Tuesday, SEPTEMBER 19,
1978
FIELD TRIP TO
THE PISTACHIO CLUB
|
|
In the third week of
my eight week Intermediate Tuesday class, a student named Marcus asked when
we were going out dancing together. I
smiled. "That's a good idea, Marcus. I
don't have a class at 9, so why not go tonight? Is anybody interested?"
The
class had 24 people. Six people raised their hands.
When Victoria raised her hand, I noticed ten more hands shoot up.
"Well, everybody, now we know who is more popular."
Everyone laughed because it was true. Victoria just
smiled.
"Okay, guys and gals, you're
on. Pistachio Club, here we come."
When someone asked how to get there, I said, "The Pistachio
Club is easy to find plus it is close. Take Westheimer
for three miles, turn right on South Post Oak, then go one
block."
|
 |
Victoria pulled me aside. "Can you handle the class on
your own for a moment? I need to call Michael and
tell him why I won't be home when he expects me."
I
smiled and said sure. But I had the oddest feeling.
It was the way she said it. Of course I could handle
the class on my own. I had done so for eight months
without Victoria's help. I could be wrong, but her
off-hand comment suggested she thought of this as her class.
If so, did that make me her assistant or was I still the
co-pilot? Hmm.
At
9 pm we trundled over to my favorite hangout.
Since the Pistachio Club was a quick 10 minutes away, we
were dancing in no time. This worked out well for me because I needed to
scout for a new move for my Super-Advanced class the
following Monday. Between Victoria and Joanne, I
could feel a definite uptick in the energy on both Monday and
Tuesday nights.
|
Victoria was wide-eyed and bushy-tailed the moment she
walked into the Pistachio Club. I was surprised to find
she had never been to a Disco.
"Rick, this place is
wonderful! I'm so excited!"
Indeed she was. Victoria was the belle of the ball.
She
danced with every man in the group while I
made sure to dance with the ladies. Thanks
in large part to our combined energy, our group had a blast.
Not only that, their dancing improved. The impact was so dramatic I was reminded of the magic trip
I had made
to the Rubaiyat a year ago. I had
taken my JCC group out dancing for 'Graduation Night'.
Thanks to my help, my students overcame their shyness
and
danced the night away.
That night had been important to
me because it taught me how important it was to create social
opportunities for my students. Not only did it help
the students to practice what they learned, they bonded together in the process
and made friends.
Tonight's enthusiasm
reminded me that I had been slacking off in this
area. The presence of Nancy and my constant worry
about losing had distracted me from my job. I reminded
myself to pay more
attention to the social angle of my dance program.
|
 |
Most of
the people did not stay long. Two or three songs at most.
That's the problem of having to go to
work in the morning. At the end of our dance, the lady
I was with looked at her watch.
"Oops," she said, "it's getting late. The woman bid farewell and headed home. I noticed
Victoria was waiting for me back at the table. She was
the only one left.
"What are you doing here? Don't you have to get up in
the morning?"
Victoria smiled. "I'm a housewife. I set my
own hours. I can
sleep late if I feel like it. Besides, you haven't asked me to dance yet!"
"How could I? You never left the floor.
Would you like to dance?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
I
ran Victoria through every move I knew. Since Victoria
did not know any Acrobatics, I stuck to Lead-Follow
patterns. At the end of
the song, I turned her round and round till she was dizzy
and begged me to stop. Don't tell anyone my secret,
but the lady's part requires more energy than the man
because all those turns wear her out. Although Victoria was breathing heavily as we
walked back to the table, I could tell she was happy.
"Wow, that was great!"
Victoria said. "But now I'm pooped! All this
dancing has worn me out. I must be out of shape."
"Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Don't you need to
get home?"
"No, I used the studio's phone to
call my husband Michael before we left to tell him I would be late.
He said Stephanie's asleep and not to worry about it."
It was 10:30.
Clearly Victoria was in no hurry to leave, so I ordered
drinks for both of us and settled in. "I
have a question, Victoria. Where did you
develop so much skill at working with people?"
