IF YOU HAVE COMPUTER SPELLCHECK, BETTER TURN IT OFF FOR A WHILE…
Contributed by first by Phyllis Porter (and a dozen more people after her!)

"Acocdrnig to an elgnsih unviesitry sutdy the oredr of letetrs in a wrod dosen't mttaer, the olny thnig thta's iopmrantt is that the frsit and lsat ltteer of eevry word is in the crorcet ptoision. The rset can be jmbueld and one is stlil able to raed the txet."

(Editor's Note: This one lit my computer screen up with a sea of squiggly red as the automatic computer spelling program recoiled in horror. We suppose this little article makes about as much sense as the rest of the Newsletter, yes?)

Return to Top
………………..

SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE - 
LINDA MALIN AND BILL HOLDEN ANNOUNCE THEIR ENGAGEMENT!

Linda Malin and Bill Holden recently signed up for the SSQQ Mardi Gras. Although I have few details, I believe Marla Gorzynski and Linda talked on the phone one day and Linda mentioned the engagement. That is the Sum Total of what I know so far!

Linda Malin and her friend Deborah Orf have been taking primarily Swing classes at SSQQ for several years. These two ladies were practically the first people to sign up for the 2002 Summer Rhapsody Cruise and roomed together. Linda saved me one day by loaning me her Swing CDS. My laptop computer was disabled by a Daiquiri that fell on it. There went the SSQQ music I had brought along for the trip!

Fortunately Linda had plenty of CDs that would work in my boombox, so we used her music for the Swing Rueda classes and the Swing Jams late at night. 

This past summer Linda and Bill went on the 2003 Jubilee Trip with us. You can see their picture at http://ssqq.com/information/jubileepics10.htm  #98. 

Bill will probably kill me for telling you to go see their picture because he isn't exactly smiling! Maybe he will forgive me if he knows it was the only picture I had of the two of them.

Thursday, September 24
Email Note from Linda Malin: 

Rick,
You are correct - Bill and I are engaged. 
I don't know if you were aware that we met at SSQQ and have been dating for a year. We have been engaged since mid-July, however we ordered my ring from Ireland and decided that we would not tell anyone until the ring arrived.

The ring is an "Irish Wedding Ring" and it came with a little write-up about the "Claddagh Ring"

The Claddagh Emblem is a unique and distinctive Irish love symbol.

Its origin dates back to 1690. The first Claddagh Emblem was used in a ring made by Thomas Meade. Richard Joyce, a well-known Galway goldsmith popularized the design through his manufacture of the Claddagh Ring in the early seventeen hundreds. The symbols of hearts, hands and crown signify in turn love, friendship and loyalty. They were kept as heirlooms which were passed on by the mother to the first married daughter on her wedding day.

We have not set a date but we are thinking the fall of 2004
Thanks again,
Linda

(Editor's Note: Best wishes to both and more details to follow! For those of you who are counting, this makes 3 weddings and 12 engagements so far this year for the SSQQ community. RA)

Return to Top
………………..

STORY SIX:
SSQQ'S KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR: MAC THE KNIFE TAKES ON THE LEGENDARY LONGHORN JACKASS!!

Stories of the Legendary Longhorn Jackass began to filter in on a regular basis back in 2000. Since then LJ sightings have become pretty frequent although I don't publish all the stories I hear about this guy. Even though the Longhorn closed last year, his legend continues. Apparently like the rest of the studio he moved over to Wild West as well. 

One woman managed to get a photo of the guy. First she asked her husband to go stand next to him. While she pretended to photograph her husband, she got a scary picture of LJ instead. 

