I stopped what I was doing and stood there awaiting his
arrival. At the time, I had no idea what he was so upset
about.
To my shock,
without warning the man came right up me,
put both hands on my chest and
shoved me hard.
I was knocked backwards several
steps, but I did not fall over.
I was
astonished. In 35 years since I began teaching dance, no
man has ever struck me in anger… until now.
Stunned, I said,
“Did you just put your hands on me?”
I was really
taken off guard. Mind you, I had no history of animosity
with this man. This was the same man who had worn a
Princess tiara to dinner the previous night. At the time,
he had politely invited me to kiss him on the cheek… which I
did.
He was obviously
not in a kissing mood tonight.
I don’t remember
his exact words, but he made it clear he was angry because I
had yelled at his girlfriend. He added that I had insulted
her. He had shoved me hard because he was defending her
honor.
I have to admit
something. I had no idea what he was talking about. The
only thing I could remember saying to the
woman was “No Wobble”. I was
so shocked by the level of his aggression that I wracked my
brains to figure out what I had done to make
him this angry. Was there
something else I said that I had forgotten about?
It would not be
until four days later that someone reminded me of my “That’s
it; we're done here” remark.
It is pretty strange to think the fight
was based on words that had so little meaning to me that I
didn't even remember saying them. However, I did raise my voice
when I spoke, so perhaps that was the spark
that lit the bonfire. On the other
hand, those words are so innocuous that maybe it was
something else.
All I know is that it is very hard to
defend your words when you don't even remember what your
words are.
As these thoughts raced through my brain,
it took me a
moment to react to his attack.
I remember being overwhelmed with shame. I felt horrible because
I felt like I had done something to
tarnish my wife’s hard work.
I was beside
myself with regret. I remember
thinking, "How did I ever get myself into this mess?"
All I wanted to do was Waltz,
but instead everything had turned into this
nasty bile.
No one would ever be able to think of
this trip again without remembering this confrontation.
My next thought
was to wonder why this man was so darn angry at me.
Meanwhile my assailant
stood there glowering at me. He was seething with anger.
Whatever his problem was, he wasn't done
yet. He clearly had more things to get off his chest.
Whether I liked it or not, it was either walk away or stand
up and meet the challenge.
I chose to stand up to him.
I addressed him
by name and said, “You know, there is a right way to do things and a
wrong way to do things. This is not the right way to handle
this matter.”
He replied,
“Well, then you tell me what’s the right way. She asked you
nicely 15 minutes ago to play her song. What’s your problem
with that? And what business do you have yelling at her?
All she wanted was for you to play her song.”
I took one look
at the man and realized he didn’t have his facts straight.
In my mind, he
was totally wrong on two accounts.
-
I had never yelled at his woman.
-
I had spoken to his woman for the first time
all night long about 2 minutes
ago.
This
was ridiculous. Why was this
man arguing with me over things that made no sense??
Or should I say why was he arguing with me about things he
didn't know?
What was he basing all this anger on?
I decided he didn't have a clue what he was
talking about.
This man had simply jumped to conclusions
and lost his temper.
He could have avoided the entire incident
by
checking his assumptions with me, but he
didn't do that.
Instead, like a bully, he
just walked right up to me and shoved me without
warning. I never had a chance to defend myself.
Now that I
realized how ignorant he was of the facts, I got pretty hot
under the collar. This guy had shoved me for no good
reason. In my book, that's a cheap
shot.
In addition, he had just ruined my wife’s trip
by losing his temper
so needlessly.
In this grand display, he had
shamed me and embarrassed my wife. I
didn’t appreciate being humiliated in front of my wife and
friends one bit, especially since I had done nothing to
deserve being treated with this level of contempt.
I was ready to give him a piece of my
mind. I got right up in
his face. “What the
heck is your problem?!?"
He
proceeded to say several harsh words to me.
“No one speaks to
my woman that way!”
At this point,
some involuntary saliva hit me in the face. I did a
double take. Then I got right back up against his chest and
said, “Did you just spit in my face?”
For the record,
he said no; he denied spitting on me. So I guess we
disagree on that one. In his defense, I don’t think he even
realized what he had done.
However, this
intensified my anger. At this point our faces were four
inches apart. He didn’t like having me in his face, so he
pushed me backwards using his chest against my chest.
