Marla's Note: 

As Rick has explained, I knew very little about him through various dance classes.   Although he claims I should have detected his interest in me, it was never apparent.  When Rick points out I never gave him the time of day for six months, he is correct. 

Then came our unexpected meeting in the nightclub at Midnight.  That is when my relationship with Rick began like a wildfire.  What a surprise!  Not once since the moment I met Rick was there a spark of interest.  Suddenly as we are sitting at the bar having a mundane conversation about efficient transportation in the city, I blinked.  What the hell is happening to me?  I could really like this guy!  When my roommate came over to ask Rick to dance, I did not want him to leave me.  I thought to myself, "Don't be selfish!  Be gracious and let Rick go dance with Sherry if he wants to."  Then, I thought, "No!  NOT this time, Marla!  Tonight I am going to put myself first!"

Just then, Rick asked a nearby friend to dance with my roommate instead so he could stay with me.  I was very pleased, but also surprised.  Did he read my mind?

By our second day together, I felt like I had known him my entire life.  After working through our insecurities and having many frank discussions throughout the night, I began to gain a sense of comfort and ease with him.   With the aid of nine months of therapy, I was aware of what my priorities were in a relationship - Honesty, Faithfulness, Integrity and Respect.  I have explained how Dishonesty, Unfaithfulness, Deceit and Disrespect are my triggers.  Once Rick reassured me of his feelings towards me and apologized for his questionable behavior earlier in the day, my fears began to disappear.  I listened to Rick discuss his own issues throughout the night.  I understood why Rick was leery of an early commitment having just come off a divorce a few months previously.   However, I made it clear that I was not interested in a typical "dating" situation.  If we were to make this relationship work, we must commit to each other.   I was not going to relive another "Chris" ordeal.   I told Rick how honesty was a requirement for me and no matter what his truth is I wanted him to always tell me.  I did not want to ever be in the dark again.  Based on Rick's openness and his investment in clearing all of my concerns, I found myself falling in love with a man I had only spent 24 hours with.

Although some wishes turn out just like I hoped, Marla for example, other granted wishes have led to crushing disappointment.  Case in point, how about my graduate school failure?  During my college years, I wanted to do my part to make the world a better place.  I was interested in Psychology, so I thought I could help people by becoming a therapist.  I was ecstatic when I was accepted into graduate school.  But then I got tossed out.  Quite frankly, I went into a serious tailspin.  Unsure what to do next, I was lost in the wilderness.  Feeling sorry for myself, I accomplished little for four years other than take a series of pointless dance lessons.

Then came the Silver Lining.  One day out of the blue a dance career fell into my lap.  Shocked to finally find something I was good at, I asked God if I could teach dance for the rest of my life.  This wish was granted.  To my great satisfaction, the studio I created with God's help accomplished more good than I could have ever imagined.  Do you see my point?  My wish to make the world a better place was granted, just not the way I originally expected.  When making a wish, not only have I learned to be patient, but flexible as well.   In the words of Mick Jagger, you don't always get what you want, but you get what you need.

Here is something I find curious about the Cinderella legend.  Overlooked in the happy ending is the acute suffering Cinderella endured prior to meeting her Prince Charming.  Looking back over Heartfelt Wishes that have come true for me, I recall serious hardship prior to each.  In other words, God may decide to grant my wish, but I no longer expect it to come easy.  No doubt I will be required to learn hard lessons along the way. 

When a Heartfelt Wish leads to disappointment, what purpose is served?  That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger.  Throughout my successful dance career, time and again I have noticed how the harsh lessons I learned in graduate school came in handy.  For example, I failed due to my inability to withstand scathing criticism from an arrogant professor.  But the lessons I learned in dealing with the professor's authority allowed me to withstand an equally arrogant boss during the early stages of my dance career.  In other words, there may be a purpose to failure.  Winston Churchill said it best.

"I felt as if I were walking with Destiny, and that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and for this trial."

Where do Fairy Tales come from?  The 7 BC story of a Greek slave girl who married the king of Egypt is said to be the earliest known variant of the Cinderella tale.  Was this a true story?  Who knows.  But what difference does it make?  If you need a 'true story', look no further than Rick and Marla.  No strangers to heartache, we both longed to find a trustworthy partner to love.  And our wish came true in a remarkable way.

Maybe so, the Reader says, but that doesn't prove anything.  The laws of probability guarantee weird stuff will happen now and again.  Maybe. On the other hand, true stories where lovers meet under unusual circumstances abound.  Why is that? 

Prior to the Internet, most Cinderella stories remained untold.  That changed courtesy of Squire Rushnell, a TV personality who was interested in the nature of Coincidence.  Rushnell used his high-visibility platform to invite viewers to submit anecdotes regarding how they met their spouses.  Stunned by the number of people willing to testify that their connection felt guided by Fate, Rushnell wrote a 2002 book, When God Winks at You.

There was a subtitle: "How God Speaks Directly to You Through the Power of Coincidence."  The reaction to Rushnell's book was overwhelming.  Over the next 20 years there were 7 Godwink books and 4 Hallmark Godwink movies.  In the process, the term "Godwink" entered the public consciousness as "an event or personal experience, often identified as Coincidence, so astonishing that it is seen as a sign of Divine Intervention."

As Rushnell explains, "Godwinks happen to everyone.  They are extraordinary things that have happened to you; things you perhaps wondered about and maybe even dismissed as too unbelievable to believe.  When you develop the ability to see the Godwinks that are unfolding in your life, your entire existence becomes infinitely richer, happier, and more certain."