And to read some of the stories about LL Cool J (Legendary Longhorn Cool Jackass), click here: http://ssqq.com/information/longhornjackass.htm

Email Sent to Rick Archer
Mon 09/08/2003 10:35 AM

"Hey Rick, just in case you're still interested in Longhorn Jackass stories:
I had an interesting verbal exchange with the Longhorn Jackass last Sunday at the Wild West on Richmond. By coincidence, I was momentarily within approximately 5 feet of Mr. LJ in the Men's room. Mac Riley, on his way out of the room at the time, said hello to Mr. LJ in a manner that I thought was rather friendly. I figured they must know each other. 
After Mac had walked away, the Jackass looked over to me and even though I have never met this gentleman before, he proceeded to explain to me what a bad person Mac was, using the most vulgar terminology possible. 
After listening to his rant, I asked him what Mac had done to him that was so bad, and Mr. LJ said that Mac always "dances with my dates." I found this interesting that Mr. LJ considers a woman who has agreed to a dance to be his "date." 
But more importantly, Mac has a habit of rescuing women from these "dates" they didn't know they had agreed to. I spoke with Mac later that evening and told him that he was a very good man to do what he does. I also noticed that Mr. LJ didn't seem to hang around very long in the presence of Mac Riley."

Rick Archer's reply:
"Is this the same Mac who amuses himself by taking ssqq Halloween pictures to Wild West and showing them to various people?
Are you saying that Mac goes out of his way to dance w/ Cool LJ's victims afterwards as perhaps a way to warn them to avoid LJ?? Is he basically rescuing these women or simply explaining what the score is to the victims afterwards?
I will reprint the story in the newsletter, but I need to understand just what Mac is up to. I also prefer to avoid using your name. Gotta protect my sources!!
The most important point is to warn all women about this predator. And it is interesting to receive such revealing news about a strange man as LJ. He is beginning to sound like a very disturbed man."


Mon 09/08/2003 10:35 AM
"Hi Rick,

Sorry about the delay in writing back, I've been out of town.

You are right that the Mac I'm referring to is the one that has been known to bring his own Halloween pictures to parties. 
He rescues women from the LJ by actually "cutting-in" on the dance floor. This practice is what seems to have gotten the LJ so upset. Mac also apparently warns women both before and after they have been groped by the LJ on the dance floor.
It is rather comical that while Mac sees himself as a White Knight rescuing the princess, the LJ sees Mac as a competing predator. There is no telling what the women think, but I'm sure it's got to be pretty amusing to anyone watching."

(Editor's Note: I have to hand it to Mac. He has a lot of guts to take on a potential wacko like LJ. Maybe this year Mac will come to the SSQQ Halloween Party dressed as a Knight in Shining Armor. Or I suppose he could just come dressed as himself. RA)
………………..

2002 DARWIN AWARDS
Contributed by Judy Walsh

It's that time again . . . . . They are finally out . You all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual honor given to the ones who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.

The nominees for this year are:

A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.

A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6'2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to a one end of a hollow wooden tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.

Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.

A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highway near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger and killing herself. As a commonplace road accident, this would not have qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the fact that the driver's attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which had started urgently beeping for food as she drove along. In an attempt to press the correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi's life, the woman lost her own.

A 22-year-old Reston, Virginia man was found dead after he tried to use some octopus rubber cord sets to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was "major trauma."

A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalized.

Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.

And the winner . .. .

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened. It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long and straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO! The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3 miles From the crash site. This was established by the prominent scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, and soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles 15-20 seconds) before the Driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tyres and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel. It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420 mph.

The latest nominee for this year's Darwin Award (awarded to people for incredible feats of stupidity) goes to.... (from the Orlando Sentinel) Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washed was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course.

(Editor's Note: You wanna know something? As amusing as these fairy tales are to read, I don't believe any of these events really happened. If any of you readers have a real job with unsupervised Internet access and want to waste an entire afternoon while getting paid for it, why not provide a legitimate public service and find out if any of these stories are on the level. Email your findings to Rick Archer at dance@ssqq.com

If you get fired, I promise to give you a free practice night next month for your trouble.)

Return to Top
……….

WHAT WOMEN WANT FROM MEN!
Written by Gail Arias

This is a survey taken from 500 women ages 25 through 45 years old, single and married. When a woman knows the pleasure of dancing in the arms of a man, it is next to impossible to settle for anything less, unless he has some incredibly exciting career in which they can experience unlimited financial freedom together or he is unbelievable in bed or both! Yes, it is true in the order of importance according to our survey. Dance, Financial Success then Sex. Of all the women surveyed not one said she did not enjoy dancing in the arms of a man. To top it off, if he knew how to dance really well then sex was the best she had ever experienced! All women agreed sex is best when both man and woman are in love! In fact 90% of the women said they could tell what kind of a lover a man would be by the way he danced with her and they could tell his level of sincerity towards her by observing the way he danced with other women. Either he is a player, shy, inhibited or uninhibited, aggressive or passive.

