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WHAT'S NEW AT SSQQ THIS MONTH

Second things second. Marla and I are getting married on Sunday, September 26th. Wish us luck!

Third things third. Daryl and Joanne Armstrong present their amazing Tattoo, Leather and Lace Dance Party on Saturday, September 25th. It is my understanding that this party is at least 7 years old. Up till now, the party has always been in Rocky Kneten's hidden photography lab in the middle of nowhere, but in 2003 the party moved over to SSQQ.

Daryl and Joanne intend to bring their special brand of debauchery straight to our door!! The music will include Whip, Western, and Swing.

Daryl is very insistent that everyone complies with the dress code for the party: This includes TWO VISIBLE TATTOOS, LEATHER, AND AS MUCH SKIN AS POSSIBLE. To show how open-minded he is, Daryl said he would slide on the Lace if it was obvious someone was making a good-hearted effort to dress indecently. However if you think Daryl is kidding about the Tattoos though, he is not. I know from personal experience you either have the Tattoos or don't come to the party. Daryl promises to stick you with a tattoo himself if you are too lazy to take care of the problem yourself.

A rule is a rule. Remember there is a 'Two' in Tattoo. That means Two Tat-twos or Sing the Blues!! (Please Note that no one has to wear a Tattoo to attend the Crash Courses. The Tattoo Rule is Party-Only.)

Well, what else can possibly be interesting after those three announcements??

SO WHAT HAPPENED AT THE SSQQ EXTRAVAGANZA ON AUGUST 28th??
Wouldn't you like to know? Pictures and story can found in this Newsletter further below.

THE SSQQ HALLOWEEN PARTY IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

Saturday, October 30, starting at 9 pm - 1 am. Cover Charge $14

"SHALL WE DANCE" MOVIE REVIEW - Written by Judy Archer

This Ballroom Dance movie is a remake of an early 90s Japanese film of the same name. Here is a brief plot synopsis:

An overworked Chicago accountant (Richard Gere), tired of the boring routine that his life has become, sees a beautiful dance teacher (Jennifer Lopez) through a window and decides to start taking lessons from her in order to get to know her better, and as the joy of dancing enters his life, he discovers that it might just be the secret to saving his troubled marriage. As the accountant's skill as a dancer improves, he eventually signs up for the Chicago Crystal Ball Dance Competition. And how will he do?

(You can read a more extensive review further below)

BELLAIRE SALUTES THE SUCCESSFUL OLYMPICS MEN'S GYMNASTICS COACH KEVIN MAZEIKA!!

Rick Archer's Note: Kevin Mazeika is my hometown hero. After an abysmal showing at the Sydney Olympics, the U.S. gymnastics committee turned to Kevin as a new leader in 2001. The results were immediate - the United States brought home two consecutive silver medals in the World Championships of 2001 and 2003 followed by a near-miss of the Gold Medal in the team competition at the recent Athens Games.

I grew up with Kevin through the Friends Meeting (Quakers) here in Houston. Since he is 11 years younger than I, we never had much in common. Instead I was much closer to Kevin's older sister Peggy as we shared many a Sunday activity together. These days Peggy helps Kevin run the Houston Gymnastics Academy, which is located just down the street from SSQQ near the corner of Gulfton and South Rice.

Read the complete story behind Kevin Mazeika's triumphant role in returning the United States to gymnastic glory on the ssqq website! (see below)


THE SORDID SHAGGIE JITTERBUG SAGA REVISITED

From: Rana B
Sent: Monday, September 06, 2004 9:09 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: adventures [Fobidden Word] , shAggie, Jitterbug, Bah Humbug... I need to learn the Charleston!!

Mr. Archer:

Today's Internet search consisted of finding fact and fiction relating to the 1920s. I was honestly searching for ideas to incorporate into the 20s Christmas party I am organizing for my company. I thought it would be a fantastic idea to learn and then teach the Charleston to my coworkers and bosses as part of the evening's fun....

As Internet searches often do, my search went terribly random and I found myself at your site. Two hours later, I have read the entire Shaggie Saga and wish I had the power of pen and prose that you possess.

How's this for irony? In one week, I will land in Aggieland - College Station to be exact. After reading the saga, I now have two missions for my otherwise unremarkable trip to visit my granny.

1) To wear my University of California at Davis Aggies sweater as much as possible
2) To meet my new hero (that would be you) and let him teach me as much Charleston as I can learn in one sitting.

How far is Houston from College Station and might I schedule a lesson on September 15 or 16?

Thank you kindly,

Rana B
Sacramento, CA

Rick Archer's Note: It has now been over four years since the Adventure of the Shaggie Jitterbug. The whole story was so absurd it probably belonged in Ripley's Believe it Or Not. Even today it seems too stupid to be true, but then that's what it seemed like four years ago as well. In a nutshell, Texas A&M threatened to file a trademark infringement lawsuit against SSQQ for teaching an obscure little swing dance that is popular in only place in the whole world. Can you guess the name of the dance and the place where it is popular??

This is a true story. It is also a pretty funny story. You will enjoy a good laugh. If you are curious to know more about this ridiculous adventure, please visit:
http://ssqq.com/information/advent43.htm

COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH: RICK ARCHER GETS DISRESPECTED BY HIS ART COMPANY

Okay, okay, I admit this particular story is no tear-jerker nor is it amusing. It is a story about a company that sells the artwork that appears on the SSQQ website. It is also a story about a thick-headed policy that may someday backfire against the company. And it is a story about the first "Bill Collector" in the history of SSQQ. Read all about it in this Newsletter (see below)

GLORIA SANCHEZ IS THE SSQQ INSTRUCTOR OF THE MONTH

Find out why! (see below)

WE HAD TWELVE WINNERS IN THE SEPTEMBER SSQQ LOGIC PUZZLE CONTEST
(see below)

AND WHAT ABOUT THE OCTOBER SSQQ LOGIC PUZZLE??