I held my ground
as best I could, but he outweighed me by forty pounds. I had no choice but to
take a step back.
I guess it was
'Pick on Grandpa Night'.
Now he warned me,
“Back off, Rick, or you’re going to get hurt!!”
I might be forced
to back up, but I wasn’t backing off. I stayed right in his
face and challenged him. “So do you want to hit me? Is
that what you want to do? Is this worth fighting over?”
He replied, “You
don’t want to fight me. I’ll tear you to pieces.”
“Oh, really, Mr.
Wobble? Aren’t you the tough guy!”
“Don’t push me,
Rick. I will rip you up. I don’t like you. I have never
liked you.”
Strangely enough,
that remark broke the tension for me. For a second, I
thought it might be fun to goad him
with the memory of our precious kiss
last night. Probably not
a good idea. I may have a big mouth, but I’m not that
stupid.
However I do
remember having a private smile comparing this tough guy to
the man who begged me to kiss him
delicately on the cheek.
Then
I laughed to myself. Were we really fighting over the Wobble? Has there
ever been a dumber fight than this one??
As we continued
to argue face to face, several men tried to come between
us. Although I appreciated their gesture, I motioned for
them to let us be. I was still mad, but I wasn’t actually
afraid.
I had no desire
to fight this guy. However, when someone pushes me, I don’t
back down. It's a guy thing. I stood in there
because I did not appreciate being bullied, especially over something
as stupid as the Wobble and over a
woman I had not
insulted.
Now that I had
my private giggle, I
calmed down enough to start thinking.
I became curious to know why he had
become so belligerent in the first place. “So what exactly
is your problem with me?”
“You are an A….!
And I’m not the only one who thinks that. Everyone knows
it. You are a complete A…! I will never go on one of your
cruises again. Never. That’s it for me. And I intend to
tell every one of my friends not to go either. I am going
to tell them the truth about you.”
“Okay. Got
it. Anything
else?”
“Yeah. I expect
you to apologize to my girlfriend.”
For the first
time I noticed the woman standing a few feet away. To be
honest, I was so lost in this confrontation that I still
didn’t have the slightest idea what I had done to offend
her.
However, if I had
upset her, I had no problem offering an apology. She had
always treated me warmly; I had no issues with
this lady.
So I told the
lady I was sorry I had upset her. And I meant it.
This seemed to
mollify her boyfriend somewhat. We exchanged a few more
taunts, but as other men got between us, our 4
minute showdown began to wind down. At this point he and
his girlfriend went back to the other side of the room.
I packed up my
stuff and left.
THE DOORS OF PERCEPTION
In any conflict,
it is extremely difficult to accurately
recall all the details.
Many movies have been made about the unreliability of
eyewitness accounts. Many times people see things out of
the corner of their eye, but aren't sure
what they saw because they weren't paying attention
from the start.
For that matter,
in sports, until instant replay came along, frequently it
was only the retaliation that was
seen and never the thing that started the blowup.
As a result, often the wrong guy got punished with ejection.
Concerning this
confrontation, I was surprised to discover that even people
sitting as close as five feet away weren't
quite
sure what had
happened. Everything developed so
quickly we were all caught off guard.
I am going give
you three simple examples.
ONE - MARLA
Marla has been
deeply upset ever since the confrontation ruined her perfect
trip and embarrassed her terribly.
Given her ringside seat, you would assume
that Marla would remember everything perfectly. That
is not the case.
Marla will tell you
herself she doesn’t remember everything that happened
very well at all. She was engrossed in a serious
conversation at the time and did not even begin to pay
attention until the shoving began.
The only thing she is certain of is that I did not raise my
voice because she would have heard that. After all,
she was sitting just a few feet away. In addition, she did
hear our Wedding Waltz begin to play and thought that was
kind of strange. She did not
realize at the time that I had planned to surprise her.
However, since Marla did not pay
attention to my initial
conversation with the girlfriend, she has
been trying to piece together as much information as
possible from the other witnesses.
In other words, despite sitting 5 feet
away, Marla is still somewhat in a fog.
TWO - ME
It bothers me to admit I don't
remember every word that was said. I suppose my story
is at best 95% accurate.
