MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER THREE:

THE VICTORIAN ERA

Written by Rick Archer 

LABOR DAY 1978 TO LABOR DAY 1979 THE VICTORIAN ERA

There is a saying that behind every successful man is the woman who put him there.  That is true for me.  I am in great debt to Victoria.  She taught me how to run a dance studio.  The story of The Texas Twostep would not make a bit of sense without her. 

The Victorian Era began with Victoria's appearance at my dance studio on the day after Labor Day 1978.  One year later, her reign as the Supreme Diva of Disco ended on Labor Day Weekend 1979.  Her demise was caused by extreme marital difficulties and problems caused by Urban Cowboy.

Saturday Night Fever debuted in January 1978.  I spent the first eight months of 1978 building my Disco dance program completely on my own.  I was very proud of my accomplishment at the time.  However, the day Victoria appeared, I discovered I still had a lot to learn.  She became my mentor.

She comes out of the sun in a silk dress
Running like a watercolor in the rain
Don't bother asking for explanations
She'll just tell you that she came

In the year of the Cat     -- Al Stewart

Victoria was like the cat who walks uninvited into your house and makes itself right at home.  Victoria was a stranger when she joined my class in progress on the Tuesday after Labor Day 1978.  She watched for five minutes, then proceeded to offer suggestions on how to help the men improve at partner dancing.  I was not sure what she meant, so Victoria grabbed me and made me demonstrate her idea in front of the whole class.  The students were impressed.  So was I.  At the end of class Victoria asked if she could be my official assistant on Tuesday.  Given the dramatic impact she had made on my class tonight, I quickly assented. 

By the end of the month my new assistant was more important to the dance program than me.  Did I object?  No.  Why not?  Victoria was unbelievable. 

It is important to note that Victoria was married.  Michael, her husband, was a highly respected cancer researcher.  He was also a nice guy.  I liked him a lot.  One month after we met, Victoria signed Michael up for dance classes.  That is how I got to know him.  They had one child, a beautiful home, and lots of friends.  Michael understood that Victoria felt neglected.  Over the past few years, Michael had put in long hours at the laboratory while Victoria sat at home twiddling her fingers.  Well aware that Victoria felt like she was wasting her life away, Michael was supportive of Victoria's initial interest in the dance studio.  He was pleased to see Victoria use her love of dance and socializing to snap out of her funk. 

From the moment she walked in, Sunshine Victoria treated my dance program as her own.  Not once did she ask to be paid.  She did this on a voluntary basis because she loved to dance.  She also thrived on the attention she received.  What was her motivation?  Victoria was tired of being a stay-at-home Mom all the time.  She loved organizing social events and dance parties, something I was not very good at.  Sensing my woeful inadequacy in such an important area, Victoria adopted my studio as her hobby and put her prodigious talent to good use.  For the first time in ages, Victoria felt like she was making an important contribution.  And contribute she did.  Over the final four months of 1978, Victoria doubled the size of my dance program. 

Beautiful and charismatic, Victoria turned heads wherever she went.  Victoria was tall, 5' 7", exquisitely well-curved with brown eyes and long blonde hair.  In high school Victoria modeled and entered beauty contests.  She knew all the latest dance steps, was a cheerleader and Prom Queen.  As one might gather, Victoria was comfortable in the limelight.  She was born to be popular.

In January 1979 Victoria picked up where she left off before Christmas.  Over the next four months Victoria doubled the size of my program again.  Thanks to her, I now owned the largest Disco program in the city. 

However, I feared it could all be gone in a flash.  I had become far too dependent on Victoria's help.  Although I taught all the classes and people made their checks out to me, Victoria was the reason my students kept signing up for more classes.  What was her secret?  Right from the start, Victoria understood I was in the 'Boy Meets Girl' business.  This embarrassed me no end.  Why didn't I see this myself?  Silly me, I thought all I had to do was teach dance. 

Victoria was a master at the social side of my occupation.  She scheduled huge meet and greet parties that allowed students from classes on different nights of the week to dance together.  Victoria was sheer magic with her emphasis on the 'Slow Dance leads to Romance' angle.  Thanks to Cupid and Victoria, people began falling in love right and left. 

