SUNDAY, September 26, 2004, 1:00-1:45 pm

MARLA'S DESPAIR

During my crazy and quite futile search for my aunt and mother, I was totally unaware of the unfolding drama back at the wedding venue.  No one had any idea what was going on.  All I had to do was step around the wall, explain, apologize, and then take off.  30 seconds would have been sufficient.  Unfortunately, it never crossed my mind that I was invisible.  Consequently, once we took off, the guests were completely in the dark.  All they knew was that Rick had sprinted off for no good reason and Mike and Tom were chasing him, probably to persuade him to go through with the ceremony.

Did the guests know my mother was missing?  No.  Did they know Aunt Lynn was missing?  No.  Did the wedding coordinator know why I took off running?  No.  Everyone was completely in the dark.  What a comedy of errors.  First the traffic.  Then Sam.  Then Lynn.  Then the shoes.  Then the music problem.  Now the groom was nowhere in sight.  It boggles the mind. 

So what did the guests think?  Alien Abduction perhaps.  But not likely.  A more ominous explanation was that poor Marla had been jilted.  Maybe Tom and Mike were in Rick's cabin this very minute trying to change his mind.  As each second ticked off the clock without an explanation, the unthinkable became more thinkable.   Everyone knew that I loved Marla, but the longer they remained in the dark, their doubts increased.  The whispers were getting louder, the rumors more ominous.  Where is Rick?  Where are Tom and Mike? 

Keep in mind that no one present had ever met Mary or Aunt Lynn before today.  For some reason, the women's absence never quite registered as a possible explanation for my disappearance.  It would have helped if the wedding coordinator had mentioned that her suggestion to walk my mother into the ceremony had preceded my sudden departure.  Sheila's failure to mention this important tidbit contributed mightily to this terrible moment. 

One would ordinarily assume this kind of chaotic nonsense only occurs in the most far-fetched sit-com.  I am here to avow that this story is completely true.  Meanwhile a certain bride-to-be was in tears.  So what about Marla?  What was running through her mind?  During the search drama, Marla was isolated from the wedding guests.  She stood backstage with Mara, Sam, and Marissa waiting for the show to begin.  Think of all the things she missed.  Marla did not know about my shoe adventure.  Marla did not know about Gary's missing wedding music.  Marla did not know about the mystery of the missing aunt and mother.  All Marla knew was that I was missing and we were running late!  Marla was furious.  It was 1:10.  It was 1:20.  It was 1:30.  Fuming, Marla sent Mara in to see what was causing the delay. 

Mara addressed the crowd.  "Hey, everybody, what is going on out here?  Marla wants to know what the hold-up is all about."

Someone told Mara, "Rick is mad about something.  He lost his temper and ran off.  Tom and Mike chased after him.  I think they're trying to talk him into coming back."

That is the message Mara took back to Marla.  What was Marla to conclude?  Maybe Rick had decided not to marry her.  That was certainly what her friend Mara thought.  Although Mara tried to cheer Marla up and tell her not to worry, Mara later admitted the forbidden thought had crossed her mind.  Oddly enough, Marla later said she was not as much worried about being jilted as she was mad.  Which is sweet in a way.  It is comforting to know that even during the unexplained delay she believed in me.  However, her frustration was over the top and rightfully so. 

Things got worse when Sheila came backstage to ask Marla where the heck her groom was.  What kind of stupid question is that?  As if Marla had some way of knowing!  She tried hard not to cry, but it was too much.  This was when Marla broke down.  Starting to cry, her  makeup was smeared.   Finding a tissue to dab the tears, now her hair was also a mess.  Plus her bouquet had wilted, an enduring symbol to reflect the drama.  The minutes continued to add up.  With the delay approaching one hour, Marla was miserable. 

"This is my Wedding Day!  I planned everything down to the last detail!  How could things possibly get any worse than this?" 

Finally at 1:50 pm, there was news.  Tom and Mike arrived to announce I would appear shortly, then explained what on earth had gone wrong.  Mercifully, Sheila went backstage.  This wild story sounded preposterous to Mara.  To her, it sounded like a very fishy excuse meant to conceal the truth.  Fortunately, Marla believed every word.  Since she "knew" my mother, this explanation actually made sense to her.  I think this is when her frustration hit the ceiling.  Marla vowed she was going to get married whether my aunt and mother were present or not.  However, until I showed up, she had no choice but to wait.  Forced to stand there fuming with her wilted flowers for company, the cynical would suggest she marry me first, then push me off the balcony later that night.

