|
 |
CHAPTER TWELVE:
MARLA DISAPPEARS
Written by Rick
Archer
|
|
DAY TWO: SUNDAY MORNING, 6
AM
DAYBREAK
|
 |
|
It was dawn, somewhere around 6
am. Marla had just spent the past hour in my arms. Growing closer to
Marla than I could ever imagine, those wee hours had
been one of the happiest moments of my life.
Indeed, our Enchanted Evening had played out like a
Fairy Tale. Unfortunately, the rapport
did not last. Our Fairy Tale began to
unravel at first light.
|
 |
Starting at midnight, Marla
and I had spent the past six hours together.
As we watched the sun
rise on the distant horizon, we heard the voices of crewmen washing down the deck.
That broke the spell. Time to go.
I should have been elated, but
such was not the case. In fact, I felt
ominous. I sensed that Marla was very
uncertain about what had taken place last night.
Would the magic of dancing, our long talk and
the moonlight kiss survive the harsh light of day?
I had a class to teach at 10
am. I hoped Marla would come back to my cabin
and sleep beside me...
with our clothes on, of course. If she
accepted, this would go a long way towards allaying
my fears.
However, the possibility had not
been discussed. When we stopped at my cabin door, Marla
said, "Rick,
there is something I need from you."
"What is that?"
"Can I have
my room key back?"
|
Marla's request caught me off
guard. After spending six hours with me, now
she wants to be alone? Hurt, I replied,
"You
don't want to sleep in my room? I won't bother
you. If you want, I will sleep on the couch.
After last night, I don't want us to part."
"This has nothing
to do with not wanting to be with you.
I
had a wonderful time,
but right now I would rather go to my own
room. I need to be alone.
After reliving all these
events, I am pretty upset with
myself. I know this may sound strange,
but our talk has been a real eye-opener.
I don't know what's wrong with me, I really
don't know. I guess Chris has me so
confused with his constant manipulation that
I have lost my mind.
I don't even like Chris anymore,
but you're right, here I am still dating him.
I have a
lot of anger,
but there have been good times as well. I
keep procrastinating making a decision, but
after last night I cannot put
this off any longer. After some
much-needed sleep, I
am going spend today giving my relationship some serious
thought. I
need to decide whether to stay or go."
When Marla said, "I
need to decide whether to stay or go," I froze.
Why she was
so indecisive? During our long talk, I
identified at least a half dozen times when
Marla stood at this same crossroad. Every
time she had baffled me with her decision to
hang on to a relationship that brought great
misery and little happiness. Why Marla had so much trouble quitting Chris was a
mystery for the ages.
Any woman in her right mind would have thrown
Chris overboard long ago. But who
ever said
Marla was in her right mind?
Now that Marla had
indicated Chris was still in
the running, I was full of dread.
Convinced
Marla was dealing with an unhealthy
obsession, I was incredibly worried what the outcome would be.
However, this hallway was hardly the place to talk about it.
I wanted her to come inside, but Marla
disagreed. Reluctantly, I fished in my
pocket to
retrieve her key. However, before handing
it to her, I took a quick look down the
hallway to
see if anyone had noticed us. Unsurprisingly,
at 6:15 in the morning, there was no one in
sight.
"Here's your key, Marla.
You should get
to your room before someone sees us."
When I said
that,
a dark look flashed across her face. Seeing
Marla upset, I felt a sudden pang
of insecurity. I had no idea what her concern was,
but I
did not think revealing my weakness
would help matters. So I said nothing.
After a brief, perfunctory kiss, we parted. As
I said, after our wonderful night, I should have felt elated. Instead I felt hurt
and very afraid.
Something was wrong.
|
Marla's Note:
6 A.M. After spending an
electric night with Rick, the sun was coming up.
We decided it was time to go back inside.
Rick suggested that I come in
for the next couple of hours till his 10 am dance
class. However I preferred to go to my own
cabin which was 4 doors further down from Rick's, so
I asked for my key back. I wanted to get a
couple hours of sleep, brush my teeth and take a
shower in my own cabin. Honestly, there was
nothing more to it than that.
When I asked for my key, Rick
surprised me by taking a long look in both
directions. I asked him what he was doing.
Rick stated that he wanted to make sure that we
wouldn't be seen together at this hour. I was
stunned. Not only that, I was hurt.
After hearing his response about not wanting to be
seen with me, my heart sank. I told him
that I did not know anyone on the trip and really
didn't care anyway. Here we go again!
Another deceitful man. Who is he trying to
hide me from?
I think Rick noticed how hurt
I was, but he said nothing.
|
|
I was unable to get to sleep.
