Here are the Chapters in this month's Newsletter:

THE SEPTEMBER CARIBBEAN DANCE CRUISE ABOARD THE CARNIVAL CONQUEST (reprint from Feb)

THE 2006 NEW ENGLAND CRUISE WRITEUP IS COMPLETE  (reprint from Feb)
THE 2006 RHAPSODY CRUISE WRITEUP IS COMPLETE: A SHOCKING NEW DEVELOPMENT!
MAY CLASS HIGHLIGHTS
MAY DANCE PARTIES
MARTIAN WHIP
THE STORY BEHIND THE MISSING APRIL 2007 NEWSLETTER
SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE - new stories!
STORY IN THE NEWS: Woman dropped on head alleges 'negligent dancing'
BALLROOM DANCING ON THURSDAYS.  THE CHANDELIER BALLROOM - next visit June 2
PARKING PROBLEMS ON FIRST STREET  (reprint from February)
STORY IN THE NEWS: CRUISE HAPPENINGS IN THE NEWS
story in the news: Ten of the best April Fool's Day hoaxes ever (Chris Holmes)
THE SSQQ ARCHIVES:  THE FOUR MOST DANGEROUS ROADS IN THE WORLD!
HAPPY LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
DIANE MURRELL WRITES A BOOK
COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH - nothing in May
COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH TWO: nothing in May
JOKE OF THE MONTH: hopefully this feature will be back next month

FAVORITE STORIES FROM PREVIOUS ISSUES

01. ANNOUNCING THE 2007 SEPTEMBER SSQQ DANCE CRUISE    CONQUEST 2007
Sunday, September 23rd thru Sunday, Sept 30th

100 People going as of April 26.

Well, everybody, get ready.  The Sea You in September Dance Party is on.

The Alpha Hussy is back, the Center of Attention is ready to cause more trouble, Mr. Handsome is back, and of course the Jammer - Gary Richardson - is back to take more incriminating pictures plus spin the DJ music. 

Something incredible happened on Monday, April 24 - Everybody decided to sign up at once!  Marla signed up 33 people in the space of four days.  

So how did the flood of registrations begin?

Sunday night at the studio, six people handed Marla their cruise registrations in person:  Phyllis Porter (Center of Attention),  Judy Walsh, Viola Hernandez, Ken Robeson, Vicky Jimenez, and Meg Hada.  Marla was impressed.  Six in one day!  Not bad.   Two other people - Lin Mills and Rick Elizondo - came up to Marla and verbally committed as well.  

After the big rush on Sunday evening, Monday morning things were pretty quiet.  Marla was sort of disappointed because she thought the previous night was the start of something big.  Nope.  Not one new registration the entire morning or afternoon.

On Monday night at the studio, Doug Ferris and Vivian Gustafson both handed Marla their registrations.  That made 10 new registrations in two days.  

On Tuesday morning, the dam broke.  As Marla walked in her office at 10 am, there was some sort of groaning and moaning coming from the fax machine.  Marla went over to take a look.  Holy Cow!   The poor machine was jammed with paper.  As Marla untangled the mess, she realized there were seven cruise registrations.   Julie Johnson, Marian Patterson, Charlie Denton, Joan Recht, Sandy Upchurch, Sandra Palmer, and Karen Wisniewski had all sent in registrations. 

Marla was sitting at her desk trying to process their reservations, her phone rang.  Joe Lachner called to say he and Patty Harrison were back for the third year in a row.  Now we were up to 19 registrations in three days.

On Wednesday, the registrations came in fast and furious.   Some came by email, some came by fax, some came by phone, but every minute Marla turned around it was someone else.  Mickie Benoit, John Safos, Nancy Neuhaus, Terri Beeler, Jeff Margolis,  Conor O'Muirgheasa, Cristina Lozano, Gary and Betty Richardson, Marlanea Taylor plus Alpha Hussy Leslie Goldsmith.  Plus three more people handed in their registrations at the studio in the evening (but as I write, they aren't confirmed).  Assuming the Mysterious Three go, that's fourteen registrations in one day.  Or 33 people in four days.  Amazing.

There was one downside to the flurry of registrations - Marla sold out of her original allotment of inexpensive cabins.  Carnival originally gave Marla 50 cabins.  Now that we reached 101 passengers, all 50 cabins were all gone. 

The good news was that there was still plenty of space on the ship, but the bad news was it would have to be purchased at the prevailing rate.  The first victim of the shortage was none other than the Alpha Hussy herself.

Marla Archer wrote:

Hi Leslie,  I wish I could say Welcome Aboard, but I have a problem. It appears that this cruise has gone WILD over the past 48 hours!

We are currently SOLD OUT of all inside and oceanview cabins at the original group rate. I have only one balcony cabin remaining at $762 PP.

Today's prevailing rate is as follows:  inside -- $614 PP, oceanview -- $664 PP

Marlanea called me earlier today and is in the same situation. situation.  Maybe the two of you could room together?


From: LeslieG
Date: 04/26/2007 8:06:44 AM
To: Marla Archer
Subject: Re: SSQQ Western Caribbean Cruise

MUST be on that ship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Sign me up at best deal available.....

Marla Archer wrote:

Welcome Aboard Ladies, You are confirmed in an inside cabin at the rate of $614 PP.  We are almost at 100 passengers!!!!


From: LeslieG
Date: 04/26/2007 12:06:46 PM
To: Marla Archer
Subject: Re: SSQQ Western Caribbean Cruise

YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for all your work!!!!  
 