WHAT WENT WRONG?

2 pm

THE CEREMONY BEGINS

2-3 pm

WEDDING RECEPTION

After the ceremony was complete, Marla turned to face the guests.  She quipped, "Like most brides, I dreamed of a perfect wedding.  And what did I get instead?  I got an 'Oops Wedding!'" 

Marla's comment brought a touching explosion of laughter and happiness.  Noting the considerable smile of relief on both our faces, our guests took turns with heartfelt hugs and handshakes. 

Now that the tension was over, it was time for lunch and some much-needed champagne.  Things had been touch and go for an entire hour.  I received a lot of teasing, but fortunately no one gave me a hard time.  I think the guests understood how guilty I felt over the hour delay.  They also understood that not everything that went wrong had been my fault.  One person at a time, I apologized for all the problems.  On the contrary, they said, this was the most entertaining wedding they had ever been to.  Ouch!

There were several kind toasts made by our guests.  I deeply appreciated Marla's brothers Neil and Larry when they gave me a very warm welcome to the family.  However, it was Marissa who brought the house down.  Marissa had been aloof when I first met Marla, preferring to take a wait and see attitude.  I think she assumed I was eventually going to hurt her mother like the other guys, so why give me the time of day?  

Since Marissa had been away at college for the past three years, I rarely saw her.  When she was around, Marissa was quiet and reserved as is her nature.  As a result I did not realize her opinion of me had secretly improved over the past three years.  To my surprise, she paid me a very kind compliment.  Marissa started by saying how happy I made her mother.  She went on to add she had seen how sad and lonely her mother had been during her high school years.  That is when Marissa began cry.  Through tears, Marissa told everyone how happy she was that Marla had finally met a man who made her mother smile instead of cry.  Now it was our turn to cry.  Marissa's heartfelt comment evoked tears from everyone in the room.  As Marla and Marissa embraced in a giant hug, we all went in search of Kleenex.  This was a very special moment.

I later thanked Marissa and got a big hug in return.  I told her that was a really sweet thing for her to say.  Considering Marissa had seen how upset her mother had been during my unexplained absence prior to the ceremony, I was grateful she forgave me for putting her mother through such an ordeal.  I was also relieved to know Marissa had developed a trust in me.  Neil, Ellen, Larry, Roz took turns welcoming me, but it was Marissa's finishing touch that meant the most.  Since I was an only child from a broken home, the warmth displayed to me by my new family meant a lot to me.

2:30 pm

OUR WEDDING DANCE

Unfortunately we never got our wasted hour back.  The Rhapsody wedding rules were clear.  Use it or lose it.  We had planned for an hour of dancing at our reception, but that was out of the question.  Due to our late start, we were practically out of time and the dancing had not even started yet.  We had enough time to do our Wedding dance, then play two songs for our guests to dance to.  Oh well.  At least everyone had been treated to a wedding they would never forget.  That was the understatement of the century.

At 2:40 pm it was time for the wedding dance.  However, before we walked out, Marla gave me a really hard kick in the butt. 

"What was that for?" I protested.  As if I didn't know.

"You scared me to death, you jerk, and you ruined my makeup.  You better make me look good on the dance floor."

Fortunately, Marla's wish was easy to grant.  Considering that Marla is a fabulous dancer, she was the very picture of Cinderella at the Ball.  Marla and I waltzed to a pretty instrumental version of "A Time for Us" from Romeo and Juliet.  

Normally the First Dance is a moment of great anxiety among grooms.  In a survey about wedding preparation, 500 wedding couples agreed if they had to do it all over again, they would prepare for their wedding dance much sooner.  Fortunately I had a head start.  I had been preparing for this highlight moment for the past 25 years.  In addition, Marla and I had practiced our Waltz every Sunday night after class for the past four months.  I was more than ready.  Nevertheless, despite my careful preparation, I still managed to make a mistake. 

