SUBCHAPTER 987 - SCORCHED EARTH

August 2001

The day had finally arrived for the long-awaited August cruise to begin.  My disappointment over Marla's Miami trip with Chris was no longer a sharp stabbing pain, but I was still in a really bad mood.  The Miami incident had ruined my attitude about this trip.  I was no longer excited.  In fact, I was more cynical than I had been all year.  I was in a scorched earth kind of mood.  Romance was for other people, not for me.  I had tried very hard to make two marriages work, but to no avail.  My lousy track record spoke volumes.  It did not require a woman's intuition to see there must be something wrong with me. 

With Marla out of the picture, I no longer cared whether I met someone or not.  With ten more women than men, some woman would probably take a chance on me if only for a few days.  However, in my current mood, I felt sorry for whoever took the bait.  Given my toxic reputation, she should do so at her own risk.  Beware my heart of darkness.

With a heavy heart, I boarded the Carnival Celebration a little before 5 pm.  On the one hand, I felt elation that I had been able to organize a group of 100 people. This event was a source of real satisfaction for me.  I had done this as a service to the studio and it had been fun.  I had talked a lot of people into going on this trip and written plenty of promotional stories in the SSQQ Newsletter.  Putting together this huge group was a definite accomplishment and I was pleased at how excited everyone was.  This was exactly how it used to be back in the Eighties when we went skiing or took a trip to the Bahamas.  I was proud to be Leader of the Pack once again.

However I was also pretty darn lonely.  Here we go with the seesaw again.  I am miserable and the studio is doing great.  Some day I would love to figure out how to be happy and successful at the same time.  I did not enjoy my life as the solitary man.  I would much prefer to share an experience like this trip with someone who enjoyed my company and could appreciate all the work I had done.  Unfortunately there was no one special.  Not even remotely.  Ever since Marla's Miami phone call, I had stopped hanging out with anyone from the group.  For five days I showed up at the last minute to teach my class, minded my own business, then went home the moment class ended.  I was lonely by choice.  I didn't blame anyone but myself for my loneliness. 

I wished I still had my fantasies about Marla to look forward to.  But I was sick of thinking about her.  I was in a very dark mood.  Perhaps I would hook up with some woman on the trip and have a good enough time, but I wasn't sure how I was ever going to get rid of this awful sadness that kept nagging at me.

SUBCHAPTER 988 - COCKTAIL PARTY

I did not get paid for promoting this trip.  However I was given three complimentary cabins plus a bottle of champagne.  I kept one room to myself and persuaded four men from the studio to come along for free to improve the boy-girl ratio.  Maybe I was being overly cynical.  I still had my eye on three women.  Kellie was the best dancer.  Becky was a serious beauty.  Priscilla was a woman I considered a warm friend.  Priscilla was not sexy like the other two, but I felt completely at ease with her.  Priscilla was by far the one I hoped for. 

There was a knock on my cabin door.  It was Connie, the woman who had given me a ride from Houston down to Galveston.  During the hour ride, Connie had made it clear she was available.  Just in case I had missed her clues, she underlined her pursuit with an invitation to join her at dinner.   I politely lied and promised I would look for her.  Actually that was not a complete lie.  I would definitely look where Connie was sitting.  Then I would go sit somewhere else.  Connie was way too aggressive for me.

Ten minutes later there was another knock.  I groaned.  Not Connie again.  But I answered anyway.  This time it was Kellie, the Best Dancer.  Kellie had always been skittish around me.  But today she seemed happy to see me, so I welcomed her in.  I was surprised when Kellie closed the door behind her.  Interesting gesture.  Had Kellie put her reservations aside?  We had never been alone before, so I wondered if Kellie was making a move.  Kellie found a chair and made herself comfortable.  Hmm.  Kellie looked like she wanted to stay awhile.  I sat on the bed and we chatted for a while about how well I had organized the trip and so on.  I appreciated the compliment. 

Then Kellie asked, "When does your 'Welcome Aboard' cocktail party start tonight?"

"At 7 pm.  We have a little over an hour before then.  Listen, I have a bottle of champagne.  Would you like to help me make a toast to the success of the trip?"  I rose and fetched the bottle for display.

Kellie was all smiles when she came in, but her warm smile suddenly turned to panic.  "Uh, no, listen, I have to get ready for the party.  I'll see you on the dance floor, right?"

I nodded.  Oh well.  Seeing Kellie sprint out the door, I scratched her off the list.  I guess my toxic reputation scared her off.  Smart girl.

An hour later, I arrived in the Lounge.  I had a 60 minute Welcome Aboard cocktail party to emcee.  It was so crowded in there, I think all 100 people were in attendance.  They wasted no time getting the dancing started.  Despite my personal woes, it was a source of deep satisfaction to see how much fun everyone was having.  I may have even smiled a couple times.   One of the things I noticed during the party was how perfectly the couples and the singles meshed together.  There was absolutely no suspicion or jealousy involved when a single woman danced with a married man and vice versa.  After twenty years of rotating dance partners in class, these people all knew each other so well they operated like a family.  Everyone looked out for everyone.  I was gratified at the community spirit. 

Another interesting observation was the number of couples here on the trip who had met at the dance studio.  Too bad I didn't have a crystal ball.  If so, I would have foreseen that a dozen people on this trip were fated to meet their wife or husband at the studio in the coming years.  As always, SSQQ was an amazing marriage factory.  Judging by the energy of tonight's cocktail party, this cruise trip would serve to enhance that reputation even further.  The birds and bees had come along for the ride.  

At the party Becky Beautiful was surrounded by countless men.  Before the trip, Becky had asked me out for lunch.  I had declined because she was coming on too strong.  I don't think Becky was used to being rebuffed because she barely gave me the time of day.  Not only that, when Becky sat down with one of her dance partners, I saw him put his hand on her bare thigh.  Since Becky didn't mind the intimate gesture, this guy obviously had a head start.  I suppose my chances with Becky were still a possibility.  However, considering the mood I was in, an uphill struggle did not interest me.  To heck with Becky.  Let someone else chase her.  And so they did.
 

Our Cocktail Dance party was followed by dinner.  As I took pictures, to my surprise, Marla gave me a warm smile.  Damn she looked good!  I knew Marla was a lost cause, but my heart went aflutter nonetheless.  You know, for a Russian girl, Marla sure was dark.  She might want to recheck her parentage.  Then I realized she had gotten this tan on her recent trip to Miami.  No wonder she was smiling!  At the thought of Marla and Chris together, I was nauseous with jealousy.  I swiftly walked away before my fury showed.   

At dinner, I made a point to sit across from Priscilla, the lady I considered my Good Friend.  Priscilla was the one I had pinned most of my hopes on.  There was a man named Harold sitting beside her.  I recognized Harold from the Cocktail Party, but had never met him before.  Midway through the meal Harold put his arm around Priscilla's shoulders.  When she snuggled closer, to my dismay I realized they were an item.  I later found out they had been dating prior to the trip.  Scratch another one off the list. 