Marlanea Taylor wrote:
Can you believe they are going to let the two of us be in the same room??!!


From: LeslieG
Date: 04/26/2007 12:19:32 PM
To: Marlanea Taylor
Cc:
Subject: Re: Cruise

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!

One room, TWO Hussies........ They're just ASKING for trouble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

If you aren't afraid of the Hussy Cabin and want to join us, Marla says there is plenty of room.   Register today and join all the fun!
Please complete the Registration Form. You may email, fax or bring it to the studio and we will get you onboard.

Contact Marla Archer at 713 862-4428 or e-mail marla@ssqq.com with any further questions.

CONQUEST 2007

READ THE STORY OF THE 2006 CARIBBEAN TRIP

CHAPTERS

02.

CHAPTERS

03. THE STORY OF THE 2006  NEW ENGLAND CRUISE

The SSQQ New England was both amazing and frustrating at the same time. 

On the positive side, we had our chance to see the changing leaves in the fall and some of the most beautiful scenery in the entire country.  Visits to Martha's Vineyard, Acadia National Park, and New Hampshire's White Mountains revealed breath-taking vistas. New England is truly a gorgeous place to live.

We also got a chance to see history come alive with trips to Salem Village, New Brunswick, and of course by roaming around Boston.

However some of our excitement was tempered by the inexplicable rudeness and inefficiency of a cruise staff rumored to be the worst in the Royal Caribbean fleet.  You will simply have to read the story to understand the level of the incompetence we ran into. CURSE OF THE JEWEL

Plus we had a couple who crashed our group even though we warned them not to.  That was a weird event.

According to one person who commented to me, this was the most interesting cruise story yet.  The pictures alone are worth taking a look at and the story is equally good.   NEW ENGLAND CRUISE

CHAPTERS

04. THE PICTURES & STORY OF THE 2006 RHAPSODY CRUISE

The 2006 Rhapsody Reloaded Cruise last August was an incredible trip.  It was without a doubt the most successful cruise trip we have ever taken, but it took me several months to actually write the story. 

So what took me so long to put the story together?  I attribute my writer's block to 3 reasons.

First, my friend Gary Richardson put together an overwhelming CD collection of pictures.  Although I am grateful for all his hard work and the pictures were great, I felt kind of overwhelmed.  Gary's CD had over 1,300 pictures of 136 different people!  If you believe every picture is worth a thousand words, imagine how I didn't even know where to begin.

My second problem is going to sound silly, but it took me so long to format and post 650 pictures, I was so tired I didn't have much wind left.  Furthermore, since this was our fourth trip on the Rhapsody, it was difficult for me to find new things to say about the ship, the ports, the dancing, and the hot tub nonsense.  Maybe it is time to switch ships after all.

But the third reason is the real reason - I didn't have anything to talk about!  I have to tell you something - people have learned to keep their mouths shut around me.  I got the feeling all sorts of interesting things were happening all around me, but no one would talk.  I was unable to penetrate this conspiracy of silence.

It was a wonderful trip, but next time I am going to hire me an informant.  Then you will get a great trip writeup.  2006 RHAPSODY CRUISE

SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT:   In February, I inadvertently ruled that the new HOT TUB record of 24 was invalid.

That is when Jan Milz stepped up to report that her husband had made an incredible sacrifice to guarantee the record would be set!  I reviewed the facts and declared the record of 24 VALID thanks to the heroic efforts of Bob Milz.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS STORY!!!!!!      CLICK HERE  

CHAPTERS

05. THE May CLASS HIGHLIGHTS – CLASSES BEGIN April 29.

Remember – if you miss the first week of class, you can always start in the second week. The Second Week Review will catch you up.  SSQQ SCHEDULE

For even more detail on many of the classes listed below, please visit  EXTRA

Special classes for May include:
 

SUNDAY AT 4:30: INTERMEDIATE HUSTLE  - Scott 
Hustle is the famous Disco Dance from the 70s. It is also a cult favorite here at SSQQ.

Hustle is best used to Disco music and soft R&B hits. This flashy partner dance is a clever combination of Swing footwork and Latin hip motion. Taught on Sundays at 4:30, this dance was first known as the "Latin Hustle" when it was the major partner dance back in the Saturday Night Fever Disco era.

Scott Ladell has worked magic with his Hustle class in past years. In 2006, his class was so popular that it went for five months. That was pretty impressive. You will be pleased to note that this accomplishment was no accident. Scott is one of the best Hustle teachers in the city and deserves the loyal following he has developed.

His class in April has 50 people in it.
 

SUNDAY AT 7: Dakota Wilhelm's ACCELERATED BALLROOM FOXTROT II.  One of the most popular classes at SSQQ is Dakota's upper-level Ballroom course.  For people who are already Advanced Ballroom dancers, Dakota aims to challenge his class with the toughest patterns in a different dance every two months.  Currently he is working on Foxtrot. 
 

