MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER FORTY ONE:

ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

Written by Rick Archer 

LIMBO MONTH TWO Monday, NOVEMBER 19, 1979 MICHAEL MOVES OUT

Monday, November 19, was notable for the Ides of Waltz incident involving Devin and Mona.  However my dire Waltz premonition was not the only problem.  So many things had gone wrong during the Western class that I was barely keeping it together.   Consequently, when I got home, I took a long walk with the dogs to clear the heebie-jeebies from my mind. 

Shortly after I returned home from my walk, the phone rang at 11 pm.  It was Victoria in tears.  She wasn't just crying, she was hysterical.  Between sobs, Victoria said she was angry at me for not answering the phone earlier tonight. 

"Calm down, Victoria.  I had problems in my Western class tonight, so I had to stay late at the studio.  Then I had to take the dogs for a walk."

"I don't believe you.  Tell me the truth.  Are you seeing Madame X again?"

"No, Victoria," I lied.  "You have nothing to worry about [another lie].  Take a deep breath, you are overreacting.  You called when I was outside with Emily and Sissy.  I'm sorry.  So tell me what's bothering you so much."

Victoria did indeed calm down a bit, but she was still very shaken.  Through her sobs, Victoria managed to tell me that her husband Michael had shocked her by moving out of the house tonight.  Victoria had been completely blindsided.  Michael had come home from work in a very bad mood.  After spending some time with Stephanie, Michael had gone straight to his bedroom and shut the door.  Victoria tried to speak to him, but Michael forcefully told her to leave him alone.  Unbeknownst to Victoria, he was packing a suitcase.  When he came out to kiss Stephanie goodnight, Victoria expected he would sit down with her and explain what was going on.  Instead Michael had gone back in his bedroom, then returned with two suitcases. 

"Victoria, I have rented a furnished apartment.  I am moving out."

That is all Michael had said.  He walked out the front door without another word.  Apparently Michael was at his new apartment as we spoke.  Victoria was very shaken at the thought of spending her first night home alone with her daughter.  Michael's absence had her badly spooked. 

To be honest, I was a little spooked myself.  "I don't get it, Victoria.  It has been a month and a half since you moved back home.  This entire time you have complained to me that you wished Michael would leave.  You said you were mad at him for refusing to leave.   So he gave you what you want and now you are unhappy."

"Yes, but there was an ugly incident over the weekend I haven't told you about.  On Friday night, we really got into it.  It was the worst yet.  I guess we raised our voices quite a bit.  There was shouting.  Shortly after Michael yelled at me, I heard Stephanie crying in her room and so did Michael.  The two of us opened the door to discover our daughter was in her room scared out of her wits.  She was clutching her little teddy bear like it was her last friend in the world.  Her pitiful crying shook Michael up really bad.  He realized the only way to stop arguing in her presence was to move out.  He was mad at me for provoking him and he was mad at himself for losing control.  He certainly wasted no time once he made up his mind.  He didn't even tell me he was going to do this or I would have tried to talk him out of it."

"I am still confused.  I thought you wanted him to leave."

"Yeah, I did, but I've changed my mind.  I hate being here alone.  I wish he would come back."

Talk about indecisive.  I had never met anyone in my life who had a more difficult time trying to figure out what she really wanted than Victoria.  When Victoria told me that story, it broke my heart.  That story hit way too close to home for comfort.   It reminded me how I cried myself to sleep countless times when my parents argued.  My parents had no idea how much their voices carried.  The teddy bear angle really got to me.  Age 9 at the time, I did the same thing with my dog Terry.  I would wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his fur.  I would cry my heart out as if Terry was my last friend in the world.  Fortunately, Michael and Victoria were far better parents than mine had been.  Their mutual concern for their daughter forced them to be decent to each other in her presence.  How two people who hated each other so much could cooperate so beautifully where their daughter was concerned struck me as a small miracle.  However, now that Michael had discovered his daughter knew all along that they had been fighting, he decided to leave for the good of the child. 

"Now that Michael is gone, what do you think this means for you?"

"It makes the chances of our getting a divorce seem a lot more likely.  I am scared out of my wits."

