Having wasted an entire week with sulking, I was in serious trouble.  Committed to developing a new level out of thin air, the following week was an ordeal.  With a heavy heart, during the final week of March I forced myself to return to the Pistachio Club every night for research.  As always, I was completely on my own when it came to scouting for moves.  Where's Janie when I need her?  Struggling to find new moves, I turned into a nervous wreck.  This was shaping up as the toughest test of my life.  In addition to humbling myself under daily criticism from my boss, I had to feed this monster I had created.  With my students demanding more and more partner dance patterns, the pressure to satisfy their demands was overwhelming.

I was sick with worry day and night.  I was young, 28, but teetering on the edge of exhaustion nonetheless.  I had my Child Abuse job by day, my Disco job by night, and now I had a third job spending every night after class in a fruitless attempt to come up with new patterns.  Typically I got to bed at midnight, tossed and turned, then rose at dawn full of dread.  I was under way too much pressure. 

There is an animal known as the shrew.  The shrew is forced to eat its own weight daily to survive.  Since the shrew cannot survive on leaves like other animals, every waking moment is spent foraging for seeds, insects, nuts and worms to stay alive.  The margin for error is so slim that the shrew is forced to hunt constantly or die.  That was exactly how I felt.  I was constantly forced to forage for new Disco patterns or die.  Since I had no teacher to help me, the constant search to find new partner dance moves was killing me.  It was feed the beast or lose my dream job.

Lacking even one new move, there was no way I could create an entire eight week Advanced course in one week.  So did the Universe bail me out again?  Not this time.  As a result I had to use a little moxie of my own.  It crossed my mind that all I needed to do was stay "One Step Ahead".  This much I could do.  There were 60 minutes in a dance lesson.  After reviewing the previous week's patterns and dancing to music for 5-10 minutes or so, I had at most 30 minutes to introduce something new.  Teach one new move, dance it to music, tell a joke, see y'all next week.  I cannot begin to explain the relief I felt.  Scouting for one or two new moves a week was much easier than creating an entire series of patterns all at once. 

march-April, 1978 THE double-hump CAMEL CLASS

My latest headache was caused by Lance Stevens.  No surprise there.  Stevens threw me a curve by calling the new class "Intermediate II".  Due to confusion created by Stevens' fuzzy thinking, no one (including Stevens) could figure out the difference between Intermediate class I and Intermediate II.  To the average person, the titles suggested the classes could be taken in either order.  As a result, my newest class was swollen with students who thought so highly of themselves that they SKIPPED both the Beginner class and Intermediate I.  Instead they signed up for a class advertised as "Intermediate" that was actually "Advanced". 

What was that phrase again?  "The Harder I work, the luckier I get."

In the second week, I got lucky.  However, before I got lucky, first I used some ingenuity.  With a week to prepare, I had given some thought to a possible solution.  First I taught the Pistachio Step to make the Beginners happy.  Then I taught new move called 'Cuddles', a variation on the Pistachio Step.   Although Cuddles was technically a new move, I chose it because it was easy to learn. 

Cuddles is a fun move where the man wraps the lady up in his arms, then swings her out again.  I had to grin.  The men had such a field day 'cuddling' these pretty girls in their arms, they didn't care whether the woman was a Veteran or a Newcomer.  The women liked the move too.  Judging by their giggles, the girls didn't mind at all, especially if the guy was cute.  Amused, I had a sudden inspiration.  I told the men to put their lady partners in Cuddles, then told everyone to stay put and listen carefully.

"All right, guys, I have wisdom to impart, so pay attention.  You've got your arms wrapped around these lovely girls.  Now think about it.  Not one woman has attempted to leave your arms while I speak.  Seriously, these exceptionally attractive women are more than happy to let you hold them while I yap away.  What did you ever do to deserve this?  So that raises a question.  How many drinks would you need to buy this same woman to get her to stand still in this position at the club for up to three minutes?  Only in my dance class can you achieve this delightful bonus for a fraction of the time and money you would spend at a bar.  Most women require convincing to get this close to a stranger, but not our girls.  Our girls are happy to cooperate and you are lucky to have them.  So what is my point?"