Women love a man who has a certain level of refinement. A man who is masculine but who also enjoys the arts as well. A man who is interested in becoming more than just his job. Seeking more out of life than just eat, sleep and work.

Music and dancing touches women in a very profound and unique way. It "Stirs the Soul" and can enable her to let the every day problems of life seem less significant and help unlock the playful and sensuous side of one's personality. What could be better than sharing that with a special man!

Women said that the old dinner and a movie routine for a date has become so boring. First of all standing in line on a Friday night with hundreds of strangers is not real fun after a long day at work or after driving the kids to and from school and soccer practice. Eating high calorie junk food and sitting for 1 1/2 hours in a dark theater without conversation is of course not helping the figure any and not what most women want to do on a date unless they are UNDER 20 years old and have nothing to talk about. Women do like to get dressed up and looking their best when out on a date. Women love to be complimented by their date and on their appearance. After all, there is always something nice a man can say that is complimentary about a woman at any age.

The ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE is dancing with a man and being romanced in a sincere way, getting to know that man on and off the dance floor and being courted where the sexual pressure is off! Eventually revealing deeper feelings for one another and it is MUTUAL and then becoming intimate! This is the ULTIMATE DANCE DREAM come true!

A smart man learns how to dance because he knows that is where all the women are, out dancing! A lucky man meets a fabulous woman while out dancing who loves him and admires him. A smart and lucky man recognizes a good woman when he finds her and continues to nourish the relationship with dance and romance!

TEN QUALITIES WOMEN LOOK FOR IN A MAN! (On and off the dance floor)

1. Good Leader on the dance floor who stays on the music. 
2. Neat, clean appearance and well groomed. 
3. Confident, self assured. Direct eye contact. 
4. Stable career, financial security. 
5. Sense of humor, quick witted, intelligent. 
6. Well mannered i.e.; opens the door, introduces you to his friends, good table manners etc.
7. Physically fit, keeping weight under control.
8. Interested in what you have to say, a good listener.
9. Good in bed.
10.Nice looking.

Of all the women surveyed, all enjoyed compliments on their appearance, dancing ability, intelligence and cooking abilities. Of course only if they do know how to cook. Women also said they knew if a man was giving insincere flattery, it is like a sixth sense women have. So men beware, only sincere flattery please!

TEN QUALITIES WOMEN DO NOT LIKE IN MEN:
1. Men who can't lead and blame it on the woman.
2. Bad breath or body odor.
3. Cheap cologne.
4. Cocky attitude, think they are "God's gift" to women.
5. Lewd conduct on and off the dance floor.
6. Men who wear clothing that went out of style 10-20 years ago.
7. Cheap toupees. Invest in an expensive one or just go au' natural.
8. Smokers and heavy drinkers.
9. Unemployed loser types. They can dance but don't have a job, house, or money.
10. Dumb Guys.

95% of the women said they would put up with all the negative qualities (with exception to numbers 2, 5, and 8) if the man was a very good dancer.

If men only knew what a powerful aphrodisiac dancing is for women, every man in the world would learn how. Up until now it has been the best kept secret on the dating scene. Try it and see for yourself.

(Editor's Note: This article was emailed to me a couple years ago. I saved it, but forgot who sent it. Recently I ran across it in my document file while looking for something else. I thought it was a very interesting article. However I cannot attest to the validity of the survey. Make up your own mind. )

Return to Top
………….


SSQQ COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH I - UNFAIR TO CHARGE $5 TO FORMER STUDENTS AT PRACTICE NIGHT

Prelude: 

Red Angeli to Rick Archer: "I'm not being "egged" by anything except the fact that you are charging everybody because of something that happened between you and one other person, period, case closed."

The following exchange of emails below deals with Rick Archer's decision back in April to charge outsiders $5 to come to SSQQ Practice Night while students currently taking classes only $3. 

Red was angry from the start back in April. He didn't like this move one bit and decided to say so. 