I was afraid Victoria would say that.  Jennifer wasn't going to like this.  Jennifer was convinced if Michael ever moved out of the house, Victoria would take me off the bench and promote me to first-string Boyfriend.  It crossed my mind that maybe I should wait a while before sharing this bad news with Jennifer.  However, I put that aside for the moment because something more important bothered me.  I could not help but wonder for the millionth time why Victoria would ruin what seemed like a perfectly good marriage.  Why was she so determined to throw away a terrific husband in return for a struggling dance teacher with little money, a run-down house and dubious career hopes?  Considering how important financial security was to Victoria, I was hardly the guy she wanted to replace her husband. 

Victoria was such a mystery to me.  She talked all the time, but never said anything that helped me understand her.  All she ever did was blame Michael for this, that and the other thing.  Or if she wasn't blaming him, she was blaming me.  Although I had inquired many times, Victoria still refused to share what thoughts had passed through her mind during the ill-fated U-Turn Week.  Surely she had to be disappointed at how poorly things had turned out.  There had been absolutely no spark between us.  Now I was back to being Puppet Boy.  For the past month, all Victoria did was keep me captive, ignore me, and boss me around when she did see me.  If she didn't want me, why insist on keeping me around?  With Disco gasping on its deathbed, what did she see in me?  As Victoria had made clear long ago, I was a distant second best to her husband in every way.  Previously I had one thing of value to offer.  That was to escort her in public at Camelot and make her look good on the dance floor.  But those days were over.  My days as exalted King Richard of Camelot were long gone.  With my value diminished, no woman in her right mind would throw away a husband like Michael.

The problem with self-destructive behavior is the difficulty to start acting in a healthy way again.  You can't just snap your fingers.  Take me for example.  I knew full well my refusal to visit a country-western dance club was extremely self-destructive.  I was risking my entire career by teaching this Western class blind.  The only sensible solution was to visit a western club on a scouting mission and see things first-hand.  But did I do this?  Not so far.  I had promised myself several times I would go dancing, but never found the willpower necessary to force myself to do it.  I knew my procrastination was insane, but I couldn't seem to cure myself.

Same thing for Victoria.  She could not seem to force herself to do the right thing and mend fences with Michael.  She knew damn well Michael was superior to anything I had to offer, but had insisted on pursuing me regardless.  Then once she had me, she could not care less.  Every poet since the dawn of time has concluded that women are inscrutable, but in my opinion Victoria took the cake.  What made this woman tick?  I finally gave up and decided it would be easier to write a book about Fate than try to explain Victoria.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 20 TUESDAY CAR TALK

It was Tuesday, November 20.  Still plagued with premonitions over Devin and Mona's Waltz request last night, I was dying to see Glen today and ask him some questions about the Waltz.  However, Glen was out of town for the entire Thanksgiving week.  This irritated me no end.  I needed all the help I could get to survive next Monday's showdown.

Despite my worries about the upcoming Monday class, I was in a fairly good mood.  Jennifer had asked me to come over tomorrow night, Wednesday, on the eve of Thanksgiving.  That sounded very promising.  Given how close we had come to making love last week, I fully expected our next visit would return her to my arms.  Given this much-needed boost to my hopes, some of my missing confidence returned.  I decided tonight after class I would make my long-awaited trip to Cowboy for a scouting mission.

Unfortunately, with her life in crisis, Victoria ruined my plans.  After class she insisted I follow her outside the studio for Car Talk.  Sick with anxiety over breaking my promise to visit a club tonight, Puppet Boy reluctantly followed his Master to the car.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 21 THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING

After class on Wednesday, November 21, I drove over to see Jennifer.  The timing was perfect.  Since tomorrow was Thanksgiving, Jennifer would not have to go to work in the morning.  This improved my chances to spend the night.  Judging by the enthusiasm in her voice when we last talked, I believed Jennifer was on the same page.  I glanced hopefully at the bottle of wine sitting on the passenger's seat.  I dearly hoped Jennifer would end up in my arms tonight.  I could hardly wait to relax on the couch and pick up right where we left off one week ago.  I smiled at the memory of how we had come close to making love.  Since then, we had talked warmly on the phone several times.  All signs pointed to a renewal of our romance.

However, I faced a dilemma.  Should I tell Jennifer about Michael or should I keep my mouth shut?  I debated the issue till I was blue in the face.  If I told Jennifer what had happened, I would get points for candor.  However my admission would risk upsetting her at this critical juncture.  If I kept my mouth shut, things would resume right where we left off a week ago.  But she would explode when she learned the truth and scream at me for concealing the truth.

