Day Two: Sunday, 7-8 pm, in the ship's theater

THE Captain's reception

I expected the Captain's Reception would be popular with my group.  Considering how much fun they had dancing at the Cocktail Party the previous night, this event was an instant replay, only more special.  There would be complimentary drinks and hors d'oeurves.  There were would be Big Band Swing music courtesy of the ship's orchestra.  Even better, we expected a large audience of ship passengers would be there to appreciate our dance skill.  Anyone who wished to dance was invited to go up on the theater stage.  The rest would sit and watch as they sipped their champagne.  Since the Reception coincided with Formal Night, everyone in our group showed up looking glamorous.  That included me.  I was wearing a tuxedo for the second time in my life.  I had worn a tux twenty years ago when I was best man at a dance student's wedding.  Tonight's event seemed like a good time to try again.  One of the advantages of dressing like a bum all the time is the startling contrast.  I received so many compliments, maybe I should do this more often.  I looked for Marla.  Nowhere to be seen.

As expected, the Captain's Reception was a fun event for the SSQQ dancers.  Champagne, formal attire, orchestra music, dancing on a stage complete with audience!  Woo-wee!  This was quite an ego trip.  As the orchestra played classic Big Band tunes such as In the Mood, guests were invited on stage to dance.  Oh boy, were we ready.  Lots of room and an audience to boot.  At times, our group had as many as thirty couples up there.  Every couple danced like a pro.  Once the general audience saw the caliber of our dancing, they had no desire to join us and risk comparison.  As a result the stage belonged solely to our group.

With room to dance, great music and smiling faces for encouragement, we dominated.  It was great fun to impress the crowd with our fast Swing dancing.  Feeling like stars on stage, we savored every moment in the spotlight.  In fact, we were having so much fun up that many people in the audience thought our group was the ship's dance team.  Thinking we were hired to entertain them, their warm applause made us feel like performers.  Next stop Broadway!

In Greek mythology, Antaeus was a warrior blessed by the Gods with a gift.  As long as his feet touched the earth, he could not be defeated.  Hercules cheated by lifting his opponent off the ground.  So what does this have to do with me?  I had spent the entire day quivering with fear.  However, now that I was back on stage, I felt my confidence return.  When Marla arrived ten minutes late, I waved from the stage like nothing had gone wrong.  When the song ended, I thanked my partner, then went to the seating area to ask Marla to dance.  I had no idea where I stood with her.  In addition, I was nursing some badly bruised feelings.  Fortunately, due to the confident way I approached her, I don't think Marla had any idea how shaky I had felt during the day.  She accepted my offer to dance without hesitation.  As we danced to Swing music, Marla's bemused smile was polite, but non-committal.  I had no idea what was going on in her mind, but this was not the time to ask.  After the song ended, I still had work to do.  I walked Marla off the stage, then danced each subsequent song with different ladies in our group.  This might be vacation for them, but as host I felt obligated to entertain.

A typical dance song is 3 to 4 minutes long.  That allowed me time to dance with a dozen or so ladies in our group during our hour on stage.  I made sure to save the last dance for Marla.  The band chose Stars Get in Your Eyes, a great slow dance ballad from another era.  I was so happy.  After all my fears and worries, the chance to hold Marla again was balm to my aching soul and flagging confidence.  Once Marla settled into my arms with a contented purr, I no longer worried about losing her to Chris.  Her smile said it all and the warmth of her touch underscored the message.  Reassured she had feelings for me after all, I melted.  I cherished holding the woman with whom I had fallen in love. 

I could no longer hold back.  Unconcerned about letting my feelings show in public, I pulled Marla close.  She did not mind.  Marla rested her head on my shoulders and pressed close.  Our intimacy did not go unheeded.  I noticed several pointed stares as we left the stage hand in hand.  As I suspected, I was hardly the only man who had his eye on Marla.  Our close contact had undoubtedly dashed the hopes of several men.  When a lady asked me for the next dance, I politely explained the event had just ended.  A man named Jerry used the distraction to pull Marla aside.  When Marla returned, I asked what that was all about. 

"Jerry wanted to know if the two of us are dating.  I think he likes me.  I smiled and gave him a non-committal answer.  I don't know what his problem is.  Anyone who saw us up there has to know."

I nodded.  I thought the same thing.  I had given Marla an entire day to make up her mind.  Her decision to dance close to me was exactly the reassurance I needed.  It was time to resume last night's Fairy Tale Romance and live happily after.  

Or maybe not... 