Prior to the Victorian Era, people took dance lessons from me to meet the love of their life 'at the Disco'.  Thanks to Victoria, people discovered they could also meet the love of their life 'at Rick Archer's dance studio'.  Our classes ran two months at a time.  When their current class ended, the thought of meeting their next lover in dance class gave students an excellent reason to sign up for the follow-up class.

Not once did I breathe a word about 'Contracts', standard procedure for most dance studios.  Nor did I need to use any sort of strong-arm persuasion.  Our students got in the habit of signing up for the next 'group class' of their own free will.  Why?  Singles were always the core of my program.  Although learning new patterns was a fun challenge, friendship was the real attraction.  The chance to continue seeing their friends plus the chance to find their next love interest was the major incentive for singles to continue.  For some students, taking classes and going out dancing with their friends became so important they would wrap their lives around my studio.

The funny thing about solutions is that they always look so obvious after you know the answer.  I wish I could take credit for the 'friendship' and 'romance' insight, but that would not be truthful.  The credit goes to Victoria.

THE EPIC LOSING STREAK

I had mixed feelings about Victoria.  One part of me was full of gratitude.  I would have never achieved this level of success without her help.  Given my high degree of respect, I made it a point to watch and learn from the master.  However, I was also intimidated by her brilliance.  It was painful to realize she possessed social skills I could only dream about.

In my defense, there was a good reason why I was so inept.  I was only child.  Due to my difficult childhood, I grew up a loner.  Age 9 when my parents got their divorce, money became a real problem for my mother.  In order to avoid paying her mounting overdue rent bill, she was forced to skip out in the night once a year.  I had 11 homes in 9 years till I left for college.  These constant moves deprived me of a chance to make neighborhood friends.  Nor did I make many friends at school.  Thanks to a scholarship, I was the token poor kid at a rich kid's private school for nine years.  Just because I attended this posh private school did not make me a part of the social circles occupied by my affluent classmates. 

Let me add that a gruesome bout with acne stripped me of what little confidence I had when it came to talking with girls.  I cannot remember a single female classmate ever giving me a second glance other than to shudder.  Pretty much ignored for four years, I graduated without a single date in high school.  I would pay dearly for my lack of experience in college. 

I dated very little in college.  Since Johns Hopkins was a men's school at the time, finding girls to date was always a serious challenge.  I expanded my search by visiting other colleges in the area, but didn't get very far.  In particular I found it very difficult to approach college girls who were strangers.  Due to my lack of experience, the gift of small talk, friendship and flattery escaped me.  I botched so many early attempts that I developed an intense fear of rejection.  As my frustration mounted, I gave up and concentrated on my studies instead.  By repeating my mistake of remaining a loner in college, I fell further behind my peer group in social maturity and dating experience. 

I entered the 'Clinical Psychology' program at Colorado State University.  I planned to become a therapist, but immediately ran into serious trouble.  After spending 23 years as a moody loner, I was great at academics, but clueless at social interaction.  The head of my department took a dim view of my thin skin, my poor listening skills, and my bad habit of disagreeing with him during class.  Concluding my social acuity was too mediocre to be of much use as a therapist, he sent me packing after one year.  My professor implied that I flunked out due my shortcomings as a human being.  Seriously, how would you feel if someone said you were too emotionally disturbed to be of much use to your fellow man?  That was tough to handle.  I also managed to get my heart broken thanks to an evil girlfriend. 

Failure in love, failure in career, I was a basket case when I returned to Houston.  I was age 24 at the time.  Starting with my Freshman year in high school, over the past ten years I could count all my girlfriends on one hand.  There was Emily in my Freshman year of college.  She ran off with a rich sophomore after one month.  There was Arlene, the one bright star in my otherwise murky past.  She stayed with me for nine months.  I was an idiot to leave her behind, but I wanted to take my chances in graduate school.  As punishment, I met Vanessa, the single most deceitful woman I would ever meet in my life.  We all have our broken heart story, right?  I was so crushed by her betrayal, I was never the same during my final months at Colorado State.  On my long drive back to Houston, I reviewed my track record with women.  Pretty grim.  Other than Arlene, my luck with pretty girls was beyond abysmal.  Thanks to my fondness for gallow's humor, I gave my bad luck a name, the Epic Losing Streak.  Ten years and counting, no end in sight. 