Kellie.  Becky. Priscilla.  Marla.  All four doors had been closed to me.  Of course there was always Connie.  The thought made me want to vomit. 

SUBCHAPTER 989 - IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR

After dinner I returned to my cabin to sulk.  It was a little after 10:30.  I found a pamphlet on my bed and threw it on the floor.  As I lay there, I was beyond disgusted.  In the space of two hours, all four of my prospects were out of the running.  I wished I had never come on this stupid trip.  Filled with anger and self-pity, it took about half an hour to eventually calm down.  I was too upset to sleep, so I reached down on the floor and retrieved the pamphlet.  As I figured, it was a schedule of the evening's cruise activities.  Scanning the list, I noticed there was a Midnight Singles Dance up in the Disco. This dance was open to everyone on the ship, not just my group.  There might still be some ladies in the SSQQ group, but it made sense to also take my chances with the general population.  The advantage here was that these women would not know I had a scarlet 'D' tattooed on my forehead.  On the other hand, with my luck they would sense it soon enough and run screaming. 

I felt grim about attending this midnight event.  What an odd feeling!  I assumed I would find someone willing to dance with me,  but finding one I liked was a different story.  Considering my dark mood, I had little enthusiasm for the pursuit.  Looking at the clock, it said five minutes to midnight.  Okay, I told myself, let's get this over with. 

The Midnight Dance was well-attended.  I saw 100 people milling around.  As I scanned the room, I did a sudden double-take.   Of all things, there was Marla standing by herself on the other side of the room!  Did my eyes deceive me?

Good grief, what a strange coincidence.  This chance meeting felt like something out of Cinderella.   I could not believe this opportunity had materialized out of nowhere.  This was exactly what I had been hoping for.  Unfortunately, it looked like Marla was getting ready to leave.  She took one step outside the door, then hesitated. Swiftly crossing the room, my heart was racing. 

Starting with the lightning bolt back in November, I had been nursing a serious crush on this woman for ten months.  In all that time, I had gotten absolutely nowhere. Considering Marla barely knew I existed, I wondered why I was so hung up this woman.  I tried to remind myself not to get my hopes up.  Typically when a woman gives me the brush-off for six months, there is not much reason for optimism.  On the other hand, I didn't have anything to lose except a little more self-esteem.  

Ever since that Miami trip, I had given up all hope.  Well, guess what.  Seeing her standing there alone, I changed my mind.  As omens go, this was about as good as it gets.  I had no idea what stroke of Fate had placed Marla in this spot at this time, but this was the chance I had been waiting for.  I doubted seriously I could pry her away from the rugby player, but if I could talk to her, at the very least I wanted to clear up those mysteries about her relationship to Chris. 

Several things raced through my mind as I approached.  If Marla was in a six-year relationship, then why was she on this trip alone?  For that matter, I might even ask why she was here at a dance called the 'Midnight Singles Mixer'?  Is she looking or not?  Maybe Marla didn't even know herself.  Well, this is it.  I am going to get my answer tonight.  I may not get the answer I want and I may not get an answer I like, but I am going to do everything in my power to get an answer one way or another.  Staring blankly at the dance floor, Marla did not see me coming.  As I neared, I noticed her curve-hugging blue dress.  Be still my beating heart.

"Hi Marla, what are you doing here?"

Marla smiled.  She seemed relieved to see a familiar face.  "My roommate Sherry wanted to come to this dance.  She insisted I come along as her wingman."

"Ah, you are the dutiful roommate.  Where is Sherry now?"

Marla pointed to the dance floor.  After spotting Sherry on the floor, I turned back to Marla.  "Would you like to dance?"

Marla smiled and nodded yes.  "But first I have a favor to ask. Would you mind putting my room key in your pocket?  I don't have a pocket."

Taking another look, I could see this was the kind of dress that did not call for something practical like a pocket.  So I took her room key and put it my pocket.  It was a simple request, but I took it as a good sign.  At least she trusted me a little bit.  Even better, she had just relinquished her ability to leave quickly in case she didn't like the question I intended to ask before the night was through.

We danced freestyle.  Thank goodness I knew how to dance, the easiest way imaginable to approach a woman.  I was dying to put Marla in my arms as soon as possible, but the rap music playing wasn't conducive.  Freestyle was my only choice.  I was surprised to realize I felt self-conscious.  At one time, I had been an excellent freestyle dancer.  Tonight, however, the rap music didn't seem to mesh with my dance moves.  Unable to relate to rhythms I was unfamiliar with, I did not feel fluid at all.  Then it dawned on me there might be another reason.  Maybe it was my nerves.  I had never had any luck with this woman before.  I still couldn't figure out why Marla always seemed so pleasant to talk to, but so remote at the same time.  Would I have any better luck tonight getting past her mask?

After dancing for about fifteen minutes, I decided it was time to take a chance.  Taking a deep breath, I offered Marla a margarita.  To my relief, she accepted.  That was my third good sign - accepting a dance, giving me her key, accepting a drink.  Maybe there was hope.  After Marla and I sat down at the bar, I began to probe, although cautiously of course.  No point in scaring her off. 

Before speaking, I marveled yet again at her beauty.  I wondered for the millionth time what guy would ever let a woman who looked like Marla come on this trip by herself.  My heart was begging to ask, "Marla, what in the hell are you doing on this cruise without your boyfriend?"

However, I thought starting with the indirect approach might be more appropriate.  What would Cary Grant say?  Keep it simple, keep it light-hearted.  So I asked, "How did you get to the ship?  Did you drive down by yourself?"

"No, I dropped my car off at my boyfriend's house.  Chris lives nearby in League City and he drove me here.  My car is in his driveway."

I frowned.  Bad question and definitely NOT the answer I wanted to hear.  On the other hand, Chris was on shore and I was alone with his girlfriend.  I was here and he was there.  That would be my mantra for the night.  The ball was in my court.

"Once before you said you came on this trip to hang with your friends.  Are you glad you decided to come?"

Marla replied, "My friends kind of let me down.  Not one person from my class came along, so it turns out I don't know a soul aboard this ship.  During the week, I decided to blow this cruise off.  However, my daughter Marissa practically shoved me out the door.  'You should go, Mom.  You're bound to make other friends.'  Her guilt trip worked, so I changed my mind.  Besides, I love to travel.  This is my eighth cruise.  I thought it would be fun to get away for a while.  Plus the chance to dance for four days was a nice twist.  Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy the cocktail party earlier."

"Why not?"

"No one asked me to dance."

"That's a surprise.  I wonder why not.  Incidentally, I noticed you are a very good freestyle dancer."