For example, during
a phone conversation, one of Marla’s friends said she had
heard me say, “That’s it. We’re done here.”
When Marla asked
me about it, I was surprised. I had
completely forgotten
that part of the incident. Now it came back to me for the
first time since the confrontation.
Good. I had been bothered
because I felt like something was missing; now I knew what
it was.
I am going to
tell you something. Everything happened so fast that it was
easy for people to get confused… including me.
THREE - EYEWITNESS
Here is another
example of confusion.
LETTER ONE
From: Marla
Sent: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 03:47 PM
To:
Subject: Re: the Spotlight Incident
Hi again,
Not to belabor this issue,
but what exactly did you see?
{ } claims that Rick
yelled at his girlfriend.
I was sitting right there,
but didn't hear Rick yell at her.
All I saw was { } race
across the room and shove Rick hard and then the
fireworks started.
LETTER TWO
From:
Sent: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 9:36 PM
To: Marla
Subject: Re: the Spotlight Incident
Rick did not yell.
He did however turn off
the music because of her chanting for the wabble.
She then tried to
request it again and Rick told her that
she did not ask in the right way.
He did not raise his voice
but was firm with her.
Too much drama indeed.
|
When Marla showed
me Letter Two, I pointed out to Marla that even though this
person was an eyewitness to the event, I
raised an eyebrow on three small points.
First, I do not
recall the girlfriend asking a second time,
but I will take the word of the eyewitness on it.
Second, the eyewitness suggested I turned off
the music because of the girlfriend's insistence on having
the Wobble played.
Although I am sure it appeared that way,
I did not turn off the music
for that reason.
I turned the music off to get the
music to stop.
That Waltz song
was driving me crazy because it
increased my sense of disappointment. That’s why
I turned my back on the girlfriend in the
first place.
But
I can certainly see why that coincidental action was
misinterpreted by several people… including the
eyewitness.
Third, I doubt
seriously I told the girlfriend there is a right way and a
wrong way. I remembering saying
that phrase, but I am pretty sure I
said that to the boyfriend minutes later, not to the
girlfriend. I could be wrong, but I doubt it
because I don't recall engaging in any conversation
whatsoever with the girlfriend.
The reason I point out these
inconsistencies is that I have tried to
reconstruct the sequence of
events to the
best of my ability.
However,
short of seeing an actual videotape, I confess there is a
margin for error here.
It is possible that I have made a
mistake or two in my account of what happened.
That said, I doubt seriously I have
left out anything of importance. Gary has read my
story; Marla has read my story. They both corroborate
my account.
So now it is time for a summary.
In the battle of He Said, I Said, as
far as I am concerned, it all boils down to this:
-
The eyewitness reported that I never
yelled at the woman.
-
Marla reported that I never yelled at
the woman.
-
Gary reported that I never yelled at the
woman.
-
I have given my word that I never yelled
at the woman.
-
Given 4 witnesses speaking to the
contrary, I conclude that the boyfriend's claim that I yelled at the girlfriend
was erroneous. Nor
is there any evidence that I insulted the girlfriend.
-
It becomes increasingly obvious this
entire event was
based on a giant misunderstanding.
|
- If the
boyfriend had bothered to ask me for the song AS
HE WAS DIRECTED prior to my "Last Song" announcement, this
incident would never have even taken place.
- During the
confrontation, the
boyfriend claimed his girlfriend had asked ME for the song 15
minutes earlier. This is pure malarky.
I spoke to the girlfriend for the very first time just
moments before the confrontation. The boyfriend had his facts wrong
on this count as well.
-
In situations where there is room for
error, the prudent thing is to gather information before
striking. It really helps to
have your facts straight ahead of time.
The boyfriend exercised poor judgment
in pushing me without giving me a chance to explain. This
conflict should have been avoided.
-
This confrontation
was
not my fault.
|
 |
|
LACK OF RESPECT
I have not spoken with either the
girlfriend or boyfriend since the Showdown. No
surprise there. In the
absence of their input, I have done the best I can to
analyze their mind set based on the information at hand.
What bothers me the most in the
aftermath is the total lack of respect shown to me.
This attack was based on a series of
misunderstandings and weird timing.
Misunderstandings are
part of life. They are a major part of the human condition.
For that matter, some of Shakespeare's best plays are based on
misunderstandings.
