The Great Continental Airline Fiasco
contributed in April 2001 by Lesa Myers

There is a saying that the only difference between men and boys is the size of their toys. Well, boys love to play with airplanes, so naturally boys masquerading as grown men would find a big airplane even more fascinating. This is a story about two airline mechanics who were unable to resist a trip to the cockpit of an airplane they were servicing.

Have you ever awakened from a dream where you did something so colossally stupid that you were sweating and scared out of your wits?  Then relief pours over you as you realize you were just dreaming and now everything is okay after all?  

Well, these two idiots weren't dreaming. They actually did something so incredibly stupid they caused a million dollars worth of damage. Thank goodness no one was hurt or this story wouldn't be nearly as funny!

(PS - I doubt those gentlemen have a job there anymore!!!)

Another saying is that a picture is worth a thousand words. I think after you see the pictures, no explanation will be necessary or could possibly enhance the incredulous shock that overcomes you!!

ACTUAL FLIGHT DATA RECORDER (FDR) TRANSCRIPTS: 

Mechanic #1: "Hey Bob I really don't think we're supposed to be up here." 

Mechanic #2: "Tony, your such a worry wart. Anyhow, we're supposed to be up here remember, we're cleaning this bird." 

Mechanic #1: "Are you sure? I thought they told us to stay out of the cockpit." 

Mechanic #2: "Hey look at me. I'm a pilot!!!...(Deep Voice) Ladies and Gentlemen this is your captain speaking we're at an altitude of 30,000 feet and Oh my God watch out for that mountain.........Ahhhhhhhh (laughter)." 

Mechanic #1: Hey man cut it out... Hey don't touch that it says "engine start" on it... 

Mechanic #2: Don't worry... they always turn these things off while they're at the gate. 
(Engine sounds in background.... mechanics unaware) 

Mechanic #2: Ready for takeoff......VRRRRRROOOOM VRRRRROOOOM (Throttles rapidly moved from idle to full and back to idle and full again) WEEEEEEEE! 

Mechanic #1: OH NO!! WE'RE MOVING!!! 

Mechanic #2: WE'RE GOING TO HIT THE WALL!! RUN!! (Cockpit door opens and slams shut. Occupants heard running to back of the airplane screaming and yelling) 

30 seconds later...... Throttles pulled back to idle.