There was nothing Jennifer hated more than lies of omission.  My failure to tell Jennifer about Victoria at the beginning of our relationship had caused her to badly overreact and bring Jeff back in the picture.  On the other hand, the timing of Michael's departure could not have been worse.  I was certain this development would not sit well with Jennifer.  Knowing how skittish she was, Jennifer could easily overreact again if I told her Michael had moved out of Victoria's house.  On the other hand, I firmly believed if I kept my mouth shut, we would make love.  I would not even have to lie.  All I had to do was avoid discussing the latest development for a while. 

I once had a buddy who firmly believed that women are too fragile to be handed the unvarnished truth.  For that reason, some things are better left unsaid for their own good.  He was proud to point out that 'Deceit' had gotten him laid far more often than telling the truth.

However, Deceit was not part of my nature.  I felt Jennifer deserved the truth.  What I really wanted was to restore Jennifer's shaken trust in me.  The start of all our problems had come when Jennifer learned about Victoria from a girlfriend instead of me.  Ever since she had accused me of hiding things from her.  That was major factor to be considered.  Withholding the truth would get Jennifer back in my arms, but what would happen down the road?  My mind conjured up a catastrophic scenario. 

"Rick, you deliberately withheld telling me about Michael so I would sleep with you.  Well, aren't you proud of yourself?  You got lucky, whoopee for you, but I will never trust you again.  We are done.  I deserved the truth."

That scenario seemed plausible.  If I could just get things straightened out, I wanted to marry Jennifer.  To me, half-truths and lies of omission were certainly not the answer in the long run.  Therefore, with a heavy heart I decided to tell Jennifer about the latest development.  Bad move.  Jennifer lost her temper immediately.   She screamed "Goddamnit!" at the top her lungs.  Then she bolted up off the couch, grabbed two pillows and threw them both against the wall.  Then she picked up another one and threw it at me for good measure.  As I listened to her rant and rave, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.  Too late now.  Considering how hard Jennifer always tried to stay under control, this was the first time I ever saw her lose her temper quite like this.  Then Jennifer glared at me as if Michael's decision was my fault.  I groaned.  Here we go again.  Back in the dog house.

"Rick, this is serious.  No woman throws her husband out of the house unless she means business.  If Victoria just gave her husband the heave-ho, then surely she is clearing the deck to make room for you!  Next thing you know, she will expect you to spend the night.  Who knows where it will go from there.  Mark my words!  I swear to God, as long as you live, you will never get rid of that woman.  Fate has tied you two together at the hip."

Oh great, now Jennifer was back in Soothsayer mode.  Which was worse, the Ides of Waltz or the Ides of Victoria? 

"Please calm down, Jennifer, you are are overreacting.  Michael's departure did not take place the way you think it did.  It was Michael's idea to leave, not Victoria's.  He did it for the sake of the child.  If you could have heard the lack of enthusiasm in Victoria's voice when we talked last night, you would realize she doesn't want me any more.  In fact, Victoria gave me a lecture last night that I am not allowed to touch her."

Jennifer stopped for a moment and stared at me in confusion.  "I don't believe you.  You're making this up."

I couldn't help myself, so I laughed.  "No, I'm serious.  Victoria actually had the nerve to tell me her lawyer ordered her not to kiss me under any circumstances.  Then she turned around and forbade me to come anywhere near her."

"Why would she do that?  She claims you as her boyfriend but forbids you to touch her?  This woman makes no sense at all!"

"Tell me about it.  Victoria is very crafty.  She is the master of repeating something someone else said as a way of getting her message across.  In this case, this No Touch rule is the lawyer's idea, not hers, or so she says.  This gets her off the hook in case I decide to get frisky.  The funny thing is I never know for sure if she is making this stuff up or if it is the truth."

Jennifer became suspicious.  "Have you had sex with her since she moved out?"

"Heavens no, Jennifer.  I have been praying you would come back to me."

Jennifer began to calm down a bit.  "I guess I see her point.  She wants to keep her options open with Michael and doesn't want you complicating anything more than you have already.  I am sorry I lost my temper.  This wasn't your fault, I'm just so disappointed right now.  I would come back to you in a flash if I could just believe Victoria won't drop another bomb on us."

Ah!  Now that sounds more like it.  I began to get my hopes up again.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about.  Michael's decision to leave has shaken Victoria more than anything I have ever seen.  There's a line in a Joni Mitchell song, 'You don't know what you've got till it's gone.'  That pretty much sums up Victoria's attitude right now.  For the first time, Victoria has a clear vision of what her future feels like without Michael and she's not happy about it.  Victoria is far too worried about her own problems to put up any kind of a fight for me.  If anything, I think the coast is more clear than ever before.  Please trust me on this.  All you have to do is say the word and I am ready to drop the axe.  I want to be with you."