Upon my return to Houston, I was so distraught over my problems in graduate school that I found myself unable to work up the courage to look for a new girlfriend.  For two months all I did was sit in my apartment too fearful to go to a club and face further rejection.  One day I ran across a self-help book with an interesting suggestion.  Let's say I spotted a girl, but was too afraid to speak to her.  The book said the fastest polite way to get her in my arms was ask her to dance.  Considering I was pretty much speechless around pretty girls, that suggestion was the light at the end of the tunnel.  Due to my desperation, I began dance lessons in 1974.  Always fearful of rejection, I hoped to use dance as a way to get to First Base. 

Unfortunately, my Dance Project failed to work like I had hoped.    The book had said the dance angle would only work if I was a good dancer.  It turned out that I was a slow learner.  I continued to strike out with women due to my acute shyness.  However I stuck with the lessons anyway since it had become a hobby.  As I am fond of saying, even a turtle gets somewhere if you give it enough time.

After a period of three and a half years I was finally competent.  Not a great dancer, mind you, but I had learned enough to be offered a part-time job as a Disco teacher.  Although I had a knack for teaching, I had trouble connecting to students on a personal level due my arrested social development.  That is when Victoria came to my rescue.  Although my social skills remained limited, she had more than enough popularity for the two of us.  

What would happen if Victoria left the studio?  Perish the thought.  I was no match for her skills Unfortunately, in December something happened that left her badly rattled.  Victoria had arranged a huge Christmas Party at our favorite Disco.  I estimate 350 people visited that night.  To Victoria's dismay, a woman named Joanne stole the show with her flashy partner dancing.  Considering Joanne was dancing with me at the time, Victoria was apoplectic.  This was treachery!  Here I was, the beneficiary of all her valuable assistance.  After all the work she did to organize this party, it drove her crazy to see me help some stranger steal her glory.  Although I meant no harm, Victoria had a tough time forgiving me.  That was a turning point.  Victoria was never the same after that incident.

After the Holidays, Victoria took a turn for the worse.  Starting in January 1979, Victoria abused her authority by taking an unhealthy interest in my love life.  Victoria's reign of terror began with Joanne.  She was my Monday night assistant as well as the best female dancer at the studio.  Our dance students met at the Pistachio Club every Friday night, yet another one of Victoria's many bright ideas.  Crowds varied from 70-100.  Whenever Joanne and I danced, our students lined the floor to watch us.  Joanne made things worse by letting the world know she had a serious crush on me.  Given that Victoria expected the Disco Ball to revolve around her and no one else, she could barely control her temper.  Worse, Victoria feared being replaced if I were to start dating Joanne.  Nonsense.  Given Victoria's genius at promoting the business, I would be an idiot to replace my superstar with this meek, unworldly young lady.  For some reason Victoria did not seem to realize she had nothing to worry about.  Instead she became intensely paranoid. 

Victoria also had her claws out for Patricia, my glamorous girlfriend.  Perhaps the Reader raises an eyebrow.  How exactly does a young man who has confessed to a lifetime of incompetence end up dating a beauty like Patricia?  To my great surprise, here in Year 14 of my Epic Losing Streak, my recent success as a dance teacher worked wonders for my confidence.  Surrounded by smiling women at the studio, I made great strides in my skill with women during 1978.  Now I was ready for Patricia, the toughest romantic challenge of my life. 

Patricia was the mirror image of the poised, highly intelligent young ladies I had gone to school with at St. John's.  Born to prosperity, Patricia was a former debutante who aspired to marry a wealthy husband.  Considering I was not particularly well-paid, what on earth was Patricia doing with me?  It was a fluke, a very curious accident.  When we met at the studio, Patricia was surprised to discover I was just as educated as her.  Even better, the moment she learned I had gone to a rich kids school for nine years, Patricia incorrectly assumed I too was rich.

This was a perfectly logical mistake.  All the other men she had met from St. John's had been wealthy.  By the time she learned the truth, Patricia liked me too much to cut me loose like she should have.  Instead Patricia decided to make me rich.  Taking note of my excellent education, Patricia did everything in her power to persuade me to give up teaching dance and become a lawyer instead.  When I resisted, fireworks ensued.  Since we were well-matched in many ways, we might have overcome this issue if Victoria had not constantly interfered.  My relationship with Patricia was strange to say the least.   A rocky one as well.