"I love to dance.  Always have."

Hmm.  I liked that answer, so I made a mental note to ask her to dance again.  However, right now I needed to follow up on what she had just said about travel.  Still awaiting our margaritas, I asked about Marla's previous trips and her stated love of travel.

"Earlier in my career I worked as a buyer for a sporting goods company.  My job required me to take two long trips a year to Thailand, Taiwan, Philippines, South Korea, and Hong Kong to scout for the latest trends.  I did that for about ten years.  My job also took me to Germany and Switzerland.  In addition I have been to Hawaii, Costa Rica, and Alaska.  I have been very fortunate to see much of the world."

"What about Mexico?"

Marla laughed.  "Mexico doesn't count.  I grew up in Southern California, so Mexico is almost as familiar as my backyard.  I've been there at least a dozen times, maybe more.  One time Chris and I went camping down in Big Bend national park here in Texas.  The Rio Grande was so low we walked across the river and had a drink on the Mexican side.  I got a kick out that."

I frowned at the mention of Chris.  Besides that, I was envious of Marla's extensive travel experience.  Shoot, I hadn't been to any of those places. 

"You are quite the globetrotter.  I have never met anyone with so much travel experience before."

"Travel is my favorite hobby in the world.  I love seeing new places."

Just then the bartender arrived with our drinks.  I raised my glass and said, "May your heart be light and your purse be heavy."

Marla laughed.  "That's a new one.  Where did you hear that one?"

"It sounds like something the Irish would say, but I heard it in a mini-series about Catherine the Great, so maybe it's Russian.  You once told me you're Russian, so I wondered if you had heard it before."

"Don't be silly.  I'm not Russian, I'm a California girl.  My great-grandparents were Russian.  They were from Minsk.  But tell me about Catherine the Great.  I don't know much about her."

"Catherine was a German princess who was escorted to Russia as a potential bride for the heir to the throne.  Her bodyguard on the trip suggested some vodka might make the long night in a snowy cabin go a little better.  That is when he used that slogan."

"Did the bodyguard seduce her?"

"No, but he wanted to.  Fortunately he got his chance later in the movie."

"So what happened to Catherine when she got to Russia?"

"Catherine was quite a character.  Like Queen Elizabeth of England, people were always trying to murder her.  There was a serious attempt to poison her, but they guessed the problem just in time to save her.  Catherine ended up marrying the future Tsar, but she was about to be sent back to Germany because she couldn't produce an heir.  It wasn't her fault.  She had a husband who was a simpleton, so she persuaded that bodyguard to solve the problem.  Not only she produce an heir, the bodyguard became the love of her life.  At the end, the bodyguard murdered her husband so Catherine could become the Tsarina.  Catherine was such a good ruler, no one mourned the loss of the idiot husband."

"Interesting story.  I did not know that.  Do you like history?"

"I love history, especially Rome and Greece."

"Then you should travel there.  History comes alive when you travel."

"What have you learned on your travels?"

"I've learned that Asians are tough bargainers, that I love Asian food, Filipinos love to sing and Hong Kong is the most crowded place in the world.  I have learned that Asians are not as different as I thought.  They all want the same thing... peace, security, friendship, a chance to raise their children safely.  It's always the politicians that mess things up."

"Robin Williams definitely agrees with you.  One night on Johnny Carson, he said, "Politicians should wear sponsor jackets like NASCAR drivers so everyone knows who owns them."

"That's clever." 

"What's your favorite place to visit?"

"Costa Rica for sure.  Chris and I climbed a volcano.  What a view!"

I did my best not to let it show, but I winced every time Marla brought up Chris.  Good grief, was Chris going to be the answer to every question I asked?  I reminded myself to be patient.  The important thing was that Marla seemed to be warming up.  We were having a very animated conversation that was moving into areas Marla liked talking about.  I took that as my fourth good sign.  Considering I had never gotten anywhere in previous conversations, I was dealing with considerable anxiety.  I decided not to pinch myself in case this turned out to be a dream. 

At this point Marla's roommate Sherry came over to say hello.  Sherry had noticed me dancing with Marla earlier.  Now she wanted her turn.  This was an awkward moment for me.  I liked Sherry, but my night hung in the balance.  After all these months of misery, talking to Marla was the magic moment I had been waiting for.  I sure the heck did not want to blow my big chance on a duty dance.  I was terrified that dancing with Sherry would give Marla an opportunity to slip away and head back to her cabin.  Just then Martin, my SSQQ Salsa instructor, showed up out of nowhere to ask Marla to dance.  I was so happy to see Martin, I wanted to hug him.  Martin owed me... I had given him a free cruise to help balance out the boy-girl ratio.  Taking advantage, I interjected, "Hey, Martin, Marla and I are having a deep conversation.  Do me favor.  Will you ask Sherry to dance?"

The two of them looked at each other.  To my immense relief, Sherry smiled, so Martin stuck out his hand.  Martin had saved the day.  His sudden appearance was my fifth good sign of the night.  I could not bear to see Marla leave now.

Marla grinned at me.  "That was a good move."

"I dance all the time, Marla.  I would much rather talk to you."

"You surprise me.  I expected you would go dance.  You seem different here than at the studio."

"How is that?"

"When you talk to me at the studio, you are always looking around, always checking things out."

"I was not aware of that, but I am sure you are right.  There are many story lines that I follow at the studio, so I guess I have gotten in the habit of constantly keeping my eye out.  How am I different now?"

Marla laughed.  "You are paying better attention to me."

"Ouch!  I guess I deserve that.  I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression.  Actually I have wanted to talk to you for a long time."

"Oh really?  Why is that?"

Do I dare?  My heart pounded.  What should I do, Cary?  "No, Rick, not yet.  Just keep it going."

"You intrigue me, Marla.  I like the way you tease me in dance class.  You do a good job of putting me in my place and make people laugh.  They like it when we argue."

"Am I the only one who picks on you?"

"No, but you are the only one who is any good at it.  You make a good sparring partner."

Marla laughed again.  "I had three older brothers who liked to push me around.  I had to learn to fight back at an early age and keep them in their place.  I wasn't very big, so I developed a sharp tongue instead."

"You clearly learned your lesson well."

Marla smiled.  "Thank you for the compliment.  I am glad we are having this conversation.  I am seeing a side to you that I did not know existed.  At the studio, you come across as superficial, but not here.  Here you are warm and direct.  You also seem knowledgeable.  That is something that is important to me.  You are easy to talk to."

Marla was right.  This talk was no effort at all.  We were jumping from one topic to another like we had known each other all our lives.  This was the sixth good sign of the night.  Sensing a growing rapport, I said, "Let's join Martin and Sherry on the dance floor and show them we still love them."

