MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE:

IMPASSE

Written by Rick Archer 

LIMBO MONTH TWO WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1979 THE ICE THAWS WITH JENNIFER

On Wednesday, November 7, Jennifer called me at home in the afternoon.  I was surprised to hear from her.  We had not spoken in two weeks at her request.

"Rick, I have been giving this a lot of thought.  I have decided you were right about something.  The Doorstep event with Victoria is definitely something I need to take some responsibility for.  You made mistakes, but so did I.  I would like to discuss it further.  Why don't you come over tonight and let's talk some more."

Wow.  This was the first good news I heard in ages.  A month had passed since that horrible U-Turn Week.  More recently, Jennifer and I had a huge blow-up right before my birthday two weeks ago.  To my relief, Jennifer had finally lifted her moratorium on seeing me.  I was still determined to regain Jennifer's love.  Knowing Victoria had far too many problems of her own to keep a close eye on me, I decided to take a risk and go see Jennifer.  I was on Cloud Nine for the remainder of the day.  I assumed Jennifer had forgiven me and was ready to try again.  But I was wrong.  That night I quickly discovered Jennifer had no intention to kiss and make up.  I knew I was in trouble when she made me sit on the opposite side of her kitchen table. 

"I agree I must share some of the blame in creating that mess.  However, you are the one who let Victoria move in with you.  Even if I find some way to get past my hurt and jealousy, how do I know this won't happen again?  That is what I wanted to talk about tonight."

"Victoria did move in with me, but have you forgotten that she moved right back out?  Once she discovered there is no chemistry between us, there was no point in sticking around.  There is no romance between us.  She would not dream of trying that again.  Please accept my word on this."

"So why she did she turn around and threaten you if you were to see me again?"

"Victoria is like a dog who doesn't want his chewed up bone anymore, but doesn't want the other dog to have it.  Victoria was angry at me over your presence in my life.  Plus she feels some sort of need to control me.  Things have changed.  She doesn't want me for a boyfriend.  Four weeks have passed since she moved out.  We have not touched since.  Not even a kiss.  No Car Talk either.  Victoria is convinced her husband has hired a private eye to take pictures of us sitting in her car.  Furthermore, Victoria has stopped checking on me.  She thinks you are long gone.  Now that her attention has shifted, she has turned me into some sort of security blanket."

"What does that mean?"

"From what Victoria says, I am the least of her problems.  She and Michael engage in knock down, drag out fights virtually every night after Stephanie goes to bed.  She is terrified of losing her daughter and losing her home.  She worries constantly.  But she likes to keep me around in case she needs some company.  She likes to talk on the phone or cry on my shoulder at the studio before class starts."

"She keeps you around for company?  What kind of a reason is that?  Why doesn't she just set you free?"

"Well, that's a good question.  I think Victoria looks at me like a spare tire.  Right now I am in some sort of weird Limbo world.  If Michael follows through with these divorce threats, I think she intends to activate me.  In the meantime, I believe she told Michael that she broke up with me, but intends to keep her job.  That is another reason why she never stays late at the studio after class.  I have long believed Victoria has a different story for both men.  You aren't going to believe this, but I have actually begun to feel some sympathy for her."

"No way!  Are you crazy?  Why would you feel sympathy for that monster?  She's the one who is keeping us apart!"

"I know, I know, calm down.  Trust me, one part of me still hates her guts.  And yes, maybe I am crazy for finding a ray of light in the woman.  I don't want a romance with Victoria, but I would like to be her friend.  Someday I will try to explain the enormous debt I feel to this woman for showing me how to run a dance studio.  But that's another story.  Most of all, I want you back into my arms.  That is what is most important to me."

I smiled and looked at Jennifer hopefully.  However, Jennifer flinched and put her hands up.  "No, not yet," she said.  "I'm not ready for that.  But I am willing to keep talking."

"Okay, Jennifer, fair enough.  What about you and Jeff?"

Jennifer winced.  "More or less the same as you and Victoria.  We are also in Limbo.  We don't smooch, but we stay connected."

"Okay, good enough for now.  I guess I should go.  Till we meet again!"

I interpreted tonight's visit as a good sign.  As long as Jennifer was talking to me, I was still in the game.

NOVEMBER 1979 THE ICE THAWS WITH VICTORIA

I saw very little of Victoria in October.  We only had Car Talk once the entire month.  Even better she stopped calling at night to check on me.  Not once did we meet at the Coffee Shop and rarely did she call me during the day.  We spoke briefly at the studio twice a week and left it at that.  Her near-total absence is the reason I believed she had told Michael we had broken up.  Hanging out with me till 11 pm in her car would have been a dead giveaway.  Victoria was probably keeping me out of the picture while she tried to repair the damage.  Likewise with the late night phone calls, another obvious giveaway.  This explained my reprieve.  Victoria's pattern continued into November.  Since her instincts detected no romantic activity, Victoria gave me an unusual amount of freedom.  Besides, Victoria didn't seem to care anymore.  Since the midnight phone calls had stopped, this explains why I dared to go see Jennifer on November 7th.