8:05 pm

JILL THE THRILL

Once the curtain came down, the orchestra was done.  However, just as we started to leave for dinner, someone put on a tape of Disco music.  Aha, one last invitation to dance!  It occurred to me this was a good time to do a little advertising.  The easiest way to persuade students to take dance classes is to let them see their instructors perform.  This was the perfect moment.

8:15 pm

WAITING FOR DINNER TO START

The Dining Room would open at 8:30, so here was a 15-minute gap when I found Marla.  She was standing outside the Dining Room amidst a throng of tired but happy SSQQ dancers.  Enthused by their night of Stardom, the group talked up a storm as we waited.  Back on land, most of our guests were average dancers.  However, here on the ship, they had no competition.  Our dancers were flush with pride from all the applause.

Marla and I mingled with the group.  Considering we had just shared a cheek to cheek slow dance, Marla seemed oddly subdued.  However, I gave it no thought.  With her standing beside me, what could be wrong?  Marla had allowed me to hold her tight.  The significance was not lost.  Reassured by Marla's bold gesture, it was pretty clear she had made her choice.  For the first time that day, my optimism returned. 

As we stood among the crowd, Doug and Jamie came over to talk.  Before the trip I had given them several private lessons to prepare for their upcoming wedding dance.  Doug had made several mistakes up on stage during the Reception, so this was a good time to ask for suggestions on what had gone wrong.  Due to the large crowd, it was very noisy in the waiting area.  The only way I could hear what they were saying was to move several paces away and turn my back.  Doug and Jamie were very worried about their wedding dance, so I spent five minutes or so reassuring them.  Seeing the crowd begin to move, I turned to locate Marla.  She was gone.    

Shocked by Marla's disappearance, I looked for her in panic.  Due to all the people moving forward, it took a moment to spot her.  Thanks to my height, 6' 2", I was able to spot Marla moving towards the dining room a good thirty feet ahead of me.  She was moving rapidly and made no attempt to see if I was following.  I was very confused.  Marla was moving so fast it would be tough to catch her.  I wanted to sprint, but there were too many people in my way.  I didn't want to believe it, but her haste made this separation appear intentional.  Why had Marla failed to let me know when the doors opened?  I had assumed my presence at her side was sufficient to show my intention to share dinner with her.  Apparently Marla thought otherwise.  By the time I entered the dining area, Marla was already seated. 

8:30 pm

MARLA'S NEW FLAME

I nearly fell over when I saw who Marla was sitting with.  Sherry was on one side of Marla and a good-looking man named Darren was on the other.  I had no idea who Darren was.  Although he was a member of our group, I had never met him before.  I was upset to see Marla had not saved me a seat.  But it was even worse than that.  It was weird, almost Supernatural to see Marla ripped away from me... "even if it is between two lips."  This this nasty surprise was an eerie replay of Priscilla and Mitchell from last night's dinner as well as Philip and Connie.  Fearing I really was cursed after all, I was overcome by panic.

Since Marla's table was full, I had no choice but to sit elsewhere.  Marla turned her head to speak to Sherry as I passed by.  There was no doubt she deliberately avoided eye contact.  I was crushed.  Why did Marla ditch me?

Crestfallen, I took a seat ten feet away.  Marla was hidden, but if I leaned forward, I could catch a glimpse by peering around the corner.  I certainly had no trouble hearing her.  It seemed to me Marla was having way too much fun.  After a particularly loud guffaw, I took another peek.  I gasped when I saw Marla lean towards Darren.  From my angle, their shoulders touched, a gesture which pushed me over the cliff.  In six months of watching Marla like a hawk back at the studio, not once had I seen her flirt.  Not with me, not with anyone.  Sitting unnecessarily close to Darren, Marla showered him with charm.  She was good at it.  Too good.  I felt chills go down my spine. 

Where had cool, calm, collected Marla gone?  Laughing, smiling, touching, giggling, Marla's play for Darren terrified me.  What is going on here?  A mere 30 minutes ago Marla had been in my arms as we slow danced to a romantic song.  Marla had smiled and put her head on my shoulders.  She had pressed her body close, an unmistakable gesture.  Now Marla was behaving like a Hollywood starlet determined to seduce her leading man. 