TEMPTATION TRIANGLE

Imagine my dilemma.  Here at the start of 1979 I had three women chasing me.  I was reminded of the lyrics from 'Take it Easy', a song by the Eagles.

I'm a-runnin' down the road trying to loosen my load
I've got seven women on my mind
Four that wanna own me, two that wanna stone me
One says she's a friend of mine

Referring to my troublesome threesome as the 'Temptation Triangle', I did my best to play them against each other.  My dangerous game of Paper, Scissors and Rock worked fairly well until the day came when Victoria decided to play dirty. 

Why did Victoria resent Joanne and Patricia so much?  Due to her unhealthy obsession with my love life, at first I assumed jealousy was the reason.  However I changed my mind.  Popularity and universal acclaim was her real goal, not me.  Using her ability to organize large dance parties, Victoria was always the center of attention.  This is how she built my program into a juggernaut.  In the process Victoria accomplished her objective to become the Supreme Diva of Disco.  She was widely admired for her beauty, dance ability and vivacious personality.  Now we come to the Mystery.  Even though Victoria had all the fame and acclaim a woman could hope for, she feared losing her throne.  Why?  It started with 'Camelot', my nickname for the studio's weekly get-together at the Pistachio Club on Fridays. 

Camelot was a good example of Victoria's genius because it maximized the program's Boy Meets Girl potential.  Students from my various weeknight classes were invited to meet for an evening of dance and romance.  Back when I was her bumbling, stumbling sidekick, no woman bothered to give me a second glance.  Now, thanks in large part to Victoria's help, I was a star in my own right.  A solid year of non-stop dancing plus private dance lessons had worked wonders.  I had become a top-flight performer who commanded the attention of a legion of single women.  In addition, thanks to watching Victoria's social skills like a hawk over several months, I was starting to catch on.  Age 29 I was surrounded by women on a nightly basis.  For the first time, women viewed me as someone interesting to date, maybe even marriage material.  It had taken me quite a while to reach my potential, but better late than never. 

Now that my popularity rivaled hers, Victoria realized her tutelage had backfired.  Having shed my sense of inferiority, I now held the Keys to her Kingdom.  Victoria felt insecure because she needed my cooperation in order to succeed.  Her paranoia made no sense because I needed her to succeed as much as she needed me.  What kept Victoria from seeing that her position as Queen of the studio was totally secure?  Beats the heck out of me.  I cannot tell you how many times I tried to reassure this beautiful, multi-talented woman that I had no desire to kill the golden goose.  However, it did no good.  Victoria continued to feel threatened.

Joanne and Patricia had a lot to do with her fears of being replaced.  Whenever our students met at the Pistachio Club, Patricia was the only woman more beautiful than Victoria.  Joanne was the only woman who was the better dancer.  Victoria was unwilling to settle for second best.  Furthermore, she knew Patricia hated her and begged me to get rid of her.  Victoria was unwilling to tolerate any threat to her throne.  Fearful that Patricia would manipulate me against her, Victoria struck first.  She went about eliminating Patricia by spreading vicious gossip.  And while she was at it, she used her gossip ability to get rid of Joanne too. 

This led to an ugly surprise.  Once her two rivals were gone, Victoria was stunned to see other women line up to take their place.  This caused Victoria to panic.  Fearful of being replaced by a woman who posed an even greater threat, Victoria decided something had to be done.

VICTORIA'S ACHILLES HEEL

Throughout high school and college, I had a fear that women saw me as a creepy loser.  When this fear was reinforced by my demise in graduate school, it led to my acute fear of rejection when I returned to Houston.  I turned to dance lessons in search of a cure.  To my dismay, my solution failed to work.  I was not a natural dancer by any stretch of the imagination, so progress was slow.  But I thought it might work someday, so I stayed with it.  Thank goodness I persisted.  When I became a dance teacher, my new career worked wonders for my confidence. 

Dancing six nights a week throughout 1978 helped me develop into one of the best Disco dancers in the city.  It had taken four years to reach this point, but finally the ladies began to take notice.  When the studio met at the dance club on Fridays, there I was showing off. 

It is a well-known fact that women are attracted to excellence.  Using the dance floor as my stage, I could tell by the smiles of appreciative young ladies that they liked what they saw.  I began to feel attractive for the first time in my life.  This was the moment I realized I would never have trouble meeting women again.  It was an amazing discovery.  Who would have ever guessed that learning to dance would one day cure 14 years of insecurity around beautiful women?

