Friday, October 2, 2026
Rick Archer's Note:
I did not finish the work I was telling about, but I got close
enough to send you what I was talking about.
It is a bit long, but
that is because I merged two chapter.
Enjoy.
Rick
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A SIMPLE ACT OF
KINDNESS
CHAPTER SEVENTY
SEVEN:
FATE
Written by Rick
Archer
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St. Ignatius believed we are
guided to our Destiny.
"One of the masters of spiritual life was Ignatius
of Loyola. He described a means by which we can test
whether an idea, decision, or choice is aligned with
God's will. When we contemplate an act contrary to
God's will, the Holy Ghost acts in our soul to
generate discontent, upset, a lack of peace, and other
emotions that Ignatius termed as 'desolations'. In contrast, when we act in a way aligned
with God's will, the reaction of the Holy Spirit is
described by Ignatius as 'like water dripping on a
sponge'.
We receive subtle, difficult to detect signals, but
there is a kind of peace and plentitude that quietly
fills our soul. In other words, when you acted
against God's Will, nothing seemed to go right.
However, when you began to follow the path laid out
for you even though it made no sense in practical
terms
[ taking
dance lessons], your feelings of distress began to dissipate.
I believe you
were imbued with the sense that you had been guided
to these lessons."
I happen to agree with
Ignatius. In this chapter I would like
to share
two stories to further explain why I felt 'guided'
to write this book.
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1898/1912
MORGAN
ROBERTSON
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When I wrote
the origin of this book in 2005, I made a point to
avoid any mention of God, Fate, Coincidence, Divine
Intervention and Cosmic Blindness.
Following
Maria Ballantyne's revelations in 2009 regarding Mr.
Salls, I expanded the her 2005 Intervention Story to include
my Headmaster. Here again
I made a point
to avoid any mention of Supernatural involvement.
When Maria
visited me in 2010, she suggested turning my 2009
story into a complete book. After selling my dance
studio later that year, I began writing this book in
earnest. Yet again I made a point to avoid any
mention of my spiritual beliefs.
During my
Internet research, I ran across a curious story concerning the 1912
Titanic tragedy.
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When the
Titanic sank in 1912, people vaguely recalled reading a
book that seemed to predict this horrible event.
Sure enough, in
1898 Morgan Robertson had written a book titled
Futility. The subtitle was Wreck of
the Titan.
The fact that Robertson wrote his
book 14 years before the tragedy was startling.
Quite a coincidence, yes?
Following
the disaster, Robertson was besieged with questions.
Disavowing any psychic ability or spiritual inspiration,
Robertson pointed out he was a maritime expert who kept
tabs on shipbuilding trends. Robertson added he
was aware of the icy hazards awaiting any ship crossing
the North Atlantic. Nevertheless, starting with
the near-identical ship names, the similarities between
the wreck of the Titan
and the Titanic were uncanny.
In the fictional version as well
as the actual event, both ships struck an iceberg in
the middle of the Atlantic.
The fictional collision and
actual collision took place
at midnight in mid-April.
Robertson's Titan
disaster took place 800
miles from Newfoundland.
The
Titanic
disaster took place
800 miles from
Newfoundland.
In the book, since the
Titan was considered unsinkable, it carried far
too few lifeboats, "as
few as the law allowed."
The Titanic carried just
20 lifeboats. This was far too few for the
number of people aboard, and yet this was
technically legal. The law at that time based the
number of lifeboats required on the gross register
tonnage of a ship, not passenger capacity.
In the book, more than
half
the Titan's
2500 passengers and crew
drowned. More than
half
the Titanic's
2200 passengers and crew died.
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When Robertson wrote his
book in 1898, there was an amusing
twist to the weird Titan-Titanic coincidences.
Although Robertson was already a well-known writer of short stories,
he became deeply frustrated when everyone refused to publish his
latest book. His rejection letters all said the same thing.
"We're sorry, Mr.
Robertson, but no one will ever believe this story!"