Quick reminder that we will no longer be teaching SLOW DANCE as a regular four-week group class.  That said, there are special occasions like the First Dance at a wedding, a fancy New Years Eve party, a romantic standard at the Captain's Reception on a cruise, or a sultry torch song at a nightclub where the ability to Slow Dance would sure come in handy.  If you are getting married or would simply like to learn to Slow Dance, Marla Archer can teach you SLOW DANCE, WALTZ, or FOXTROT in a private lesson.  Contact her at marla@ssqq.com   

Marla teaches an average of 5 private lessons a week to couples who need to learn how to Slow Dance, Foxtrot, or Waltz at their Wedding Reception. If you know someone who needs to prepare for this important moment, read Marla’s story about her Wedding Dance experiences, please visit:  WEDDING LESSONS 

MONDAY AT 7: Bryan and Lisa’s MARTIAN WHIP on Mondays is an elite class for people who wish to become either top-flight social dancers or competition West Coast Swing dancers. If you are an advanced Whip and West Coast Swing dancer, this is the place to be on Mondays!   In addition to this challenging class, Monday Night Whip Practice became a serious rocking event.   

Bryan Spivey and Lisa became Texas State Whip Champions in 2004.  They were Regional Champions in 2005.  Then in 2006, Bryan finished in the Top 12 of the National West Coast Swing Championships.  In other words, Bryan is currently one of the top 12 male dancers in the country.  Quite an accomplishment!

Click here for information on the NEW MARTIAN TECHNIQUE CLASS
 

Tuesday AT 7: SAlsa is phenomenal.  Each Tuesday, there is a Beginning, Intermediate, and Advanced Salsa class that average 80 to 100 people in each class.  In particular, Steve & Danielle conduct their elite Advanced Salsa class each Tuesday.  The Tuesday Salsa Practice Night hosted by Linda Cook is smokin’. 


WEDNESDAY AT 7: SHARON SHAW'S INTERMEDIATE WESTERN WALTZ WEDNESDAYS IN MAY
Sharon (Crawford) Shaw's legendary Western Waltz program begins anew in April 2007 with a Beginning Western Waltz class, the first step in a five month cycle. Yes, we know that Sharon announced her retirement a year ago, but she had second thoughts after so many people asked her to reconsider.

Sharon taught her first extended Western Waltz class back in April of 2000. In that year, Sharon had over 70 people sign up for Beginning Western Waltz in April. Due to the high energy of the class, naturally we scheduled a follow-up Intermediate class in May. However there was no drop-off! Not only did the same 70 people stick around, the class grew a little bit as experienced Waltz dancers joined in progress to share the fun. Soon the students started begging for more levels. Sharon and her friend John Jones added an Advanced level in June. Then came Super-Advanced in July.

In 2000, Sharon and John stopped at four levels, but when the same thing happened the following year, they found a way to add a fifth month of Western Waltz in 2001.

What makes the class exceptionally fun is that many of the dancers stay after class to practice. Before you know, all that practice pays off - the entire room is wall to wall with beautiful Waltz couples swirling and twirling across the floor! As a result, many of the finest Waltz dancers in Houston claim they owe their skill to Sharon and John's class!

Sharon's Five Month Western Waltz cycle in 2007 marks her eighth year of teaching the best Western Waltz in the entire city. You do not want to miss it.
 

THURSDAY AT 7: BALLROOM DANCING HAS BEEN ADDED TO THURSDAYS IN ADDITION TO SUNDAY.
 

FRIDAY AT 7:  Rick and Cher will teach BEGINNING WESTERN CHA CHA on Friday. Western Cha Cha is the traditional Cha Cha used to slow, graceful Polka-speed music. Many of the songs Western Cha Cha works best to can be described as romantic or sultry, often with a Latin beat in the background.

The most famous Western Cha Cha is "Neon Moon" by Brooks and Dunn. "Shagging" by Alabama and "Tequila Sunrise" by the Eagles are two more examples. The Western Cha Cha is a clever dance that works well as an alternative dance to the Polka.

Quite popular in Western clubs in other parts of the country, Western Cha Cha is also a fixture at Western Dance Competitions. The patterns vary from the simple to the complex and use double turns when the mood strikes. Best of all, the Cha Cha has an attractive hip motion that makes Wrangler Jeans do for Western dancing whatever it is that Gap Khakis do for Swing dancing.

Cha Cha is flirtatious, sexy, easy to learn, and lots of fun!
 

SATURDAY AT 4:30: Bjorn and Rebeca Bangstein have moved their Saturday Salsa Explosion on Saturdays to 4:30 pm.  This Super-Advanced Salsa class gives us four different levels of Salsa classes on Saturday afternoons.
 

SATURDAY AT 4:30: ZYDECO  Willie Bushnell has Zydeco starting on Saturday at 430.  Zydeco dance music originated in the state of Louisiana. Similar to Cajun music, Zydeco is more heavily influenced by blues and music from the West Indies. Zydeco is fun, sexy, and pretty easy to learn! This is a great Saturday class that will have you laughing all night long!
………………………

06. ONE DANCE PARTY IN APRIL AND TWO DANCE PARTIES IN MAY

MUY CALIENTE SALSA PARTY
Saturday, April 28
9:15 pm - 11:30 pm
Cover charge $7

BEG SALSA!! - Alex
BACHATA - Linda
MERENGUE - Luis
LATIN CHA CHA - Jill
INTERMEDIATE SALSA - Martin
SALSA DIPS & LUNGES I Steve/Daniele (cpl)

DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT
Saturday, May 12
9:15 pm - 11:30 pm
Cover charge $7

CRASH COURSES 7-9 pm

ZYDECO - Ronnie
RUMBA - Rick
SWING CHARLESTON - Maureen
SLOW DANCING (Cpls only) - Marla
SINATRA BOXFOX - Jack
DAKOTA’S FAV ADV TANGO PTNS - Dakota