Long ago, 27 years to be exact, I had been horribly
deceived by Vanessa, a two-timing monster who lied
anytime her mouth moved. Although my gut
warned me that something was amiss, I was too
fearful of losing her to speak up. There is a
theory that healthy relationships require a balance
of power. Vanessa held the upper hand because
she had two men. Every time she lied and I
backed down, Vanessa would get stronger while I got
weaker. The damage was so great it took me
four years to recover.
I had a funny feeling that Marla had
been living this same nightmare. On paper, Marla had
it all going for her. She was a single mother raising
her daughter without a lick of help for ten years, a
successful business woman, and brave in trying new things
like going to a dance class alone. She was bright,
beautiful, poised and dignified, the kind of woman that
like-minded women respect. She was a survivor, a
victim, a thinker, a worrier, a woman trying to find
friends, a woman trying to find a way out of a
psychologically abusive relationship. Plus I was
struck by her integrity. Despite being cheated on,
Marla refused to strike back. This woman was very
special. So what could possibly explain why she was
having so much trouble getting over the hump?
My answer was simple. Chris held
the balance of power because he had two women. The
fact that he had someone else to fall back on gave him
enough confidence to think he could abuse Marla. Just
then a very dark thought crossed my mind. Patty Hearst
and the Stockholm Syndrome. As bizarre as it sounds, a
victim can develop positive feelings toward their abusers
over time. Personally speaking, I had always thought
this theory was nonsense. How can someone retain warm
feelings towards an abuser? I hated to admit it, but
Marla's inability to break free seemed to lend credibility
to this far-out theory.
|
Day Two:
Sunday, 10 am, morning dance class
DANCE CLASS DISCORD
|
I had a
10 am dance class to teach. When I awoke,
I could not shake
the memory of Marla's dark
look before leaving. However, any chance
to clear the air would have to wait till class
was over. You
know how I am about Instinct. Last night
my Intuition about Marla's troubled relationship had
been proven correct in a spectacular way. Now
my Intuition warned me that Marla was more than
capable of pulling a Vegas... what happens on
cruise ships stays on cruise ships. With six years invested
in this man, I could understand why Marla would want to
be alone to think about Chris today. Marla
stated that she did not cheat. It was one man
or the other. She
might decide the risk of taking the unknown over the
known was not in her best interest. Marla had gotten a lot of anger out of her
system last night. In addition, although our
evening was platonic other than moonlight kissing, to some
extent she had evened the score with her wandering
boyfriend. Perhaps that was enough to clear
the way for Marla to patch things up. Remember the good times,
forgive and forget the bad ones.
Meanwhile, I
was helpless to do anything about it.
If there was one thing I believed about women, they
don't like to be pressured. If Marla and I
were to have a future, she had to come to me of her
own free will. All I could do was wait.
Hopefully Marla would
come to her senses and see Chris was a lost cause ,
but maybe not.
Who can say?
I should add one more detail to
explain my intense pessimism.
Over the years I had been in several Triangle
relationships where my girlfriend had her choice of
two men. Vanessa was one of them. What was my batting average?
Zero. My two marriages did not count. I
never faced a bit of competition for the hand of Judy or Pat.
However, it was a different story for Triangles. I had an Epic
Losing Streak, nine losses, no wins. Marla and
Chris makes ten. Thanks to Marla's Room Key speech
followed by the dark look that had crossed her face, I had a
terrible fear that my long history of coming up
short was about to be repeated. Given that I
had no idea what was wrong, the more I thought about
it, the more my paranoia
increased.
I was feeling very
shaky when I left my cabin for dance class.
My travel agent had placed many of our group
members in
this same hallway. This hallway included Sherry and Marla.
Their
room was just four doors down. As I passed
Marla's door, I thought about
knocking, but hesitated. Right now my
heart ached for Marla. However, despite my
insecurity, I willed myself to leave her
alone. When I reached the class room ten
minutes early,
Marla was not
there. Putting my disappointment
aside, I wondered what I should do
when she arrived. There is an axiom among lawyers. Never ask
a witness a risky question in front of a jury.
Considering I had no idea what was going through
Marla's mind,
the last thing
I wanted to do was put her on the spot in front of
the other students by hugging her or showing
affection. Even though I was dying to
know where she stood, I made a firm decision to play it cool in
dance class.
|
 |
Marla was
7 minutes late, last to arrive. Class had
started, so I was unable to speak to her in private.
At first I was pleased to see her, but that changed
when I
noticed she had a big frown on her face. Sensing
her dark mood, I would be unwise to
disrupt class by calling attention to her. I gave her a brief
nod, then continued what I was saying.
I have a
firm rule for every students to rotate partners. When it was
my turn to dance with Marla, I smiled
and said hi.
Marla gave me a tepid smile
in return, but said nothing.
I could see she had not slept well. More
likely,
she had not slept at all. Due to my
uncertainty,
I treated Marla the same way I
treated every other woman in class. I
smiled when we
danced, then rotated partners and went to
the next woman.