(see below)

SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE!!
We had one couple get married and one couple get engaged. Who are they?
(see below)

VENUS AND MARS - About something special for women that comes at the touch of a button!!
(see below)

AND SIX NEW SPECIAL FEATURES THIS MONTH!!

STORY IN THE NEWS: LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
STORY IN THE NEWS: KIN OF DWI VICTIM AWARDED $24.7 MILLION
STORY IN THE NEWS: KEN HOFFMAN ASKS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE A DIRECT BUS FROM THE AIRPORT?
STORY IN THE NEWS: BOYS AND THEIR TOYS (A MUST-READ LAUGH-FILLED STORY!! - BETT SUNDERMEYER
STORY IN THE NEWS: ARABS LAMENT TIES TO TERRORISM
STORY IN THE NEWS: SSQQ INSTRUCTOR MONA NASHED VISITS THE WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL HOTEL!!
(see below)

Plus Clean jokes and Blue jokes galore, the joke picture of the month, pun of the month, vocabulary word of the month and plenty more!!

 

STORY ONE

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THE SSQQ HALLOWEEN PARTY

Saturday, October 30, starting at 9 pm - 1 am.  Cover Charge $14
We have an awesome 7-foot Frankenstein waiting for you in the Haunted House. We haven't fed him since last year. He has been instructed to eat the first guest attempting to enter not wearing a costume.

Last year the Mummy joined the other creatures in the Haunted House. He was a little shy last year, but this year he is looking for someone to hug in the dark. It might be you!!
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party20.htm

Obviously we will have quite a bit to say about this party in next month's Newsletter, but for now why not review some of the pictures from last year's 2003 party:

http://ssqq.com/information/hallo200300.htm

THE SSQQ HALLOWEEN MONSTER TRIVIA CONTEST - USE YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF HORROR MOVIES TO WIN A FREE PRACTICE NIGHT TO THE INFAMOUS SSQQ HALLOWEEN PARTY!

Many of you wasted your youth watching too much TV and too many movies. Now as an aging adult, you may regret terribly all those hours down the drain where you could have been writing a famous novel or studying more to get the grades that would put you into the graduate school of your dreams.

Now - finally after all these years - comes an opportunity to have something, anything to show for your terribly misguided and misspent youth. You can take the SSQQ Halloween Monster Trivia Contest. Try to identify 40 pictures from the famous and not so famous horror movies of the past 70 years. For every Frankenstein and Dracula, there will be a few pictures so completely obscure that only people who have a history of watching useless, long-forgotten movies have any chance of winning! In other words, Slackers have the best chance! You could be the one!

http://ssqq.com/archive/halloweenmonsters00.htm

Have fun!!

(PS- Previous Participants Prohibited From Winning. And if you have played before, SSQQ Scout's Honor Not to Help Anyone! Let's have a level playing field. This is a Very Important Major Contest after all!!)  Only a real Monster would ever Cheat at something like this!

RETURN TO HEADLINES

THE SSQQ EXTRAVAGANZA!!

-----Original Message-----
From: Goins, Robert
Sent: Tuesday, September 21, 2004 7:03 AM
To: 'dance@ssqq.com'
Subject: Thanks for the Triple Two Class

Rick,

Thanks for putting the Beginning Triple Two Class on the schedule in November. I hope this SERIES of classes will turn out like Sharon Crawford's Waltz Classes, my question is what can I do to help promote this class, I definitely plan on telling everyone I know about the class but was wondering if we could start promoting it during the break? This will be a fun class and Scott is a great teacher, Thanks again.  Robert Goins

Charlene's Beginning West Coast Swing had 15 people while Judy's Beginning Swing and Linda's Western Swing Review class each totaled about 10.

The second session from 11:30 am to 1 pm saw Bryan again lead the list with 35 people for his "Advanced WCS Patterns". Scott Ladell again took second with 20 people in his Latin Hustle class. Rounding out the list was Rick with 12 in my Easy Polka Patterns class while Patty and Judy each had 8 people in their Swing workshops.  

The third session ran from 2 pm to 3:30 pm. Lise Gagnon expressed great delight in knocking Bryan into second place with her "Ladies' Hip Body Motion" workshop. Her class was conducted behind closed doors with no men in attendance. I heard there were 30 women there, but I will never know as my entrance into the inner sanctum was blocked at the door. "No peeking" was the word as I was sent packing. After watching how well Lise moves when she dances the Whip, I can understand why the ladies packed the room looking for some hints.

Bryan didn't do too bad himself. He had 25 men learning WCS footwork and styling. His class and Lise's class merged towards the end so both sexes could practice their new moves on each other. This is a time when a camera would have really come in handy.

Linda Cook's "Synchronized Polka" class was also a big hit with 25 people in attendance. This is always a very popular class.  Gloria Sanchez' Balboa class did well with 15 students.  Anita taught her "Slow Burn" Hip Hop class to 10 students while my exciting Western Waltz class brought up the rear with 4 loyal students.  Normally we would have canceled a class with this few students, but I liked the 4 I had, so I swallowed my wounded pride and taught the class as if there were 50 people screaming and chanting for me.

The evening session was very well attended. Bryan regained his supremacy with a tie for first place. He had 30 people take his Dips/Lunges/Stunts WCS class. However Maureen Brunetti packed them in as well with 30 students of her own in "Swing Charleston", a much-loved Crash Course.  Linda Cook came in third with 20 people in Beginning Twostep, Scott Ladell had 15 in his Ghost Town class, and Ben had 10 in his goofy Western Swing Role Reversal class. I have to say, watching a woman lead a man in Western Swing is a sight to behold.  The men complain that the women can't lead, the women complain that the men can't turn worth a damn. The complaining and whining is almost deafening, but everyone seems to laugh and have a great time in the process!!

