes, I couldn't take it any more.  Thirty minutes.  Repeat.  Thirty minutes.  Even Derek was getting impatient.  He started to pressure Celeste to sign the expensive contract.  Nothing doing.  Celeste just yapped away as if she had not heard a word he said.  Celeste was magnificent in an infuriating way.  Nothing fazed her.  Not once did she lose her patience.  Not once did she raise her voice.  Celeste smiled, laughed, and joked the entire time.  Happy happy happy.  Meanwhile I was getting more confused by the minute.  I tried to analyze her strategy.  What was her goal?

Possibility One: Celeste doesn't want the lessons.  

Analysis:  If Celeste doesn't want the lessons, then why are we still here?  Why does it take 30 minutes to say no?

Possibility Two: Celeste does want the lessons, but wants the price reduced.

Analysis:  If Celeste wants a larger discount, then why doesn't Celeste say so?  I could understand dickering about the price, but first one needs to at least acknowledge an interest in buying.  Not once did Celeste say she wanted these lessons.

Possibility Three:  Celeste said she wanted to think about it till next week.  Maybe she wanted to discuss my participation in private and determine how much I was willing to pay.  If so, then tell the man she will think about it and go.  Why stick around for 30 minutes?

Since none of these possibilities explained Celeste's delaying tactics, what exactly did Celeste want?  I had no idea.  Celeste seemed to be saying no, but not very forcefully.  Back in the days of Yolanda, I gave a lot of thought to women who say 'no' when they really mean 'yes'.  However I always thought that behavior was reserved for sexual situations.  Celeste's mouth said 'no', but her body language said 'yes'.  She was leaning forward, not away.  Her arms were uncrossed and her hands were placed on the desk to indicate interest.  Her smiles and animated gestures showed she was eager and fully involved.  If forced to guess, Celeste wanted to take the lessons.  So why didn't she say so?  Despite my growing impatience, I was darkly fascinated by the unfolding drama.  This woman was one of a kind.  Like a ping pong match, the conversation bounced back and forth.  Derek would give a reason to take more lessons, Celeste would parry and think of a reason to refuse to commit.  Back and forth.  When Derek pressed on, Celeste didn't seem to mind a bit.  In fact, Celeste appeared to be enjoying herself.  She showed absolutely no sign of nervousness.  Whatever Derek said, Celeste used the same broken record...  "too broke, too busy, let me think about it, talk some more next week, blah blah blah." 

I found it remarkable that with all this talk, there was never any mention of me.  One would assume I had a say-so in the matter, but apparently not.  For the life of me, I could not figure out Celeste's strategy.  And then I got my answer.   Celeste was smiling!  You only smile when you are having fun.  I bet Celeste is enjoying the attention!!  Derek wasn't keeping Celeste on the hook, Celeste was keeping Derek on the hook.  Celeste was toying with Derek.

The word 'Tease' crossed my mind for a second time.  Was it possible Celeste was stringing Derek along just to amuse herself?  That was the first answer to make any sense.  Celeste's main goal was to get attention!  This was a game to Celeste… make them invest time in her, get them excited, then turn them down.  That was exactly what Yolanda had done to me and I bet this was Celeste's game as well.  I began to nod.  The only question is whether Celeste would satisfy their desire or break their hearts.  I decided I didn't care to stick around to find out.  So at the 40 minute mark I stood up and made an announcement. 

"Gentlemen, I am done here.  Henry, would you please move aside and permit me to leave?" 

The two men were shocked... but they didn't move.  Unless Henry moved, I could not get out of the room.  So I got angry.  Glaring with thinly concealed anger, I raised my voice and repeated myself.  "Henry, did you not hear me?  I said I want to go!"

Henry turned white.  He knew I was aching for an excuse to get physical with him.  He had just begun to rise out of his seat when Celeste spoke up. 

"Wait, Rick, we aren't through yet!  Sit down."

I was incredulous.  This was the SIXTH TIME Celeste had crossed me.  Did she really expect me to sit back down?  I lost my patience.  I snapped at Celeste, "Sit down?  What for?  I have no intention of signing this contract.  You can do whatever you want, Celeste, but I'm finished here." 

Then I glared back at Henry who was still blocking my path.  "Henry, I said get out of my way!"

The room fell silent.  To my surprise, Henry still refused to move.  Emboldened by Celeste's unwillingness to yield, Henry decided not to cooperate.  Derek was thrilled at Henry's gumption and nodded approval.  For her part, once Celeste saw the two men had decided not to let me out of the room, she started talking to them again as if nothing had happened.  Meanwhile I was still standing there.  This was unbelievable.  I had spoken up, but no one acknowledged me.  Maybe I really was Invisible.  Derek and Celeste resumed chattering away as if I wasn't there.  As far as they were concerned, it wasn't over till they decided it was over.

Well, guess what, guys, it's over when I say it is.  I was a muscular six foot tall, 200 pound athlete and these wimps were not remotely in Manimal's league.  Considering my bad mood, I doubted they would try to stop me.  It was time to let them know I was serious.  First I stepped past Celeste.  Now I stood directly in front of Henry.  "Henry, this is my last warning.  Either get out of my way or I will move you out of my way.  Do you understand?"

That did it.  With obvious resentment, Henry begrudgingly stood up and moved aside to let me pass.  I stared at Henry as I passed within inches of his nose.  This was a very tense confrontation.  It gave me immense pleasure to see him trembling.  To my surprise, the moment I passed Henry, Celeste threw in the towel.  Celeste said "Wait, Rick!", then got up as if to follow me out the door.  I lifted my hand as a signal to stop.  "Celeste, do what you want, but I don't need a ride and I prefer you leave me alone.  Goodbye."

Celeste turned pale.  I think the strength of my anger scared her.  She was about to protest, but when I put a finger to my mouth, Celeste got the message.  She stopped in her tracks and reluctantly sat back down without another word.  Before I left, I turned to glance at the two men.  From the exasperated look on their faces, until now they believed they had a real chance of making a sale.  In particular, the disappointment on Derek’s face was so palpable I actually felt sorry for him.  By leading him on, Celeste had actually gotten Derek's hopes up.  I imagined sales were few and far between for this man.  No wonder he was so crestfallen.    

It took me all of 10 seconds to leave the building.  As I walked home, I was disgusted.  Celeste should be ashamed.  Derek had done nothing to deserve a nasty tease like her. 

That was not all I was disgusted with.  Hiding underneath my anger at Celeste was bitter disappointment over my utterly mediocre grasp of Ballroom dancing.   

After reaching a pinnacle at the Second Office Club in March, Celeste's emasculating antics had reduced me to rubble in April.  I watched in horror as the Rock of Sisyphus rolled down the mountain to the valley below.  Not only had my Dance Project stalled out, Celeste had destroyed my confidence.  Phobia was back with a vengeance and I had returned to Rock Bottom.

How low would I sink this time?