 

HONKY-TONK BLUES WESTERN AND WHIP PARTY
Saturday, May 19
9:15 pm - 11:30 pm
Cover charge $7

CRASH COURSES 7-9 pm

BEG C&W : TEXAS TWOSTEP - Jack
INT TWOSTEP: CIRCLE TURNS - Rick/Linda
DIRTY DANCING (Cpls Only) - Ben
BEG WESTERN CHA CHA - Jill
BEG WESTERN WALTZ - Marla
TRIPLE TWO - Scott
 

07. MARTIAN WHIP AND MARTIAN WHIP TECHNIQUE

As this Newsletter goes out, SSQQ Martian Whip instructors Bryan Spivey and Lisa Palmer will be getting married on Saturday, April 28.  Bryan and Lisa met here at SSQQ 5 years ago.  They began dating in 2004.  In 2005 they became engaged.  

By coincidence, in May 2007, Bryan and Lisa's wedding will coincide with a major restructuring of the SSQQ Whip/West Coast Swing program. 

As always, we will offer Beginning and Intermediate Whip/WCS two times a week.  However our Thursday class will move to Sunday afternoons at 4:30 pm to create an opening for a second Ballroom night. 

The major change will be the implementation of a six-month pre-Martian Whip program known as Martian Technique.  Previously this class has been offered only one night a week, but starting in May we will offer it on two nights a week: Monday and Thursday.  When we finish implementing our complete Ballroom program on Thursday, the second Martian Technique class will move to Fridays in July.

The purpose of Martian Technique is to offer six solid months of different material to prepare our students for Martian Whip.  The first hour of each week will be footwork and fundamentals that students will need at the higher level.  Then the second hour will cover important patterns.  One person - Rick Archer - will teach the Technique Program.  The main reason for a single instructor is that is much easier for one person to teach the complicated parallel class system.    

Martian Technique will be available to anyone who has completed Intermediate Whip/WCS or similar material elsewhere.  I will be honest - if this class is too tough, I will not hesitate to suggest you move back to an easier level.  

With the same thought in mind, Martian Whip will move to elite status - at the start of each semester, new students will be evaluated at the start of class by Bryan or Lisa to make sure their are ready to enter their program.  

-----Original Message-----
From: Maria B
Sent: Friday, April 27, 2007 10:29 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: what happened to advanced whip?

Hi Rick,
I am Maria B, a former whip student. I took Advanced and Lunar Whip a few years ago and wanted to come back, but these classes are not listed any more. I am mystified because a couple weeks ago I checked your schedule and saw your advanced class listed. What happened to you it?

By they way, your newsletter didn't explain things very well so I thought I would write and see if you could help. I am not ready for some technique class... I barely remember how to walk much less do any difficult patterns. What do you suggest I do, take Beginning Whip over again? Thanks, M.
 

Rick Archer wrote:

Thanks for asking me to clarify things, Maria.  Sometimes something is quite clear to me, but I don't explain it properly, so it helps me that you spoke up. 

Regarding the Technique program, you are not the only person who is confused.  There have been several people who did not understand what I am doing.  So let me try again.  

What we once called "Advanced" and "Lunar" Whip are now Technique 3 and 4.  That material is not going to disappear. 

What I am doing is replacing a two-month program with a six-month program. This way, after a student finishes Intermediate Whip, they now get six months of advanced classes offered twice a week before the material begins to repeat.  This course is basically Space Station Whip... a six-month class that trains people to enter Bryan and Lisa's Martian Whip program.

No one says a student has to take all six months of Technique.  The moment a student gets bored, they can go to Martian Whip assuming they pass the test.

We had something similar to this on Thursdays.  The Thursday Technique program was popular, but it had two flaws: it was only offered once a week and there was no coordination btw the three instructors.  It seemed to me there were gaps in the training.  Since I am the only one teaching Technique, I promise you there will strong continuity.   

The biggest problem for me will be integrating graduates of Intermediate Whip into a class with people who have had two to six months more experience.   I expect the Intermediate graduates to struggle a little, but you know what?  The people who are ahead of them often appreciate the review.  That's how they get really good.

09. 2007 SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE

April  was quite a month - three weddings and one engagement.  Wow!

-----Original Message----- From: Tamara Kidwiler Sent: Monday, March 05, 2007 6:36 AM To: dance@ssqq.com Subject: engagement Rick,  Jason and I met at Tumbleweed Texas dancing on April 2, 2005!!  Jason had already taken dance lessons. He impressed me from the first night I met him. As a pilot, he was soon to be leaving for training in Salt Lake City. I was still in physician assistant school and studying a tremendous amount.   We knew that we had found someone special and made time for each other! Our love continued to grow through deaths in the family, Jason's move to Chicago with Skywest airline, PA graduation, a vacation to Jason's grandparents' farm in South Dakota, and then our engagement in Prague, Czech Republic. I am 50% Czechoslovakian, and I had always wanted to trace back my heritage. We had planned a trip there in April 2006. Jason surprised me by a romantic proposal on Charles Bridge!! The country was beautiful and we highly recommend this vacation site to everyone.  During our engagement, Jason and I began taking dance lessons. I was taught by my father to dance at an early age, but never professional dance. Our experience at SSQQ has been terrific! Our wedding is planned for April 21, 2007 and since it is fast approaching, many details are awaiting completion. We are taking a break from dance lessons for now. We will be back soon-- we promise!
Tom Huddleston and Bette Polishak came up to me at the studio on Sunday afternoon, April 1, with a grin on their face.  I knew immediately what they were up to! Even though it was April Fool's Day, based on their smiles I had a hunch they were quite serious about announcing their engagement.  Bette confirmed that Tom got down on his knees to propose.  Awesome!  In fact, I think she said he did it twice... once before the ring and once again after the ring just to be sure.  I'm sure you ladies like that story. See ring pictured at right. Oh, that's Tom and Bette in the picture behind the ring in case you didn't see them.  Congratulations!
It is my understanding that Keith and Betty were married on April 14 with a reception party at Wild West. I will add details when they come in, but for now let this wonderful couple serve as yet another reminder that it is wise to either smile for all Halloween Party pictures or to send me a better picture ASAP!
As this Newsletter goes out, SSQQ Martian Whip instructors Bryan Spivey and Lisa Palmer will be getting married on Saturday, April 28.  Bryan and Lisa met here at SSQQ 5 years ago.  They began dating in 2004 and in 2005 they became engaged.   In the next newsletter we will have lots of pictures!
	Becky and John Sartain were married last year, but their Halloween snapshot was the only picture I had.  Thank goodness their friend Lin Mills sent me a definite improvement!