A little after 9 pm the Beach Ball Dance Party started.  Charlie Cotrone and his Hit 'n Run Band started off the evening with "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison. I love this song!  Marla and I were the first people on the floor. We were quickly joined by many other couples.  Next came "Neon Moon" by Brooks and Dunn.  The band played one famous hit after another.  One of their strengths was 60s and 70s Motown Music. "Soul Man", "Mustang Sally", "Honky Tonk", "Midnight Hour", "Old Time Rock and Roll", and "Knock on Wood" were some of the Whip songs we danced to.  The Band was also very good at Santana music. We heard "Evil Ways", "Black Magic Woman", "Oye Come Va", and "Smooth" as the evening progressed.  Anyone who knew how to Cha Cha had a big smile indeed throughout the evening dancing to these hits!  Interestingly, each song was also easy to dance Whip/West Coast Swing to as well.

I am a big Van Morrison fan.  I was thrilled to dance to tunes like "Moondance", "Brown Eyed Girl", "Domino", and "Wild Night". Oh, I was having too good a time!  Every song the Band played was easy to dance to because they were careful to play the songs at the original speed the songs were recorded at.  One dancer after another commented to me on how perfect the speed of the music was. This was not an accident - Charlie Cotrone asked his wife Lisa to have me write down the speed range for each song before the party started.  They went to A LOT OF TROUBLE to get the speed right on the dot and they were successful beyond my imagination. I was very proud of them!

The Swing people were astonished at the number of songs they were able to dance to. Hit 'n Run play some great Swing music of all types. In addition to the Van Morrison music, we heard "Jump Jive and Wail", "House of Blue Lights",  and "The House is Rocking" plus great 50s hits like "Johnny B Goode", "Tequila", "Whole Lotta Shaking", "Jailhouse Rock", and "Hound Dog".  The Swing people are used to getting the short end of the stick at parties like this, but not tonight. The Swing Kids danced their backsides off.

The Western people were probably the only ones who were a little disappointed.  Hit 'n Run played lots of Western music such as "Better Man", "Fool Hearted Memory", "Friends in Low Places", "Neon Moon", "Amarillo by Morning", "Don't Rock the Jukebox", "Does Fort Worth Ever Cross Your Mind" and "Fast as You", but I think they were hoping for a higher percentage of Western music. We played lots of Twosteps during the Band Break and that seemed to help cheer them up.

In addition to the band, we were in for a lot of excitement during Intermission. We had not one, not two, but THREE performances to enjoy!   Cheryl Denise, our scintillating Samba dancer from San Francisco, offered to perform the Samba at Break to help promote interest in her class. I had no idea what to expect, but it sounded like fun to me. I was just as thunderstruck as everyone else to see her appear out of nowhere in a Vegas-style outfit moving her gorgeous body in ways that can only be described as "arousing", especially if you are a guy. I'm a guy and that's how I would describe it...

How could the evening be complete if there weren't at least a little criticism? 

"If I were to email a complaint of the month could/would you guarantee it remain anonymous?

Saturday was tremendous fun to have live music for a change. I am guessing the question you are hearing is "Did Rick know in advance what the Samba lady would be doing & wearing?"  At least that's the question I heard from several people."

Well, to be honest, I didn't know exactly what to expect, but I had seen a picture of the lovely Cheryl in her Samba costume and was actually hoping she would wear the same outfit.  I guess I am used to seeing dancers similar to Cheryl perform at night on our Rhapsody cruises and didn't even give it a second thought. And you know what, I thoroughly enjoyed Cheryl's marvelous dancing at our party. She was magnificent!! 

After Cheryl, Bryan Spivey and Lisa Palmer performed a West Coast Swing routine for us. They too were magnificent!  I cannot begin to tell you how beautiful Lisa is to begin and to see her dance so gracefully was a wonderful treat. Bryan is usually something of an attention-magnet himself, but he toned down his own style to allow Lisa to shine. And Shine She Did!!  Judging by all the smiles and applause, I was not alone in my appreciation.

At 8:30 pm, Bryan had just finished teaching his Fourth Workshop of the day. He was drained and ready to drop. He just wanted to find the nearest bed and collapse. Or the nearest hamburger stand and refuel... whichever came first.  The poor guy was running on empty. He looked at me and said, "Rick, would you mind terribly if I begged off on that performance tonight?"

I knew exactly how tired Bryan had to be. One side of me had total sympathy for his exhaustion. No one but me even knew he had planned to perform. And I also knew the party would be a big success whether he performed or not.  But the other side of me knew that most of our students have never seen Bryan and Lisa perform and that they would be amazed at how talented the two of them are. This was Bryan and Lisa's chance to shine in the spotlight.  So I suggested to Bryan that he go have a bite to eat and relax a while. I told him he could make a lot of people happy by dancing that night, but if the energy failed to return, I wouldn't be in the slightest upset with him. But if some of the spark came back after food and some rest then I would be proud of him if he hung in there.

Bryan and Lisa put on a great performance. I have recently made a tape of it and will play it at the studio if you remind me.  Then you can see for yourself just how good they are!

After Bryan and Lisa left the floor, Anita Williams and Scott Ladell took center stage.  Anita is a seasoned performer who lives for the spotlight. Scott is Anita's equal in talent, but has nowhere near as much experience in performing as she. So naturally he was a bit nervous as they took the floor. Scott needn't have worried at all - both of them were excellent as they danced a flashy Western Swing routine.  Scott and Anita are the pair who have begun a Western Competition Dance Program here at the studio. You can read more about them by Clicking Here).

Thank you, Cheryl.
Thank you, Bryan and Lisa.
Thank you, Scott and Anita.

The five of you made a lot of people very happy and excited with your dance performances. It was easily the finest group of performances in the history of my studio. You are all exceptional performers!