We had spent July, August, and September discussing a potential romance.  Doorstep Night put an end to that.  Negotiations were a thing of the past.  Now that I was Victoria's 'Official Boyfriend'... her words, not mine... any necessity for discussing Romance had become irrelevant.  My new role was to act as crying towel for Victoria's laments.  I had become her confidante.  Since Car Talk was out of the question, she occasionally called me at home during the day.  Locked in a tough struggle with Michael, the threat of divorce had Victoria full of panic.  Her husband was still extremely bitter over her weeklong escapade at my house.  After her bizarre U-Turn Week, Victoria had returned to face an angry husband who was well aware his wife had been unfaithful.  Michael was in no mood to forgive his wife's willful abandonment of marital vows.  From what I gathered, Michael had always been faithful to Victoria.  This gave him the moral high ground which he used to berate Victoria during every argument.

When Victoria told Michael he should move out, her demand enraged him.  Michael was furious at being told to leave the house and flat-out refused to cooperate. 

"You're the one who screwed up, so why don't you leave?  This is my home too.  This my daughter.  I've done nothing wrong.  If you don't like it, then you move out.  I would welcome that.  Stephanie and I did just fine while you were gone.  In fact, do me a favor.  Call Rick right now and tell him you are moving back in." 

Two things crossed my mind.  First of all, did Michael really say that?  All I had was Victoria's word for it.  That said, at least for now she was probably telling the truth.  As a result, I nearly died when I heard her repeat that conversation.  If she were to leave again, I was ready to hammer nails into every door, put burglar bars on the windows and crawl through the hidden doggie door to avoid her seeing me come and go.  I could not take another round of Victim Victoria and her constant sobbing. 

Victoria was surprised at Michael's defiance.  Michael was not one to stand up to her, at least not in the past.  However, the new Michael was sick and tired of being pushed around, so he stood his ground on the issue of moving out.  However Victoria was equally determined not to leave.  Now that her common sense had returned, she would not dream of leaving Stephanie again.  Since neither parent was willing to budge, the ongoing friction guaranteed nightly fireworks.  Poor Stephanie was undoubtedly reliving my own past.  How could I forget listening in horror as my parents argued night after night?  They thought I couldn't hear, but the sound of their muffled words made it through the walls.  Recalling all those nights I cried myself to sleep while my parents argued, I felt so sorry for Stephanie.  This was EXACTLY why I had made my 'Sacred Vow' never to touch Victoria.  So much for good intentions.  My failure to spare Stephanie the same fate filled me with regret.

Despite Michael's wrath, Victoria continued to win her share of the arguments in much the same way as she dominated me.  Victoria possessed a cunning that is hard to describe.  This woman could find the weakness in any man's debate.  I should know because I am the one she tricked into letting her through my door.   Here is a simple example.  One night Michael yelled at her for cheating on him.  Victoria pointed out she had not cheated.  "My lawyer says you tacitly agreed to a trial separation!  Since I told you what I was going to do ahead of time, it isn't cheating!" 

Victoria did not expect Michael to like what happened, but claimed that since she had not done something behind his back, this meant he had given her permission.  "Don't you remember?  You gave permission to a trial separation!  You had every right to see other people if you wished."   Michael did not recall agreeing to any such thing, but Victoria twisted his words just enough to finesse the point.  Michael was so flummoxed by Victoria's preposterous logic that he had to leave the room before he blew his top. 

And how do I know this?  Like I said, I was now her official confidante and Victoria had lots of stories to share.  I can't guarantee they were all true or that I understood them correctly, but I was definitely her favorite sounding board.  In return I dutifully gave her the expected sympathy.  Although I was secretly on Michael's side in most of these stories, I never gave Victoria any reason to believe that.  However, when Victoria told me that story about the 'trial separation', my jaw dropped open.  How did this woman manage to control two different men after the stunt she had pulled?  Actually, I knew the answer... Divide and conquer.  In addition Victoria had a stronger personality than either of us.  Victoria was a hard woman to win an argument with.  On the other hand, there could be no doubt Victoria was under intense pressure.  Victoria said that every other night they screamed at each other regarding who did what to whom.  The Blame Game Bonfire was burning the house down.  Other times they somberly discussed the possibility of divorce including property division and custody.  However, no decisions had been reached.

