This is the July 2006 issue of the SSQQ Newsletter written by Rick Archer.

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WHAT IS NEW AT SSQQ - WELCOME REBECA AND BJORN! The big news of the month is the addition of Salsa instructors Rebeca and Bjorn Bangstein to our Saturday Salsa Staff. These two accomplished dancers will be offering an Advanced Salsa class titled "Salsa Explosion" starting Saturday, July 15, at 4:30. Be sure to check out their story further below in our "Featured Class of the Month" section. It has been wonderful having Jack Benard back. It seems like he was never gone. Everyone is grateful for the return of our friend. Jack has been a fixture at every Practice Night; no wonder he stays so thin! This issue of the July Newsletter has many different topics to explore. Stories in this issue include:

1. The RHAPSODY RELOADED CRUISE is just around the corner. It is scheduled to leave Galveston on Sunday, August 23rd. You can feel the excitement growing! Now that we have added a Club Med style competition between the Sharks and the Jets, oops, change that to the Alphas and Betas, I am sure we will be totally out of control. (By the way, we have an opening for a single lady at the reduced price of $519)

2. HIGHLIGHTS of the upcoming July Dance Semester features such goodies as Scott and Cher's Sunday Death Valley class at 4:30, Dakota's Samba class (Sunday 7), Rick's Advanced Tango class (Sunday 7), Scott's Advanced Hustle class (Monday 7), Bryan and Lisa's Rock and Go WCS class (Monday 7), Steve and Danielle's famous Advanced Salsa class (Tuesday 7), Sharon's Super-Advanced Western Waltz class (Wednesday 7), Martian Whip on Thursday at 7, Beginning Western Waltz on Friday at 7, plus the new Salsa Explosion class on Saturday afternoon.

3. The July Dance Parties include Ballroom and Swing at the July 15th INDEPENDENCE DAY PARTY and Western Dancing at the July 29th DUDE RANCH PARTY. The Dude Ranch Party will feature our you-have-to-see-it-to-believe-it Sadie Hawkins Manhunt.

4. I wrote a story about the reason I missed the JUNE SOCK HOP PARTY (a Bar Mitzvah in California) plus you won't want to miss Mara's cute pictures from the Sock Hop.

5. SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE was very busy this month with 4 weddings and two engagements. Sometimes the birds and bees at this studio are almost too hot to believe!

6. I wrote a story called the WONDERFUL WORLD OF SOCIAL DANCE that explores the reasons why SSQQ is considered a maverick in the dance business.

7. This month we are offering two LOGIC PUZZLES for the first time. One is very difficult and one is fairly easy. We need to get more people to play!

8. Ever hear of the CLINTON HIT LIST? This is a story so bizarre it sounds like it was taken from an X-Files script or an Oliver Stone Conspiracy movie. Still, it is very curious…

9. 7 beautiful women and 7 handsome men appeared on the COVER OF LEISURE LEARNING this month. See the pictures and read the cute story behind the event.

10. Ever wonder about those lovely pictures on the wall at SSQQ?  There is actually a story behind them. DYNAMIC GRAPHICS

11. Ever try your luck at GAMBLING? If you are Michael Jordan or Charles Barkley, two of America's most famous gamblers, what do you have to lose? But when a bunch of poor people goes down to defeat, then you have to wonder… What were they thinking? I have included an interesting article about gambling in this issue.

12. The ever-popular Complaint of the Month section deals with a hot topic - SAME SEX DANCING AT SSQQ. I am sure you will curious enough to check this one out.

13. The JOKE PICTURE of the month features a fashion statement made by a Roman Catholic official that surely you won't want to miss.

14. Last month I told about how the SSQQ Web Site is increasingly falling prey to CORPORATE WEB CENSORSHIP. This month I added several interesting emails on the subject and explained the reasons why I have decided to print the infamous BLUE SIDE JOKES where everyone can see them from now. Now that's radical, yes?

15. Last but not least, have you reached the age where you think you are losing your mind? Gay Anseman sent in a story about a woman who really seems to have reached the end of her rope. If you want to laugh and cry at the same time, feel free to do so. It is a clever tale. Read the story JUST SHOOT ME. You won't regret it!
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RHAPSODY RELOADED CRUISE UPDATE - Stands at 125!
August 23 - September 3 (Returns the day before Labor Day)
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/rhapsody2006.htm

This trip is now only six weeks away. It is officially our second largest cruise in history.

I have a hunch this is going to be the wildest trip of all time. I can just sense some serious craziness dying to break loose. After all the disappointment caused by Hurricane Rita last year, I can see the frustration on the faces of people signed up again who are ready to make up for lost time. There are clearly some very Desperate Cruisers out there.