I laughed out loud when
I read that. I immediately thought of a memorable Mark Twain
quote.
"Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after
all, has to make sense."
In other words,
Robertson's Fictional Story did not make sense. That is why it
was roundly rejected.
On a personal note, I
was fascinated by Robertson's Titan tale.
His story was not some vague Nostradamus quatrain. Quite the
contrary. His
description was so accurate it was almost like Robertson had transcribed
the newspaper account of the event FOURTEEN YEARS AHEAD OF TIME.
Precognition perhaps??
Oh, I forgot. Science says Precognition does not exist.
And neither does ESP.
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WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 14, 2014
JIM DULANEY SENDS ME A MESSAGE
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After selling the dance studio in 2010, I began
writing full-time. In addition to this book, I
wrote a sequel,
Magic Carpet Ride, which covered the events that led to my dance career.
Both books had one thing in
common: I scrupulously avoided any mention of
God, Fate, Divine
Intervention and Cosmic Blindness. As for the
coincidences, yes, I had no choice but include them
because they played a major part in a true story.
However I refrained from pointing out my personal
belief, "Coincidence is a small miracle in which
God prefers to remain anonymous." Nor was
there any mention of Hindsight. In the grand
tradition of autobiography, I wrote the
stories from the perspective of living my life
forward with no hint of what was coming next.
It was now October, 2014. So far no one had read my drafts.
Nor had I published them on the website. After
all that writing I was understandably
curious what people would think of my unusual
stories.
Jim Dulaney was
a basketball
friend of mine.
Whenever we waited our turn for the next pickup basketball game, we would
sit together and chat. One day Jim
said he was writing a book,
then added
he was a member of a writer's group.
Hmm.
Tired of writing without feedback,
I asked if he would take a look at an excerpt. Jim
said he would be glad
to help. When I got home I
emailed him two excerpts
from this book. One dealt with the
German test cheating story.
The other was the updated 2010 version of Mrs. Ballantyne's Intervention Story.
A week
later Jim sent an email reply.
From:
Jim DuLaney Sent: Wednesday, October 14, 2014 3:48 PM
To: Rick Archer Subject: LETTER FROM JIM
Okay, Rick, I reviewed a few chapters of your
book. What is the purpose of your book?
Best I can tell, it is an autobiography,
but that genre is usually restricted to famous
people. So I assume you are famous, right?
Your most humble and obedient servant,
Jim
No, I wasn't famous. However
I was devastated. Jim's response felt like a
put-down, so I made a point to corner
him at our next
basketball game.
Jim claimed he was only teasing.
"I'm sorry you took it the wrong way, but that's
the problem with email. You never know if
someone is teasing or
being
critical."
"Okay," I said, "that makes me feel a little better. But I
still get the sense there's something bothering
you. What's wrong?"
Bless his heart, Jim was candid. Some people
sugarcoat things, but Jim gave it to me straight.
"I'm sorry if I sound harsh, Rick, but your story
reads like Charles Dickens on steroids. There are
too many coincidences. Plus your story is
unbelievably weird. Do you really expect people
will believe a story where some
kid catches you cheating thanks a
one-in-a-million coincidence?
Or you get rescued from the worst
crisis of your life by some sort of fairy Godmother?
Seriously, these stories are so over-the-top, I bet even
Charles Dickens would blush."
With a derisive chuckle at my expense, Jim had
more to say.
"What a shame you
aren't Charles Dickens. And what a
shame you aren't famous. Now, if
you were as famous as Charles Dickens,
you might stand a chance. Dickens
had a reputation for making strange
coincidences the centerpiece of every
novel he wrote. Unfortunately,
you're no Charles Dickens. Hey, that
gives me an idea. Why not try writing
your story as fiction? Then
your book
might have a chance."
One moment
later
Jim
corrected himself.
"No,
on second thought, Fiction won't work. Even if you
wrote your story as Fiction,
your story
is still
unbelievable. Too many
coincidences.
If you
are going to get anyone to
swallow your tale, take some of the
weirdness out of it. Start
by making your story more
believable."
