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The Waltz Kings

Jim Garrison and Bill Stumph were normal guys. In a crowd, they would not be the first men you noticed one way or the other. Bill did something with physics research, Jim did something with computers. Although both men were very bright, neither guy was pulling in the bucks. Nor were either of them particularly big; both men were around 5’ 10", 150 lbs.  In my opinion, when it came to women, they needed an edge. Yet back in the early days of the studio in 1981 these two men were the life of every dance party. They were the Waltz Kings !

Women would literally flock to their side when a Waltz came on. Each man had his choice of 10 ladies. And don’t think for a moment they weren’t aware of their power. I would grin as I noticed one or the other talking animatedly to some lady. I always knew what was coming next. Sure enough, when Bill or Jim felt that he was making progress, he would come ask me to play a Waltz. Spinach for Popeye, Waltz for these two.

Moments after a lovely Waltz like "You Look So Good in Love" would come on, Bill or Jim would be seen parading around the floor with a beautiful woman smiling and laughing in his arms. I would notice other men "sitting this one out" who watched these Supermen with awe and wonder. As George Strait would say, it was very clear to these guys that Jim and Bill were playing their Ace in the Hole.

Sorry to say, I have lost track of both men.  In 1983 Jim moved to San Antonio for a new job. Bill married a lovely lady named Diane Huber whom he met at the studio. Yes, she loved to Waltz in case you were curious. She must have loved to dance the Waltz a lot!  After all, Diane married Bill in spite of inheriting perhaps the worst last name in history. Diane and Bill moved to San Diego in 1985.

Even though they have been gone for twenty years, I will never forget either man.  I remember vividly how ladies would beg them early in the evening to Waltz with them later on.  I also remember women begging me to play an extra Waltz so they could dance with Bill or Jim!  Seeing the desperation in these women's eyes told the story - these two guys had an unbelievable racket going on here!

Bill and Jim understood that all women are transformed into Cinderella at the Ball whenever a Waltz comes on.  Women absolutely love to Waltz and they are helpless to resist the Mythology!

With exquisite leads and timing, Bill and Jim were so under control that their grateful lady partners could float and glide without a care in the world. Dancing with them was fabulous fun for the ladies. As a result of their skill, these two guys had a way with women that far surpassed what nature had offered as their opening hand in the card game of life.

These guys had an extra ace up their sleeve and they were smart enough to play their card whenever the stakes got high enough! 

Note from Rick to Reader:

How do I say this gracefully? Neither Jim Garrison on the left with Debbie Oswald nor Bill Stumph with Jann Fonteno on the right were unusually sharp dressers.  As you can see, they were normal, everyday guys.

In fact, since I knew them both well, I will say they might even be classified as nerds.  But once they learned a secret - Waltz! - they became special. 

You see, once they were on the dance floor, they became God's Gift to Women.

Neither man ever sat down unless it was by their own choice.

This is the concept of "Turf" in action.  Once a guy gets a girl to see him on his own special ground, he becomes much more attractive. 

For these two men, the dance floor was their turf.  If spinach can turn Popeye into a strongman, every Waltz did something similar for these guys.  See it for yourself.  And believe what I say! 

Dancing is the premier skill of all time for meeting women.


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Rick Gets Thrown out of Graduate School

Dancing was the light at the end of the tunnel that brought me back from the darkest period of my entire life.

In 1974, I was told to leave my graduate program at Colorado State. This was a bitter experience with failure. The truth was that I was a good student, but I had no grasp of graduate school politics. I was in the Clinical Psychology Dept. supposedly on my way to becoming a therapist. I made a poor impression on the wrong person : the Chairman of the Department. Dr Suinn was my instructor for a course called "Interviewing". I would do things like ask questions, ask him to explain something further, disagree with him on an interpretation, and defend my position. Bad moves.

Everyone else had the sense to keep their mouths shut. It probably didn't help that I was also dating his secretary. A simple trick was used to get rid of me: he gave me a "D" in his Interviewing class. There were no exams; grades were based on his opinion. Despite an A- average in 8 other courses, due to an F in politics, I was history.

Returning to Houston that summer to lick my wounds, I was severely depressed. I spent one entire month doing little else than stare at the wall and feel sorry for myself. My pride was at low ebb and I was very lonely. Finally one day I got up off the couch and managed to find a job. On the way home from work I decided I needed something to read. As I browsed through a used bookstore, a little $1 paperback titled "How to Meet Girls" caught my eye. I still have that book. For the most part the book was nonsense, but one chapter titled "Mastery" gave me the inspiration I needed to get moving again. This chapter actually changed my life.

Mastery and Turf

In a nutshell, the author said that dating is based on Darwinian "Survival of the Fittest" principles. Men have to be physically fit to even get to first base with women. After first base, progress is difficult until a man develops a sense of accomplishment. Since the beginning of time, women have been attracted to men who are successful. When you stare at a forest, the tallest trees are the ones that get noticed.  In a social setting, the people who display skill and expertise get the lion's share of attention.

The book said that many men assume that excellence at their job will help them in their social life.  Not always!

This is true only if their job is performed in front of women.  For example, a heart surgeon is powerful in the operating room and a Rock star is magic onstage, but the vast majority of men are unable to transfer their success at work into a setting where women will notice them.

For example, if a slender Nobel Prize-winning heart surgeon walked along beside a high school drop-out on the beach, the surgeon wouldn’t stand a chance of being noticed if the dropout happened to be a life guard or an Adonis surfer.

Every man has his Turf : an area in life where his skills allow him to shine above everyone else. Witness for example the story of the Waltz Kings.

In order to get noticed by women, the book recommended that a man should develop certain social skills to the point of excellence. These skills would help a man make a good impression at places outside of his job

The book listed several ideas on useful skills to help get noticed in places where you can meet single women. The Art of Conversation. Magic. Cooking. Photography. Volleyball. Skiing. Tennis. A sense of style in Clothing. Health clubs. Bridge. Of course one of the skills the book strongly recommended was dancing.

A week after buying the book I showed up for my first dance class.


Dancing is the single most effective skill in existence for meeting women.

Twenty-five years later, let me say without hesitation that Dancing belongs at the top of the List of Social Skills useful for meeting women. The others are not even close.

Dancing puts you instantly into a situation where there are many single women. Dancing allows you a graceful opportunity to approach a woman you do not even know. Although men sometimes cringe at the thought of asking a woman to dance, I am sure you will agree it is a whole lot easier to ask a lady to dance than the painful awkwardness of trying to strike up a conversation with a total stranger. Finally, you have a chance to put a beautiful woman in your arms instantly. You may barely even know her, but suddenly here she is. Now what more could you ask for ?

Well, actually, there is one thing more you could ask for... you could ask that learning the man's part to dance be made a little easier !  On our next page we discuss this very problem. 

Click here for Page Two of Advice to Men

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