I think it is an
odd but telling coincidence that the sticking point
in the Showdown revolved
around a song from Romeo and Juliet. Although most
of us think of the play as a sad love story, the cynics will
point out that six people had to die over a 3-day
relationship between a thirteen year old girl and a
seventeen year old boy due to a series of
misunderstandings. Interesting.
Let's hope no one has to die over the
Wobble. Had I realized we
had the makings of a Shakespearean Tragedy brewing here, I
would have surely handled things differently.
For example,
I definitely
regret not being able to explain to the woman why I had
decided to say ‘no’. And you know
what? Under normal circumstances, I would have explained
the problem. But in this case, I
got distracted.
The moment I said “No Wobble”, “A Time for
Us” began to play... Frustrated that I
had lost the one moment I had planned for
all night long, I got
distracted by the music.
I literally could not talk to her until I got rid of that
nagging song.
In the process, I forgot about giving the lady the
explanation she deserved.
This mistake created the
communication breakdown.
Once I finished turning off the song, I turned
back to her. But she was gone. That’s why she never got
the explanation she deserved.
This prevented me from
offering a simple compromise like dancing the Wobble
outside. In addition, her departure prevented me from
realizing
how upset she
was.
Obviously the woman felt offended.
Why else would her boyfriend attack me?
Clearly the man had no respect for me.
He was so convinced I was wrong that he never hesitated
before pushing me.
Here is what bothers me. I wonder why this man failed to take
into account that his girlfriend and I have been friends for
several years now. Didn't any sense of caution cross his
mind? Why on earth would I suddenly begin to insult
a woman I like and snub her after three years of friendship?
His belligerence was curiously out of
sync with the facts. Maybe she secretly dislikes me,
but if that's the case, I have never picked up on it.
She has always been gracious to me.
This woman and I have
enjoyed a cordial relationship for the past three years.
We first met on a
cruise trip in 2009. Marla and I spent an entire day
with her at the beach in Jamaica. I quickly realized
this lady is quite a character. Taking note of her fuzzy
drink holders, her fondness for pink, and her colorful
dialogue ("This ain't my first rodeo!"), I was definitely
taken with her.
We have been friends
ever since.
In the years following 2009, this same
lady has taken trips with us in 2010, 2011, and now 2012. Not
once has there been even the slightest issue between her and
me. Not one single cross word.
I happen to like
this lady a lot. I
have enjoyed her ingenuity ever since I met her. That is the complete truth. She is a
friendly, outgoing woman who has spunk,
drive, and oodles of talent.
Most of all,
I respect her
leadership ability. Not only do I like the way
she organizes events for her group,
I also admire how she goes out of her way to do nice things for her friends.
Over the years, I
have complimented her
on several occasions for her
thoughtful gestures.
She and I have shared several events at
the Chandelier Ballroom. She has been to my house
to watch cruise trip pictures. Marla and I were recently invited to a party at
her house. Her house contains some
of the most tasteful, exquisite decorations I have ever
seen... I was impressed and I told her so.
Interestingly, she
asked me to play the Wobble at last year’s “Welcome
Aboard Party”. At that time, I was happy to comply.
I will freely admit it bothers me to think someone in the
Wobble Group would conclude I wouldn't play their song out
of spite. That is ridiculous. I cannot think of
one single reason or incident that would support that
conclusion. The history is on my side.
Another reason I like this woman is
that she went to bat for the group with Carnival. Just
days before we left on our trip, she was on Facebook with a
Carnival executive trying to get permission for us to do our
Late Night dancing. Although on the surface she was no
more successful than Marla had been, I still gave her a lot
of credit for trying. And, who knows, maybe her
intervention had something to do with Carnival's eventual
"look the other way" trick.
As for the Fateful Showdown Saturday,
this lady and I shared two positive moments
earlier in the day.
At 6:15 pm, I spent an hour with my friends
up on the deck during our Sunset Farewell party. Harmony
prevailed throughout our group as the sun slowly set in the distance. During
this event, I took several photographs of the lady. Let
me add that she was smiling.
At 8:15 pm, two
hours later, this same lady dropped by my table during
dinner to sprinkle decorative confetti on the tablecloth. I
thought it was a nice gesture and thanked her.