Unfortunately the man is terribly naοve. He overlooks the fact that history is filled with examples of why honest people have to suffer tremendous indignities due to the stupidity or evil of a few people. 

As an example, in today's airports people are constantly forced to submit to long lines, invasive questions, and embarrassing body searches. 

Why? 9-11. Now on a daily basis millions of people have their time and patience wasted because a few men were so evil the rest of us have to suffer. Need I say more? 

The problems at SSQQ are not remotely as serious as the threat of terrorism, but even in this microcosm of life, I can show how every policy at SSQQ was made because some fool did something so stupid and so unexpected that I was forced to make up a rule to deal with it. 

There was a time when we didn't have Hall Monitors. Then one day in 2000 we discovered that some students were taking free Salsa classes. We found out because they bragged about it to others who then turned around and told Judy Archer and I about it. The Hall Monitor system soon formed.

In 1999 we found out that the Houston Swing Dance Society was sending people to our classes and to Practice Night to collect email lists which were then used to solicit our students to take Swing classes elsewhere. We had to prohibit taking email addresses at the studio. 

Salsa Eddy used the same email trick this year. 

In 2001 a man named Dula practically screamed brutality when a Hall Monitor refused him admittance to the studio. He didn't have a class receipt and his name was not on a written roster, but he insisted he had paid. This incident was so distasteful that we decided to move to a computerized registration system for more accuracy in our record-keeping. That move cost us over $20,000. 

These are just the obvious examples. Now Red Angeli is mad at me for raising Practice Night prices $2 in reaction to the unscrupulous business practices of his amigo Salsa Ed. 

I think the guy is barking up the wrong tree. 

Go ahead, decide for yourself who's right and who's wrong. Here is the story:


COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH - NO FAIR CHARGING OUTSIDERS 2 EXTRA DOLLARS FOR PRACTICE NIGHT!

EMAIL ONE
From: Red Angeli 
Sent: Friday, August 01, 2003 2:52 PM 
To: dance@ssqq.com 
Subject: You still don't get it 

I know I should ignore this "PRACTICE PARTY PRICE HIKE FLAP, BAD SALSA EDDY DEYNES,PARANOID MONEY GRUBBING RICK ARCHER THING' but I am going to attempt to put this whole ludicrous episode into some kind of impossible perspective. If you cared enough to find out you would see that none of us cares about the $2.00 rate hike one way or the other but rather the way in which it was implemented. The passing out of business cards by a rival dance studio was an act most of us were unaware of, "us" being SSQQ alumni who have forked over more than marginal cash for your wonderful service. I was in Big Bend National Park during "The Incident." (600 miles away and I can assure you I have no discernable long range psychic powers). If as Eddy (ok so I'm on a first name basis with him, big deal!) said, he did not know about the business card debacle, he definitely should have known. But as to one of your supporters writing about Eddy as a selfish, arrogant person, I've not seen that part of the man. 

Why would he advertise yours and everybody else's dance events on his web site? The result could have been an increase in your business and a loss to his. Back to the practice rate hike: we are now going to Tropicana on Tuesday's. A six dollar cover gets you a free lesson, current salsa music(no Barry White or "Hot,Hot,Hot!), and an occupancy from 9:00 till 2:00.Now I'm not meaning to belittle the benefits of SSQQ on Tuesdays and Thursdays, particularly the smoke free environment and the complimentary refreshments. 

But to group those of us who frequented your establishment during the first two years of the 21st century with people who walk in off the street makes us wonder. I may be naive but I don't believe in "BAD SALSA EDDY" or "OGRE RICK ARCHER" nor would I nominate either one of you for canonization. Some- where in between you will find two real and decent people who could have made fortunes doing something else but love to dance and have brought many people into that joyous fold. As the late Bob Hope would have said: "Thanks for the memories!!!" Think maybe we can make some more?"


EMAIL TWO
-----Original Message----- 
From: Rick Archer [mailto:dance@ssqq.com] 
Sent: Friday, August 01, 2003 3:29 PM 
To: Red Angeli Subject: 
RE: You still don't get it 

"Red, I read every word you said and you are absolutely right, I don't get it. 

I had a guy with slimy business ethics muscling in on my operation. I took steps to defend my turf and you seem to have a problem with that.