"Well,
I trained to be an elementary
school teacher in college. To
me, teaching the ABC's and teaching dance are one and the same. Once
a teacher, always a teacher. I miss teaching. I wish
I had never quit. That gives me an idea. Maybe I
will be a dance teacher someday. But I guess I should
talk it over with Michael first."
|
 |
With
Victoria sitting across from
me, I had a chance to get a good look at her. I was struck
again at just how
beautiful Victoria was. Victoria was a Diva, a woman
born for the spotlight. Victoria was proud, poised, regal, polished,
graceful and eloquent. Victoria reminded me a lot of Rachel, another
Jewish Princess I had once dated. Too bad Victoria was married.
Oh well.
Victoria was
a knockout, slender, taller
than average at 5' 7".
She had brown
eyes and honey blonde
hair to go with a perfect figure. Her skin was dark brown,
no doubt tanned from a
summer sitting by the pool with her daughter. It was not
just her good looks that attracted me to her. I was
fascinated by Victoria's incredible outgoing nature. What
I wouldn't give to have her charm. Thanks to all my
insecurity
issues dating back to St. John's, I
could not imagine myself ever being as outgoing as Victoria.
My weakness was her greatest strength.
"You know, Victoria,
I really
admire the way you make friends at the drop of a hat. I
have never seen anyone like you. I am serious.
Popularity seems to come to you as easily as your suntan."
Victoria blushed.
"I don't know about the popularity, but you're right about the
suntan. I've been spending way too much time at
the Jewish Community Center pool. But the pool makes
Stephanie happy, so why stop? Now that you mention it, I've always been a leader.
Back
in college, I was the ringleader of a circle of five inseparable
girlfriends. We all had boyfriends and fiancés who did
whatever I told them to do. I was the one who organized
everything, beach trips, picnics, pool parties, charades,
movies. Every weekend was spent doing something fun with
my closest friends. Too bad you made me remember. I
miss those people so much."
|
Victoria sighed, then gave me a wistful smile. "I
have a favorite song, 'Those were the days, my friend, we
thought they'd never end.'"
I
smiled. "I know that song. It's about people
our age
who are having the greatest time of their lives. They have no
idea that someday it might be all be gone."
Victoria nodded. "Exactly. The song
expresses regret. The singer makes it clear how much it hurts
to realize what she once had and how she would never be able
to
recapture that kind of friendship and closeness."
Victoria hummed a lyric. "Oh, my friends, we're older but no wiser.
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same."
Victoria looked at me and shrugged. "Yup, those
were the days, my friend. My college years were definitely the
good old days. I
had no idea that happiness could be taken away. It's not
the same anymore with Michael pursuing his career.
Most of the time
it's just me, Stephanie and the swimming pool. Oh, how I miss my
friends. I wish I could get them back."
I said
nothing as Victoria got quiet. After a while, she
resumed.
"You know, Rick, it was a mistake to give up teaching
school. In the last couple years, I have not been
myself. I need to be around people and I need to be in
charge of things. All this sitting around the house is driving
me crazy. Don't
misunderstand. I love my husband
and I adore my daughter. It's simply that I need to
feel useful again, not sitting around doing nothing. Helping in
your class
makes me feel like I am finally contributing something of value again.
I love to teach."
I took note of the
remarkable change in
Victoria. During the four weeks of August at the Jewish Community Center, Victoria had never said a
word. She had seemed sullen and withdrawn. Our brief talk at the end of August was our
first and only conversation. Now here at Stevens of Hollywood, she
was
Victoria Sunshine, the radiant Diva
around whom the planets revolved.
"What made you
decide
to take my class, Victoria?"
"When
Saturday Night Fever came along, the movie
painted a glamorous picture of the Disco World.
I loved to dance back in high school and college, but I
haven't been dancing once since Michael and I moved to Houston.
He's so busy with his career, he forgets I exist sometimes. I was curious, so when I got the JCC
catalogue in the mail and saw your Disco class, I had to give it a
try. To my
surprise, I felt a flicker of interest. I wondered if dancing
could help me snap out of my slump."
Victoria got up
to leave. Then she hesitated and sat back down. "Can I ask
a favor?"