Marla nodded, so off we went.  First she and I danced together.  When the next song started, I grabbed Sherry and Marla asked Martin to dance.  Teamwork.  After Sherry, I shifted back to Marla for a partner dance.  Then we went back to the bar to finish our first round of margaritas.  Our thirst from dancing made the drinks disappear quickly.  I smiled and asked if I could I get her a second round.  Marla returned the smile and said sure. 

Noting Marla had just signaled her willingness to continue the conversation, this was the seventh good sign of the night.  I was very encouraged. 

When our second round of margaritas arrived, Marla clinked glasses.  "I heard a rumor about you the other day."

"What was that?"

"Someone told me you see a lot of women."

"I am not dating anyone, Marla, if that's what you are getting at.  You might want to check your sources."

"If you say so.  I'm not one for gossip.  Usually I just come to class and take off when it's over.  But my roommate knows all the gossip, not just about you, but every guy on the trip.  She must keep a dossier.  When was your divorce final?"

"Three months ago.  May."

Marla nodded.  "Do you feel like telling me what happened?"

To my delight, Marla had begun to ask personal questions about myself.  This was new.  I could not remember when she had ever asked me a personal question.  Marla's questions were not invasive, but I recognized them as the female equivalent of 'The Interview'.  This was a very good sign, number eight by my count.  At long last Marla had decided to check me out.  I smiled to myself.  Carefully patting Marla's room key in my pocket like a lucky rabbit's foot, I believed I was finally getting somewhere.  

Best of all, Marla seemed relaxed.  No ominous fidgeting.  Marla seemed to enjoy the conversation as much as me.  I could tell she had settled in, that she wasn't in any hurry to leave.  Even better, her questions began to shift from name, rank, and serial number to things like how I was coping with my divorce, what had gone wrong, how was my daughter adjusting, and what my current relationship with my ex was like.  I was pleased.  These were the kind of questions a woman asks a man when she is interested.  I answered her questions as candidly as I could.  I had nothing to hide.  If it would keep the conversation going, she could ask any question she wanted.

Long ago and far away, I had read a story in the Courtesan.  It was this story that made me to decide to take dance lessons in the first place.  Christopher, the author, considered himself the world's leading authority on picking up women.  He explained that most men approached women in bars by offering them a drink.  Christopher disagreed.  His theory was to ask a woman to dance first.  He claimed that dancing was stronger than Love Potion #9.  If Christopher developed a rapport with the lady on the dance floor, then he would invite her to share a drink with him and take it from there.  Tonight's conversation with Marla was unfolding exactly like the book.  First the dance, then the offer to drink, now the get-to-know-you conversation.  Copasetic!

Thank you, Chris, for the useful advice.  In addition, thank you for reminding me this technique would only work if I remembered to take dance lessons first.  He recommended the man know what he was doing ahead of time.  Things had gone well, so maybe now would be the time to start the interrogation.  I asked Cary Grant what he thought. 

"Not yet, Rick, there is no reason to hurry.  You are here and he is there.   Marla is smiling at you like this because she likes you.  Let Senorita Margarita send the boyfriend to oblivion.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Be patient."

I listened carefully.  I was determined not to blow my big chance.  So I settled down and continued to let Marla guide the conversation.

I noticed Marla had not returned to the girlfriend issue.  Maybe it was her sales background, but she wasn't aggressive in her questioning.  However, out of the blue, Marla asked me who my roommate was on the trip.  I smiled.  Ah, the art of the innocent question.

"I don't have a roommate.  I didn't make a cent off this trip, but I did get a room to myself."

It may have been my imagination, but Marla's smile seemed to widen.  Marla was definitely in a good mood.  Just then Marla picked up her margarita and downed the rest in one gulp.  Putting the glass down, she stuck out her hand.  "Let's dance!"

And dance we did.  If Dancing was Love Potion #9, then Margaritaville was Love Potion #10.  The two Love Potions teamed up to keep us out on the floor for a long time.  As we danced, there was a peculiar look in her eye.  I wasn't about to ask, but something was going on in that mind of hers.  If forced to guess, Marla was seeing me in a new light.  The last thing I had said was that I had a room to myself.  It wasn't that she was interested in going back to the room with me, but rather that I was unattached.  That information seemed to cheer her up.

Where did a night like this come from?  I had gotten nowhere with this lady for ten long months, yet suddenly Marla was right here at my side, smiling and dancing, seemingly in no hurry to leave, no Midnight Pumpkin threats to worry about.  Cinderella had magically begun to show the interest I had long dreamed about.  We danced forever... freestyle, partner dancing, slow dance.  As long as Marla wanted to dance, I was game. 

Long ago and far away, I lost Katie, the girl I had wanted to marry, to a man who knew how to dance much better than I did.  That was then, this was now.  Tonight I was the best dancer on the floor.  It never hurts to let a lady see a man do something he does very well.

SUBCHAPTER 990 - IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

Finally we were tired.  It was 1:30 am.  We had spent an hour and a half in the Disco.  When we returned to our seats at the bar, I decided to try a risky move.  Without asking permission, I ordered a third round of margaritas.  This was a test.  Let's see how Marla reacts.  I took a deep breath and steeled myself for a word of dissent.  When I heard nothing, I smiled.  Marla clearly did not have her foot on the brake pedal.  This was a very good omen. 

After we received our drinks, it was time for another test.  This was the ultimate test.  I smiled and said, "Marla, I am really enjoying our conversation, but it is kind of loud in here.  Do you think we could go upstairs and find a place on deck where it is a little more quiet?"

I held my breath.  Asking a woman to leave the safety of the crowd to be alone with a man is an important step.  If she says yes, she likes the guy and trusts him.  A cruise ship is a safe place, but this was still a major step.  Was Marla willing to be alone with me? 

Marla did not hesitate.  She replied, "You're right, it is hard to talk in here."  Marla reached for the third Margarita, then gave me her free hand. 

I gulped.  As we climbed the stairs, I could barely contain my excitement.  I had been waiting for this moment for so long!  Now that I was finally alone with Marla, I was frightened at how powerful this evening had become.  However, this was exactly what I had asked for, so let's jump through that rabbit hole into Wonderland and see what comes next.

To our surprise, we were met by a stiff breeze outside.  Upon boarding the ship, we had been told that Hurricane Chantal was nearby in the Caribbean.  However, conditions in Galveston were so calm I had a hard time taking the announcement seriously.  Not any more.  There was quite a breeze.  Fortunately, it wasn't chilly.  This was after all the Gulf of Mexico. 

In fact, the temperature was very pleasant.  At the very back of the ship, we found two isolated lounge chairs where we could be alone.  We pulled them side by side to face the ocean.  We were in for a treat.  The full moon, the cloudy skies, and restless ocean created an incredible night.  The wind was very brisk, almost howling.  The waves were turbulent and made huge splashes as they crashed against the ship.  Now that our ship had entered the distant outskirts of the storm, we could feel a touch of the hurricane's immense power.