What do you expect me to do with someone I don't trust, hug him? 

His actions are that of an enemy. He attacked me and I fought back. 

The email you refer to was legitimate. I didn't make up one word of it. 

I couldn't care less how much you like Salsa Eddy, take a look at his actions. They tell the real story of the man.

Why are you chewing me out?"


EMAIL THREE
-----Original Message-----
From: Red Angeli 
Sent: Friday, August 01, 2003 4:30 PM
To: Rick Archer
Subject: Re: You still don't get it

Well, your e-mail really is confusing. You didn't address anything I addressed but rather fabricated whole new avenues of miscommunication. I didn't chew you out; I even complimented you. I didn't say anything about how much I liked Salsa Eddy and do not even patronize his establishment as I once did yours. Believe me when I tell you that this confirms what I always believed from the getgo: You wanted to drive us all away and you've gotten your wish. You win and I won't try to mend fences again. You obviously see it as a weakness.


EMAIL FOUR
-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer [mailto:dance@ssqq.com]
Sent: Friday, August 01, 2003 6:22 PM
To: Red Angeli
Subject: RE: You still don't get it

"Believe me when I tell you that this confirms what I always believed from the getgo: You wanted to drive us all away and you've gotten your wish"

That is total nonsense, Red. Let's refresh your memory. 

In case you don't recall, here is a copy of my last words to you that I sent in an email to your friend Claire regarding the rise in practice night prices 5 MONTHS AGO: 

Fri 04/04/2003 12:31 PM

"Claire, 

I like Red and I enjoy his participation at the studio. The same goes for you.

SSQQ is currently 'at war' with another Salsa studio that has attacked us. They think unethical behavior such as coming to our studio and recruiting our students during practice night is acceptable. This has been going on for several months. We asked the owner of their studio not to do this, but after promising not to, his cronies have continued this behavior behind our backs. 

Are you aware that last Tuesday someone placed business cards for this studio on over 50 cars in our parking lot during practice night? I have all 50 in my possession if you don't believe me.

Are you aware that we have learned of two huge email lists that have been collected behind our backs (and against our rules)? I have one of them in my possession and evidence of the other in an email sent to me.

Are you aware a student has come forward to say he was personally approached on ssqq premises by someone who suggested he take salsa lessons elsewhere? 

When you realize we have uncovered all this evidence without even trying, you begin to wonder how much we missed as well. 

When we asked them politely to stop, they promised to do so, they continued anyway. Now we are forced to take tougher measures. Would you have acted any differently?

While our 'war' clearly does not even begin to amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world, in a larger sense, some of our former students such as Red must have gotten their feelings hurt by our defensive measures because they did not understand the reasons behind it.

Please explain the problem to Red. Print this email out and bring it with you - the next Practice Night for both of you will be free and I will give him a card which allows him to attend Practice Night for the same price as everyone else. 

As for 'free practice night for life', a noble sentiment, but I think $3 is a fair price. It costs real money to furnish the drinks, popcorn, run the air-conditioner, and clean the floors. I assure you our profit margin per person is about 25 cents. 

That said, I hope you will both reconsider."

Red, I still have no idea what is egging you today.


EMAIL FIVE
-----Original Message-----
From: Red Angeli 
Sent: Friday, August 01, 2003 6:51 PM
To: Rick Archer
Subject: Re: You still don't get it

For Claire and I, thanks, but I cannot ignore the rest of my friends, peers and contemporaries. Besides, I'm not looking for special treatment. I'm not "being egged" by anything except the fact that you are charging everybody because of something between you and one other person, period, case closed.


EMAIL SIX - FINAL EMAIL
-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer [mailto:dance@ssqq.com]
Sent: Saturday, August 02, 2003 5:58 PM
To: Red Angeli
Subject: RE: You still don't get it

"I'm not being egged by anything except the fact that you are charging everybody because of something between you and one other person, period, case closed."

That is exactly right, Red, I am charging outsiders more money to come and practice at the studio than my own customers due specifically to the slimy business tactics of your friend Eddie Deynes. 

Let us review the facts. I make absolutely no money off practice night at $3. I break even. 