This year's trip will have a new feature. I have scheduled five different competitions pitting the Alpha Team against the Beta Team. By an odd coincidence, you can take all the people who have cruised with us before and all the people who are first-time cruisers with us and the numbers come out practically equal. So the Rhapsody Competition will pit the Veteran Alpha Team against the inexperienced but very intensely committed Beta Team.

The Alpha Team will be led by the Alpha Hussy herself, Leslie (Alph) Goldsmith, and her attention-seeking counterpart Phyllis Porter. These two women have displayed an uncanny ability to lead men on a path to destruction, but can they lead their team to victory? That is a question that will be answered on this trip.

The Beta Team will be led by Dynamo and Dynamite. These two women are Femme Fatales who appear to be taking their leadership role a whole lot more seriously than the Alpha Team.

The first event will be the Balloon Relay Race at our August 22 SSQQ Beach Ball. 12 team members (6 men, 6 women) will race two different to determine the winner. Please note that all Rhapsody Cruisers can come to this party for free. We aren't going to give you any excuses for not showing up and participating. You can at least cheer your team to victory!

The second event will be the incredible Rhapsody Scavenger Hunt. It will pit both teams against each other in a frantic race. First the participants will need to find bizarre items to earn clues for the Treasure Hunt phase. Then they will need to go search secret locations throughout the ship to get the code which, once deciphered, will help them conquer Phase Three. My bet is on the team that is the most sober.

The third event will be another Scavenger Hunt, the Rhapsody's own notorious Men in Drag competition. Due to their experience, my money is on the Alpha Team, but you never know. For one thing, I know for a fact the Femme Fatales have some tricks up their sleeve. My bet is on the team that is the least sober.

The fourth event will be a blood-bath beach volleyball competition at Cozumel's Chankanaab Beach. I know the Alpha Team has some good players, but scanning the roster of the Beta Team, I think they should be favored. My prediction is the Captains will make the difference. There is enough talent on both sides for either team to win. Therefore the team that recruits their best players to participate will win.

The fifth and final event will be a Jigsaw Puzzle contest. There will be two boxes of the same 300-piece Jigsaw Puzzle. Both teams sitting in opposite corners of the same room will solve the puzzle simultaneously. Ready, Set, Go. First team to finish wins! Watch out for sabotage. I wouldn't put it past a desperate team to send a spy over to the other side in order to swipe a piece or two. It might be the team with the best security who will win. Don't be surprised to see both teams coming into the Jigsaw Puzzle contest with two victories apiece. This could be the competition that decides it all.

By the way, if you want to go on the trip, believe it or not there is plenty of room left. There is space available in Oceanview and Inside Cabins at the prevailing rate.

If you want to go, please call now. You do not need a roommate. With this much time left we should not have any trouble finding roommates.

Email marla@ssqq.com or phone Marla during the day at 713-862-4428.
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THE SSQQ NEW ENGLAND CRUISE
September 23 - September 30
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/newengland2006.htm

We currently have 37 people signed for this trip and continue to get nibbles from others who are interested. Marla says there is space available for our New England Trip. This "Autumn Leaves are Falling" trip leaves out of Boston on September 23. This is your opportunity to take a marvelous trip with the SSQQ Group to an area steeped in history and painted with beauty.

The ship's route hugs the rugged New England coastline and moves into Canada as well. This will give everyone a spectacular daily look at some of the prettiest scenery in America.

Obviously this trip is expensive, but it is well worth it for you Texans who have never visited this beautiful part of the country.

This is an especially active trip with six ports in six days. According to Cher Longoria who has scouted the trip extensively, there are many excursions to choose from, plenty of places to visit and lots of things to see. Kayaking, climbing, hiking, biking… you name it… this will be an extraordinary trip.

One more thing - we have an opening for a single female. In other words, we have one lady who is already signed up who needs a roommate.

Email marla@ssqq.com  or phone Marla during the day at 713-862-4428.
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THE UPCOMING JULY DANCE SEMESTER - CLASSES BEGIN SUNDAY, JULY 9.
Remember - if you miss the first week of class, you can always start in the second week. The Second Week Review will catch you up.
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/schedule.htm

Special classes for July include:  THE EXTRA
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/extra.htm

1. Competition Western dancers Scott Ladell and Cher Longoria bring DEATH VALLEY to our 4:30 Sunday Western program. Sunday afternoon Western classes have become a big hit since everyone leaves the studio right after class to hit Wild West for an evening of great Western dancing. What better way to start the evening than to learn the fanciest Western patterns of all time, then take them to Center Stage over at Wild West?

2. Our friend MG teaches Ghost Town Level 2 on Sunday afternoons as well. For those of who don't know MG very well, he loves to teach Ghost Towns more than anything else in the whole world!