This was a simple example of what I mean when I refer to her
"thoughtful gestures".
In other words, right up until very the
final seconds
of the trip, this lady and I got along just fine.
Why would I insult her!?!?!
I had absolutely no
reason to be mean to her. In fact, I was banking on
our rapport when I said "No Wobble". The only way I
could rescue my Waltz was to be brief.
I hoped that our friendship would give
me enough credit to allow me to be short with her.
Obviously my gamble backfired.
But I will say this in my defense - I
will swear on the Bible that I did not have a bit of anger
towards this woman during the Wobble incident. However
ambiguous my actions might seem, I was a victim of
circumstance. There was never any malice intended.
This might help all of you understand why
I was so taken aback when I was been accused of insulting
her. I hope she accepts my apology. In fact, I
still like her. This whole thing was a giant
misunderstanding.
The Right Way and the Wrong
Way
I remember
during the Showdown the
boyfriend
asked me what the right way would have been to handle this
matter.
Personally, I think the correct way to handle
things would have been to point out my
alleged mistake
first and give me
the chance to explain and apologize. I certainly would have
been happy to apologize. As I have
said repeatedly, I never meant any offense to her.
Even now, I am still not sure what
I did to upset her... or him.
I am disappointed in this man because
after
three years of good will,
I deserved the benefit the doubt that night.
Why didn't this man
ever stop to wonder why I would suddenly turn disrespectful
to his girlfriend?
Instead this guy could have
cared less. He didn't even bother to
ask. He just wanted to bust my
chops.
As far as I am concerned, whatever I
did to upset him, that surely didn’t give
the
boyfriend the right to shove me, insult me, curse me,
threaten to hurt me, and promise to destroy my wife’s
business.
That's the wrong way.
OKAY, SO I
AM NOT PERFECT
I would like to
address the comment where the boyfriend said he didn’t like me and
that many people don’t like me.
I am sure he is right. Based on the
negative attitude of certain people at the Westwind who
contradicted Gary Richardson over the Midnight question, there are
clearly people who don't like me.
I
also think I have
my fair share of friends.
That said, I have little doubt they wonder about me
sometimes.
For example, I am sure during the
Showdown, my friends saw a side to me they are not familiar
with. I was hardly in the mood to "turn the other cheek".
I am no choir boy. If someone pushes me, I push back.
Once I was mad at this man, I
definitely said some harsh things of my own.
But I don't apologize for my behavior. He had no
business embarrassing me in front
of my friends. Whatever I said, he deserved it.
The
Wobble incident aside, I
regret several mistakes
that
I made during the trip.
Perhaps it is these mistakes that contributed to the ill
will shown me on the final night.
I
would like to explain my side of
each incident. Perhaps people will cut me some slack.
I began the trip
under a great deal of stress. For
starters, thanks in large part to the Magic trip that split
October in half, enrollment in my dance classes was
sporadic. Then my 16 year old dog died just
days before the trip. I had to put her to sleep, one of the
most gruesome things any pet lover ever has to face. I was
so shaken over the loss that I completely
spaced out about
two important meetings.
I was so upset that I missed appointments two days in a row!
Now
I had to turn around and apologize profusely for standing
people up. Those mistakes only served to deepen my
depression.
Adding to my
stress was my concern for Marla. Marla was distraught over
her inability to convince Carnival to let us have our Late
Night Dancing. I hated that I was helpless to cheer her up
the entire week. And then came
the night where the dog
screamed in pain. After I put the suffering animal to
sleep, our mood grew
worse.
On Sunday
morning, we both headed for the Magic
Party Bus with a heavy sense of
dread. I
was very worried that Carnival would make things tough on our
group all week long.
Incident One
I was
definitely walking wounded that first
morning. Thanks
in large part to the pre-trip tension,
I lost my temper
immediately. At the parking lot for the Magic Bus, I
loudly slammed my trunk lid and one of my car doors.
So
what was this all about?
You may recall I
went through an ordeal on my Russia cruise not long ago.
Not only did I lose
my passport, Marla lost some of her luggage. There were
other mishaps as well. It was all due to being careless and
absent-minded.
Obviously the
scars are still with me. So for this trip
I had one major objective – be alert at all times when
dealing with luggage. I wanted to do a better job.