In the middle of the song I led a very fancy move.    From the crowd, someone whispered, "Oh, how lovely!"  Curious, I looked up to see who had complimented my dancing.  In the process I forgot where I was in the pattern and was forced to briefly stop, get set, then start again.  It was not an obvious goof, so I hoped it would go unnoticed.  No such luck.  

Sharon Crawford, the studio's favorite Waltz teacher, let out a chuckle as she watched with her fiancé Bill Shaw from above.  Considering Sharon's considerable talent as a dancer, I reddened.  Oh well, no one's perfect.  To be honest, I didn't mind.  Marla and I were flawless otherwise.  I am pleased to say we received several warm compliments. 

As a side note, I am glad I made that mistake.  Over the years, I would help countless young men prepare for their own wedding dance.  Part of the preparation included what to do when the inevitable mistake takes place.  Several over-confident men protested this would never happen to them.  I would always laugh, then give them 'The Lecture'.

"I am closest thing there is to perfect when it comes to a wedding dance, so if I can make a mistake, then you are certain to make a mistake.  Fortunately, it does not matter.  No one cares if you make a mistake, your guests love you.  They won't mind a bit if you mess up.  They just want to see you and your bride look happy.  So don't worry about it.  The most important thing is to keep smiling."

It was 3 pm, time to go.  The Coordinator scooted us out.  However, I very much wanted a group picture, so I took them downstairs to the Centrum, a lovely atrium in the center of the ship.  So far Gary Richardson had taken all of our wedding pictures.  When he volunteered to take our group picture, I fussed at him.  "Get in the picture, Gary.  I will find somebody else." 

Sheila was tailing us, probably to make sure everyone left the ship promptly as required.  On the spot, I decided to put her to work.  Sheila lined up everyone up on the stairs, ladies in front, men in back.  Considering Sheila took a very good picture, I think she had performed this task before.  Sheila's photograph captured a special moment in time.  It marked a very happy conclusion to a very unusual day for a very happy group of people.  However, all good things have to end eventually.  Sheila pointed to her watch and indicated it was time for the afternoon guests to depart. 

Before they headed back to Houston, one by one our guests thanked us so much for inviting them.  Several commented on how beautiful the ship was.  Had they known in advance how beautiful the ship was and 'how romantic' our wedding had been [I'm not sure Marla would agree with them], they wished they could come with us on the cruise trip that was to follow. 

I thanked them for their kind words and said I wished they could come along too.  One couple wasn't just being polite.  Patty and Joe really meant it!  They had never been on a cruise ship before, so they had no idea the ship was so beautiful.  This seemed like such a wonderful way to spend a vacation.  Now they were jealous.  They couldn't bear the thought that we were headed off to a week of surf and sand while they were stuck driving back to Houston's concrete jungle.  Sure enough, Joe surprised Patty with a spot on our next scheduled cruise the following year. 

After the group picture, it was time for the group of 30 to split up.  Larry, Shira, and Roz would stay.  Neil and Ellen would go.  George Sargent would stay, George Grega would go.  Aunt Lynn and Mary would stay, Bill and Sharon would go.  Paul Foltyn stayed, Carl and Margaux left.  Gary and Betty stayed, Tom and Margaret left.  Mike and Trish said goodbye, but Mara remained on board.  Also leaving were Joe and Patty, Marty and Adele, MG and Gay, Marlies and Shane.  One by one our departing guests hugged us, shook my hand, gave Marla a kiss and said their goodbyes.  I have to say, considering all the headaches, our guests were really nice to us.  We had subjected these people to excruciating traffic, made them twiddle their thumbs for a full hour, then robbed them of a chance to dance in a romantic setting during the reception.  But you would never know it from all the kindness they bestowed.  Everyone continued to claim this was the most romantic wedding they had ever been to.  A fib no doubt.  What they meant to say was this was the strangest wedding they had ever been.  But that is why they were our friends.  Friends find a polite way to soften what they really think.  Bless your hearts and thank you for coming.

4 pm

THE BIG BOO-HOO

So far 16 of our guests had left the ship while 10 of our 30 guests remained behind to join us for the seven-day cruise.  The 10 who stayed on board were anxious to get to their cabins and see if their luggage had arrived.  So do the math, the final four were Marla, me, and our two daughters.  The two girls were last to leave and they were NOT happy about it.  Marissa and Sam took turns twisting the guilt button for not taking them along.