"Sure. What
is it?"
"If I were to organize a group of my
friends to take a dance class, would you consider
creating a private class for them?"
"Are you kidding?
I would love that. I would enjoy meeting your
husband and friends. There is a problem, though."
"What is that?"
"In
October, I am almost completely booked up. As of
now, my
only free time is Friday evening late. No one wants that
slot."
"Oh, no, you're wrong.
Late night Friday would be perfect.
Don't worry about it. Pencil me in for Fridays in
October."
"That would be great, but you didn't let me finish. My
only time slot is 9-10 pm. Nobody wants to take a class at
that hour."
"Don't worry about it. That
time slot will fit my group perfectly."
I thought it was
kind of odd for her to accept a 9-10 pm Friday time slot
without hesitation, but Victoria seemed happy
about it. That made me curious. What is this
woman up to?
|
TUESDAY,
SEPTEMBER 26, 1978
Victoria solves
a crisis
|
|
On the following
Tuesday, September 26,
the last
Tuesday of the month, I ran into a crisis. It began
when I arrived early for my 7 pm class. I panicked when I noticed the schedule
posted on the wall had a nasty surprise. Without
telling me, Lance
Stevens had scheduled me for a Tuesday Beginner class at 7
pm starting in October. This class would directly
conflict with my current September-October Class
Factory 7-8 pm group.
To understand
the problem, an explanation will help. Stevens of Hollywood
was not a busy dance studio before Saturday Night Fever
came along. When the phone calls began rolling in,
Lance Stevens had five nights to choose from and three time
slots, 7-8, 8-9, 9-10. This allowed him to start a new
class whenever he felt like it. Some classes began at
the start of the month, others in the middle.
Furthermore our classes had all kinds of different lengths.
Some were six weeks, some were eight weeks, some were ten
weeks. Stevens had no discipline when it came to
scheduling. He more or less threw a dart at the
calendar and started a new class at random. After six
months, the schedule was so haphazard that I took charge of
scheduling Disco classes. Starting in July, I made all
of my classes 8 weeks long, one hour each week, and each new
class started at the beginning of the month. Stevens
did not care what I did. Less work for him. He
was so contemptuous of me, the less we spoke, the happier he
was.
|
 |
Our lack of
communication is what caused the scheduling crisis. I had scheduled myself to teach a two-month
September-October Class Factory class on
Tuesdays at 7 pm. However, I had forgotten to make a note of
the second month for
OCTOBER on the schedule we kept in Stevens' office.
Stevens had seen that open spot and stuck a new class on top
of my existing class without asking. As things stood,
I now had two classes assigned for the same time slot in
October.
I screwed up every ounce of
courage and sought out Stevens. "Mr. Stevens,
why did you schedule me for a class at 7 pm on Tuesdays in
October?
That conflicts with a September class I am currently teaching."
"It's
your own fault, Archer. You forgot
to pencil in that you would be continuing that class
through
October. I saw the date open, so I put your name
down. What's done is done."
"I wasn't aware
I needed to fill in the slot. You told me I was in charge of scheduling
the Disco classes. Besides, what is going on? At your request, I
resigned from teaching at the Jewish Community Center so I could teach a
Beginner class for you on Wednesdays at 7 pm in October. Why do we
need two Beginner classes in the same month?"
"That's
because the social director from a church called up yesterday and asked
for a private class for his singles group. What's your problem?
Don't you want to make some more money?"
"Well, of course
I do, but I am already teaching my private class on Tuesdays
at 7 pm. What am I supposed to do now?"
"I
suggest you cancel your existing class or find another place to teach.
You work for me, or have you forgotten that?"
"No, I haven't
forgotten that, but why not put the church people on Tuesday
at 9 pm? There's no class currently in that time
slot."
"I don't
think so. I already promised them Tuesday at 7."
"But Mr.
Stevens, what about Wednesday? Maybe the church
group could join the Wednesday Beginner class that is due to
start next week. That would save you from paying me
twice."
Raising his
voice, Stevens barked at me.