People question
why I bring so much luggage on these dance cruises. I do it
for a reason. For this trip, I brought two large amplifiers
plus a heavy tote bag full of my DJ computer, extension
cords, power outlets, dance wax, and other dance supplies.
I brought all this stuff as a way to ensure late night
dancing on this trip. In addition, I also brought a giant
jigsaw puzzle board so we could do jigsaw puzzles after
dance class. My point is I bring this extra stuff down for
the group, not for me.
Just as I began to unload everything, I realized I had not
counted how many separate items there were.
I had promised myself I would do that
because this extra luggage made it hard for me to
keep track of everything.
So the moment I
parked my car at the Magic Bus parking
lot, I began to unload
our
luggage on the curb. I placed every piece of
luggage in a specific place side by side so I could count it first.
My head was in trunk trying to extract a
heavy piece. Without my
knowing, several well-meaning men materialized to carry the
various pieces of luggage away.
I looked up from
my trunk and saw my luggage being carried
by three different men in three different
directions. I flipped out. The timing was unfortunate
because it hit a huge nerve – I had not even had the chance
to count how many pieces of luggage I had!
Suddenly 8 pieces of luggage were being
scattered who knows where. Or
was it 9? Or was it 10?
How was I supposed to keep
track? So I got mad at my own helplessness.
Was I mad at
someone in particular? Heck no. These guys were trying to
help! Did I yell at those men? Heck no. I was simply upset
because I had lost control of the one thing I had vowed to
do right on this trip.
But did these guys know that? Of
course not. I am sure when I slammed my door, they assumed I
was a jerk. Or perhaps someone
concluded I am an A...
Incident
Two
The next incident took place in the middle of
Marla’s dance class. I was on the
side taking pictures of the
dancers. A woman in our group
approached me. She was obviously
very upset.
She said her roommate was miserable because her father had
suddenly died back in Texas.
Did I know any way for this poor woman to
get off the ship?
I was immediately
concerned and anxious to help. However, the stress of the situation crept in.
Without realizing it, I raised my voice while explaining the
options to this woman. Marla had no idea what was going on,
but she couldn’t teach over my voice.
Marla politely asked me to
quiet down. I was instantly embarrassed by my loudness when
all I was trying to do was help this woman.
I snapped back to
Marla that I was distracted by this tragedy and to go back
to her class. That comment didn't
sit very well with people. I immediately
regretted what I said. I was wrong and I knew it.
So of course I
apologized to her in private. For the record, Marla didn’t give
my comment a second
thought. She knows I raise my voice when I get upset.
She
forgave me on the spot, especially once I explained to her
why I was so upset. Neither of us even remembered
the incident
until one of Marla’s friends reminded her of all the things
I had done wrong on the trip.
I must live under a microscope.
Apparently the Wobble incident magnified
every other mistake I made on this trip.
Oh gee, lucky
me.
Actually Marla and I got
along great the entire trip. Not one
single
balcony night for me (inside joke). This
"loudness mistake" was the only awkward
moment between us, but since it took place in public, I got a black
eye.
This incident in
Marla’s dance class is ironic because I ended up being upset
over the same thing the next day. On the last day of the trip I barked
at a group of six people who were talking at the edge at my
dance class. They were not involved
in the class itself, but rather there to wait for luggage
tickets. Their combined voices were so loud I could
not even hear myself think, much less speak to my dance
class. My class could not hear me over the noise.
So I
went over to them and said, “Hey guys, can you take it
outside?” They all left.
Did I raise my voice? Probably.
Could I have been
more polite? Absolutely. Did I regret being so abrupt?
Absolutely. These people had no way of knowing how loud
they were… just like I had no idea how loud I was in Marla’s
class. A couple of soft words would have worked just
as well and not bruised any feelings.
I should have
handled this situation much better. But you know what? I didn’t do that. I
apologize now to each of those individuals.
Obviously I raise
my voice when I am stressed out. When it happens, I am
usually not even aware of it. However, I got four
first-hand lessons on this trip. Just like my vow to do
better with the passports, now I am busy
trying to be more careful
about not raising my voice when I get
stressed.
To err is human.
I have my share of Achilles Heels just like the next guy.
But when I recognize my mistakes,
I try to apologize, and
I always vow to do better the next time a similar situation comes
along. I say life is for learning.