That night I thought long and
hard about Jim's criticism. Mark Twain once
said, ""Fiction is obligated to make sense."
Jim Dulaney had
just said pretty much the same thing. His
suggestion was to make my
story more believable. Unfortunately, there
was only one way to accomplish that. I had no
choice but to reveal my belief in Fate and make it
the centerpiece of both books. If I did that,
the length of both books would double. What a
headache! I
groaned out loud. But here was my problem.
Even if I did that, who would believe me?
That is when I thought of Morgan Robertson.
"We're
sorry, Mr. Archer, but no one will ever believe your
story."
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FLASHBACK:
MARCH, 1968, Senior year OF HIGH SCHOOL
CHARLES
DICKENS
AND THE Abuse of
coincidence
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It was no coincidence that
Jim Dulaney had referenced Charles
Dickens in his criticism of my excerpts. In
literary circles, Dickens is often cited for his heavy reliance on coincidence.
The readers love him, but the critics lampoon him.
For example, in
1898 The Saturday
Review published a critique that objected to
the growing canonization of Charles Dickens.
The scathing narrative referred to Dickens's
reliance on 'Chance' as "the sin, most
gross, most palpable, which Dickens commits
everywhere in his abuse of coincidence."
Jim Dulaney had just accused me
of abusing coincidence in a way similar to Dickens.
Taken at face value, his disapproval made sense, but
with an asterisk. What Jim
did not know is that my coincidences were
true-to-life experiences. He had assumed I
made them up using 'literary license'.
What was I supposed to do? If I were to somehow
write around my countless coincidences, perhaps my
book would be more commercially palatable.
However, I
would hate myself in the process. On the other
hand, if I continued to
tell each story truthfully, I shuddered to think
people would laugh at my overuse of coincidence in the
same way they laughed at Charles Dickens.
As
much as I hated to admit it, part of me agreed with
what Jim Dulaney was saying. In my mind, the
overuse of coincidence was akin to bad writing. I had Mr. Curran to blame for
that. As I wrote in an earlier chapter, my
former English teacher loved to make fun of Charles Dickens.
In the process he poisoned me against Charles
Dickens for all time.
Although I have discussed Mr.
Curran's interest in Dickens before,
I wish to briefly revisit this topic Why?
Because it explains why
Jim Dulaney's criticism upset me so much.
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Mr.
Curran targeted Oliver Twist as the perfect
example of Dickens' tendency to overuse Coincidence in his
stories.
One day Mr. Curran got on a roll.
"Whenever Charles Dickens got stuck, he would shamelessly use a
ridiculous coincidence to advance his complicated plot."
According to Mr. Curran, "Guilty as charged!"
The laughter started when Mr. Curran
pointed out that Oliver managed to constantly
run into the same people 'by accident'.
"Here you have London, a sprawling metropolis with a million
citizens, but in the small world Oliver occupies, he bumps
into the same ten people in every chapter. Even more
curious, at the end of the book they all turn out to have
some mysterious connection to Oliver. For example,
Oliver is said to be an orphan. Maybe so, but thanks
to coincidence, Oliver ends up meeting
six relatives plus Mr. Brownlow, a
man who was his unknown father's best friend."
Referring to each coincidence as another
'Oliver Plot Twist', Mr.
Curran began
with Mr. Brownlow.
Oliver, 10, is caught pick-pocketing Mr. Brownlow.
Fortunately, Brownlow does not seem to mind. In fact
Brownlow feels so sympathetic, he goes to bat for the lad
with the judge. Does Mr. Brownlow know
Oliver? No. He has never seen the boy in his
life. Later in the story we discover Mr. Brownlow was
not only a close, dear friend to Oliver's deceased father
Edwin, he was once engaged to Edwin's sister who died.
My, what a small world.
For good measure, Mr. Brownlow ends up adopting Oliver.