I studied Jennifer's reaction.  I could tell by her skeptical expression that she was not persuaded.  Finally she spoke up. 

"I don't agree with a word you say.  It took an unbelievable amount of guts for Victoria to let her husband walk out that door.  Michael is Victoria's meal ticket.  Based on what you have told me, the man is solid as a rock.  If she threw him out of the house, she will need reassurance.  That also means she will need a job.  That's where you come in.  She will need you twice as much as before.  If you're lucky, she might even let you touch her again.  Knowing you, I'm sure you would cooperate as usual.  All she has to do is take her clothes off."

Ouch!  I didn't let Jennifer know, but she got me good.  Jennifer was very bitter; this did not look good.  Jennifer took a long breath, then continued. 

"Rick, the only way we can see each other is to sneak behind her back.  We can never have a normal relationship and I don't want to be your mistress again.  I don't care what you say.  You can pursue me all you want, but Victoria will reel you back in when it is her whim to do so.  She will never leave the dance studio and she certainly won't tolerate me the moment her intuition picks up my scent again.  This woman will never willingly set you free!  Don't you see that?"

A wave of nausea rushed over me.  Jennifer was really upset.  This was serious trouble.

"Jennifer, you are wrong.  For crying out loud, just stand by me!  Back me on this and I will fight for my freedom.  Victoria can keep her damn job.  She teaches in a different room at the studio.  I pay her a salary.  What is wrong with that?  Besides, she hates Western.  The moment Western takes over, Victoria will quit the studio.  I am sure of it."

"I'll believe it when I see it." 

"You are wrong.  Victoria's threat is meaningless.  I am not afraid of her any more.  What can Victoria do to me?  Her marriage is shattered and her husband just walked out the door.  If she makes the slightest mistake, she could lose custody of her daughter.  If she tries to blackmail me again, I will retaliate with threats of my own.  I will vow to help Michael get custody.  She can destroy me, but I can destroy her even worse.  I don't like to play dirty, but I will if it is necessary.  One good threat and she will fold like a wet rag.  Don't you see this?  Victoria is crippled.  Furthermore, she has lost interest in me.  She said it herself...'I still want you in my life, but not at the moment.'  Jennifer, I am not in Victoria's plans!"

"You are completely self-deceived, Rick.  As long as I am around, you will never find a way to stand up to her and save your studio at the same time.  You should have kept me a secret, but it's too late now.  You cannot have me and keep your studio too.  It's me or the studio.  Victoria won't allow both.  She is too spiteful.  I don't want to be anywhere near you when you see the dreams of your lifetime go down the drain.  Not only will you shoot yourself, you might shoot me too out of despair."

"Stop being so pessimistic!  Don't you see, Victoria has more to lose than me!  This is the time to fight!  Right now!"

Jennifer shook her head in disgust.

"You know something, Rick?  You're like Charley Brown and Lucy.  Every time you think you have Victoria figured out, she picks up the football and you fall on your ass in the grass.  I am sorry, Rick, but that woman plays you like a fiddle.  When it comes to politics, Victoria runs circles around you.  Let's face it, you got thrown out of graduate school because you couldn't play politics.  Then you let this woman get her tentacles wrapped around you.  Then you let the woman walk into your goddamn house because you don't have a backbone.  Then your pants fall off and you blame Fate.  I'm sick of it.  This has gone on for over a year and you have lost every skirmish.  So what makes you think you can win this next round?" 

That was the most vicious thing Jennifer ever said to me.  My pride was really hurt.  As I stared in anger at Jennifer, I recalled how Patricia used to say the same things about Victoria.  It was almost like Jennifer was reading from the same script.  But I didn't agree with Jennifer that I was a loser.  I didn't agree with Patricia either.  I had one goal in life and that was to create a dance studio.  Yes, I suppose I had made a Devil's Bargain by letting Victoria get control over me, but no matter how much anguish that woman caused me, I would never forget how instrumental she had been helping me to attain that goal.   