10. STORY IN THE NEWS: Woman dropped on head alleges 'negligent dancing' - CNN.com

Woman dropped on head alleges 'negligent dancing' 
CNN.com (contributed by BK Moring)
POSTED: 9:25 a.m. EDT, April 3, 2007


Story Highlights• Lacey Hindman, 22, is suing a dancing partner

• She says she was dropped on her head at an office party

• Attorney David Baum says his client is a victim of "negligent dancing"

• Hindman suffered a fractured skull and brain injury, suit says


CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- A woman is suing her dance partner, claiming he dropped her on her head after flipping her into the air at an office party.

Lacey Hindman, 22, was a victim of "negligent dancing," says her lawyer, David M. Baum.

In the suit, Hindman claims that during a party at a Chicago bar and restaurant in April 2006, David Prange grabbed her by the forearms and tossed her in the air, and then she crashed to the wood floor.

"I was in the air, over him," Hindman said. "I fell hard enough you could hear the impact of me hitting the floor over the sound from the jukebox."

Hindman said in the suit, filed in Cook County Circuit Court, that she suffered a fractured skull and brain injuries. She is seeking damages for medical bills and lost wages for time missed from work.

Hindman worked for Prange's wife, Kate Prange, at Shop Girl, a women's boutique.

There was no immediate response to a call seeking comment from David Prange on Tuesday.

12. PARKING PROBLEMS ON FIRST STREET

On Wednesday night, January 31, 2007, the car of an SSQQ student named Maggi Dodds was towed from First Street by order of the Bellaire Police.

Adding insult to injury, Ms. Dodds was also ticketed for parking in a NO PARKING ANYTIME zone.

I did not witness Ms. Dodd's car being towed. Nor did I find out about this event until the next day. I believe Ms. Dodds car was gone before we even knew what was going on.

However at 9:15 that evening I did intervene in the towing of a second vehicle. In addition I engaged a Bellaire policeman in a lengthy conversation.

We saved the second vehicle from being towed, but the incident shook up everyone who witnessed the event. When the other people heard about it from me or the other witnesses, they too were shaken up.

Naturally this incident provoked a great deal of anger. The towing incident seemed so unnecessary that people questioned the judgment of the Bellaire Police Department and the City Government.

(The rest of this article contains maps, pictures, and several stories. If you are an SSQQ student, this is MUST READ because at issue is the safety of your vehicle. First Street Parking Problems

14. story in the news: Ten of the best April Fool's Day hoaxes ever
Sent in by Chris Holmes


From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history.

Here are 10 of the top April Fool's Day pranks ever pulled off, as judged by the San Diego-based Museum of Hoaxes for their notoriety, absurdity, and number of people duped.

-- In 1957, a BBC television show announced that thanks to a mild winter and the virtual elimination of the spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. Footage of Swiss farmers pulling strands of spaghetti from trees prompted a barrage of calls from people wanting to know how to grow their own spaghetti at home.

-- In 1985, Sports Illustrated magazine published a story that a rookie baseball pitcher who could reportedly throw a ball at 270 kilometers per hour (168 miles per hour) was set to join the New York Mets. Finch was said to have mastered his skill -- pitching significantly faster than anyone else has ever managed -- in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans' celebrations were short-lived.

-- Sweden in 1962 had only one television channel, which broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to receive color pictures by pulling a nylon stocking over the screen. In fact, they had to wait until 1970.

-- In 1996, American fast-food chain Taco Bell announced that it had bought Philadelphia's Liberty Bell, a historic symbol of American independence, from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell.

Outraged citizens called to express their anger before Taco Bell revealed the hoax. Then-White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale and said the Lincoln Memorial in Washington had also been sold and was to be renamed the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial after the automotive giant.

-- In 1977, British newspaper The Guardian published a seven-page supplement for the 10th anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semicolon-shaped islands. A series of articles described the geography and culture of the two main islands, named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse.

-- In 1992, US National Public Radio announced that Richard Nixon was running for president again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." They even had clips of Nixon announcing his candidacy. Listeners flooded the show with calls expressing their outrage. Nixon's voice actually turned out to be that of impersonator Rich Little.