Mr. Curran's next story had us rolling on
the floor. Young
Oliver is forced against his will to go with a
scurrilous man to break into a house. The burglary
is a
disaster. One of the frightened robbery victims shoots
Oliver in the leg while his
accomplice
gets away. Rather than hand
poor little Oliver over to the police, instead
the family nurses the boy back to health.
Later in the book we find that the woman who took pity
on Oliver is actually his long-lost aunt, Rose Maylie.
Small world.
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Mr. Curran
had the class in stitches with the
following dialogue.
"Students,
I am curious to know what you think. Put
yourselves in the shoes of the family whose house has
been broken into by thieves. Your
father has just shot a boy who
broke into your house and tried to rob you.
Would you or your parents invite this smelly,
filthy, potentially disease-ridden
street urchin to come live with you? Furthermore,
what happens when the boy gets
better and robs you
again? Are you willing to take
that chance?
In a normal world the police will
come and haul
the thief away. However, in the world of Charles Dickens, it is completely natural for the family
to care for the
injured boy.
Meanwhile Oliver
is so wonderfully fortunate. After all, it
is the dream of all young thieves to be adopted by the
victims of his crime. As if that is not
enough, the lady who volunteers to take care of poor
Oliver is
later found to be his long-lost aunt. And then the
man Oliver pick-pocketed turns around and adopts him.
They say crime doesn't pay, but Oliver Plot Twist is the
exception to the rule."
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WHAT SHOULD I
DO ABOUT JIM'S CRITICISM?
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My fear of
ridicule had been present ever since I wrote the
Intervention Story in 2005. Now, in 2014, my worst
fear had come true thanks to Jim Dulaney's distaste for
coincidence. But it could have been worse.
What if I had made the mistake of adding my belief that
God guided Mrs. Ballantyne to my store? Good grief, I would have never heard the end of it.
My catastrophic fantasy was
what Mr. Curran might say about my book if I told the truth.
In the hands of Mr.
Curran, a born comedian, Dickens' fondness for
outrageous coincidences made for delightful parody.
"Charles Dickens never let
Realism spoil a good plot twist. In my opinion, these
highly improbable, totally unrealistic coincidences
are an insult to an intelligent reader. Why bother
thinking of a clever explanation that makes sense?
That would take too much time. Instead, we are
subjected to flimsy coincidences that rob the story of any
credibility."
At
the time I laughed right along with everyone else.
Little did I know that Mr. Curran's playful satire would one
day become a painful threat thanks to Jim Dulaney's
ridicule. I hated to think what Mr. Curran could do
with my book.
"So
Rick Archer
cheats on a test, gets caught, no one bothers to punish him. A
woman he has never met appears out of nowhere and instantly treats
him like her long-lost son. Then a man he's never met gives him a scholarship
to college. After surviving a near-death car wreck, his luck
continues. The most beautiful girl in the world is
instantly attracted to Rick at a rock concert. Then she conveniently
agrees to be his last-minute prom date the following night.
Who does Rick Archer think he is, the Second Coming of Oliver Plot
Twist? Wouldn't it be great if all of us were that lucky? Next thing
you know, Rick claims God made him a dance teacher. Where on
earth does a dance teacher get the nerve to lecture us about God?
I have a better idea. Forget the memoirs and stick to line
dancing."
Although Dickens' coincidences
were the product of his imagination, my coincidences were true-to-life
experiences. After I explained that to Jim Dulaney, he accepted
that I was telling the truth. But then he added a caveat.
"Rick, I believe you because I know you personally. But I am
telling you that people who don't know you from Adam are going to
dismiss you as a crackpot. If you want this story to fly, you are
going to have to change the details
and
root your story in
conventional Reality."
I looked at him incredulously.
I didn't want to change the details. If I had to change my stories, I honestly would rather not write at all.
So what was the alternative? I suppose I could add Fate. However, that
thought had serious drawbacks. How exactly does someone prove the
existence of Fate? Furthermore, it would take at least a year,
maybe two, to rewrite my books from the perspective of Fate. In
addition, by adding the element of Hindsight and personal commentary, I
imagined the length of the book would double. The interruptions would make
what had been an interesting rags to riches story
less readable. And even if I did rewrite my book, my relative
anonymity would probably doom any success. Either I would be a
laughingstock or no one would believe me.