This had been a tough decision.  Marla and I had agonized over whether to take them along or let them resume their education.  I was in favor of bringing them, but Marla put her foot down.  Ultimately, we decided their education was more important although neither of the young ladies agreed.  In Hindsight, was this the right thing to do?  Sam had Eighth Grade at Duchesne Academy, Marissa had Senior Year at Texas State.  But the real reason is that daughters from previous marriages do not belong on honeymoons  [Psst!  This is a deep, dark secret, so don't tell them.]

Nevertheless, it was really tough to say goodbye to our girls.  Their tears and pitiful eyes did not help.  Oh well, a sad moment for all of us.  On the other hand, it would not take long for the joy from a great day to return.  After many sad, but happy boo-hoos, our beautiful young ladies in their red dresses were on their way back to Houston.  Marissa dropped Sam off with her mother, then headed on to Texas State University to complete her Senior year 'Summa Cum Laude'.

4 pm

ALONE TOGETHER IN THE CENTRUM

We had asked that our group picture be taken in the Centrum area on a staircase, so after everyone was gone, that is where we stayed.  Once we were alone, Marla and I looked for the nearest sofa and collapsed.  We were very fortunate to have comfortable places nearby because we were too exhausted to collapse anywhere else.  Make that beyond exhausted. 

As we melted into our sofa, I reminded Marla that we still had the Second Reception for our 125 cruise guests.  This event would start in two hours.  Marla groaned and shook her head.  There was no way she had the strength for that.  But if we could just rest here for a moment, maybe we could find a second wind.  Holding hands, we sat in silence for quite a while.

I had always wondered if there was some way to avoid the dreaded Seesaw Effect.  In the past I always had to choose between the studio and my love life.  Today my prayer had been answered.  I had finally found a woman I loved who would not make me choose between duty and romance.  Thanks to her Travel Magic, Marla had organized three very successful cruise trips in a row.  We did not know it at the time, but this trip marked the dawn of Marla's sensational Love Boat Era.  In the years to come, Marla's genius at organizing cruise trips would allow us to see the world together. 

I admired Marla so much.  Feeling very close, I said, "Where would I be without you?  This was a wonderful wedding.  I am really proud of you."

Marla half-grinned, half-frowned.  "Yeah, and look how you repay me.  Most most brides hope for a perfect wedding.  Thanks to you, I got an 'Oops' Wedding!'"

Considering how guilty I felt, I was very relieved when she added a smile.  It was 4 pm at this point.  Just then an announcement for the life boat drill came over the loudspeaker.  We both groaned.  Although participation was mandatory, we were too tired to move.  Lacking the energy to force ourselves to get up, we waited for the inevitable crew person to bully us into leaving.  

To our surprise, no one came.  With me in my tuxedo and Marla in her lovely wedding gown, I guess the staff decided to let us be King and Queen for the day.  Or maybe we had been sitting there so long we were mistaken for part of the furniture.  Whatever the reason, no one wanted to bother us.  This was a privilege I was deeply grateful for.  We needed this chance to rest!

Grinning with delight at being allowed to skip the life boat drill, Marla and I let out an audible sigh of relief.  As we relaxed to the music, just then a pretty song came on.  It was an instrumental version of As Time Goes By, the famous song from Casablanca.  Like magic, some of our energy returned.  I could not resist and neither could Marla.  After dragging ourselves to our feet, we half-stumbled, half-crawled to the nearby dance floor, then melted into each other's arms.  I know it is cynical to say this, but for a few moments we were mostly concerned with holding each other upright.

Eventually our strength was restored and we began swaying to the slow tempo.  It was a sweet moment.  We were very much in love, a love that has never diminished.  By chance, a friend spotted us dancing and took a picture.  I did not see her snap the photo, but I am so glad she did.  Her kind gesture allowed us to memorialize this very special moment on our wedding day.

When the song ended, we kissed.  With our spirits lifted, we made our slow but steady way to our cabin.  Holding hands on the elevator, Marla and I were as happy as we could possibly be.  This day had been quite an adventure, much crazier than either of us had expected.  One never knows how a wedding will turn out.  This had been the rollercoaster event of a lifetime, but I have to say things turned out okay in the end.  All's Well That Ends Well.