There were actually even more performers that night.  George Grega is a friend of mine who happens to have an unusual profession. He owns a company that puts on parties and events. For example, when Clay Walker performed at the Aquarium Club as part of Baseball's All-Star weekend here in Houston last July, George Grega supplied the lights, the sound equipment, the stage, and more. His GJG Events Services company had a lot to do with the success of our Beach Ball Party as well. Not only did he supply our terrific stage, but he provided the music equipment and a great light show as well. But George didn't stop there. He decided to invite some of his friends along.  For starters, our bandleader Charlie Cotrone has been George's friend for many years. It was through George that I met Charlie in the first place. George has been a fixture in the performing world for some time in sort of "background capacity". George has worked in the theater for years. In fact, this is how he started his business by providing the lights and sound to organizations like "Theater Under the Stars". Along the way he has met many talented actors, singers, and dancers, a veritable Houston Who's Who of performers. So he decided to invite several of his favorite singers to accompany Charlie and his band.  First John Mendoza sang "Friends in Low Places".  Then the beautiful and statuesque Kirsten Chambers sang "All of Me".  Unfortunately the mike wasn't working properly so we could fully appreciate her contribution.  Then late in the evening a young high school student named Whitney Conkling sang "Walking After Midnight". My ears perked up immediately!!  Wow!!  This girl can sing!  She has a growl that you cannot teach. Her voice and passion reminded me of someone like Tina Turner. I think she would be a great singer for a Blues band or a Western band. This kid has a future. I asked George if she had an agent. George just smiled. Apparently I wasn't the first person to comment she has that kind of talent. Wow!!  By the way, I have Whitney singing on tape. If you remind me, I will be happy to play her performance at the studio.

And why didn't I take more pictures?  Well, something strange happened.  I danced the first couple songs of the night with Marla. I had originally heard Hit 'n Run play at the wedding of George Grega's daughter Tanya back in January. At the time I had been impressed with how much I liked their music and how much fun they were to dance to.  Marla had missed the wedding due to business, but now she was smiling and saying the same thing, "Hey, this band is fun!"   So I danced a couple more songs.  The next you knew, the floor was packed.  Everyone else was saying the same thing - these guys are great to dance to!!

One great dance song after another followed.  I could not sit down!  It was the most fun I had had dancing in years!  Then it dawned on me why I liked the music so much.  I had picked it all myself!!

Charlie's lovely wife Lisa had called me in the middle of the week to ask my help in building a play list.  As we talked on the phone, she named song after song that the Band could play and I would give an enthusiastic response every time I heard a song I liked.  So it turned out the playlist consisted completely of songs I liked!!   I guess it was no coincidence after all that each song played that night got my ringing approval.  Well, hey, I paid for the Band so shouldn't I get to pick the music?  And wasn't it nice of everyone to keep me company at my own personal party?  So I guess I have to admit I was a little selfish that night - I decided to enjoy my own party. 

And you know what?  I think practically everyone in the house had almost as much fun as I did.  The party was a major success.

 -----Original Message-----
From: 
Sent: Monday, August 30, 2004 3:53 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: EXTRAVAGANZA Great Workshops

Rick,

I think Saturday was a huge success. The Triple Two-Step workshop was my favorite and I hope it's offered more often - maybe even as a regular class. Scott did a great job and I really enjoyed it.

Thanks for all your hard work!!

Debra


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Monday, August 30, 2004 10:47 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: extravaganza Absolutely Awesome Party Saturday Night

Rick, considering I've been coming to the Studio for almost 6 years, and have attended many events, I have to tell you Saturday's Extravaganza was the best! Every class I took was fun and the instructors were fabulous (Bryan, Scott and Lise). And the party and the added entertainment were the most fun I've had in a long, long time. My legs still ache from all the dancing.

Thank you (and your ever-awesome staff) for all the hard work. It was an event to be remembered in the history books!!!!!!!

Sandy

STORY FOUR

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STORY FIVE

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STORY SIX 

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STORY EIGHT

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STORY NINE

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STORY TEN

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STORY ELEVEN

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COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH:   RICK ARCHER GETS DISRESPECTED BY HIS ART COMPANY

BEST NEW JOKES OF THE MONTH

Over the years, we have been sent countless numbers of jokes by our Newsletter Readers.  We have kept what we thought were the best.  At this point we have now have a Hall of Fame collection of over 600 jokes.  Many of them are real gems. We rotate these jokes on a monthly basis so over the year you get to read them all.

In addition to our "Classics", we also get many new jokes each month sent in by our students.  This section contains our favorites.  At the end of each year we add these jokes to the "Immortal Collection".

By the way, getting a joke selected isn't very easy since we have been collecting jokes for so long. It's tough to find a new one.  So if you send in a great joke and nothing ever happens, trust us - it is already on the Web Site.  If you don't believe us, email and ask about your joke!!  I am serious. I will show you where the joke is.

We greatly appreciate any jokes you would like to submit. Send them to Rick Archer at dance@ssqq.com

GLORIA SANCHEZ

This award goes to an SSQQ Staff member who does something beyond the call of duty.  In any given month, there are always at least 100 quiet acts of simple kindness performed by someone who works at SSQQ for which the person gets no credit, but our organization benefits from the gratitude.  The problem for me is that these many moments usually occur way under my radar. So if you have an instructor to nominate, please let me know and why!!   dance@ssqq.com

On the other hand, sometimes the move is dramatic enough to catch my eye so I can say something about it.