Damn
if I do and damned if I don't.
Unsure
how to proceed, I stopped writing for two months.
To my surprise, shortly after the New Year
I was handed an
unexpected new piece of information. Interpreting the event as an omen, I decided the
Universe had grown tired of waiting for me to make up my mind. And
what did the Omen say? I assume the Reader already
knows, but for those few who can't figure it out, here is what
it said:
"To heck with the naysayers. Re-write the damn book and
stick Fate in it."
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Thursday, JANUARY 8, 2015
KIM SALLS AND CATHERINE SALAZAR
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Jim Dulaney's words of discouragement arrived on October 14,
2014.
After moping around for a couple months I got a pick-me-up
at the tail end of the year, December 30, 2014 to be exact. That
is the day Kim Salls, the son of Mr. Salls,
contacted me by email.
I was so pleased to hear from him, we decided to meet on Monday, January
5, 2015. As
I listened to Kim speak about his father's childhood, I
realized I had just been handed another chapter to the "Charlie
and Maria" story. It was a very pleasant
chat, but no earth-shaking revelations. However, there was one more
thing.
As we walked out the door together, Kim mentioned
his daughter Catherine had a diary that might be useful. He
promised to ask her to send it to me.
Three days
later I received the following email.
-----Original Message-----
From: Catherine Salazar
Sent: Thursday, January 8, 2015 10:08 AM
To: rick@ssqq.com
Cc: E. Kimball Salls, Jr.
Subject: Charlie and Catherine Salls
Rick,
I want to thank you for
your kind article about my Granddaddy.
It brought back so many
happy memories.
When I spoke
to my father, he
said you were interested in my grandparents' courtship.
I have my grandmother's
diary from her 1937 trip to
Europe. I will scan the
pages about their meeting and the beginning of their
relationship. Look for it this evening.
Kindest Regards,
Catherine Salls Salazar
Granddaughter of E.K. Salls and
Catherine Morgan Salls
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As promised, Catherine Salazar sent me her grandmother's
1937 diary that night.
I groaned as I read the diary. Sad to say, Catherine Morgan's
scribbles were only slightly more comprehensible
than Egyptian hieroglyphics. Since I too am
left-handed, I instantly recognized the cursed mark
of the southpaw... lousy handwriting.
In particular there was one word that was
virtually indecipherable. See if you can
figure it out. Here is the preceding text.
"He [meaning
Charlie Salls] is 25 and teaches German at
????

Since I already knew Mr. Salls
taught at Brooks School in the Boston area, I tried
very hard to pretend that word was 'Brooks'.
After considerable effort, I decided it could not be
'Brooks'. So I played a game called Wheel of
Fortune. There appeared to be 7 letters.
First try: "_ N_OuiR". After ten
minutes or so, I rethought a couple of my guesses.
My second effort looked liked this: "_
N_OveR". Hmm. That looked
suspiciously like
'Andover'.
If so, 'Andover' would be incorrect.
However, when I had asked Kim Salls where the Brooks
School was, he said that Andover and Brooks School
are only six miles apart in a wealthy area 20 miles
north of Boston. Maybe what Catherine meant to say was that Charlie Salls
taught at Brooks School which is located in North
Andover, Massachusetts. Or maybe she just
forgot what school he taught at. I shrugged.
Who cares?
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Only I would be obsessive enough
to waste 10 minutes on something this silly.
Irritated
at myself for spending considerable time in meditation over
the Andover-Brooks mystery, I began to translate the
next sentence.
Read for yourself.
"Over champagne we learned
that he [Charlie Salls] was the boy I had
admired in the elevator at Budapest and I was
the girl he had thought was lovely in the white
bathing suit in the hall. What a small
world!!
We talked and talked.
He told all about his life - very interesting.