-- In 1998, a newsletter titled New Mexicans for Science and Reason carried an article that the state of Alabama had voted to change the value of pi from 3.14159 to the "Biblical value" of 3.0.

-- Burger King, another American fast-food chain, published a full-page advertisement in USA Today in 1998 announcing the introduction of the "Left-Handed Whopper," specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new burger included the same ingredients as the original, but the condiments were rotated 180 degrees. The chain said it received thousands of requests for the new burger, as well as orders for the original "right-handed" version.

-- Discover Magazine announced in 1995 that a highly respected biologist, Aprile Pazzo (Italian for April Fool), had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. The creatures were described as having bony plates on their heads that became burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speed -- a technique they used to hunt penguins.

-- Noted British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on the radio in 1976 that at 9:47 am, a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event, in which Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, would cause a gravitational alignment that would reduce the Earth's gravity. Moore told listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment of the planetary alignment, they would experience a floating sensation. Hundreds of people called in to report feeling the sensation.
 

15. THE SSQQ ARCHIVES:  THE FOUR MOST DANGEROUS ROADS IN THE WORLD!

-----Original Message-----
From: Carol Gafford
Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2007 9:32 AM
Subject: Road of Death

Holy Cow!!!!  Rick, you have to see these pictures. They are incredible!


From: Rick Archer
Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2007 5:51 PM
To: Carol Gafford
Subject: RE: Road of Death


There are actually FOUR dangerous roads, Carol. I wrote about them extensively and included more pictures. 

Go visit my story. The Four Most Dangerous Roads



-----Original Message-----
From: Carol Gafford
Sent: Friday, March 23, 2007 8:39 AM
To: Rick Archer
Subject: RE: Road of Death

Wow!!!!!  Rick that is spectacular!!!  You did a great job!

Now I know where to go to find some great information. I am going to forward this to the friend that sent me the original email.  Thanks!    Carol
 

Editor's Note:  I originally learned about these places from two emails sent to me in December 2006 by Milt Oglesby. Milts first email was titled "Road of Death" (it was the same email Carol Gafford sent me above).  I was fascinated.

After visiting the Internet to learn more about the "Road of Death", I discovered the "Road of Death" email had 8 pictures of a little-known location in China called "Guoliang Tunnel" mixed in with 15 authentic pictures of the frightening "Road of Death". I suppose someone mixed them together to make the truly dangerous Bolivian road seem even more scary!

At any rate, as I researched the Bolivian Road of Death further, I discovered two more incredible locations.  One is the bizarre Road of Mud in Siberia.  It turns out that every summer the most important highway in Siberia turns completely to mud whenever it rains.  You have to see the pictures to believe it!

Then I discovered the story of the most dangerous hiking trail in the world.  At Mt. Huashan in China, there is a public hiking trail that is so dangerous that you are literally risking your life to visit.  

So all in all, there are four stories that you will find are amazing and incredible.  This is one of the most articles I have ever written.   The Four Roads of Danger

The Bolivian Road of Death

The Bolivian Road of Death

The Highway of Mud, Siberia

The Highway of Mud, Siberia

16.  HAPPY LETTERS TO THE EDITOR - Rick Archer

This is a new feature that begins with the April 2007 Newsletter.  For many years, the most popular section of the entire Newsletter has been the complaint section. 

It dawned on me the other day that I get lots of email that is actually quite pleasant as well regarding the studio and the web site.   Hope you enjoy the new feature.

LETTER ONE: KEEP ME ON THE MAILING LIST

-----Original Message-----
From: Debbie V
Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2007 12:29 AM
To: Dance@ssqq.com
Subject: ssqq newsletter

I certainly don't want to be taken off your mailing list!

As a matter of fact, I would like to continue to receive your newsletters and would appreciate you changing my email address.

I enjoy reading every copy...and if I hadn't hurt my knee 2 years ago, I'd be stepping with the best! I was scheduled to start my very first class with SSQQ on July 12, 2005 when I fell and hurt my knee at work on July 9th...a real bummer!  Can't seem to get the knee back.   Thank you!   Debbie

LETTER TWO: WHAT ABOUT MY  COURSE HISTORY?

-----Original Message-----
From: mina
Sent: Monday, April 02, 2007 12:16 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: question about class history

Hey,  My name is Mina G..... I was wondering if you can access my file and tell me which salsa classes i took already?
If I decided to repeat any of the courses, is there a discount?

Thanks, Mina G

(FYI: Most people can access their own history by going to the SSQQ Online Registration page and click the HISTORY link.  All you need is your name and your birthday.)

LETTER THREE: THOSE DAM BEAVERS! -----Original Message----- From: Tresa Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2007 4:05 PM To: dance@ssqq.com Subject: Dam Letter from the Government Rick, you have got to read this smart-ass letter about a Beaver Dam some guy sent to the government.  You will be in stitches. Rick's Response: Surprise, Tresa, I already have that infamous letter on the ssqq web site and it is indeed hysterical.  Here is the opening paragraph from the ssqq web site:

In July 1997, a Michigan man noticed flooding on his property. He traced the problem back to a dam on a nearby stream. He complained to the Michigan Dept of Environmental Quality.

Five months later, the agency responded with a letter to the offending land owner. Written by David Price, a Michigan DEQ official, the tone was quite threatening. Citing the "unauthorized construction of the dams", the letter demanded the property owner "cease and desist" any further construction and remove the offensive dams under penalty of $10,000 a day!