Pausing for effect, I delivered the punch line. 

"You can't lose with the stuff we use!"

The class roared.  The fact that my corny speech had been received so well was the lucky part.  Everyone was enjoying the moment so much I assumed the birds and the bees had something to do with my impromptu success.  Why not take further advantage of the good mood?  I decided the best thing to do was play some music and let them practice their Pistachio Step and Cuddles pattern.  However, I threw in a bold new twist.  Normally I had people dance with one partner for two minutes.  Tonight I told the class I wanted everyone to dance with at least 6 or 7 different partners.  By playing a long song, I promised to lower the volume every two minutes or so and announce "switch partners".  In addition, I asked the veterans to make an attempt to dance with beginners and help them if necessary. 

To my amazement, my long-shot gamble worked.  I put on the 15-minute Disco version of 'Romeo and Juliet'.  Yes, you read that right.  15 minutes.  Everyone got in the spirit and pitched in to help.  The veteran women coached the beginner men while the veteran men helped the beginner women.  No one seemed to resent my ploy.  Even people who came together switched.  Everyone was having too much fun to care.  It is my theory that several love affairs were spawned on the spot.  Better yet, a group spirit was forming.  We were all in this together.  The evening was saved because Beginners and Veterans magically merged into one unit.

So let's have a little chat.  Do you see what I mean by Luck?  Okay, I am willing to take some credit.  I deliberately chose a lesson plan that had some challenge, but not too much.  However, the goofy lecture was totally unplanned.  The idea just came out of nowhere.  So did the idea to play the long song and insist on switching partners.  Was it Luck?  Or was it Talent?  Or was it Divine Intervention? 

No one knows the true origin of Inspiration.  Personally, I would LOVE to claim credit for the bright idea.  But over time, I have come to believe some of my best ideas are given to me from beyond.  Can I prove this?  No, of course not.  But when Lucky Breaks both big and small continued to occur time after time, I began to question my own cleverness.  This had been a close call.  This was yet another night when the Great Imposter survived by the skin of his teeth.  My lingering impression was that yet again I had been rescued from a really tough spot.  This book is long enough as it is, so I can't share every single incident.  Instead I ask the Reader to accept the Cuddles story as an example of how one gamble after another always seemed to pay off.  Using my Fake it till you Make it strategy, I had successfully fooled yet another class into thinking I knew what I was doing.  But did I really succeed on my own merit? 

I was very pleased to see the warm spirit emerge in what I had expected to be a nightmare class.  However, now I had a new problem.  After Cuddles, there were no remaining moves in my piggy bank.  What was I going to teach next week?  There was only one solution... continue to use my 'One Step Ahead' strategy.  During the next week, I headed over to the Pistachio Club to scout for new material.   Mixing review, practice and one new move each week, I hoped to maintain my masquerade and live to fight for another day.  Yes, I was a woeful, inadequate, and totally inexperienced.  But I was also ridiculously lucky.  My Luck compensated for the brutal fact that I barely knew what I was doing.  As long as I could stay One Step Ahead, I might just pull this off.  But there was no guarantee of success.  All it would take would be one slip, one mistake.  Given my small margin for error, I was a nervous wreck.    

APRIL 1978 AND JANUARY 2006: 28 YEAR DIFFERENCE GREG AND SUSAN BROER

As I mentioned earlier, it is important to me to point out connections between past, present and future events.  The timeline for the Magic Carpet Ride currently resides at April 1978.  However, for our next story, let's start in the future and work backwards.  Using our Time Machine, let us race 28 years forward. 

It is January 2006.  One night before class started at the studio, an attractive couple walked up to me with a big smile.  I had no idea who they were, but their warm expression suggested they knew me.  The gentleman stuck out his hand to greet me while his pretty wife beamed.

Visiting from out of town, Greg and Susan Broer wanted to thank me for assisting in their wonderful marriage of 27 years.  Greg explained how I had paired him with Susan in a dance class back in 1978.  Given the details Greg shared, I suspect this matchmaking took place about the same time as my Great Imposter period.  As it turned out, pairing them together led to love at first sight.  One year after meeting in dance class, Greg and Susan got married. 