Jennifer grew silent for a moment, so I asked myself a strange question.  If God had come to me and said he would offer me a friend who would help me build the dance studio at the cost of my pride, would I have taken the bargain?   My answer would have been yes.  If kowtowing to Victoria was the price I had to pay to keep my dreams, then I would deliberately swallow my pride and do her bidding.  However, as far as I was concerned, my Devil's Bargain had run its course.  The time had come when I could get rid of Victoria by force any time I wanted to.  One good threat to hand Stephanie to Michael would do the trick.  However, it was not in my nature to deliberately hurt Victoria.  I needed a reason.  And that reason was up to Jennifer.  I was willing to have the unpleasant talk necessary to free myself from Victoria, but only if Jennifer assured me she would not run back to Jeff the moment things got rocky. 

"Jennifer, I am willing to stand up to Victoria and fight for what is right.  But I won't do this unless you promise to stand beside me."

Jennifer said nothing.  She sat there mulling it over.  I did not like her body language at all.  She still wasn't buying it.  After a considerable pause, she spoke up.

"Rick, you are nuts to underestimate Victoria.  Right now she senses you are being a good boy.  But the moment you make a move, like a cat she will be right back at you.  She will come to the studio, throw a tantrum and claw your face open right in front of your horrified students.  I know this kind of woman!  I knew a girl in college just like her.  Victoria is a witch.  She will retaliate with every bit of venom in her being.  I am sure of it.  Your problem is that you are logical.  Victoria is not logical, she is sick.  She will make a scene at the studio like no other, then write that poison letter for good measure.  Then she will get up on the goddamn witness stand and lie through her teeth about how you played her for a fool, then cry her head off like no other.  No one is going to take her kid away from her.  Women like Victoria always get their way.  In the end your dance career will be ruined once she is finished with you."

I felt a wave of futility wash over me.  I prayed that Jennifer would quit acting so defeated.  I think Jennifer realized how disappointed I was.  After a moment of silence, when Jennifer continued, her voice was softer. 

"Rick, I know you care about me.  I appreciate that you are willing to risk everything for me.  But you are blind.  You are not being realistic.  Victoria is vindictive.   If she fears she going to lose her marriage and her daughter, she will take you down with her.  Face it, Victoria is willing to hurt you worse than you can ever imagine.  Look what she did to her husband.  She will do the same to you.  If you defy her, she will make damn sure you suffer by destroying your studio.  Right now she is playing you by being sweet again.  That's her game, but don't trust her.  She will cut you to pieces if you dare cross her."

I took a long breath.  I thought Jennifer was wrong, but I did see her point.  I understood why Jennifer felt the way she did, but she did not see Victoria's face in the car last night.  All Victoria cared about was hanging on to her daughter.  But Jennifer wouldn't listen to me.  Jennifer was far more intimidated by Victoria than me.  No amount of persuasion on my part could put the slightest dent in her pessimism.  Jennifer was convinced Victoria was coming to murder me, marry me or maim me, maybe all three.  I hated the logic of women.  How do I counteract this?  How could Jennifer and I come so close and suddenly be so far?  What irritated me the most was that I had done nothing wrong.  My only sin was tell the woman the truth and I got this painful tongue-lashing in return.  As they say, no good deed goes unpunished.  Well, I wasn't going to give up that easily. 

"Jennifer, listen to me.  Victoria knows that she and I are hopeless.  She learned during U-Turn Week that there is no passion between us.  She is just keeping me around for security because she is scared.  My instincts say that her focus is back on Michael.  When that happens, she will let me go, I'm sure of it.  Besides, even if Victoria still wants me, so what?  I have eyes for you, Jennifer.  This is the truth.  So why won't you believe me?  If you will stand by my side, I will put Victoria in her place.  But you have to back me!  I won't take this dangerous path without your promise to stand by me."

Jennifer started to sob.  She quickly grabbed a pillow to hide her tears.  I tried to go over to her, but she put her hand up and refused to let me come near. 

"I can't stand by you, at least not tonight.  I have to give this more thought.  I do believe you mean well, Rick, but it's no use.  I will never recover if that woman shows up on your doorstep a second time.  I just can't do it.  I won't take that chance.  Right now I don't feel very good, so you should go."

I felt sick. 

"Jennifer, there has to be some way to work through this.  Please let me stay and talk this through.  I'll sleep on the couch."

"No, not the way I feel right now.  I am so sick of this drama I could spit.  I know that Michael moving out isn't your fault, but I can't take it anymore.  Please go."

As I drove home feeling defeated, I realized that Victoria was a born fighter and Jennifer was just the opposite.  The contrast could not have more obvious.  Given the choice to fight back or flee, Jennifer would always head for the hills.