"Young man,
I do not spend my time worrying about when you are free
and when you aren't. If I want to schedule you on
Tuesday, then that is exactly what I will do. They
said Tuesday is their best night. They wanted a
Tuesday class, the Tuesday slot was open in October.
End of discussion. Do you want to work here or
not?"
I was furious.
Stevens had not said a word about this surprise class.
What ever happened to checking with me first? But it
was too late now. What
choice did I have? In a flash, I donned my obsequious
'Yes, Masta, you da boss' persona and backed
down.
"I'm sorry, Mr.
Stevens, you are absolutely right. I stepped out of line. Don't worry, I will teach your
church
class starting next Tuesday."
What was I supposed to do?
Stevens had me on a
technicality. After all, it was my fault I had failed
to cross out Tuesdays in October when the new schedule was posted last week. But
at the same time, Stevens knew full well I was
teaching in this slot for two months. After all, he
had already deducted the two months of rent from my
paycheck. I assumed this deliberate overlap was his way of
asserting his authority. On the other hand, maybe it
was unintentional. Where I was concerned, Stevens
preferred to stay oblivious.
|
By chance, Victoria
also showed up
early. Seeing the worried look
on my face, Victoria came over. "What's with
the long face, Rick?"
I explained the
problem to her.
"I'm sure we
can think of something. But first I have a
question. What is
Class Factory? You have never really
explained it."
I kept a copy of
the magazine around, so I showed it to her and pointed to
my Disco listing. "Class Factory
will advertise my classes
and send me new students each month. This
September-October Tuesday
class is my very first class."
"What
is your arrangement? Do they pay
you or do you pay them?"
"A little
of both.
They take half and give me the other half."
"You're
kidding, right??" Victoria gave me a
skeptical look.
"No, that's the
arrangement. Why do you ask? Do you think I got
a bad deal?"
"Maybe.
How much money are you making off your Tuesday September
class?"
"After paying
rent to Stevens, based on 20 students, about $16 or $17 an hour."
|
 |
"And how much
does Stevens pay you when you teach his class?"
"$15 an hour.
So you see the Class Factory is a good for me. I realize I
only make a couple more dollars per hour, but I see potential for much
more."
"I don't
agree, I
think you are getting ripped off. I bet you could make
even more if you renegotiate. You should get a higher
percentage. After all, you are paying rent on the
room and doing all the work. All they do is
publish a paragraph in a magazine. How tough is that? They
are getting quite a deal."
"I
don't see it that way, Victoria. Class
Factory is doing me a real favor."
Victoria frowned. "Explain."
"In essence, I
am running a
'Start-Up' business. Nobody knows who I am. I
am not some hot-shot who wins a new dance contest every month.
I provide an obscure, relatively unimportant service. I
have some word of mouth reputation at this point, but if someone hears about me, they
call the studio for information, then sign
up through Lance Stevens. It might be me they want for
their teacher, bu their money goes to him.
Since I have no customers of my own and no marketing
skills, getting established on my own would be tough.
Fortunately, Deborah's Class Factory solves my problem. Deborah is
bringing customers right to my doorstep through her
advertising."
"Do
these students belong to you or Stevens?"
"They
belong to me."
"Do
these students belong to you or Class Factory? What happens
to these students when their class ends?"
"Deborah
and I have never discussed it, but I want them to belong to me.
I hope to flip these people
into taking an Intermediate class directly from me in November."
"I'm not sure I am following you."
"If I can get
my September-October students to bypass paying Class Factory
and sign up for the Intermediate class directly through me, their November tuition check
will have my name on it. I get 100%
of tuition, not 50%. That's the start
of a business right there. All I need is for 10 of my 20
September students to
continue in November and I will make another $18 an hour for
November-December. However I bet I can get even more than 10
students to continue."
"How do you see this developing down the road?"
"If I
can average 20 new students a month and keep flipping half the
class into paying me directly, I could be sitting on a
pot of gold. To me, the biggest
problem for a start-up business is finding new customers in an inexpensive way. Word of mouth only kicks in after someone gets the fire going.
Class Factory is getting that fire started for
me. Ordinarily I would have to place an ad in the
newspaper and an ad in the Yellow Pages and so on. That
costs a lot of money. But here is what is extraordinary.