Now here is the cool thing... they gave me all the credit!

Susan said, "I came to your class nursing a broken heart.  A friend had recommended that I try something fun.  She told me about your classes and I figured Disco dancing fit the bill.  I walked into your class without a partner.  You told me to stand there while you surveyed the room deciding what to do with me.  Just then a handsome stranger walked in the door.  I crossed my fingers and hoped you would notice him.  Thank goodness you did."

Now it was Greg's turn.  "You pointed to me and said, 'Why don't you dance with this lady?'  I had already noticed Susan, so I was more than happy to do just that.  I walked straight over."

Susan interjected, "The way we clicked that night, it seemed like Fate had put us together.  We laughed and laughed.  You had a funny way of keeping things light.  I liked Greg so much, I wondered if you had some great psychic premonition that we were soul mates.  Greg and I agree the moment you asked us to dance with each other was special.  Your good deed has carried a lot of sentimental value for us over the years.  You are the person we credit for putting us together.   Back at home, we refer to you as our Matchmaker."

Guess what crossed my mind?  Behold the Power of a Simple Act of Kindness.  Hmm.  Where have we heard that before?

Although I was very touched by their kind words, I had no business taking credit for their romance.  I preferred to give credit to the Universe.  Perhaps I was unconsciously influenced to pair this lovely couple together.  In the world of Mark Twain, we are all connected.  Let's stay Greg and Susan really were Soul Mates.  If that is true, then it is possible the Universe used me as an agent to assist in Greg and Susan's fated meeting.   In my chapter on the Partner Dance Crisis, I spoke of my belief in Messengers such as Janie and Sue Ann.  A 'Spiritual Calling' is what God needs us to do on Earth.  We can all be "called upon" to deliver a service at different points in our lives. 

'Calling' is such a sacred word, it embarrasses me to suggest I was chosen to play a special role in people's lives.  Please forgive if I offend anyone by saying I was called upon.  I think back to a special moment in college.  I had just read a story where a man named Edgar Cayce had used his psychic powers to diagnose a young girl's life-threatening medical problem.  Touched by how Cayce dedicated his entire life to helping people, I told God I too would like to be of service to people someday.  Perhaps my wish was granted. 

So let me share another peek into the future.  In 1999 the emergence of email allowed me a way to keep a careful record of the various marriages spawned at the dance studio.  To my astonishment, over a stretch of 11 years, I confirmed that the studio averaged over one new marriage per month.  Extrapolating that over the course of my 40 year career, I estimate 400 marriages such as Greg and Susan's were assisted by the spirit of warmth that permeated the dance studio.  How many other institutions can make such an unusual claim? 

I believe God blessed our studio with Magic.  Of course I did not dare state this publicly.  God forbid I give people any reason to think I was crazier than they already thought.  However, I was willing to call attention to this unusual and quite special phenomenon.  The idea that Slow Dance leads to Romance not only made people smile, it became a remarkable self-fulfilling prophecy.  People were so tickled by the sweet thought that their very own dance studio doubled as an Enchanted Garden for Lovers, they whispered glad tidings to their single friends.  Talk about Love Potion! 

This cheerful idea had a magic of its own.  Convinced our dance program was the best place in town to find love, my students shared the possibility with their friends.  Next thing you know, the studio was swamped with singles chasing each other all over the place.  'Slow Dance and Romance' swiftly grew into a Legend which drew a steady supply of new students to our door year after year.  This legend was more responsible for the continued growth of the studio than any other single factor.

The appearance of Greg and Susan in 2006 reminded me there had definitely been a serious air of Romance in the early days of my career.  Back in those days I was too shy to get to know my students on a personal basis.  However, I did notice my classes attracted a lot of single people who thoroughly enjoyed "Cuddling" with each other.  Assuming Greg and Susan were the tip of the iceberg, I have good reason to believe my dance program was responsible for creating marriages right from the very start.