Overhead loomed huge, ominous rain clouds.  There was no rain where we were, but the moonlight was sufficient to reveal rain squalls off in the distance.  And, oh, that moon was such a tease!  The full moon played peek-a-boo all night long.  Shrouded in the wind-blown clouds, the moon appeared and disappeared like a sexy woman performing a fan dance.      

It was exciting to have a hurricane in the distance!  We had all the necessary elements in place for an enchanted evening.  Since it was 2 am, there was not a soul around.  Alone with the wind, waves, and the moon, the night was perfect for romance.  However, before I gave my heart away completely, I had to know where Marla stood with Chris.  Summoning every ounce of courage, the time had come to ask the Question. 

"So, Marla, I guess I'm a little curious how your Miami weekend turned out."

To my surprise, a flash of horror instantly crossed Marla's face.  She crossed her arms and frowned.  Unwittingly, I had chosen the perfect prompt.  There is a joke about margaritas.  "I am just one margarita away from telling you what I really think!"

I never quite knew what that joke meant until now.  All filters were gone!  Without a bit of hesitation, Marla launched into the most intense tirade I had ever heard.  Not only did Marla explode, the venom that spewed out of this woman was unbelievable. 

"You will not believe what Chris did!  Chris asked me to take a walk with him on the beach.  Next thing I knew, he headed directly to a topless section.  He spent the entire time roaming around with his tongue hanging out.  I have never been so angry in all my life!  I could not believe he would be so disrespectful of me!"

There was more, lots more.  Once the volcano erupted, Marla could not stop.  I could not believe how angry she was.

Listening to Marla vent, I recalled a scene from the movie Shampoo.  Warren Beatty played a hairdresser who is quite popular with women.  Someone asked Beatty his secret.  Why do women like him so much?

"I have one magic trick... I pay attention.  Christ, they're women, aren't they?  Come on, man, have you ever listened to women talk? Do you?  'Cause I listen till it's running out of my ears.  I mean, I'm on my feet all day long listening to women talk and they only talk about one thing.  They talk about how some guy f...ed 'em over. That is what is on their minds.  It's all I ever hear about."

That particular scene had made a very deep impression on me, so I followed Beatty's advice and listened to Marla.  Guess what?  It worked.  For the next two hours, Marla shared the sordid details of her relationship.  Two hours! 

Marla's problems started four years ago when Chris had gone to France with his rugby team.  Unbeknownst to Marla, Chris met a girl there and had an intense spring fling.  I nicknamed her 'Mai Tai'. 

That summer, Chris subsequently invited Mai Tai to come live with him here in Texas, hinting this could lead to something special.  So what about Marla?  Chris decided to deceive her.  The next time they met, Chris announced he needed to take a 'temporary' break from the relationship. 

Chris did not bother to explain to Marla what was going on, but he did ask for his house key back.  

"Chris has the most amazing way of lying about stuff.  Chris said he needed an extra key for the maid.  I suggested he go to the hardware store.  He countered, 'Why should I make an extra trip when you can simply hand me your key?'"

Over the summer, Marla had no idea of the unfolding drama.  She remained completely in the dark while Mai Tai lived with Chris for three months.  Oddly enough, one day Mai Tai and Marla accidentally spoke.  Marla had called Chris at his office and Mai Tai was filling in as a receptionist.  Marla had no idea who the woman was nor could she understand a word she said due to her heavy French accent.   

"It was a terrible time, Rick, I was lonely and confused the entire summer.  Chris and I had lunch a couple times, talked on the phone once or twice, but that was the extent of it.  Chris insisted it was not a breakup and that I should not take this brief time-out personally.  He said his business was taking up all his time and promised he would back just as soon as he got control of things.  I had no idea the depth of his deception.  I knew something was odd, but did not know what to think.  So I started dating.  What else was I supposed to do?  A time-out goes both ways.  I wasn't going to sit around waiting for the jerk.

There was no one in particular for three months.  Then one night my girlfriend wanted to go dancing, so we went to Chayn's.  A man named Patrick asked me to dance and we hit it off.  Patrick was very handsome and quite interesting.  Plus he was an attorney with a home in the upscale Woodlands.  That got my attention.  Patrick asked for my number, then called the following night.  I liked our conversation, so I agreed to go to his house for dinner.  When I saw his home, I was stunned.  His house was so beautiful!  Even better, he liked me.  We kissed on his couch later on, but I have a rule.  I told him things were moving too fast and he respected my wishes.  He acted like a gentleman, something I appreciated.  As I left, Patrick said he would call.

I spent the next day think about Patrick.  He had real potential, more than anyone I had met in a long time.  Just as I was thinking of Patrick, the phone rang.  Thinking it was Patrick from last night, I rushed to the phone.  It wasn't Patrick, it was Chris.  I was very surprised.  What does he want?  I had not heard from Chris in over a month, so he was in the ancient history file.  However, to be polite, I stayed on the phone.

'Hey, Marla, I was looking at your picture on my desk.  I miss you!  Let's meet at Star Pizza tonight.' 

I said what the heck, why not.  So we met that night and had a nice talk.  Chris was very apologetic.  When he suggested we begin dating again, I said I would give him another chance, but I was still pretty mad.  When Patrick called the next week, to this day I still don't know why I turned him down.  What in the world came over me?  Patrick was better looking, had a better job, had more money, had a better house.  Plus Patrick had a clean slate, something Chris could not claim." 

I raised an eyebrow.  In fact, I had just gone on 'Supernatural Alert'.  This was a strange story indeed.  "I have a question.  I find it curious that Patrick and Chris were linked so closely together.  Do you believe that sometimes a coincidence is more than a coincidence?" 

"Now that you mention it, yes, I did think it was an odd coincidence to hear from Chris.  The timing was very odd.  First I go out with Patrick, now Chris calls the next day.  I have often wondered about that.  If Chris had not called when he did, my life would have likely gone in a different direction.  Over the past four years, I still ask myself why I chose Chris over Patrick.  Or why I did not date both men till I was sure which one I preferred."

"Are you a 'one man at a time' kind of girl?"

"Until I decide on one man, I keep an open mind.  There have been several times in my life when I have dated more than one man at once.  If ever there was a situation that called for me to date two men at once, this was it.  For crying out loud, Chris had just ruined my entire summer.  So I was certainly within my rights to see both men.  Let Chris have a taste of his own medicine.  But I didn't do that and I will never know what came over me."

"Maybe deep down you loved Chris."