What a difference 30 minutes can make.  Up on stage with Marla in my arms, I was full of joy.  Now as Marla carried on with this man ten feet away, I wanted to scream with despair.  Peeking around the corner, I watched Marla in horror.  One time it looked like Marla touched Darren's hand as she laughed.  Based on a brief glance, I could not be sure.  However, that is what it seemed like.  I could not believe what I was seeing.  Overwhelmed with suspicion, I could not imagine what would cause Marla to treat Darren like the most interesting man in the world.  Watching her flirt with abandon, she acted like Darren meant something to her.  Who is this woman?  What kind of woman am I dealing with?  How could Marla let me hold her up on stage, then minutes later make a play for a guy who seemed very flattered by her attention?   I had not felt this jealous towards a woman since Vanessa 27 years ago.  I was going out of my mind with the thought that she was doing this deliberately.  Why would she tease me in such a cruel way?  For that matter, who is this man? 

If Marla knew Darren before the trip, then why didn't he dance with her at the Cocktail Party last night?  And why didn't he dance with her tonight in the Theater?  And where did she meet him?  Probably in our morning dance class.  Now I was really suspicious.  Did Marla have lunch with him earlier today?  Whatever the answer, Marla definitely liked this guy.  This weird scenario had me totally bewildered.  What happened to the woman from Enchanted Evening and Cinderella Night?  I had known Marla for six months.  Not once did I see her flirt with anyone.  I was baffled by her uncharacteristic behavior.  What could explain this abrupt change?  Was she fickle?  Did she collect men for the satisfaction it brought her? 

Maybe it was even worse that.  That is when a very strange, very dark possibility hit me.  Forget fickle, maybe she was schizophrenic.  Is Marla a certified lunatic?  If so, this might explain her irrational decision to hang on so tight to Chris.  Maybe Chris was the only man in the world who would tolerate her madness.  If so, now I knew why he treated her so poorly.  If Marla was this free with her affection, what stopped Chris from returning the favor?  This awful thought was more than I could handle.  I was already jealous of this new man.  Even worse, I was paranoid due to sudden doubts as to Marla's true character. 

Feeling nauseous, I barely touched my food.  Nor was I much company.  Unless someone asked a question, I did not say a word.  All I could think about was how badly Marla had hurt me.  A woman at the table noticed my discomfort.  She asked if I was feeling okay.  Shaking my head no, I excused myself and raced to my room.  Unable to take another second of Marla's brazen behavior, I needed sanctuary in the worst way.

Marla's Notes: 

Dinner, Day 2

As the dining room doors opened, Rick was having a conversation with two folks in the group.  He was 10 feet away with his back turned.  First he turned his back to go dance with Jill.  Now he had just turned his back to me AGAIN!  If Rick wanted me to join him at dinner, I thought he would have introduced me to the couple and asked me to let him know when the doors opened.   Did he do that?  No!  Rick just abruptly walked away without saying a word.  I thought that was a clear signal that he didn't want to be with me.  To me, it was like when you are at a party and you are trying to disengage to find someone else more interesting to talk to.

Why else would Rick disappear right when it's time to go into the dining room?  And then to turn his BACK on me!  I was mortified.   Rick clearly wasn't interested in me.  I received those signals all day long.  First, he checked out who might see us in the hallway early in the morning.  Second, he ignored me in dance class.  Third, he left me standing alone after our Slow Dance on stage to dance with Jill.  Finally, he left me alone as the dining room doors opened. 

What am I supposed to think?  One moment I am in Rick's arms during our Slow Dance feeling that all is right in the world and then just minutes later, Rick treats me like I am a stranger.  Actually, I felt like l was less than a stranger.  Common decency would have been to excuse himself to dance with Jill or speak with the couple.  How many more times do I allow myself to be treated in this manner?  I was crushed when Rick left me to stand alone.  However, there was no way I was going to let Rick see how his behavior had hurt me so deeply.   After six years of similar misbehavior from Chris, I was not going to set myself up for further disappointment with Rick.

So I put on my ''Happy Face", looked for Sherri and we marched into the dining room without him.   Sherry and I were seated with four other folks in our group.  We did not know any of them.  I was seated with Sherri to my left and a nice guy on my right.   At first, I couldn't really focus on the conversations; I was still reeling from Rick leaving me standing there alone.  I noticed Rick walk by our table about 10 minutes after we were seated.  As he passed, I averted my eyes and began to focus my attention to the people at my table.  Knowing that Rick was likely seated within earshot, I was determined to smile and laugh and not let Rick see how much he had hurt me.  Did I mention how devastated I was???  Having had some dramatic training in school, I put on the show of my lifetime.  Inside I was dying, but no one could tell by my actions.  I was determined to hide my true feelings.  All the miserable years of insecurity bubbled up within me, but I successfully buried it all under a phony smile.