 

Gloria Sanchez joined the SSQQ Staff in December 1999. She came to the studio as part of the Swing era in the late 90s.  Over the years, Gloria has been an integral part of the Swing Scene and the SSQQ Swing program. I will be honest - Gloria can be hard-headed and is more than willing to stand her ground. She and I have been at odds on a few issues over the years. She will never be accused of being a "yes" person. Gloria speaks her mind candidly at all times, even if it means disagreeing with the boss at times.
Gloria is an extremely talented dance instructor. Her specialty is training people to how to dance off-the-beaten-path Swing dances. For example, during the past year, she has taught classes in Lindy Hop, Balboa, and Carolina Shag. Just between you and me, I personally don't know how to dance any of those dances and I dance for a living!  That's what I mean by "off the beaten path". Normally for a teacher to specialize in such little-known dances is suicide.  Not Gloria. Her classes make consistently. What is even more amazing is that her students keep begging for another level!   In December 2003 Gloria wrapped up the year with Lindy Hop level 5.  This means she had students stay with a dance most people have never even heard of for five consecutive months. Then in January 2004 Gloria started teaching Beginning Lindy again. I figured she had fished that pond dry. Nope. Gloria took that class through 4 straight months. She only stopped because I asked her to take a month or two off to let Maureen teach Swing Charleston. Then in July Gloria began teaching Balboa, another dance most people have never heard of. I targeted this class for one month and out.  Then came a request from her students for Intermediate Balboa in August. And Advanced Balboa in September. How on earth does she keep these classes floating?  Well, I don't know how she does it. I don't take her classes.  But the most likely explanation is that she is a skilled instructor.  I highly compliment Gloria Sanchez on her accomplishments. In October Gloria takes on another obscure dance - Carolina Shag. Now this dance is a big deal in South Carolina. But here in Houston, no one has a clue what it is like. If you see a Carolina Shag course go to Level 5, I promise to make it a front page story.

THE WINNERS OF LAST MONTH'S SSQQ LOGIC PUZZLE

2004 September

1. Connie and Jeff Woodman (Fourteen Months in a Row of Victories!)
2. Wendy Wilkinson (First Time Winner!)
3. Mark Marshall (First Time Winner!)
4. Michelle Glick (Two Months in a row; could be a player!)
5. Trent Haynes (First Time Winner!)
6. Steve Upchurch (Two Months in a row; better keep an eye on him!)
7. Karen Babb (Two Months in a row; a potential champion?)
8. Paul Foltyn (Two Months in a row; Michelle, Steve and Karen better watch out!)
9. Susan Arevalo (Thirteen months in a row of victories!)
10. Ann Faget (Fourteen Months in a Row of Victories! The current co-leader makes it to the next round)
11. Ritesh Laud  (Seven Months in a Row!)
12. Mara Rivas   (Fifth Month in a row!!)

I forget to list the winner's of the August puzzle. We had the largest number of solvers in history!!

2004 August

1. Deepak Jain (First Time Winner!)
2. Ruth Feng (First Time Winner!)
3. Sorrell Warren (Third month in a row!)
4. Neal Pellis (First Time Winner!)
5. Paul Foltyn (Previous Winner; Welcome Back!)
6. Karen Babb (First Time Winner!)
7. Michelle Glick (First Time Winner!)
8. Pamela Frederick (First Time Winner!)
9. Mara Rivas (Fourth Month in a row!!)
10. Penney Goodwin (First Time Winner!)
11. Steve Upchurch (First Time Winner!)
12. Susan Arevalo (One Year in a row of Victories!)
13. Marlies Whitmoyer (Second Month in a Row!)
14. Connie and Jeff Woodman (Thirteen Months in a Row of Victories!)
15. Ann Faget (Thirteen Months in a Row of Victories!)
16. Ritesh Laud (Sixth month in a row!)


We can always use some new players in the SSQQ Logic Club. Check out this month's new puzzle and send me an answer!!  You can be a Contender!!   And as an added bonus you never know whom you might end up living with!  
 

THE NEW SSQQ LOGIC PUZZLE

As a tribute the fame of the Greek Muses, Madame Raisa Kechko created her very own ballet in their name to be performed by Moscow's Imperial Russian Ballet Company.

While preparing for the end of the performance of an original Russian ballet, "The Greek Muses", Madame Kechko took special care that her 9 dancers would receive their well-deserved recognition by using a staggered departure schedule from the stage.

Using the program listings to keep track of the nine Muses and their particular disciplines, it is your job to complete the program with the first and last names of each dancer, the role they danced, and their number onstage during the various Curtain Calls.

I thought this was a tricky puzzle, but it was very cool!  It also played fair; I didn't find any dirty tricks. Give it a try:
http://ssqq.com/archive/logicpuzzle17.htm
 

THE SSQQ JOKE PICTURE OF THE MONTH
Joke Picture

WHY WOMEN LIVE LONGER THAN MEN
Contributed by Judy Walsh

http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/jokepicture.htm

THE WORST SSQQ PUN OF THE MONTH
(There is no such thing as a good pun...)

THE SSQQ VOCABULARY WORD OF THE MONTH

Okay, admit that you don't know the answer. Let's try multiple choice:

a) egotistical
b) noisy
c) annoying
d) autochthonous
e) irritable
f)  obnoxious
g) folk singing
h) the latest Salsa Dance
I) sentimental
m) nuisance

If you want to know the answer, click here.

By the way, everyone gets to play this game. If you have a good vocabulary word, send it in!! Best word each month gets a free practice night. Be sure to add a sentence! dance@ssqq.com )
 

SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE!!

VENUS AND MARS

Orgasms at the touch of a button - Contributed by Bett Sundermeyer
 

Turned On!! The manufacturers say sales are about to hit the 4,000 mark Women around the world are being told they can now have an orgasm at the touch of a button. The makers of "Slightest Touch" say their device can give women longer, better and more intense orgasms. They claim their device can trigger an orgasm without touching a woman's genital area. According to the manufacturers, Slightest Touch works by stimulating the body's sexual nerve pathway.

Women start by drinking an electrolyte sports drink 20 minutes before using the device. They then apply two white electrode pads inside their ankles. These pads are connected to the Slightest Touch device, which is about the size of a personal stereo.

With the flick of a switch, women can literally get turned on. The device stimulates the nerves sending gentle pulses up the woman's leg for between 10 and 30 minutes leaving women on the verge of climax.

"The Slightest Touch does not provide an orgasm," said Cherisse Davidson, the company's director of customer support. "It gently stimulates the sexual nerve pathways taking the woman to a pre-orgasmic plateau where she dangles on the edge of orgasm for as long as she wants.