"Absolutely not.  I may loved him back in the beginning, but his one-sided Time-out did not sit well with me at all.  I don't like being told it's off till he says it's back on again.  What does he think I am, a yo-yo?  I was mad at him for keeping me in suspense for the past three months.  Nevertheless during our talk at Star Pizza, I had said I would give him another chance, so I chose Chris over Patrick.  I guess if I had known I would be stuck in a horrible relationship for the next four years, I would have taken the other path.  As it stood, the way Chris treated me over the summer should have been warning enough.  I must have been out of my mind.  Where did my better judgment go?"

"I agree.  Why would you return to a man who cheated on you?"

"That is a tough question.  I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I have suffered a lot of pain thanks to men who cheat.  However, Chris caught a break on that account.  I did not know for sure he had cheated on me at the time.  I asked him about it, but he swore otherwise.  Chris stuck to his story about being swamped at work and left it at that."

"When did you finally find out?"

"It took two years.  Things had never been right once we began seeing each other again.  The worse things got, the more I asked myself what had really happened that summer.  One day an opportunity presented itself and I got sneaky.  There was a swimming pool party at the house of Monty, his best friend from the rugby team.  People were drinking, people were having fun.  By chance someone's wife came over and sat down next to me.  We were alone and we were chatting, so I had an idea.

I asked, "Lillian, do you remember that girl Chris was seeing a couple summers ago?  Was that girl Hispanic?" 

Without a second thought Lillian replied, "I only met only met her once, but I am pretty sure that girl was from France."

That was just what I thought.  Lillian had just confirmed my suspicion.  I recalled how that woman I had spoken to at Chris' office had a French accent.  Knowing that Chris had taken his time-out one short month after returning from his rugby trip to France, I put two and two together.  Now I was angry."

"What happened then?"

"I told Chris to take me home and I confronted him.  That is when I learned Mai Tai's real name and how it happened.  Chris told me he realized it had been a terrible mistake to engage in this affair in the first place.  He told me he was an idiot.  He said he was foolish to bring her over, she was looking to get married, to become an American, she was looking for a meal ticket.  He asked to leave and immediately got in touch with me."

"And you believed his story?"

"What do you mean?"

"Marla, I don't know how else to put this, but you've been brainwashed by this guy.  He told you something you wanted to hear and you swallowed it hook, line, and sinker.  Why has it never occurred to you that all you heard was his version?  The Chris you have described to me is a manipulative liar.  I would bet money that Mai Tai realized Chris was using her and that this man would never marry her.  She had the sense to quit wasting time on him and left.  As for you, I cannot believe you stayed with him after that.  Why?"

"Oh, Rick, I know it does not make a bit of sense.  For one thing, the Mai Tai incident was two years in the past.  Two years is a long time, so I tried to pretend it was water under the bridge.  Chris said he was sorry, he said he had been faithful ever since we reunited and promised it would never happen again.  I was skeptical, but decided to give him yet another chance.  In hindsight, I was foolish to return to Chris.  I must have been nuts to stick around after that nightmare summer.  In fact, just a few months after this talk, something else happened."

"Oh no, now what?"

"Do you remember the Millennium, how important it was, how it was such a big deal?"

"Of course.  People were worried airplanes would fall out of the sky due to the Y2K Bug.  What about it?"

"That sonofabitch had the nerve to call me up that day and complain he had the flu and a splitting headache.  I offered to come over and stay with him, but Chris replied that was a bad idea.  He told me he did not want me to get sick with Market around the corner."

"What is Market?  Why was that so important?"

"I go to Dallas in January for two weeks of conferences related to my job as a sales representative.  It is an ordeal.  Chris was right in a way.  If I got sick ahead of that, I would be in a bad way.  Leave it to Chris to think of the only thing that would allay my suspicions."

"I'm sorry I interrupted.  Please continue."

"Chris told me not to come near him, so I spent the night at home.  At 11 pm Chris called to wish me a happy new year.  I was very hurt.  Why not call me at midnight?  More likely he was at some party with Monty's rugby friends and had stepped out to make the call.  Here the whole world was celebrating the end of a thousand year era and I was home alone at this momentous event.  Not only did I feel abandoned, I was positive the man had lied to me again the same way he once lied to me about his French girlfriend.  I wondered if he was there with another woman."

"Did you ever confront Chris with your suspicions?  Surely you wanted to know the truth."

"Of course I wanted to know the truth, but I was so hurt I never said a word.  I don't know why, but I was just as mad at myself as I was at Chris.  Two years earlier I was presented with the chance to break from Chris, but I didn't pull the plug when I should have and to this day I don't why.  After all, I had put up with one suspicious incident after another for two long years.  I had so much pent-up anger that I was scared of losing control if I spoke to him.  So I let him get away it.  Just add it to the list."

"Did you ever find out the truth?"

"Not really.  However, I think I know what was going on.  This past summer in a very roundabout way, I heard a rumor Chris might have another woman in his life who is similar to me.  I have not been able to confirm this rumor.  To do so would tip Chris off.  But I have a sneaking suspicion Chris has been leading a double life for some time now.  If he could do it once with the French girl, what's stopping him trying it again?"

"Why worry about tipping him off?  The best way to confirm a rumor is to ask Chris."

"Of course you're right, but why bother?  At this point, I just didn't care anymore.  Besides, this cruise was just around the corner, so I figured I would keep the peace for the time being and use this cruise to decide what I wanted to do."

Now that was an interesting statement.  In a way, this cruise was just as important to Marla as it was to me.  If ever there was a woman looking to jump ship, it was Marla.  Hopefully she would let me be the one to catch her.  With a smile, I crossed my fingers.

"The Millennium incident was nearly two years ago.  You seem much stronger now."

"Let me tell you, it has been a long climb.  Back at the start of 2000, I was so devastated that I went into a tailspin.  My self-esteem was so low, I turned into a human doormat and never fought back.  I constantly worried that Chris was fooling around, but it was impossible to catch him.  For one thing, Chris lived over an hour away.  For another thing, I couldn't leave my daughter alone at night to conduct surveillance.  Plus Chris was able to hide everything by using his rugby friend Monty for alibis.  There were other problems.  Chris had a fondness for men's clubs.  God only knows where that led.  He also had a bad habit of letting me pay for our expensive trips and not repaying.  Sick of the uncertainty, I got depressed and gained weight.  During my weight gain, Chris began to insult my appearance on a regular basis.  Finally I couldn't take it any more.  I had to do something, so I went to see a therapist in April 2000.  That stopped the bleeding.  One month later I began my diet.  I was determined to regain my figure and my sanity."

"The fastest way to regain your sanity would have been to leave Chris."

"I know that, but I was a wreck.  I was such a basket case that Chuck, my therapist, told me I should stick it out with Chris a little longer, that I was too vulnerable to be making major changes right now."

"Chuck?  I know a therapist named Chuck.  What is his last name?"

"Have you ever heard of the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus?"

"Of course.  I've never read it, but I agree with the premise.  What about it?"