Let's figure this out, Red. Electricity. Air-Conditioners. Air-Conditioning repair expenses. Floors. Floor Maintenance. Cleaning People. Rent for the building. Computers to play the music. Free wine. Free beer. Free sodas. Free popcorn. At three bucks, I break even. 

So you have a beef because current customers of SSQQ are given a discount to practice "At Cost" while I attempt to make a $2 profit off people who take lessons elsewhere and like to come over to the studio and hustle. Rarely did these people come to dance; the majority of Eddie's crowd came to exploit us in whatever way they could because it was cheap and easy to so. 

You accused me of wishing to drive away ex-students. Nothing is further from the truth. You are always welcome here. You are just angry with the 2 Bucks. So to spite us you pay $6 at the Tropicana and more for drinks and get a free dance lesson. You don't like it that you were punished when we were forced to take defensive measures to protect ourselves from people like your amigo Salsa Ed. 

Tough. 

You say I don't get it, well, guess what, I don't think you get it either. I run a dance studio, not a club. We sell Dance Lessons. 

What you don't understand is how long this has been in coming. Remembering the salsa heyday, we had people sneaking into our dance classes for free all over the place. This could be considered a form of shoplifting. As a result of this deceitful behavior, Hall monitors and checkpoints had to be put into place - at no small expense!! 

Then during Practice Night some of the salsa people would enter the studio after we stopped collecting money, dance a couple songs, check out the chicks, and take some beer from the cooler and leave. I don't care whether you believe me or not. It happened several times a night. 

So to fight this form of dishonesty, we now have our Staff watching the doors till closing. After we were forced to confront both Robert Primo and Eddy Deynes about recruiting students at practice night, we had to make further measures. As a result, we changed the cost of practice night for non-students, a move you have taken personally.

SSQQ is not in competition with the Tropicana or Wild West or anyone else. We make so little profit off Practice Night that if you want to go practice somewhere else, that is just fine with me. I am glad you are practicing!! Just don't cry to me that I am pushing you away because your position is ridiculous. 

We hold Practice Night for the simple reason that people have jobs and can't stay out late most night. It is more convenient for them to simply stay and practice at the studio, especially during the week. 

Considering the amount of trouble your buddy Ed and his cronies caused us, we got tired of the headaches. You are barking up the wrong tree, Red. The person you should point your finger at is Ed. Each time changes were made, they were in direct result of outside influences: someone taking advantage of SSQQ's open door policy. If anything, they should be ashamed of themselves for forcing us to take steps that were avoided for 25 years.

You are pointing your finger at the wrong person, Red.

Rick Archer


(Editor's Note: If you care to comment, send your response to Rick Archer to dance@ssqq.com . I promise to print all responses. Let me know if I need permission to use your name. I don't mind printing letters to the editor "anonymously". RA)
……………..


STORY EIGHT: A NEW SSQQ POLICY - SSQQ ALUMNI ARE NOW WELCOME TO ATTEND PRACTICE NIGHT FOR THE SAME PRICE AS EVERYONE ELSE WITH "CARD".

Effective Sunday, September 28, SSQQ Alumni will be able to attend any Practice Night for the same price as current students. 

For the sum of $1 to defray printing costs, anyone who has taken 12 or more SSQQ one-month classes at any time during SSQQ's tenure of business can apply for a card that will permit the discount. 

The simple way to get the card is to request it from Susan Schroeder during Registration hours (7 pm - 8 pm) or to ask Rick Archer or Judy Archer directly. 

Please note if you took your classes before September 2001, then we will be unable to look your history up on the computer. Nevertheless ask Rick Archer anyway. It would be very difficult to take 20 classes at this studio and not have him remember you. 

In case you gathered there might be a connection between Red Angeli's complaint and this new policy, you would be correct. Although I didn't appreciate much of his logic, I see his point that many former students feel "pushed away" and alienated from our premises. 

Hopefully the advent of the new "SSQQ Alumni Card" will help soothe some of the hurt feelings. 

Rick Archer
……………………..

CONSCIOUS BREATHING SEMINAR WITH FRIEDA FOX SEPTEMBER 27 AND NOVEMBER 8

Please join me (Frieda), and share with others - a great opportunity to relax, renew, refresh, re-energize and more!