"From there, gentle stimulation can then effect the orgasm."

BBC News Online has been unable to get independent scientific verification that the product works.

But Ms Davidson, who first tested the device three years ago, insists it is effective.

"It can be of great benefit to many women," she told BBC News Online. "I've been using mine for three years and I just love it."

She said the product can help women who simply want to improve their sex lives and those who have problems achieving orgasm.

However, the Slightest Touch, which sells for $139.95, is not suitable for everyone.

It is not recommended for women taking anti-depressants, those who are pregnant or those with some underlying medical conditions such as heart problems.

The product which was launched in the United States six months ago is now starting to getting attention in Europe.

Ms Davidson said the company had now sold almost 4,000 devices - some to customers in Britain.

However, the UK's FPA, formerly the Family Planning Association, urged women to get professional advice before spending their hard earned cash.

"If women feel they have problems with either sex or relationships, it's better to go and get professional advice about the possible causes, before spending a lot of money on a particular product," said a spokeswoman.

(Rick's Note: Yet another sign that men are becoming obsolete.

Do you have something interesting to contribute on this subject?  Send itin!!  dance@ssqq.com )

THE SSQQ CLEAN SIDE JOKE PAGE
Clean Side Jokes

Over the years, SSQQ has been fortunate to receive many jokes sent to us by our Newsletter readers. We have compiled them into our Monthly Joke Page. At the end of the year, I will add the jokes that appear in our "Best New Jokes" column into this monthly "Hall of Fame" section. This way your jokes will become immortal!!

Boudreaux been fishin down by de bayou all de day and he done run outa night crawlers. He be bout redeye to leave when he seed a snake wit a toad frog in hits mouth. He knowed that dem big bass fish likes toad frogs so he dun decided to steal that froggie. That snake, he be a cottn mouthed water moccasin so'd he have to be real careful like or he'd git bit.

He snuk up behind de snake and grabbed him roun de haid. That ole snake di'nt lik hit one bit. 

He commemced to squirm'n an wrapped itself around Boudreaux's arm try'n to get free, but Boudreaux, him had a real good grip on his haid, yea.

Well Boudreaux pried hit's mouth open and got de frog and put's it in his bait can. Now Boudreaux knows that he cain't let go of de snake or hit's goin' ta bite him good, but he had a plan.

He reached into de back pocket of'n his bib over-hauls and pulls out a pint o' moonshine likker. 

He pours a couple of draps inta de snakes mouth.

Well that snake's eyeballs roll back in hits head and hits body goes limp.

Wit dat Boudreaux toss's duh snake inta da crick then he goes back tuh fish'n.

A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumptin tapp'n on his barefoot toe.

Well, he slowly look down and dare be dat water mocassin, and he gat two toad frogs in his mouth!!

 

THE SSQQ BLUE SIDE JOKES!

The Blue Side Jokes are one of the great secrets of the SSQQ web site.  It is your reward for taking dance classes at SSQQ.  Anyone who is on the SSQQ Registration List is welcome to have access.

All you need to do to get the address is to email me from the email address you use to register for classes and request it. dance@ssqq.com  

Although the Blue Side is off-limits to the outer world and only SSQQ Students are invited into the inner sanctum of “Dirty Jokes”, each month we manage to find one that is printable. Please see below!!

START OF THE SPECIAL FEATURES SECTION

SPECIAL FEATURE ONE

Does Love at First Sight Exist?
 

by Martha Brockenbrough
(Note: Ms. Brockenbrough writes for the Microsoft Encyclopedia Encarta.  This interesting article was part of their monthly newsletter.  MSN_Newsletters@hotmail.com )

Part I: Love at First Sight

When you're in the question-and-answer business like I am, you get a lot of questions. My e-mail is always full of messages--it's like having a two-year-old in your inbox. Because I'm human and need a little time to sleep--and also because I have an actual two-year-old at home--I can't possibly answer all the queries that come in.

Sometimes I get questions that I simply can't answer, no matter how well-rested I am. For example:

Does Patsy love me? Or, Is Herman the ONE?

Without a working crystal ball, I can't tell if you're really in love or if someone loves you. I could make something up and tell both e-mail writers that Patsy and Herman are secretly dating each other. But that wouldn't be very nice, considering the fact that real hearts are on the line. Nor would such tomfoolery be worthy of Encarta, which is, after all, an encyclopedia full of glorious, actual facts, not just stuff people like me have made up for their own amusement.

So when a reader asked recently, "Does love at first sight exist?" my initial reaction was a huge sigh and the temptation to answer, "Of course not. Just ask Patsy."

My skepticism about love at first sight puts me in the minority, it turns out. A British survey taken around Valentine's Day found that almost 66 percent of participants believe in it.

Can two out of three people be wrong? Or is it possible that love at first sight exists after all? I suddenly had to find out.

As I learned, like so many things in life, the answer depends. But not necessarily on the things you might think.

Part II: Don't believe everything you read

Love is a very popular topic in literature. It always has been, even in such unexpected places as the Bible. Don't let anyone ever tell you that studying religion is boring, not with lines like, "O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely."

This expression of yearning comes from the Old Testament's Song of Solomon, which is about as mushy as it gets. Though experts disagree over some aspects of the Song, everyone pretty much agrees it's about love and romance, "kisses of his mouth," and even more stirring things.

Then there's the legend of Helen of Troy, whose face launched a thousand ships--and the Trojan War. This story even has a love-at-first-sight component. It seems a man named Paris chose Aphrodite as the most beautiful of the goddesses. His reward was the world's most beautiful woman, Helen, who happened to be happily married to a Greek king. But then love at first sight struck.

Under the influence of Aphrodite, Helen agreed to leave her otherwise happy marriage and go to Troy with Paris. And thus started the decade-long Trojan War, which experts believe occurred sometime between 1230 and 1180 B.C.