He is 25 and teaches German at (Andover???)
We
decided that Fate had brought us together."
I gasped
when I read that. I had just been handed my
Omen.
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"Coincidence is God's
Way of staying anonymous."
This saying has been around for ages.
The phrase suggests that certain mysterious events are not random, but rather
part of a subtle design created by a higher
power. As Mark Twain said, mysterious coincidences
have long been a subject of interest. Why?
Because they suggest the Universe has a well-disguised order to
it. What looks like chance or luck to the naked eye
might
actually be a secret divine plan at work. Or so they
say.
Godwink is a 21st
Century term coined by writer Squire
Rushnell. As I understand it, a 'Godwink' is a
meaningful coincidence used to create a
serendipitous
relationship, typically one that is
romantic in nature.
Here is
what Rushnell had to say:
“If there is no coincidence to
a coincidence, what
should I call it?
The word 'Godwink' came to mind. It
refers to those little 'coincidences'
that seem to have a divine origin. To me,
Godwink is synonymous with 'Answered Prayer'.
It does not matter if the individual has
actively prayed. God knows what you need
whether you know it or not."
As one might
guess, the concepts of Fate and Godwink are intertwined.
People who meet under unusual circumstances and subsequently
fall in love are
tempted to insist an invisible Cosmic Social Director
orchestrated their connection at a preordained time.
Although 'godwink' and 'soulmate' are not the
same, according to Rushnell, people often claim a Godwink is
what lead them to their Soulmate.
How
about an example? Rick Archer is sitting at
his high school graduation. He suddenly
wishes he had a date to his Senior Prom. How
absurd. It is out of the question. Rick
has never had a date in four years of high school.
Nor can he think of anyone in his limited universe
who might be a suitable girl to ask. Besides, there is
the issue of short notice. The Prom is in two
days. So he forgets about it. The
following night he meets a girl named Cheryl at a
rock concert. By coincidence, Cheryl just
happens to have an empty chair next to her. By
coincidence, Rick just happens to have a ticket to
that empty chair. By coincidence, Cheryl is
instantly attracted to Rick.
By
coincidence, Cheryl not only happens to be available
to go to Rick's Senior Prom the following night, she
is really excited about it. That, my friends,
is a Godwink.
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"Oh, come on, Rick, your Prom
Queen Cheryl anecdote is just
one crazy story. It
doesn't prove anything. After all, with 8 billion
people on the planet, weird stuff is bound to happen all
the time."
Maybe so, but here's the deal. When something 'Crazy'
happens to YOU, I predict you will think twice. Even
better, maybe you won't think I am quite so crazy any more.
So let's cut to the chase. The whole point of this
book is to explain how I came to believe in God and Fate.
I have an idea... this has been a long book, so let me sum
it up with the short version.
I am 18 years old. I do not have a religious bone in
my body. God is the last thing on my mind. One
night a strange idea comes into my head. Hey, let's
cheat on the German test! Not cheat in the normal
sense, but just one small section that
irritates me. Why do I want to do this? Because
the world has been mean to me. My father promised to
send me to college, but instead he bought me off for $400.
So, as an act of protest, I decide to cheat on the 'unfair'
part of the German test, the stupid literature section.
It is worth 20 points. Do I need to cheat? No.
I already know most of it from listening in class and doing my
homework. However, to save time, why study any further?
Just open the book and get the two or three things I don't
know. There is no way anyone will ever catch me. I will be alone in a room
at the end of the day. Even better, the room is upstairs
in a distant corner of the school.
The door will be closed and I will hear if anyone comes
up the steps. Only one problem. For reasons I
will never know, I don't hear Bob Franklin as he stomps up
the steps. Bob is in such a hurry to retrieve his
missing textbook, he bursts through the door at
the exact moment I open my own textbook to cheat.
Without even hesitating, Bob rushes to his desk to see if
his missing book is there. Thank goodness, there it
is! Bob is so relieved!