Conscious Breathing Sat. 9/27 - Intro 1:30; Class 2-4 pm
(Also mark your calendar for the next scheduled session, Sat. 11/8, 1:30-4 pm.)

September session is $20 if you register in advance or $30 at the door. In November the cost goes to $25 in advance or $35 at the door, but if you pay by 9/30 for the 11/8 class, the price remains $20.

Conscious Breathing allows you to connect with your aliveness and the joy of your conscious experience of life, through the profound simplicity of your own breath awareness. Conscious Breathing is a relaxed, intuitive, connected breathing rhythm that enhances health, frees the breath, gently clears stress and trauma from the physical, emotional and energy body, and supports clarity and youthfulness. 

Frieda Hamilton Fox has been facilitating Conscious Breathing sessions and training practitioners for over 20 years.

Regular sessions of Conscious Breathing have cumulative positive value (new people welcome at any class). Join us Saturdays Sept 27 and/or Nov. 8, Intro 130-2 for those new or desiring to review intro to this gentle, relaxed, full easy breathing; Class 2-4 pm. Also consider individual sessions to explore and open your unique breathing rhythms and customize the benefits. Contact Frieda to schedule individual sessions or presentations / classes for groups.

Bring pillow and mat or blanket. If eating before attending, eat light to promote alertness during the session.

All events take place at NiaMovesHouston, 4040 Milam - please see map at www.niamoves.org because the street address is misleading. NiaMoves is actually located at the corner of Bute and Branard, 6 blocks east of Montrose, 2 blocks south of Alabama, on the third floor of the Fitness Exchange Bldg. Accessible from Hwy 59 (SW Fwy) - exit Richmond, Travis or Shepherd. EASY to find and ample free parking - call for specific directions if you like!

Flyers for both upcoming sessions are attached.

To register, please call Frieda at 713-649-3209 or reply to this email (dfox@texan.net ). Please make checks payable to NiaMoves.

Breathe easy - Frieda Fox

(Editor's Note: Frieda is the lovely wife of long-time SSQQ Tango and Whip Instructor Don Fox)
..................

TAXES
Contributed by Gary Richardson

Read all the way to the bottom
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
Capital Gains Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Court Fines (indirect taxes)
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense (tax on the money)
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Local Income Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Septic Permit Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Road Toll Booth Taxes
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Toll Bridge Taxes
Toll Tunnel Taxes
Traffic Fines (indirect taxation)
Trailer registration tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

COMMENT: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago. At that time our nation was the most prosperous in the world, had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What the hell happened?


Return to Top
…………………

AND THAT’S A WRAP FOR THIS ISSUE

As you can see, the SSQQ Newsletter is mostly written by people just like you who send stuff in. If you have any comments, suggestions, requests, complaints, jokes, pictures or poetry to share, please send it to me, Rick Archer, at ssqq@houston.rr.com

And thanks for reading all the way to the bottom! …. I might add I do have reason to believe some of you simply scroll to the bottom to look for any little surprises I hide down here. ;-)  

Anyhow, thanks to all for making it this far!

One more thing. In case you were wondering, this issue of the SSQQ Newsletter is equivalent in length to 25 pages.

Rick Archer SSQQ Dance Studio 
4803 Bissonnet 
Email: ssqq@houston.rr.com
Web: www.ssqq.com
Phone: 713-861-1906 

Return to Top

The End


THE STRANGE WONDROUS SOUND OF THE MONK

We're sorry. We can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk, are you!!

The SSQQ Newsletter started in January 2000 as a way to update our students on upcoming classes and parties.  Once it became obvious that most SSQQ students had email addresses, the idea was to replace written material and save on wasted paper. The idea quickly caught on in ways we didn't anticipate.

We soon discovered how easy it was to publish all sorts of information.  This allowed the SSQQ Newsletter to evolve into a "Do-It-Yourself" Newspaper. Members of the SSQQ Community began to contribute all sorts of articles, jokes, pictures, puzzles, vocabulary words,  and letters to the editor. 

As a result over half of each Newsletter is written by the readers themselves. Our readers are the reporters.  We just edit what you send us and give it back.