Marla frowned throughout dance class.
There was no longer any doubt that
Marla was
dealing with serious misgivings.
But what could I do? It wasn't like I could
stop class.
I figured we would clear it up at lunch.
Wrong.
At the
end of class I
was alarmed to discover
Marla was missing. Now I was
angry. Her evasion
was totally uncalled for. Marla had walked away from me
at 6:30 am, she was late to class, she had frowned throughout, and
now she had split when my back was turned.
It felt to me like she was playing games.
Upset that she left without saying
goodbye, my guard was up.
I had done nothing to deserve her cold shoulder treatment.
For that reason, I refused to act like a
puppy dog and chase her out of fear.
The bitter outcome of my
Vanessa Triangle had taught me never to grovel. If this
is how Marla wants to
deal with her issues, I wasn't going anywhere near her.
|
Marla's Note:
10 A.M. After a
brief nap and refreshing myself, it was time for the
10:00 a.m. dance class. Although
Rick later insisted
I was late, I was on time. He
never once looked my way. Nor
did he greet me when he finally did see me. In
two hours, he only danced with me
once. He was all business,
no smile, no hello Marla. I was just
one of many students. Or to
be more accurate, that's how I felt.
In fact, as my suspicions
rose, perhaps I was even less than that.
He offered no
genuine smile and absolutely generated zero warmth.
However, I did
notice that Rick had an
exceptional amount of "warmth" for
one particular lady.
Her name was Ashley.
Ashley and her
boyfriend Lawrence had been my classmates back in
the March Swing class. What bothered me was
that Rick seemed to gush all over Ashley, but
ignored me completely. Here is what upset me.
Last night I had reviewed countless moments in my
relationship with Chris where he had lied to me.
As a result, my emotions were already hair-trigger.
Seeing Rick make such a fuss over Ashley combined
with his fear of being seen with me in the hallway
earlier this morning, I had a gut feeling that I
wasn't the only woman on this trip that Rick was
interested in. Due to Rick's distant
behavior towards me and his clear affection towards
Ashley, I immediately left when the class concluded.
|
|
DAY TWO: SUNDAY AFTERNOON,
3 PM
IN MY CABIN ALONE
KNOCK KNOCK
|
|
|
I ate lunch alone,
walked around for a while, then returned to my cabin
at 1 pm. Marla appeared to have a bad
case of Cold Feet. I had no idea
why she had turned her back on me this
morning in the hallway. Nor did I know why
she had failed to stick around after dance
class. Actions speak louder than
words. If that was the case, Marla's
behavior this morning indicated she was headed back to Chris.
I
returned to my cabin shortly after lunch.
I tried very hard to figure out what was bothering
Marla, but got nowhere. Other than perhaps
the Stockholm Syndrome, a theory that was
difficult to prove, nothing about Marla made
much sense. Unable to decipher the riddle, I decided to bide my time and wait for
Marla to make the next move. Staying
away was a definite risk, but it was better
than groveling.
|
 |
I knew I would see Marla at the
Captain's Reception later this evening, so what I
needed now was to catch up on my sleep. With that, I dozed
off. At 3
pm, a knock on my door woke me from a dead sleep.
Excited that it was Marla, I jumped up.
However the woman at
the door was Connie, the woman who refused to take a
hint. I could not help but notice she was
wearing a swimsuit only partially covered by a wrap. What happened
to that guy she met last night? Funny how
things work. If Connie had not been
distracted by his arrival at dinner, would I
have been free to meet Marla at Midnight?
"Hi,
Rick, I enjoyed your dance class this
morning. I like Swing dancing a lot. Hey, I
could use some company. Come up to the pool with me."
Just
then Connie's wrap fell completely open.
Knowing Connie, gee, what a surprise.
Connie
was not known for her subtlety. I hated
myself, but I could not help but look. Connie's swimsuit left little to the
imagination. Despite my annoyance, I
appreciated her admirable figure. To my
further annoyance, I felt myself respond. I
knew what she
was up to. I was fairly certain
Connie would enter my room if invited, maybe even
close the door like Kellie had. Given that
Connie believed in overwhelming resistance with
persistence, I prayed she would not thrust her
breasts forward again like last night.
"Tell
you what, Connie, I will meet you up there. Let me
change and put on some suntan lotion."
Connie didn't miss a beat. With a big
smile, she said, "Would you like some help?"
"Uh,
no
thanks,
I can do it by myself. I'll see you up at the
pool."
Connie
smiled and just stood there. Perhaps she assumed I would
change my mind if she didn't leave. However, Connie
was out of luck because I preferred to wait
for Marla to make up her mind. After
a stand-off of sorts, she abided by my wishes
and left. Meanwhile I returned to
bed and picked up a crossword puzzle.
|
Poor Connie. If my heart wasn't spoken for,
no doubt her reception would have been different.