Unfortunately, I was not the only one who noticed the change.  I believe it was my unexpected emergence that unsettled Victoria the most.  Even if she got rid of Patricia and Joanne, there seemed to be no end to other potential rivals.  Not only were these attractive women interested in me, they were SINGLE.  To her dismay, this was the moment Victoria realized her status as a married woman left her at a serious competitive disadvantage.  Her wedding ring had become her Achilles Heel. 

So what did Victoria decide?  I believe she decided to have an affair with me.  If this was true, then why?  This is shaky ground, so let me tread lightly.  My best guess is that Victoria wished to prevent a phenomenon known as 'bedroom talk'.  Worst case scenario, let's say my new girlfriend was a dance major in college.  She was attracted to me for any variety of reasons.  Maybe she was looking for a dance partner to enter contests, perhaps work for me, maybe as a good companion.  As I basked in the glow of love, perhaps I could be persuaded to throw Victoria overboard and let my new honey inherit her throne.  Since Victoria was unwilling to chuck her marriage away, having an affair would eliminate bedroom talk. 

Do I know this for a fact?  Yes, but not at first.  Victoria was not one to blatantly state her intentions.  However, the day came when she pointedly suggested we have an affair.  There were three stages.  Stage One, Victoria tolerated Joanne and Patricia's place at the studio.  However, she constantly meddled and made things difficult for me and the two women.  In Stage Two, Victoria decided to clean house.  She was a master at using the telephone to turn public opinion against Joanne and Patricia.  A stay-at-home mother, Victoria amused herself by talking to her legion of studio girlfriends during the day.  Her malignant gossip stirred up so much hostility that timid Joanne could not cope.  She left the studio in March.  I was angry when Victoria sent her into exile.  I had a soft spot for Joanne. 

Patricia got the same treatment, but refused to quit.  This led to Stage Three.  Despite Patricia's presence, in May Victoria announced she loved me.  Frightened, I asked her to back off, and so she did.  Were there sparks between us?  Yes.  We had started as friends, but once Victoria began to pursue me, I was sorely tempted to cooperate.  For the record, my conscience did not want Victoria.  Now let me contradict myself and admit my libido wanted Victoria.  Of course I wanted Victoria!  I also wanted Sophia Loren and Raquel Welch.  There are certain women any red-blooded man would desire.  Victoria was one of them.  So, as we probe the depths of my mind, I admit I was strongly attracted to Victoria.  Nor did I feel guilty about my attraction.  To me, it was perfectly natural to desire a woman as beautiful and talented as Victoria.  However, at the same time I did not covet another man's wife, especially a man I liked.

At the end of June, Victoria tried a new tactic.  Ignoring the fact that Patricia was still in the picture, Victoria announced that her husband had given her permission to seek a relationship outside their marriage.  She referred to this as her 'European Arrangement'.

"I read an article that suggests 33% to 50% of French marriages include discrete affairs.  The tacit, but widely-accepted rules state that as long as the players promise their affairs will remain invisible, it is permissible."

At that thought, I began to tremble.  Victoria possessed considerable allure.  Under ordinary circumstances, I would dearly love to take her in my arms.  That said, I was dead set against having an affair.

First and foremost, I respected Michael too much to do this to him.  I did not believe for a moment that he had given her permission.  Furthermore, my childhood had been ruined by my father's mistress.  Why do you think my father suddenly wanted a divorce?  The moment Dad married the bitch [pardon my French], she persuaded him to abandon me.  Meanwhile, my mother had a nervous breakdown.  There I was, 9 years old, an unstable mother and no father.  More or less on my own from that point on, I turned into a moody loner with low self-esteem.  Now you know why they threw me out of graduate school.  I was too screwed up to be of much help to anyone.  Thanks, Dad.

Victoria had a daughter named Stephanie.  Realizing Stephanie could very well face the same trauma that had ruined my childhood, I told Victoria I refused to have an affair.  That is when Victoria changed tactics.

"I am not sure my marriage is worth saving.  Michael isn't sure either.  He and I are leaving this afternoon for our Fourth of July trip.  We have agreed to have a long talk at some point.  When I return from my trip, I will explain what we have decided to do about our marital problems.  But first I want to make sure of your interest because I expect to be free soon."