Not only does Class Factory advertise my classes for free, they
are paying me to do it! Think about that. They are
paying me for the privilege of advertising my business. To
me that is unheard of."
Victoria nodded. "I see your point now. But
will Class Factory make any money if your September students
take your November Intermediate class?"
"Not as
it currently stands."
"Does Class Factory care if you flip these
students to pay you directly for future classes instead of them?"
"The
subject has never come up and I prefer to leave it that way.
Let's not give Deborah a reason to think it through."
"How do you think Deborah will feel if she finds out you are
flipping her customers? Will she feel exploited?"
"Maybe
down the road, but probably not at the moment. Deborah is
new to this business, so I am not sure she understands the
long-term ramifications of her deal. My guess is that if
you asked her today, she would say she is quite happy.
Like you said, in return for placing a one-paragraph caption in
her catalogue to advertise my classes,
Deborah
keeps 50%
of the proceeds. The average person would probably say our
deal definitely benefits
Deborah, but I don't agree. I
believe I got the better end
of the deal.
Either way, the bottom line is that we both
win."
"Is
this a one-time deal or will it continue? What about
October? Is Class Factory sending you
more students in October?"
"As a
matter of fact, yes, I have a new Class Factory class
starting on Fridays in October at 8 pm right before your 9 pm
private class."
"Do
you expect many students? That doesn't seem like prime
time to me."
"No
kidding. Who signs up for Friday at 8 pm? If I get 10 students, I'm happy. Every
little bit helps. All I know is Class
Factory is sheer magic. A start-up company typically spends a small fortune advertising to lure
people to their store. However, I don't have to pay a cent.
The way I see it, Deborah pays me for the right to send me customers."
"When you say it that way, it is easier to understand."
"Exactly. I think this deal is heavily weighted
in my favor."
"Well, before
you count your chickens, first you need to keep Lance
Stevens from sabotaging your deal. What do you plan to
do about your Tuesday 7 pm group next week when
October rolls around?"
"Beats me. I
haven't had a chance to think about it."
"May I make a
suggestion?"
"Of course.
What do you have in mind?"
"Why not explain
the problem to your 7 pm class tonight and ask them to merge with
the 8 pm Tuesday class? Normally you teach half
freestyle, half partner dancing at 7 pm. Skip the freestyle and
concentrate strictly on partner dancing for tonight. That will help them catch up to the 8 pm class.
Then you can invite them to stick around at 8 pm starting
tonight if they feel like it."
I didn't say a word.
I just looked at Victoria in amazement, then nodded in
agreement. Why didn't I think of that?
"But won't the
students in both classes feel cheated?"
"Maybe, but I
will do everything in my power to grease the wheels for the
merger. That reminds
me. I have an idea I've been working on. Why
don't you let me make the announcement to both groups?
I think the distraction will help things."
Once Victoria said she would take care of
this touchy maneuver,
I stepped aside.
As promised, Victoria put everyone under her spell that night. I have never
seen anyone take charge like her. At 7
pm, she explained to my small Class Factory group what the
problem was, making sure to paint Lance Stevens as the
insensitive villain.
I quietly noted if I had said the same thing and word got
back to Stevens, I would have jeopardized my job. In other
words, Victoria could say things that I couldn't. While she made her pitch, I noticed she
did not bother asking the students what they thought.
She just said this is how it was going to be. Before
anyone could protest, Victoria distracted them with a special
announcement.
"Hey, y'all, I
am planning a Graduation Party at the Pistachio Club for the
last week in October. And guess what? I expect
you people will be among the best dancers in the house. But first
I need some help drumming up interest. If some of you ladies
would like to help me plan the evening, I would appreciate that."
A big party at the
end of October? This was news to me. I swallowed
hard. This sounded a lot more ambitious than I had
bargained for. However, the moment everyone clapped and
smiled, I had the sense to get on board. I was amazed.