The letter was a comedy of errors. First it was sent by certified mail to the wrong man. When the letter finally reached the correct owner, Mr. Stephen Tvedten, he said he would be happy to help, except he didn't build the dams. A bunch of beavers did.

What makes this story so interesting is the classic letter that Tvedten wrote in response.

Go visit Beaver Dam and read for yourself how one man responded to a letter from the government demanding that his beavers stop building dams on his property!

LETTERS FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT: ABOUT THE POT FARM

LETTER FOUR
-----Original Message-----
From: Bob L
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2007 9:39 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Drug House

Where would one look into buying this?
Thanks, Bob

-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2007 11:05 AM
To: Bob L
Subject: RE: Drug House

I heard it burned down.

LETTER FIVE
-----Original Message-----
From: matt s
Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 12:38 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Fred Strunk's pot mine

I am Fred Strunk's nephew. It's December 2006, and I am just now finding out about this. Please reply
...........................................................................
 

LETTER SIX
-----Original Message-----
From: Malcolm C
Sent: Thursday, November 30, 2006 7:34 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Pot Farm

Hey Rick...  Outstanding Web Page... Thanks so much for all the work. Well done, awesome, & interesting!!!

Thanks again, Mal
 

On Nov 30, 2006, at 6:02 AM, Rick Archer wrote:

How did you find that page?  I was going to announce it today in the new December Newsletter.

Thanks for the compliment. I hope it didn’t show I was rooting for the crooks…. ;-)


-----Original Message-----
From: Malcolm C
Sent: Thursday, November 30, 2006 1:57 PM
To: Rick Archer
Subject: Re: Pot Farm

Hi Rick...

I did a search in "Dogpile" for it... A friend had sent it to me in an email previously (how to do that is over my head), & I had saved it as a "Draft", but I had lost it accidentally when I was installing an updated email program...

I use it periodically when I minister at a Boy's Prison camp in a "Keynote" presentation (they love it)... Although I'm a pastor now, I'm a retired Robbery-Homicide Detective, & it is a great piece to share with the kids as an object lesson...

Re the "rooting for the crooks", yeh, it kinda came across that way initially, but I thought your analogies were really good, & at least from my point of view, you brought it back "on track" again very nicely...

Anyhow, the kids really appreciate it, as do I (only now I can give you credit when I share it), & I thank you once again for all the effort you put into it... I sure hope I'm not violating any copyright laws in sharing this with the kids...

If you have done or ever will do any similar pieces in the future, & there is a way to tuck me into your, "NOTIFY WHEN COMPLETED FILE" that would be great...

Sincerely, respectfully, & with much gratitude,

mal



On Nov 30, 2006, at 12:44 PM, Rick Archer wrote:

Ah, you ran across it with a Search Engine. That makes sense.

As I said in the article, I am a law-abiding citizen. I pay my taxes, have little debt, and have never been arrested for anything in my life. I am respectable enough that I am fortunate to have a policeman working for me as a part-time dance teacher. I consider him a friend so I hope he doesn’t get mad at me when he reads this story.

I suppose my sympathy for the bad guys in this story revolves around the fact that I don’t think marijuana is any more dangerous than alcohol and there were no victims (except for the power company that was out $61,000).

If anything, this story is a law enforcement coup! It shows no matter how smart the bad guys think they are and no matter how clever their well-financed operation is, they will probably make some mistake that will trip them up in the end.

Moral of the story: Crime doesn’t pay.

Why else would law enforcement people put this story out on the Internet for people like me to see? They probably would be pleased to see it getting as much coverage as possible.

I wish I could think of another story to help you with, but I think this story is one of a kind on my web site. Thanks again for the nice words.

 

-----Original Message-----
From: Malcolm C
Sent: Thursday, November 30, 2006 5:02 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Pot Farm

You're more than welcome Rick... It's been great chatting with you!!!

All the best, Mal
..............................................................

LETTER SEVEN
-----Original Message-----
From: Richard from the United Kingdom
Sent: Friday, April 06, 2007 8:10 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Russian Wives

Hi, Just read your article about the weed farm in Tennessee, it was good to get a bit more information because I had seen pictures of the same place before but without the background.

However, in your article you also write:

"The last time I heard of Robert, he was running a business for men who wanted to marry Russian wives. From Russia With Love!! Same old Robert - always into risky business. Some people just aren't cut out for the normal life. They would rather live life on the edge of danger."

"Don't cheaters win some of the time? If it isn't Fred, then it is my old friend Robert trying to cash in on a pathetic scam like Russian wives. "

I fail to see why running a dating agency is living on the edge of danger, or why Russian wives are a pathetic scam. Many people in western Europe, including myself, have met their wife from former Soviet states now in the EU and are very happy. The UK and Ireland has a large community of Polish, Lithuanian, Latvian, and Estonian workers as well as some Russians, who all came here to work. The women from Russia and ex-Soviet eastern Europe are in the main wonderful, kind and traditional in a way that has not been seen in the west for 1 or 2 generations. It is slightly offensive to read someone would consider the whole idea of meeting women from there pathetic.

Anyway I enjoyed the rest of the article but felt I had to write to you about that!

Best Wishes, Robert

(My Response: This one left me speechless.  He may have a point.)
 