"The man who wrote that book is John Gray.  Chuck is his brother."

Marla's mention of Chuck Gray shocked me.  This was a major coincidence.  As they say, small world.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, that is the man I am thinking of.  I know Chuck very well.  Back in the Eighties, he was a dance student who became a personal friend of mine.  He used to come to my apartment to play chess.  We played volleyball together on weekends and he came to many of my dance parties.  Given what you have told me about Chris, I cannot believe Chuck told you to hang on to that relationship.  That's sort of like a doctor telling you to keep swallowing the poison until you feel better."

Marla gave a bitter laugh.  "That's an odd way to put it, but I kind of agree with you.  I wanted to leave Chris in the worst way, but we weren't seeing much of each other at the moment, so I figured I could tough it out a bit longer.  "

What was Chuck thinking?  This was some highly questionable advice.  By persuading Marla to remain in her toxic relationship, he had just doomed her to sixteen more months of misery.  I also found it very strange to discover someone I knew so well had played such an important role in Marla's life.  This was a dramatic coincidence, enough to make me sit back and wonder.  Including the Chris/Patrick story, this was the second coincidence during our conversation that struck me as a potential Fated event. 

"For the record, I totally disagree with Chuck's advice, but it is what it is.  So what happened once you decided to stick with Chris?"

"During the summer of 2000 I continued my relationship, I continued to see Chuck and I continued to persevere with my diet.  Lot of good it did me.  The thinner I got, the more Chris insulted me.  I was starting to look a lot better, so one day one of Chris' rugby buddies saw me and whistled.  'Hey, Marla, you've lost so much weight I didn't recognize you.  You look great!' 

Chris replied, 'Yeah, Marla used to have two butts, but now she only has one.'"

"I cannot believe he said that.  You must have been miserable.  Now that you were thin again, why didn't you leave him?"

"I was miserable, but I was also healing.  I didn't see Chris very often, so maybe Chuck was right telling me not to make any serious moves just yet.  It was probably better to remain in what amounted to a long distance relationship than risk potential trouble until I was ready.  So I began my rebellion period instead."

I smiled.  "Well, it's about time!  How did you rebel?"

"I was really lonely, so I got involved in online dating.  I carried on email correspondence with a number of men."

"Did you go out with any of them?"

"No, but I wanted to."

"What stopped you?"

"You don't know me that well, but I am a very loyal person.  I don't cheat.  That is who I am.  I was in a committed relationship with Chris and I did not intend to violate my promise behind his back.  Two wrongs don't make a right.  However, I rebelled in a different way by deciding to take dance lessons in November.  I wanted to learn to dance and I wanted to get out of the house and be around people."

"I remember that.  That is when I first developed my crush on you.  You looked really good, so obviously that diet worked wonders.  What did Chuck say about your dance class?"

"You won't believe this, but we got into a discussion.  Chuck thought the dance lessons were a bad idea and I didn't agree with him."

"You're kidding!  A debate over dance lessons?  I find that hard to believe.  What was Chuck's objection this time?"

"Chuck did not like me going to SSQQ.  He said there are a lot of predatory men at the studio and my judgment was too impaired to take risks.  He said I would meet the wrong guy.  He was afraid our work to rebuild my confidence would be ruined."

My jaw dropped open.  "What a crazy thing to say!  I cannot believe Chuck would talk so negatively about my studio.  Good grief, Chuck once spent two years of his life there.  If the studio was so awful, why did he hang around for so long?  In fact, now that I think of it, Chuck met his wife Lori at my studio.  It really upsets me that he would bad-mouth the studio."

"He claimed there were a bunch of smooth-talking guys."

"I beg to differ.  I mean, sure, with so many people, there were bound to be a few predatory men.  However, in my opinion, the studio is a lot safer place than a bar.  Many therapists tell me they love the dance studio.  They say it is the perfect place to send people with broken hearts while they are getting their confidence back. That's basically what you were doing.  I'm sorry, but I don't agree with Chuck's advice.  On the other hand, they threw me out of graduate school while Chuck and his brother became famous, so what do I know?"

"You were thrown out of graduate school?  What for?"

"Like Chuck, I wanted to be a therapist, but one professor took a strong dislike to me.  He said I was too aggressive to be a therapist plus I didn't have a clue how to listen to people."

"You listen to me just fine."

"Yeah, but that's because I didn't learn my lesson till a year later when I saw a movie called Shampoo."

"What are you are talking about?"

Feeling a tinge of bitterness, I replied, "Don't mind me, I'm being sarcastic, which is another reason I got thrown out of graduate school.  Oddly enough, I actually did learn some useful lessons while I was there, so hopefully I am a better person for the experience.  As for Chuck's advice, you strike me as strong enough to know who to trust and who not to trust."

"I agree.  I did not like what Chuck said because it contradicted my own sense of the studio.  The men at SSQQ have always treated me with respect.  And they are not nearly as aggressive as Chuck made them out to be.  Not one time this past year has a man from the studio asked me out."

I did a double-take at that comment.  "That surprises me a lot.  Why not?"

"Maybe once they knew I had a long-time boyfriend, they didn't see the point."

I rolled my eyes.  "Gee, that sounds familiar.  So what did you tell Chuck?"

"I stopped seeing Chuck and I kept going to my dance class."

"Finally a good choice.  But then you disappeared at the end of November."

"That had nothing to do with the studio.  I left because I got very busy at work with Market.  However there was an ugly incident this past February.  Chris and I were down at Greyhound Park, you know, dog racing.  In a really snotty, smug way, Chris announced he was going on a trip to Ireland with his buddy Monty.  The tone of his voice irritated me and I lost my temper big-time when he mentioned Monty.  Monty was a huge problem.  Every time Chris did something to upset me, Chris invariably claimed it was Monty's fault, Monty was the reason he did it.  Chris would use Monty as his reason to cancel our date at the last minute.  Or Chris would use Monty as his alibi to explain where he had been.  Just hearing Monty's name infuriated me.  The last time Monty suggested Chris go overseas had led to Mai Tai, so I figured this Ireland trip was more of the same.  In my mind, Monty was synonymous with Chris fooling around.  On the spot I blew up.  This was the last straw.  First I decided to return to the dance studio in March, then I finally accepted a date with one of my on-line buddies."

"How did that work out?"

"The date went okay.  He was kind enough to say he liked me, but we didn't have enough in common to take this further.  He was a singer with a gypsy lifestyle, I was a stay at home mom with a demanding job.  After getting brave enough to finally defy Chris, I felt a bit deflated, but I got over it.  The important thing is that I was finally stepping out to my own tune.  This date was the first time I had ever openly done something behind Chris' back.  My feelings for Chris were barely alive."

"Did you date anyone else?"

"No."