Victoria had just reminded me of several things. She was the most outgoing
person I had ever met and also one of the shrewdest. That night, the energy of the 7 pm class
picked up considerably. Not only were these students excited about the upcoming party, they looked forward to the
challenge of joining the 8 pm group. Based on Victoria's
sales pitch, half my 7 pm class stuck around to join the 8 pm
class. Since the 8-9 class had a one-month head start, why wait till next week to begin catching up?
I was smart to trust Victoria. She knew what she
was doing. At the end of the 7 pm class, she had a half-dozen new
girlfriends offering to help promote the Graduation party. The women exchanged phone
numbers and laughter. Victoria was a walking talking Pied
Piper if there ever was one. Then she turned
around and worked a similar magic with the 8 pm group.
They too were excited about the upcoming dance party. After
Victoria was through spinning the merger... 'Hey, let's double the
fun! One big happy family!'... they did not mind a bit
adding the new people. That night I spent the hour
catering to the 7 pm visitors to give them
a fighting chance to catch up. Besides, the review
did the 8 pm students some good.
At the end of class everyone left with a big smile. On
their way out, they made sure
to thank Victoria for her great idea on the Graduation Party.
I shook my head
half in awe, half in despair. It wasn't easy feeling overshadowed. Victoria was quite a salesman.
Or saleswoman if you prefer. When the 8 pm class
was over, I cornered Victoria. "Where did your
Graduation Party idea come from?"
"I don't know, it
just popped into my head moments before I addressed the class.
I told you one of my favorite hobbies is organizing events.
The easiest way to get people to cooperate is to give them
something special to look forward to. So what do
think about a big graduation party
after the final class in late October? Let's invite all
your classes, not just the Tuesday crowd."
I stared at Victoria
in confusion. Why didn't I think of this myself? I had
been working at Stevens of Hollywood for nine months. Sure, I took
students out dancing after class on a random basis, especially
the Monday night group. NOT ONCE had it
occurred to me to have a Graduation Party where I
invited people from every class on every night. I
frowned. I recalled last
year's successful Rubaiyat
Graduation Party which I had organized for my summer JCC class.
Why had I failed to do something similar here at Stevens of
Hollywood? Why did it take a newcomer to see an
opportunity I had missed for nine months? Oh well, yet
another chance to swallow my pride and say "Thank you,
Victoria". I was getting tired of being out-smarted even
if it was for my own good.
Chagrined, I asked, "Do you think I
should get permission from Lance Stevens? Technically my
students belong to him."
"Oh, heck, no.
Just throw the party and leave Stevens out of it. What is
there for him to object to? For one thing, we aren't using
his studio, we are going somewhere else. Besides, it's not like you are taking
any money out of his pocket. If anything, it will put more
money in his pocket if his students have fun and decide to sign up
for new classes. Don't give it a second thought, just
do it. I doubt he will even notice."
Victoria was
completely right. Just do it. Why give the old
grouch a chance to object? If you want to get something
done, it's easier to beg forgiveness than try to get permission.
Suddenly I clammed up. First the Merger idea. Now
the Graduation idea. I was so irritated at being
repeatedly overshadowed by Victoria's
brilliance that I just wanted to shrivel up and disappear. I was at a loss to understand why I had the
sense to do this Graduation event at the JCC last year, but
never here. Oh, well, at
least one of us was thinking clearly.
Victoria was
surprised by my hesitation. Noting the frown on my
face, she said, "Gosh, Rick, if you think
it's a bad idea, I can call it off."
That snapped me out
of it. "Oh, no, don't worry
about me. I get moody sometimes for no reason. I
think a Graduation Party is an excellent idea. Just let me
know what you want me to do."
As I drove home, I
had a worried feeling. Tonight Victoria had hijacked both of my
Tuesday dance classes. I was the teacher, but Victoria was
the real leader. Why was
I suddenly afraid of her? She seemed to be three moves ahead of me
every time I turned around.
|
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER
28
LOSING CONTROL
|
|
 |
|
 |
Thanks to the
summer parade of women, I was tougher than I used to be. I could be
nonchalant about women as long as I did not care.
But Jason was insane if he thought I could be Nonchalant
towards the most beautiful woman in the world. On the
other hand, Kirk
had managed to remain nonchalant with his wife Karen. I tipped my hat to Kirk. Given how poorly he treated
his wife, I wondered if it was his carefree attitude
that kept
Karen around. Maybe I should give her a call and ask.