LETTER EIGHT
-----Original Message-----
From: Joe Smith
Sent: Tuesday, February 27, 2007 11:09 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Your Article ...POT

Mr. Archer

I just read the article about the house in Tennessee. As I read in fascination, I realized, it really wasn't the information that was keeping my interest. It was the way this information was being told. Your descriptive dialog is what was intriguing.
Your very good, at letting people see your personality. Now your probably thinking this is a compliment and it surely is, but the reason I'm contacting you is. I'm wondering, if you would perhaps be interested in Ghost Writing a manuscript I wrote back in the Eighties. I think its very good, but of coarse I would. I am not as gifted a writer as you. It was something I did, to see if I could, as I always had a yearn. But once you do this, you see your limits and face the truth. So I packed it away.

This day and age there are several ways to publish any writing. I dont know, the legal obstacles, that would surface. But I know 50% of something is better then 50 %, of nothing . As it could be alot of work for nothing. Just a thought.

Thank you for your time.

-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Sunday, March 04, 2007 2:30 PM
To: Joe Smith
Subject: pot farm RE: Your Article ...POT

Bless your heart, you have given me a wonderful compliment. Thank you very much.

I will be honest - I run two businesses (dance studio, travel agency) that I can barely keep up with as is. I can't see any chance of finding any free time to help you as I continue to write my own stories.

Nevertheless, I am deeply touched by your request. I am very grateful that you have thought of me in this way.

POT FARM

 

LETTER NINE:  ABOUT THE ARTICLE ADVICE TO MEN

-----Original Message-----
From: Hans Hofmeister
Sent: Wednesday, September 06, 2006 5:52 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Cc: Hans Hofmeister
Subject: 6 Part "Advice to Men"

Hi Rick,
Thanks so much for taking the time to write the Mens' Advice part of the SSQQ website.

You have written a lot of very helpful points with good stories to illustrate them. I appreciate these hints for how to better approach the opportunity of SSQQ!

Have a great day, Hans Hofmeister


 -----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Thursday, September 07, 2006 12:22 PM
To: Hans Hofmeister
Subject: Advice to Men

Thanks for the nice words, Hans. I wrote it to help others to avoid all the mistakes I made.  If a couple of men could sidestep even a few of the many stupid things I had to learn the hard way, then my effort was justified.  I appreciate your kind encouragement.

 

LETTER TEN:  SPECIAL MOMENT IN TIME

-----Original Message-----
From: jim landureth
Sent: Monday, April 23, 2007 10:44 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: exciting moment in time

At three minutes and four seconds after 2 AM on the 6th of May this year, the time and date will be

02:03:04 05/06/07.

This will never happen again.


-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Tuesday, April 24, 2007 11:23 AM
To: jim landureth
Subject: exciting moment in time
 
I get goose bumps just thinking about it so I plan to stay awake.  How about you?

LETTER ELEVEN:  ABOUT THE WINCHESTER CLUB

-----Original Message-----
From: S. Garrison
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 12:30 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Your website made me happy!

Dear Mr. Archer:

A couple weeks ago I happened to be in Houston late and wanted a beer. Since I left Houston in 83, I don't know who is who there anymore. Some local directed me down the street to a place called the Westwind?? I believe. (off 290)  While there I got to talking to these folks next to me and we were talking about the old clubs and who was who and the Winchester came up.

It seems that both of us had lost a hell of a lot of brain cells there and we talked about Ike Sweat and the Cotton Eyed Joe.  So I went to the DJ, and asked him if he had Cotton eyed Joe. He said yes and played Ike Sweat's version from Live at the Winchester. Well I was just looking on the net for a copy of that recording and found your website. Sure made me happy. I was never much of a dancer, but I sure was good at drinking too much and meeting women there.

They sure were some good times.

You don't know what you've got till it's gone........................

BTW if you ever remember a 6'8" hippie/biker there it was probably me.

Doug (Stretch) Garrison


-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 5:57 PM
To: S. Garrison
Subject: RE: Your website made me happy!

Thank you, Stretch.

I imagine my story is the only place on the web where pictures and memories of the Winchester Club are listed.

I just finished it a few weeks ago and I am glad to know some other fans of the place have found it.

I appreciate your kind words.

(Editor's Note: The Winchester Club was the place where SSQQ got its name. If you have never read the story, I guarantee you have a big smile after you find out what happened.  The Winchester Club was also the place where SSQQ first began to marry off couples right and left.  The old adage was that you came to the studio without a partner, but you definitely left with one.  The story about the Winchester Club is a good story.)


WINCHESTER CLUB

18. COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH
 

19.  COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH
 

20. JOKES OF THE MONTH - THE JOKE PICTURE AND THE JOKE HALL OF FAME - nothing new in May

We publish one Picture Joke each month. The April picture joke is called "The Hungry Deer".  It was sent in by my friend Gerald McEathron.

SSQQ has acquired about 600 jokes over the last ten years.  Each month we roll another 50 or so for your reading pleasure.
Please visit our Joke Hall of Fame. 

This month Gareld wins both prizes.  Here is one of my favorite Hall of Fame Jokes taken from the April collection. Actually this Irish joke is brand new. Gareld sent it in a week ago.  With St Patrick's Day around the corner, I thought you would enjoy it.  


April BS 18: The Irish Bar - Gareld McEathron

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! Another beer came sliding down the bar as his reward.

Proud of himself, O'Reilly went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night".

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John hesitated, but thinking fast he said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

Upon seeing her, the man chuckled and grinned at her leeringly. He said, "You know, Mary, your husband John won the prize the other night at the pub with a splendid toast about you."

Mary replied, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he really doesn't spend much time there, maybe twice in the last four years. The first time he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."