"[Before leaving her husband], first she wanted to confirm my interest."

I did not see that one coming.  Victoria's declaration that she expected to be free soon hit like a tidal wave.  Hmm.  What would I do if Victoria separated from her husband?  Caught off-guard, I said something foolish. 

"There will be no sneaking around, but if you decide to separate from her husband, yes, I would pursue a relationship.  In fact, if things work out, you are welcome to move in with me."

In Hindsight, that was a pretty dumb thing to say.  In my defense, I was not the first man to ever have his conscience and libido locked in a vicious civil war.  Victoria's surprising declaration led to one of the great mysteries of my life.  While she was gone on her vacation, I did a lot of thinking.  Whenever I was not lusting for Victoria, I wondered why we couldn't just be friends.  I suspected Patricia was probably not 'The One'.  That said, given the parade of women who passed through the studio, I bet I could find someone special to replace her.  As for Victoria, she had a perfectly good husband.  This was a man who by her own account had treated her well until recently.  Okay, Michael had become increasingly grouchy at seeing his wife gone four nights out of seven, but who could blame him?  Why not cut back a little at the studio?  In other words, 'compromise' for the good of the marriage.  This is why I had told Victoria many times that we did not have to be romantically involved.  Just let me find a girlfriend and we can remain platonic partners at the dance studio.  She could have the studio and her husband at the same time.  It seemed like a win-win solution for everyone involved.

Unfortunately Victoria did not want to be 'friends'.  She said she was in love with me.  Since Victoria seemed unwilling to make her marriage work, I foolishly left the door ajar.  I would pay dearly for that mistake.

COLD FEET

In Hindsight, I confess I did not handle Victoria's "I expect to be free" properly.  So what if Victoria was beautiful and a great dancer, she was a married woman.  Even if Victoria was pivotal for my business, why would I welcome her advances?  This is a very sensitive subject, so let me explain.  I did not encourage Victoria to leave her husband.  But I knew they were having marital problems.  And why were they having problems?  Because Victoria was gone four nights out of seven to enjoy the Disco World.  So, yes, since I was a major part of the Disco World, I was a factor.   However, in my defense, I did not encourage her to leave her husband.  That was her idea.  If Victoria wanted out, since we had so much in common, I would be foolish not to show interest. 

Now for a twist of Fate.  While Victoria was gone over the July 4th holiday, Patricia and I entered a dance contest.  When a drunk woman lost her balance on the dance floor, she put her hand on my back to avoid falling.  Her shove caused my elbow to catch Patricia right in the mouth, splitting her lower lip in the process.  With her face covered in blood, I raced Patricia to the restroom.  It was a bizarre accident to be sure.  Humiliated, disfigured, full of pain and deeply frustrated, Patricia abruptly broke up with me when we reached her apartment later that night.  Who could blame her?  Thanks to Victoria's constant meddling, our relationship had been on life support for some time.   Given that this bizarre accident felt like a very bad omen, I decided our breakup was for the best.

After the breakup, I was free to date whomever I wished.  I had a list of candidates, but hesitated.  Before starting something new with another woman, I decided to wait for Victoria's return to see if she was sincere about her promise to leave Michael.  If Victoria was free, I would be hard pressed to find a woman superior to her.  I had known Victoria for ten months at this point.  Talented, warm, sexy, fabulous dancer, Victoria was the woman of my dreams.  Given her business sense and dance ability, she fit my life like a glove.  So, if Victoria was available, of course I was interested in dating her.  When Victoria returned to Houston after her trip, I expected she would follow through on her flowery promises to seek a romance.  So why start something new with another woman?  Better to wait for Victoria.

In Hindsight, I wish I had looked for the new girlfriend when I had a chance.  When Victoria returned, she quickly pulled the rug out from under me.  Thanks to a stern lecture from her father during her vacation, Victoria had developed a strong case of Cold Feet.  Victoria claimed she was still interested in me, but needed time to think about it.  I was so angry.  This felt like the proverbial bait and switch.  Promise me a rose, lead me by the nose, then leave me hanging.  Thanks a lot.  Profoundly embarrassed by her switcheroo, I suggested we stick to being friends and let me move on.  And what did Victoria say to that?