Shakespeare's Romeo finds love at first sight when he crashes a party and meets Juliet. And it has to be true love, because both of them end up dead, right?

Well, according to experts, not exactly.

Part III: What is that loving feeling?

So what were Romeo and Juliet feeling when their eyes met across the proverbial room?

Most likely, psychologists will tell you, it was something that's not quite love.

"Lust at first sight exists," explains Pepper Schwartz, a University of Washington sociologist who specializes in love and relationships.

We all have certain "markers," Schwartz says--certain things that ring our love bells. These might include eye color, a type of build, or even the way someone dresses. It's hard to say how these markers develop, and why certain people appeal to us more than others, she says.

Roanoke College psychology professor Galdino Pranzarone describes this as a "love map." Each of us is programmed in childhood and early adolescence to look for certain characteristics.

"Once your love map is in your brain, it is there for life and rather immutable," Pranzarone says. "Thus we tend to pick types of people for our successive relationships, whether in dating or marriage."

So, how did we develop our love maps and marker preferences?

Researchers have made the case that we are attracted to people who look like we do. But it isn't only similar features that dictate who we'll spend time mooning over. For example, the BBC reports that partners often have similar lung volume, neck and wrist circumference, metabolic rate, and ear lobe length.

Other theories say it's our noses that cause our hearts to pound when the right person is in the room. In an experiment conducted in 1995, the Swiss researcher Claus Wedekind took the T-shirts from a bunch of sweaty men and asked women to rate them. The T-shirts the women rated highest turned out to be from men with immune system genes that were dissimilar from theirs. Researchers say this is possibly because diversity in immune system genes can lead to producing healthier offspring. The T-shirts that the women rated lowest were the ones that reminded them of their brothers and fathers.

It seems that people are more likely to have feelings of attraction when they're in a stimulating--even scary--environment. Schwartz describes a study in which men who had just crossed an unstable bridge were more likely to call a woman at the other end who gave them her phone number than they were when the same woman stood at the end of a stable bridge.

So you can only imagine the heart-pounding hormonal rush that occurs in the scariest environment of all: the middle school dance.

In any case, it's not just our hearts that race when we get that loving feeling. Chemicals wash through our body, and certain parts of our brain work differently. In the early, crazy stages of love, three chemicals called neurotransmitters rule: norepinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin.

Serotonin is linked with depression and other disorders. That's why it's probably a good thing that love progresses beyond the early, crazy stages, or more people would end up like Romeo and Juliet.

Norepinephrine, meanwhile, makes your heart pound and your palms sweat. Dopamine, manufactured in the very unromantic liver, helps regulate emotion. Together, dopamine and norepinephrine can steal your appetite and keep you awake at night.

Dopamine is not only activated by love, but also by nicotine and cocaine use. In fact, studies have shown that four areas of the brain activated by euphoria drugs are the same as those that get switched on by love.

Other studies have shown that people addicted to certain drugs, like cocaine, have a shortage of dopamine in their brains. It's not clear whether the drug abuse causes the shortage, or whether the shortage causes the abuse. What is clear, though, is that the feeling, whether drug- or love-induced, is essential. It's so essential that some people will do things that are bad for them just to experience it.

What's also clear is that love might not only break our hearts; it might even break our brains.

Part IV: So, is it really love?

Most modern relationship experts will tell you that there's no such thing as love at first sight, because love is more than just attraction.

You can tell you're feeling love, Schwartz says, when you communicate well, understand the world together, tolerate each other's flaws, and create a unique connection--something you just don't feel with anyone else.

This isn't something that can happen in five minutes, or even in all six episodes of "reality" TV shows like The Bachelor.

Some people get lucky, and the person they felt an instant attraction toward turns out to be someone they can also live with--despite the way they chew their breakfast cereal or mouth the words when they're reading.

When you're old and gray and celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary, you can say, "I knew it from the moment our eyes met."

But you didn't, really. You felt attraction, and over time it developed into love. Love at first sight makes a good story, but the much more common story is one that doesn't get told--when so-called love turns out to be either nothing, or an embarrassment. People don't call this sort of thing love at first sight, says Schwartz. "They just call that a dumb thing to do."

Mother Nature would call it a good way of getting grandchildren. Cavemen and cavewomen generally didn't live long enough to celebrate their golden anniversaries. As long as they could stick together long enough to conceive a cavebaby and raise it to childhood, the species would go on.

And that, says Roanoke College's Pranzarone, was the point. Even today, lots of relationships end after this stage of the relationship is completed.

"Worldwide, studies indicate that divorces peak in the fourth year of marriage," Pranzarone says.

Despite this depressing statistic, love remains important. How important is it? One theory ranks it third among six things that motivate humans. The first motivator is physiological (like eating and sleeping). Then come safety and security, followed by love and belonging. After love comes esteem, then fulfillment, then curiosity.

So, no matter how advanced we get, we'll always be susceptible to the call of love at first sight. It even happened to me, once--the first time I saw my dog. Ten years later, we're still as happy as can be. I wonder what the experts would have to say about that.
 

SPECIAL FEATURE TWO

(Rick's Note: Okay, I admit this one has me stumped. I fail to see why the Enterprise Leasing Company is any way responsible here. Can anyone explain to me why this company is liable?  All they did was lease him a car. Anyone have a clue??)

SPECIAL FEATURE THREE

SPECIAL FEATURE FOUR

SPECIAL FEATURE FIVE

Arabs lament ties to terrorism

(Editor's Note: There is a saying that it is very difficult to explain the thinking of an irrational mind to a rational person.

I for one cannot see the logic behind the kidnapping innocent women like the Italians who are simply trying to help and the cold-blooded murder of innocent children in Russia.  Nor can I figure out the thinking behind the Palestinian suicide bombers who murder unsuspecting and unarmed Israelis in cold blood?

What exactly are the terrorists trying to accomplish?  Is it revenge?