Rushnell's dramatic claim evoked great praise, but it also garnered strong pushback.  There are many people who object to the tendency to ascribe celestial importance to the nature of Coincidence.  Their favorite counter-argument involves statistics.  Although it is reassuring to think God will make things happen for us, to do so forces us to turn a blind eye to the stark rules of statistics.  After all, a quadzillion interactions between seven billion people will assuredly lead to a few really weird stories here and there. 

Hmm.  That point of view sure takes the fun out of Casablanca.  "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine...''  For that matter, why bother reading Gypsy Prophecy?  Boy likes girl.  Girl drinks too many margaritas and starts to like boy.  Big deal; candy is dandy, liquor is quicker, weird stuff happens all the time.  Why make a fuss about it?  In other words, while some rejoice over unexpected connections both riveting and rattling, others contend a religious belief in Coincidence is the crutch of the weak-minded. 

In 2002, a woman named Lisa Belkin published a fairly brilliant article titled "The Odds of That" in the New York Times.  It was a lengthy article, 26 pages, that analyzed the phenomenon of Coincidence from the religious point of view as well as the views of cold-hearted, unsentimental scientists who disavow any significance.  For example, Ms. Belkin interviewed Persi Diaconis, a Stanford statistician who has spent his career collecting and studying examples of coincidence.  And what did Dr. Diaconis have to say?

"Given that there are 280 million people in the United States, 280 times a day, a one-in-a-million shot is going to occur.''

In her article, Ms. Belkin took the time to interview Squire Rushnell of Godwink fame.  As it turned out, she had a personal reason.  She wanted Mr. Rushnell's opinion on a key moment in her life.

"During my interview with Rushnell, I told him the following story:

On a frigid December night many years ago, a friend dragged me out of my warm apartment, where I planned to spend the evening in my bathrobe nursing a cold.  I had to come with her to the movies, she said, because she had made plans with a pal from her office, and he was bringing a friend for me to meet.  Translation: I was expected to show up for a last-minute blind date.  For some reason, I agreed to go, knocking back a decongestant as I left home.  We arrived at the theater to find that the friend who was supposed to be my ''date'' had canceled, but not to worry, another friend had been corralled as a replacement.  The replacement and I both fell asleep in the movie (I was sedated by cold medicine; he was a medical resident who had been awake for 36 hours).  Four months later we were engaged.

We have been married for 15 years."

What did Mr. Rushnell have to say about Ms. Belkin's curious story? 

"Rushnell was enthralled by this tale, particularly by the mystical force that seemed to have nudged me out the door when I really wanted to stay home and watch Golden Girls.  I know that those on the other end of the spectrum -- the scientists and mathematicians -- would have offered several overlapping explanations of why it was unremarkable."

Given how seriously Ms. Belkin took the subject of Coincidence, for the most part she remained neutral.  However, she did offer one clue. 

"The more personal the event, the more meaning we give it.  This is why I am quite taken with my story of meeting my husband (because it is a pivotal moment in my life), and why Squire Rushnell is also taken with it (because it fits into the theme of his book)"

Thanks to an experience enhanced by the tell-tale signs of "predestined" Blind Date, when Lisa Belkin read about the Godwink theory, it is likely the book prompted her to do a great deal of soul-searching.  Did the Hidden Hand of God organize the meeting that took place with her husband-to-be?  Or was it just a random accident, a curious, yet meaningless anomaly?  

Here is my take.  As I have previously stated, my belief in Divine Intervention began at age 18 when Mrs. Ballantyne appeared 'by accident' at my grocery store.  Although I was a complete stranger to her, once Mrs. Ballantyne noticed how disturbed I was, she decided to take me under her wing.  This event challenged my view of Reality in such a disturbing way that I spent the next three years trying to answer the same questions as Lisa Belkin.  Statistical quirk or Fate?  After a great deal of thought, I decided 'Divine Intervention' made more sense than a random lucky break. 

I was full of doubt regarding Mrs. Ballantyne's timely assistance.  As well I should.  "I'm 18, I get confused every day!"  However, I was 50 when Marla appeared.  Thanks to a lifetime of analyzing the nature of Coincidence, my days of doubt were long gone the second I met Marla under very unusual circumstances.  I was certain from the moment I saw Marla standing there in the dance club that I was probably witnessing a Supernatural Event.  That conviction was strengthened the following day by two more coincidences.  Acting together, these three coincidences supported my belief that my relationship with Marla was an undeniable example of the Godwink phenomenon. 

In response to the naysayers, the more often one uses 'statistics' to dismiss bizarre happenings, it becomes obvious they prefer to overlook the deeper implications.  But here is the problem.  How many people encounter such an unusual number of reality-testing Coincidences as me?  I recall the time I told a friend about how I met Marla.  He replied, "Why don't stories like this happen to me?  Like they say, with so many people on the planet, weird stuff is bound to happen to someone."

As Lisa Belkin suggested, it all boils down to personal experience.  I have noticed that people like myself who have undergone a life-changing Coincidence are far more likely to ascribe religious value.  For those who have never undergone a mystical experience, they have a right to be cynical.  In that case, will my arguments be enough to convince a skeptic?  Who knows?  But guess what?  We are not done yet.  There are more coincidences yet to come.

RICK ARCHER'S LIST OF SUSPECTED SUPERNATURAL EVENTS

115

114

113

112

Suspicious

Coincidence

Ultra Serious

 Coincidence

Suspicious

Love is Blind
Cosmic Blindness

Serious

107

Suspicious

Lucky Break
Coincidence

Suspicious

Soul Mate Concept

Ultra Serious

Serious