"I don't get it.  So you got shot down, big deal.  If you could do it once, you could do it again.  That was February.  This is August.  If your feelings were barely alive, how do you explain sticking with Chris these past six months?"

"Laziness, inertia, habit.  The way I felt, at this point it was sort of like what difference did it make.  Sad to say, but after six years, Chris fits my life very well.  We see each other so seldom that I have time to devote to my work and my daughter.  In other words, Chris puts very few demands on me.  Besides that, when I am not furious at him, he's a good travel buddy.  But you're right, I really need to give this whole situation some serious thought." 

I felt threatened by her statement, so I raised an eyebrow.  "What do you mean by that, Marla?"

"To be honest, this relationship has been on life support for some time now.  Maybe when I know you better, I will tell you a weird story that will help what I am about to say make more sense.  Basically, ever since April I've been waiting for this cruise trip to take place.  The moment Chris said he was headed to Ireland without asking me first, I was so angry that I signed up for your cruise as my next act of defiance.  If Chris wanted to go his way, then I'll go my way.  Ever since then, this trip has held some sort of weird symbolism in my mind.  I came to see this trip as a potential fork in the road, a chance to get on with my new life.  But before making the big decision, I wanted to see how I felt being away from Chris.  I hate to put it this way, but I had invested six years into this guy.  If we could straighten a few things out, I could see my feelings possibly returning." 

"I am sorry to hear about your problems, Marla, but the question I have to ask is why do you put up with it?  Why wait for August?  You should have been out the door a long time ago.  You're an attractive woman.  I don't imagine you would have much trouble replacing a guy like Chris.  Who can put up with that kind of behavior for six years?  I mean, seriously, Marla, six years?  That's an eternity!  What on earth would make you think a man as set in his ways would reform?"

Marla frowned.  "The first two years weren't so bad, but the last four have been hell.  You have no idea how many times I have asked myself the same question.  I don't love him, that's for sure.  I guess it's all just wishful thinking."

I took a deep breath.  The time had come to ask the question I had been wanting to ask all night long. 

"So that brings up a sensitive question, one I probably have no business asking.  Here is what I don't get.  You went to Miami with Chris last weekend.  He took you Salsa dancing at a Latin nightclub just as he promised.  You spent last night with Chris at his house.  Chris drove you to the pier at 5 pm this past afternoon, so this indicates you spent the whole day with him.  That does not paint the picture of a guy you are considering breaking up with.

You claim you have one foot out the door, but your actions speak otherwise.  Based on what you say, Chris is firmly in the picture.  Here is my point.  Most women would have left a man like this long ago without any regret whatsoever.  Why would you remain with a man who treats you like that?  Chris will never change.  He will lie to you again.  How can you stay with a man who has betrayed you?"

SUBCHAPTER 991 - THE RETURN OF COSMIC STUPIDITY

I took a deep breath.  "Good grief, Marla, I had a huge crush on you from the moment I met you, but all you ever did was talk about that damn boyfriend.  Why didn't you encourage me a little?"

"Rick, you were my dance teacher and my mind stopped there.  I agree you were diligent in sitting down and talking to me on many occasions, but you never made an impression on me.  So what stopped you from asking me out?  That's how most guys do it."

I frowned.  "I didn't ask you out because I prefer to ask a woman who smiles back at me first."

Marla grinned.  "It is weird that I never noticed you.  I must have had blinders on.  Seriously, I am seeing you for the first time tonight.  Look at me, I am smiling now.  Isn't late better than never?"

I gave her a rueful roll of the eyes.  "I suppose so.  Hey, I have an idea.  Let's make up for lost time.  Will you come over here and join me?"

Marla smiled and switched chairs.  After sharing our first kiss, we spent the rest of the night in each other's arms.  As I watched the moon play hide and seek in the dark skies above, I was falling in love.  I was stunned at this turn of events.  This was exactly what I had wished for.  But it was too soon!  I had just gotten divorced and I was scared out of my wits, especially since Marla might just turn around and choose Chris over me.  For the past months I had told myself I never wanted to risk getting hurt again.  But Marla was too special.  I would never forgive myself if I did not take a chance, so I would have to face these dark fears that were troubling me.  But not tonight.  I wanted to cherish this moment forever.  We remained on the lounge chair till the sun came up. 

At daybreak, it was time to return to Reality. 

"Listen, Marla, I never want this to end, but I have a dance class to teach at 10 am.  We probably should get some sleep."

Marla walked with me to my cabin.  When I stopped to open my door, Marla said, "Rick, there is something I need from you."

"What is that?"

"Can I have my key back?"

 "You don't want to sleep in my room?  I won't bother you.  I will sleep on the couch if you want."

"I have had a wonderful time with you, but right now my need for sleep is more important.  I would rather go to my own room.  Besides, I have some serious thinking to do today and I want to be alone for that." 

I nodded and reluctantly pulled out her key.  As I handed it to Marla, I saw a serious look cross her face.  When I saw that look, a terrible premonition hit hard.  Marla gave me one last kiss, then walked to her room a few doors down the hall.  So close and yet so far. 

As I entered my own room, Marla's final words haunted me.  "I need to decide whether to stay or go."  Good grief, how was it possible that Chris had a chance?  This had been the most powerful encounter of my life and probably hers as well.  Marla had shared many painful memories.  For her to do that meant she trusted me a lot.  In addition, she had spent the past hour in my arms.  Now, however, Marla's decision to head to her cabin suggested her mind was not made up.  Despite this amazing night, she was not ready to throw away a six year relationship without careful consideration.  After all, she barely knew me.  Why risk taking the unknown over the known?

After a night like tonight, I should have been confident.  Not so.  I was filled with dread.  By my reckoning, Marla should have given Chris the heave-ho after the 1997 Time-out, after discovering the truth about Mai Tai in 1999, after the Millennium abandonment, after Chris began to insult her over the weight gain, and after the Greyhound Park incident.  But the most troubling thought of all was Marla's story about Patrick, the attorney with the beautiful home in the Woodlands. 

Four years ago, Chris had put Marla on hold to pursue his French mistress.  Marla had no idea what was going on, but she was hurt at being cast aside and no doubt suspicious as well.  The affair lasted three months until Mai Tai returned to France.  Chris immediately got on the phone and contacted his old flame.  Marla saw Patrick one night, Chris the next.  This coincidence had all the earmarks of Fate.  Marla had been given a clear choice between Patrick, a man with great promise, and Chris, a man with an entire summer full of sketchy stories.  As far as I was concerned, against long odds, Marla had picked the wrong man. 

The way I saw it, if Marla could ditch someone like Patrick, then she could dump me too.  That is what I was afraid of.  Based on the nature of Cosmic Stupidity, a person's actions did not have to make sense.  If Fate decreed Marla should stay with Chris, there was not a thing I could do to talk sense into Marla's clouded mind.