If the terrorists are trying to win freedom for their people, this is not the correct route. The closest I have seen a majority territory come to leaving its larger country in recent times was Quebec.  Last time I checked not one person died in the Quebec separatist movement.

Have any of these brilliant freedom fighters ever studied Mohatma Ghandi?  This is the man who managed to convince the British Empire to vacate India without resorting to violence.

Or have they studied our American hero Martin Luther King?  An admitted admirer of Ghandi and his methods, Reverend King accomplished the amazing feat of bringing a bigoted South to its senses through his patience and brave approach using non-violent protest.  In the process Mr. King had to stand against many of his own people who preferred bloodshed to sit-ins.  Mr. King is now a much-loved national hero while many of the proponents of violence who opposed him are now long forgotten.

I for one was pleased to read that many members of Islam are just as opposed to the sickening use of violence as I am.


Sept. 9, 2004, 7:18AM

New group claims Baghdad kidnappings Italian women taken by loyalists of al-Qaida leader

Associated Press RESOURCES

BAGHDAD, IRAQ - A previously unknown Islamic group claiming loyalty to a leader of al-Qaida took responsibility on Wednesday for the armed kidnapping Tuesday of two Italian aid workers.

A group calling itself Al-Zawahiri Loyalists said it had kidnapped the two Italians, Simona Pari and Simona Torretta, declared the women to be "spies" and promised to use them to "burn the hearts" of Italy's prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, and of the Italian people.

The group appears to be named for Ayman al-Zawahiri, the Egyptian physician who is believed to be the second-in-command of al-Qaida.

There was no way to authenticate the message, which was posted on a Web site used by Islamist groups.

The group made no demand of Italy's government, but instead said it intended to inflict "punishment" on Italy for basing troops in Iraq in support of the American-led forces here.

The two women were kidnapped from their home on Tuesday, when a group of about 15 armed men surrounded their house, barged inside and dragged them into a waiting convoy of three cars. The women worked with an Italian group called Bridges to Baghdad, which provides health services, water treatment and education to Iraqis.



Sept. 8, 2004, 11:53PM

Arabs lament ties to terrorism
Commentators denounce attacks, say they're ruining Islam's true image

By JOHN KIFNER
New York Times

BEIRUT, LEBANON - The brutal school siege in Russia, with hundreds of children dead and wounded, has touched off an unusual round of self-criticism and introspection in the Muslim and Arab world.

"It is a certain fact that not all Muslims are terrorists, but it is equally certain, and exceptionally painful, that almost all terrorists are Muslims," Abdel Rahman al-Rashed, the general manager of the widely watched satellite television station Al-Arabiya said in one of the most striking of these commentaries.

Writing in the pan-Arab newspaper Al Sharq al Awsat, Rashed said it was "shameful and degrading" that not only were the Beslan hijackers Muslims, but so were the killers of Nepalese workers in Iraq; the attackers of residential towers in Riyadh and Khobar, Saudi Arabia; the women believed to have blown up two Russian airplanes last week; and Osama bin Laden himself.

"The majority of those who manned the suicide bombings against buses, vehicles, schools, houses and buildings, all over the world, were Muslim," he wrote. "What a pathetic record. What an abominable 'achievement.' Does this tell us anything about ourselves, our societies and our culture?"

Writing in the Jordanian daily Ad Dustour, columnist Bater Wardam noted the propensity in the Arab world to "place responsibility for the crimes of Arabic and Muslim terrorist organizations on the Mossad, the Zionists and the American intelligence, but we all know that this is not the case."

"They came from our midst," he wrote of those who had kidnapped and killed civilians in Iraq, blown up commuter trains in Spain, turned airliners into bombs and shot the children in Ossetia.

"They are Arabs and Muslims who pray, fast, grow beards, demand the wearing of veils and call for the defense of Islamic causes," he said. "Therefore we must all raise our voices, disown them and oppose all these crimes."

In Saudi Arabia, newspapers tightly controlled by the government were even more scathing. Under the headline "Butchers in the Name of Allah," a columnist in the government daily Okaz, Khaled Hamed al-Suleiman, wrote "the propagandists of jihad succeeded in the span of a few years in distorting the image of Islam."

"They turned today's Islam into something having to do with decapitations, the slashing of throats, abducting innocent civilians and exploding people," he said. "They have fixed the image of Muslims in the eyes of the world as barbarians and savages who are not good for anything except slaughtering people.

"The time has come for Muslims to be the first to come out against those interested in abducting Islam in the same way they abducted innocent children," he added.

"This is the true jihad these days, and this is our obligation, as believing Muslims, toward our monotheistic religion."

(Editor's Note: There is a saying that it is very difficult to explain the thinking of an irrational mind to a rational person.

I for one cannot see the logic behind the kidnapping innocent women like the Italians who are simply trying to help and the cold-blooded murder of innocent children in Russia.  Nor can I figure out the thinking behind the Palestinian suicide bombers who murder unsuspecting and unarmed Israelis in cold blood?

What exactly are the terrorists trying to accomplish?  Is it revenge?

If the terrorists are trying to win freedom for their people, this is not the correct route. The closest I have seen a majority territory come to leaving its larger country in recent times was Quebec.  Last time I checked not one person died in the Quebec separatist movement.

Have any of these brilliant freedom fighters ever studied Mohatma Ghandi?  This is the man who managed to convince the British Empire to vacate India without resorting to violence.

Or have they studied our American hero Martin Luther King?  An admitted admirer of Ghandi and his methods, Reverend King accomplished the amazing feat of bringing a bigoted South to its senses through his patience and brave approach using non-violent protest.  In the process Mr. King had to stand against many of his own people who preferred bloodshed to sit-ins.  Mr. King is now a much-loved national hero while many of the proponents of violence who opposed him are now long forgotten.

I for one was pleased to read that many members of Islam are just as opposed to the sickening use of violence as I am.

SPECIAL FEATURE SIX

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