And where, by the way, is Bob's desk located? Right
next to where I am sitting. Curious to know why I am in this room
alone, he glances at my desk. Noticing my open
textbook with the German test next to it, Bob frowns, then
without a word turns and leaves the room.
Busted.
I am appalled. But what am I appalled about the MOST? Am
I appalled that I have been caught cheating? Nope,
guess again. Am I appalled because I have jeopardized my reputation as one of
the top five students in my graduating class for 5 points
extra on a meaningless test? Nope, guess again. I am appalled
BECAUSE I HAVE JUST WITNESSED AN ACT OF GOD!
I am scared out of my wits that this was at the utter impossibility of being being caught under the
weirdest circumstances imaginable. I only needed one
minute to get the necessary information. And yet in
that narrow window of opportunity, Bob has appeared.
And get this... if Bob had opened the door like a normal
person, I would have had time to close my book.
Instead, Bob not only threw the door open, HE RAN INTO THE
ROOM TO GET HIS BOOK!! There was no way to conceal
what I was doing. To me, there is only one way this
boy could have shown up at the exact moment to catch me.
This was God's doing.
This bizarre coincidence was a 'Fall on my knees'
moment. I had not thought about God in ages.
However, that changed in a hurry. For the next week I
could not get 'God' off my mind. Why would God
care about me enough to orchestrate the most bizarre
coincidence I had ever witnessed? Oh, why worry about
it? With
8 billion people on the planet, weird stuff is bound to
happen all the time.
A couple weeks later I was God-smacked again. Maria
Ballantyne is my personal choice as the finest mother at the
school. However, she does not know that. Nor
does she know who I am. That is because she has failed
to notice my interest for nine years. Today she just
happens to walk in my grocery store in the midst of the
worst crisis of my life. Has she been here before?
Not to my knowledge. Does she belong here? No.
She has three grocery stores within walking distance of her
house. Is she here to see me? No. She has
seven children to feed. Disappointed, I return to my
job sacking groceries. To my surprise, this story is
not over. In the parking lot, Mrs. Ballantyne suddenly
takes a strong interest in me. Even though I have not
said a word, she asks me to stop when I am halfway back to
the store. Stunned, I turn around. Why does she
want to talk to me? Why is she asking me all these
questions? Why is she telling me her life story?
Who does she think I am, Oliver Twist? This is crazy!!
The one person on the planet I would have wanted as my
counselor has just appeared to save me!! How on earth
do I explain this? Oh, it's easy.
With
8 billion people on the planet, weird stuff is bound to
happen all the time.
One month later I wish I had a date to my Senior Prom.
We already know what happened next, but what we don't know
is what created this bizarre outcome. One day after I
wished for a date, Prom Queen Cheryl lands in my lap...
literally as well as figuratively. How do I explain a
coincidence as strange as this? Why would the most
beautiful girl I have ever met take a sudden interest in me?
Why is a girl of this magnitude be available to go to my
Senior Prom the following night? And why would she
even be interested? Cheryl has just unknowingly
accepted a date with the last person on earth she would be
attracted. Rick Archer is the acne-scarred poor kid,
the outcast, the social pariah of St. John's. He is
the Creepy Loser Kid. What is a goddess like Cheryl
doing with him?? People scream, "No one will
ever believe this!!" They are right. Wake
up, people, we all know this kind of bullshit ONLY HAPPENS
IN MOVIES.
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There can only be one explanation.
With
8 billion people on the planet, weird stuff is bound
to happen all the time.
Okay, I can accept that. But three times in a
row?
And guess what? I'm just getting started.
By the time I am 76 years old, I will witness 126
situations that made so little sense I was at a loss
to think of a Realistic explanation.
But wait, not so fast! There is a good
explanation.
With
8 billion people on the planet, weird stuff is bound
to happen
at least 126 times in a lifetime.
I have a favorite quote.
"The
more frequently one uses the word ‘coincidence’ to
explain bizarre happenings, the more obvious it
becomes that one is not seeking, but evading the
real explanation."
-- Robert Anton Wilson
I rest my case.
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