Timing is everything, right? 20 minutes
later Connie knocked again. Or should I say I
assumed it was Connie. I thought she was coming to see what was
taking me so long. I did not
dare answer the door.
However, a troubling new
thought entered my
mind. If Connie could knock on my door, what
kept men from knocking on Marla's
door? I thumped myself on the head. I
was so fixated on Chris as my threat, I had failed to realize I
was not the only guy with an eye on Marla.
That was made clear by the infatuated looks
of several men during the morning dance class.
How
much did I really know about Marla? Maybe Marla had come on this trip
with her eye on some other guy in the group.
Or maybe some guy had come on this trip with his
eye on Marla. Just exactly who
did Marla go to lunch with? Maybe she
accepted an offer from a morning admirer.
For that matter, Marla could
circle names on a checklist just as easily as I could.
Maybe she invited a lucky man to have lunch with
her. Already feeling insecure about Chris, now I had
something new to worry about. There might
be more competition than I realized. At
the moment my suspicious
mind was filled with all kinds of doubt. However, I
refused to back down from my decision to avoid
seeing Marla till this evening. I'll be damned if she thinks
I will crawl back after her 6:30 am snub at my door and
the lunch snub
after dance class.
|
Day Two:
Sunday AFTERNOON, 4-5 pm, up ON DECK
RESTLESS
|
 |
I could not stand being in my
cabin a moment longer. I had to walk
around and work off my nervous energy. So
at 4 pm
I returned to the same spot where Marla and I had
spent the early hours of the Enchanted Evening. For good
luck I
sat in the same chair as last night.
Cruise ships have a simple way to deal with
hurricanes. They sail in the other
direction. As a result,
the ship had left the
stormy weather far in the distance.
The
day was balmy with a gentle breeze. It was warm, but not miserably so. I could tell we were
hugging the
coast of Mexico due to the abundance of seabirds.
Most of the people up here
were sunbathing, but my over-analytical brain
does not permit mindlessness.
People say I think too much. I
think they're right. Besides, I needed to
stop worrying so much, so I resumed my crossword puzzle.
Just then I heard
a familiar
voice. It was Martin, my Salsa friend.
He walked right past me
carrying a
bucket of bottled beer. Tracking his path,
I saw him stop just beyond my view.
To my surprise, I heard Marla's voice when Martin
offered her a beer. Well, I'll be darned,
Marla is up here too. Apparently we
had both returned to the scene of the crime.
Although Marla
was out of sight,
I assumed she was engaged in serious
thinking. I wanted to say something,
but I was
still mad at her. Unable to concentrate on my puzzle knowing
Marla was likely deciding my fate
twenty feet away, I could not help but worry.
It
is one thing
for a badly neglected woman to fall into a
man's arms after margaritas and a long night of
soul-searching. It's another thing to jeopardize a six-year
relationship to pursue a man she barely knows. What a
shame Marla had to sober up.
|
Fifteen minutes
later I saw Marla get up.
The Captain's Reception was scheduled for 7 pm tonight.
This was an important dance event, so I assumed Marla had decided it was
time to start getting ready.
I watched in frustration as she headed off. I wanted to
speak to Marla in the worst way, but held back.
I
had lost favor with women in the past by trying too
hard .
I was determined not to make the same mistake again.
The sight of Marla walking away unnerved me so much that I
decided to get a drink and try to calm down. Not
surprisingly, I ran into a familiar group at the bar. I was not feeling particularly talkative,
so I found a corner and
spent my time deep in thought. With my nerves on edge,
I despised waiting. But there wasn't much I could do
about it.
I figured I would discover my fate
soon enough. Expecting to meet Marla at the
Captain's Reception in an hour, I finished
my drink and returned to my cabin.
I
was not in a very good frame of mind. If Marla decided
to return to Chris, I would be devastated.
It is all well and good to talk about accepting God's Will,
but why would God allow me to have an Enchanted Evening only
to rip her away from me? Is it possible for God to be
that cruel? Try as I might, I could not
get that damn proverb out of my mind.
"What
is not meant for you will not reach you
even if it is between your two lips."
|
 |
Marla's Note:
Afternoon Up On Deck.
I spent the afternoon up on deck with Sherry
catching some rays. I
wasn't sure where things were headed with Rick, but
before I dealt with him, I needed to make a decision
on Chris. After dredging up
a mountain of venom from
my six years with Chris, I
knew I could not put this
long-awaited moment off any longer.
As I stared out at
the ocean's churning waves, I decided it was time to
finally throw Chris overboard for good.
Feeling
an enormous amount of
relief, a peaceful easy
feeling came over me.
It was now late afternoon and time to get ready
for the big Captain's Reception at 7 p.m.
|
|
|
|