Or maybe not. I would have loved to know more about
what kept Karen loyal to Kirk's Jet Set lifestyle. However I dared not reopen Pandora's Box for fear what demons might be
released. Let's stick to one headache at a time.
When it came women like Karen and Nancy,
this 'Nonchalance' concept was a
mindset I found myself incapable to maintain. I was certain
I was sharing Nancy with another man, maybe several,
and my brooding nature tormented me with jealousy. Given
that I was a serious Underdog in this
relationship, there was no way I could keep up my facade
much longer.
My original
goal had been to find some way to keep Nancy long-term.
However, our inability to discuss anything of significance meant this relationship had
minimal long-term potential. On the other hand, there
might not be another Nancy as long as I lived. Where
would I ever find another lover quite as beguiling? Our
exquisite love-making was reason enough to hang onto her. So my new goal was to see 'How
Long' I could keep her. How long could I last
before my jealousy and possessiveness made it impossible
for me to continue?
|
If I could keep cool,
this Thursday pattern might continue indefinitely.
I think Nancy kept me
around because I never complained and allowed her to continue this relationship on her
terms. As long as I did not rock the boat, Nancy seemed perfectly content to
continue our Thursday night arrangement. Weird as it sounds, there was a
loneliness about Nancy. Despite her continued secrecy, I think she enjoyed my
company, maybe because I was the only guy she was seeing who
was not a pain in the ass. I imagine every guy she went out with
demanded to know what she was
doing at all times. Not me. I no longer
insisted on getting
her phone number. Why bother? If we didn't
talk at my house, what would we talk about on the phone?
Following Jason's advice to the letter, I never objected
to Nancy's disappearing act. Nancy was
free to come and go as she pleased. Sonofagun, it
seemed to work.
Nancy was
obviously fond of me. She enjoyed our Thursday dancing and my company afterwards. It
dawned on me that if I could avoid making demands on her,
this could continue for quite a while. But only if I
could hide my Possessive feelings. I had failed with
Rachel by getting attached. I had failed with Karen by
getting attached. I vowed to do better this time with
Nancy. Keep it
light. Enjoy it while it lasts. Don't
get serious. Don't make demands. Don't show jealousy.
But it was not working.
My nonchalant, casual approach could not last much longer.
I
was losing my mind!!
|
|
|
Thursday, September 28, marked the
fifth night we had spent together. It was wonderful,
but I went nuts the next morning. My feelings
betrayed me throughout the following week. I could not
take it any more. Making
love to a beautiful woman was like using powerful
narcotics. My time with Nancy had become
addictive. Against my will, I was hooked.
Yes, it was wonderful to lie in the arms of the
most beautiful woman I had ever known, but the misery
when Nancy was gone was unbearable. Like a junkie, I could not wait
for my next fix.
I worried constantly about losing her. I worried about having a temper tantrum
and chasing her away. I was in physical pain.
The nausea was a constant reminder of how needy I was.
I was desperate,
forlorn. As we know, Desperation is not sexy.
How could I hide my nervous tics, my weight loss, my
worried look? I
had no idea how much longer I could fake this nonchalance
nonsense. Nancy was so far
out of my league it was ridiculous. I was positive
sooner or
later a wealthy man or better-looking guy would take her away
from me. I had lost five women in a row in
head to head battles with other men. Why would it be any different this time? Since I
had so little to offer Nancy beyond a warm bed and the
comfort of my arms,
she was sure to leave soon. But when? My heart could
not handle the
uncertainty.
I ached constantly when Nancy wasn't around.
I was sick to my
stomach. I worried endlessly. I could not sleep.
I had no appetite.
Look at what this woman
is doing to
me!?!!
I cursed my lack
of control. I tried to be
brave, but it was useless. Who are
we kidding? Henri's nonchalant approach required
far more psychological skill than I was capable
of.
Finally I could not take it anymore. Next week
I would demand that Nancy speak to me or threaten to
call this off.
|
|