Please accept my apology for the
mistakes I made on this trip. I promise both to myself and to all of you
I will do better
next time.
CAN WE
LET THIS WOUND HEAL??
LETTER ONE
-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2012 10:05 AM
To: Marla
Subject: Extend Peace!
My opinion: here is an opportunity for
you to bridge the
gap!
I want the bad
feelings to end before it takes 7 years to
heal.
We
have had fights before
which divided the
Houston dance followers!
We
are
ordinary people who are
successful on our own areas who want to have
some fun before the bad years
when our health fails!
Marla, all the work you have done
with be affected.
No one will take SSQQ
away from me.
I had no life or love before I found
it!
Nip
this in the bud.
You have the power!
|
I completely agree. Marla's Travel
Group is pretty wonderful.
Two years ago, I
let my dance studio get away. It was the right thing
to do at the time, but that doesn't stop me from missing it.
Today I certainly don't intend to repeat the
same mistake with my wife's Travel Group.
Let me say again I
regret
my part in the Wobble drama that ended this
trip.
Although I do not feel like I caused the
Showdown per se, I understand that
I can be controversial at times.
Over the years, I have
become a lightning rod of sorts due to my outspoken ways. I can be aggressive and I
do make mistakes. However, I firmly believe that the
easiest way to become a failure is to never take a chance.
So yes, I do put myself out there and take the risk of being
misunderstood and criticized.
In the case of the people at Westwind who suggested I was bending the facts on
the Midnight deadline, that's a perfect example of being
misunderstood and criticized.
I didn't exactly have smooth sailing on
this trip. Every time I turned around, I felt
like the victim of some
especially deadly timing...
-
luggage
disappearing at the exact moment when I wasn’t looking.
-
unconsciously raising my voice when a distraught woman reported a death.
-
losing my Waltz at the worst possible moment.
When you add the
fact that I was on public display each time I made a
mistake, I guess you can see why I
am still shaking my head over this trip.
It
certainly felt like
there was Black Magic shadowing my every move.
As one person pointed out, it was
my own fault for calling the trip "The Black Magic Cruise".
They may actually have a point.
But then you already know how superstitious I
am.
I am humbled by the mistakes I made on
this trip. I knew from the start something was not
right with me. I had a foreboding that something was
going to go wrong right from the start. In a classic
case of self-fulfilling prophecies, I am sure my worries
contributed directly to my demise. I am sure when my
dark mood passes, I will be myself again. But in the
meantime, I am sorry for my missteps.
As for the man
who shoved me, I am ready to move on if
he is. Now that I have had the chance
to figure out where he was coming from, at least his actions
make a little sense. Now I am ready
to cut him some slack.
Yes, the man embarrassed me. However, he didn’t hurt me physically. As
for what he said, well, sticks and stones
can break my bones, but words will
never hurt me.
If I can ask
people to forgive
me for my mistakes, I can certainly forgive him for losing
his temper.
Yes, people make
mistakes, especially when they are tired.
That goes for me, that goes for him, and that goes for the other
people who made mistakes on this trip. For that matter,
I can respect any man who wishes to defend his woman’s
honor. Good for him for caring about his girlfriend. She’s
worth it.
I have told the
truth in this letter. That said, there will be people who
do not trust me or believe the things I say. If that’s the
case, so be it.
That said, there
is no reason for you to blame my wife. I ask you to try to
separate whatever your opinion is of me from Marla.
The only thing I
have
not forgiven
the boyfriend for is threatening my wife's business. He
has not apologized to Marla. Shame on him. He has no
idea how badly his words hurt her.
For someone who
goes so far out of his way to protect his own woman, I
wonder if it has crossed his mind that he attacked a
completely innocent woman with his remarks.
Marla does not
deserve to have 10 years of hard work
go down the drain over such a silly incident.
She played no part in this event; why take it out on her?
Our 2012 Bahamas
trip was incredibly successful on so many levels. It would
be a shame if people decided this strange misunderstanding was
important enough to justify leaving
Marla's travel group.
No matter what
you think of me, I would hope you would not punish Marla. Marla has worked far too hard to
see everything go up in smoke over an
incident that was out of her control.
Thank you for
hearing me out.
Rick Archer
rick@ssqq.com