There was, however, one new development.  Victoria said Michael had moved into the guest bedroom of their house.  It was a mutual decision, Victoria assured me.  Victoria was now alone in her bedroom at night.  Victoria may have been defiant to Michael's face, but she was broken when she was alone.  Victoria said she cried every night because she hated sleeping in her room alone.  In a way, I felt sorry for the woman, so I told her I would start answering the phone again at night.  I was actually touched when Victoria told me how grateful she was at my gesture.  Victoria didn't call often, but when she did, it wasn't to check on me, but rather to lean on me after another tough fight with Michael.  I know this sounds weird, but she started calling me her best friend in the world.  One thing I found odd was her habit of baring her soul about her feelings for Michael, but never once did she share her thoughts about me.  Consequently I was left to guess what her true feelings were.  Who knows, maybe it was a subject better left unsaid.  It was always about Michael or Stephanie or her confusion.  And maybe a brief touch of tenderness for the pain she had caused Michael.   What a shame she couldn't express her fondness for Michael to him instead of telling it to me.  In these moments, I felt like I saw a glimmer of the old Sunshine Victoria.  Maybe that part of her wasn't dead after all.

Yes, I resented being kept in captivity, but at the same time I was determined to make the best of the situation.  By staying on her good side, I wanted to reduce the risk that Victoria would lose her temper and start the poison pen campaign if Jennifer and I reconnected.

Sunday, NOVEMBER 11, 1979 JENNIFER KEEPS RICK IN SUSPENSE

On Sunday morning, November 11, I called Jennifer.  "How about having lunch with me?"

Jennifer was amenable, so we met at a place near her Galleria apartment called the Strawberry Patch.  I tried to keep the conversation light and breezy, but Jennifer steered the topic to Victoria.

"What's the news on Victoria?  Are you still a spare tire or did she pump some air into you and take you for a spin?"

I smiled.  Ordinarily, I was the one with the clever quips, not Jennifer.

"No, I have not been activated.  In the five weeks since she moved out, Victoria has not made one romantic gesture.  My role has become that of a Midnight sounding board."

"So are you her boyfriend or not?"

"Victoria tells me I am her boyfriend until she says otherwise.  But I prefer to be your boyfriend."

"I would like that too, Rick, but not until you free yourself from Victoria to my satisfaction."

"There are two ways to win my freedom from Victoria.  I can use force again or I can continue to let her interest in me atrophy.  Right now, the atrophy is working.  If I use force, I risk losing the studio.  That said, I will stand up to her if you would commit to me."

"I can't do that, Rick.  Not without breaking off my engagement."

"What's stopping you?"

"I am sorry to say this, but as long as you remain under Victoria's thumb, I am very reluctant to trust you."

"I don't see your logic.  You treat me like I am married to Victoria.  Victoria is not only still married, she and her husband are living together under the same roof.  I have a moral right to pursue you.  Yes, Victoria renewed her threats when she left my house, but I think she is bluffing.  Her hold on me is very weak.  I'm not even sure she wants me all that much anymore.  Victoria hates my house, knows it is unsuitable for her daughter and that we are useless as lovers.  At one time she believed we were soul mates, but U-Turn Week taught her otherwise.  At this point, we are back to being friends again.  Now that Victoria's curiosity is satisfied, I believe she would disengage if I asked politely." 

Jennifer shook her head in disagreement.  "Nonsense.  You belong to Victoria.  She said so herself.  Victoria will never set you free.  Unless you find some way to extricate yourself, I think it is better that you and I remain friends for the time being."

I was angry that Jennifer continued to insist I get rid of Victoria before she would think about reuniting.  All the while her fiancé Jeff loomed in the background as her fallback option.  On my way home, I thought it over.  In a sense, Jennifer was playing the same game as Victoria.  Both women used one man to control the other.  If I was Victoria's spare tire, then Jeff was Jennifer's spare tire.  Or maybe I was Jennifer's spare tire.  What made me think I was Jennifer's first option?  No wonder I felt deflated all the time [forgive the pun].

Did I dare risk confronting Victoria?  It irritated me no end that Jennifer insisted on keeping her fiancé in the picture.  The way I saw it, as long as Jennifer kept me at arm's length, she was not committed to me.  If things got messy with Victoria, Jennifer could very easily run back to Jeff again and leave me hanging.  Until I saw a return of Jennifer's affection, I wasn't going to gamble losing my studio due to a risky act of defiance.  At some point something had to give, but this waiting game was driving me crazy.  Right now we were five people playing a weird game of musical chairs.  Someone was going to be the odd man out and it would probably be me at the rate we were going.  On the other hand, I could sense Jennifer was softening.  Although we were still at an impasse, maybe some night I could catch Jennifer with her guard down.  Stranger things have been known to happen.