"Oh no, Rick, you need to stick around.  My feelings for you are too strong.  You owe it to me to be patient while I sort out my future.  I would prefer you not date anyone else."

THE INFAMOUS HUSBAND LIST

Victoria's Cold Feet marked a major turning point.  Unfortunately, this was shaping up to be a classic Love-Hate relationship.  Due to my woeful inexperience at dealing with strong women, Victoria had a bad habit of asserting her will over me.  I disliked being bossed around regarding the dance program.  And where did she get the nerve to tell me to avoid looking for a girlfriend?  I did not appreciate being jerked around nor did I like being told to wait while she made up her mind.  Nor did I trust Victoria very much.  I had a hunch she was far more interested in fooling around than actually leaving her husband.  Plus I was still mad at Victoria for chasing off Joanne and Patricia. 

So why didn't I simply tell her to shove off?  Due to her penchant for viciousness plus her octopus-like control of my dance program, I feared Victoria would leave the studio if I stood up to her.  This was not a good time to be taking risks.  As one Disco after another closed thanks to the Urban Cowboy menace, I noticed that attendance had begun to drop in June and July.  I could not help but worry what would happen if Miss Popularity left now.  For this reason I chose to appease her rather than stand up to her. 

In mid-July Victoria dropped a bombshell.  One morning she asked me to meet her at a coffee shop.  After we sat down, she handed me something she called her 'Husband List'.  Insisting we review this together, Victoria pulled out a pen.  She used it as a pointer to go over the List line by line.  

  Victoria said her father greatly admired her husband.  In her father's eyes, Michael was a Prince among men while I was a playboy/gigolo who he was certain would use her, then discard her when I was ready.

  Victoria compared my socio-economic status to that of her husband.  I came in second.  Make that a 'distant' second. 

  Victoria compared the social status of my job to her husband.  Again I came in second.  Michael was a much-praised researcher in an important field while I was a lowly dance teacher on par with gypsies, tramps and thieves (according to her father).

  Victoria compared our educational background.  I came in second.  Her husband had a doctorate, I had a bachelor's degree.  Victoria almost added 'graduate school failure', but bit her tongue at the last second.  I got the point.

  Victoria compared our job stability.  I came in a poor second due to Urban Cowboy.  I could lose my dance job any day now. 

  Victoria compared our houses.  My house finished somewhere around 100 in a two-house competition. 

  Victoria compared our track record as husband.  Michael was rated as superior.  Beside my name was "does not apply". 

  Victoria compared our track record as father.  Michael was an excellent father.  Beside my name was "does not apply". 

Was I superior to Victoria's husband in any way?  No, not according to Victoria.  I was stunned by the utter cruelty of her ambush.  I was also furious.  Although I basically agreed with everything Victoria had written, was it really necessary to rub these shortcomings in my face?  If Victoria thought so little of me, then what was all this nonsense about separating from her husband?  Stop wasting my time!  Bitter towards Victoria for deliberately humiliating me, I slammed my hand on the table so hard I made the coffee spill.

"Damn it, Victoria, don't you have anything better to do than find new ways to insult me?  For crying out loud, if Michael is so much better at everything, then what do you want from me?  Why don't you just leave me the hell alone and get out of my life!?"

I was ready to call it quits right there, but Victoria said not so fast.  She used her importance at the studio to force me to continue discussing the possibility of a serious relationship.  I was incredulous.  Victoria had just made it clear that if I tried to walk away, she would withdraw her support at the studio.  As I had feared, Victoria was more than willing to use threats to keep me in line.  Well aware of her importance to my business, my hands were tied.

This Husband List marked a seismic shift in my attitude towards Victoria.  I knew Victoria craved comfort, security and wealth.  I also knew Michael could provide these things to a far greater degree than me.  So what prevented Victoria from following through on her own logic?  That was the Mystery.  Any woman in her right mind could see that Michael was the better choice, so what was Victoria trying to accomplish with this bizarre holding pattern?  "I need more time to think..." 

I was reminded of the lyrics from a song by Diana Ross and the Supremes. 

"Set me free, why don't you, babe?  Get outta my life, why don't you, babe?  You just keep me hanging on."

What did Victoria want?  If forced to guess, Victoria wanted to be married to Michael and use me for entertainment.  Given that I held the key to her Disco fantasies, I was more or less a means to an end.  I understood that.  But what I did not understand is why Victoria felt the need to pursue a romance.  I was more than happy to make her Disco Dreams come true on a friendship and business basis.  So why deceive me into thinking I was more important than I really was?  Victoria was playing a very nasty game.  However, since I saw no easy way to extricate myself due to my economic dependency, I gritted my teeth and reluctantly continued to play along. 

Fearing retribution, I did not tell Victoria that her Husband List was the final straw.  Yes, I was sexually attracted to Victoria, but I was not remotely in love.  I could have been in love, but I did not trust her.  Why not?  BECAUSE VICTORIA'S DECLARATION OF LOVE MADE NO SENSE.  Victoria did me a favor with her Husband List.  Everyone says that Love does not have to make sense, but I disagreed.  In my book, temporary Love does not have to make sense, but permanent Love does.  After reviewing the Husband List, I could not fathom a single valid LONG TERM reason why Victoria would prefer me over Michael.  Okay, maybe she was just looking for revenge.  Maybe Michael did something bad.  Cheating?  Drinking?  Gambling?  Bills?  Lying?  Nope.  Not once in ten months had Victoria suggested even the slightest shortcoming.  The only thing Victoria complained about was Michael's tendency to work too hard.  I was aghast.  Of course the man works long hours!!  How else can he afford to give Victoria her life of luxury?  And look how she repays him!  Indeed, I was so disgusted with this woman that the Husband List marked the end to any illusion that Victoria was the woman of my dreams.   I WOULD NEVER MARRY THIS WOMAN.

The thing is, I agreed with Victoria's List.  Michael was a great guy.  I liked him.  And I agreed with every one of her points.  Michael provided the status, affluence and security that Victoria craved.  In addition he was a great father.  Okay, so maybe Victoria was infatuated with me or more likely the world I inhabited.  However, I would never come FIRST in her mind.  At best I was 'Mistress Material'.  Or maybe we should call it 'Mattress Material'.  I was unwilling to accept this role.  I wanted to find a woman who would put me FIRST.  But that would have to wait till later.  Right now my priority was to protect my dance program. 

I had seen what she did to Patricia and Joanne, so I knew what Victoria was capable of.  If I tried to remove Victoria by force, I would be taking a huge chance.  So I had a better idea.  The Husband List made it clear that Victoria was nowhere near as in love with me as she claimed.  Given that Michael was the better choice by a wide margin, I decided that sooner or later Victoria was going to come to her senses and choose Michael.  Rather than break it off and risk infuriating Victoria, I decided to wait her out, sort of like they used to do with a medieval siege.  Time was on my side. 

So what happened next?  During July and August we entered a period known as 'Car Talk'.  Victoria was gone from her home four nights a week.  She went dancing at the Pistachio Club on Friday and Annabelle's on Sunday.  She also taught dance class two nights a week.  After we finished teaching on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Victoria insisted that we go sit in her car and talk things over.  Using me as a sounding board, Victoria would actively discuss leaving Michael.  Why did she want to leave?  Because he was always mad at her these days.  Personally, I thought Michael had every right to be angry.  But did I say that?  No.  The less said, the better.

As I listened to her endless complaints, I tried to imagine what was going through Michael's mind.  Here we were sitting in Victoria's car in the dark late at night.  His wife was getting home at least a half an hour or one hour later than necessary.  It was a big car with large, soft, inviting seats.  What the hell was going on in that car almost till Midnight?  Although we never kissed or touched during Car Talk, how was Michael supposed to know that? 

So why did Michael tolerate this?  I don't know.  We never spoke.  However, my guess is he expected Victoria to come to her senses just like I did.  Meanwhile Victoria's outrageous behavior stretched the limits of Michael's trust far beyond the breaking point.  There is a legal term, 'Alienation of affection'.  I am quite sure Michael blamed me for causing the breakdown of their marriage.  Did he have a valid point?  Yes, but probably not to the extent he believed.  I was actually on his side, but how was Michael supposed to know that?  All I was doing was waiting her out.  I did not like how Victoria was treating Michael, but at the same time I was facing a major threat due to Urban Cowboy.  I was not willing to jeopardize my shaky dance program by standing up to her.

So what broke the impasse?  Nothing.  In fact, things became much more complicated in August.  Not only did Victoria do her best to seduce me, a bizarre Dance Curse made the tension unbearable.