3. Dakota teaches his SIZZLING SAMBA class on Ballroom Sunday Evening at 7 pm. Samba is the national dance of Brazil. It is most famous as the featured dance in the fabulous "Carnivale" held annually in Rio de Janeiro.

Samba has given rise to many different dances. The Bossa Nova is a Samba derivative. And let us add the "Dirty Samba" was renamed "Lambada". (Dakota will teach a somewhat less provocative Samba unless you persuade him otherwise.)

Samba is a major part of all International Latin Dance Competitions. It is a partner dance that is very sexy when done right. Using Triple Step footwork to fast-paced music, Samba is pretty tricky to learn. It is characterized by pulsing hip motion with an up and down bounce to it as well.

4. BEGINNING BALLROOM on Sundays at 7 will cover Swing, Foxtrot, and Waltz this month. Jack Benard will be the teacher.

5. Marla will teach BEGINNING TANGO on Sundays at 7. Of all the Ballroom Dances, Tango seems to be the most popular. Tango is a timeless symbol for the dark side of romance. The music is haunting and mysterious and the movement of the dance very dramatic. With songs like "Jalousie" (Jealousy) and "Ecstasie" (Ecstasy), Tango takes it place in legend as the dance of pride, anger, and most of all, passion. It is said that if Count Dracula were to choose a dance, there is no doubt it would be Tango.

Stylish and very dramatic, Tango combines sleek, hip-locked, gliding steps with abrupt stops into fans, flicks, flares, dips, and lunges. The eerie music, sultry motion, and the haunting sense of dark moods barely under control make Tango a truly fascinating dance!

6. Rick teaches ADVANCED TANGO Sundays at 7 pm. After a thorough review of the Intermediate Tango patterns, this class will also bravely venture into Viennese Lock Turns, the Suicide Lunge, Flare Side Switches, Flicks and Kicks, plus the provocative Lunge Plunge. Are you ready for a challenge?

7. Jill Banta will teach BEGINNING LATIN CHA CHA. Cha Cha is a fun and flirtatious dance. It is also the answer to a trivia question: what dance can be used to the most kinds of music? Cha Cha is an incredibly versatile dance. Cha Cha can be used to Tito Puente or Marc Anthony Latin/Salsa music, romantic Country-Western Polka music, all Disco music, 50s Sock Hop music like "Johnny Angel", popular music with a Latin Beat like the Beach Boy's "Kokomo" and Santana's recent Grammy winner "Smooth".

Cha Cha patterns can vary from the simple to the complex and will even use double turns when the mood strikes. Best of all, the Cha Cha has an attractive hip motion that make pretty dresses do the exact same thing that Gap Khakis do for Swing dancing.

8. Scott Ladell started off his four-month Hustle cycle with Beginning Hustle in May. This class was very well attended.

Now in July, Scott will follow up with ADVANCED HUSTLE.

9. Bryan and Lisa teach a special Monday West Coast Swing class known as "WEST COAST SWING ROCK AND GO PATTERNS". This class will also include many patterns known as Alternating Triples.

Rock and Go Patterns are West Coast Swing shortcut patterns. When combined with Alternating Triples, Rock and Go Patterns speed up the dance dramatically with a dozen clever new patterns including the flashy Tarzan and Jane Chest Lunge and the Viennese Waltz Alternating Triple Pattern. These patterns are not difficult and they are a great of fun.

10. Rick and Cher start off a new Whip/West Coast Swing Superclass cycle with BEGINNING WHIP/WCS on Mondays at 7 pm. Dakota and his wife Susan will teach the parallel class on Thursdays at 7 pm.

SSQQ has the only program in Houston that allows you to take this difficult class on 2 different nights (Sunday/Thursday) for the price of one. Plus SSQQ is the only program that still teaches the legendary Texas Whip. Although our emphasis is on the popular West Coast Swing, the Whip with its naughty moves and eye-catching hip motion brings Texas Heat to the class as well. Then stay and join us after class for our popular Monday and Thursday West Coast Swing practice night at 9 pm!

11. Tuesday Salsa is phenomenal. Each Tuesday, there is a Beginning, Intermediate, and Advanced Salsa class that average 80 to 100 people in each class. In particular, Steve & Danielle conduct their elite Advanced Salsa class each Tuesday. The Tuesday Salsa Practice Night hosted by Linda Cook is smokin'.

12. Sharon Crawford-Shaw begins her final series of Western Waltz with SUPER-ADVANCED WESTERN WALTZ on Wednesdays at 7 pm.

13. Texas State Whip Champions Bryan Spivey and Lisa Palmer bring you MARTIAN WHIP on Thursdays.

Martian Whip is dedicated to teaching the most Advanced West Coast Swing patterns. This class is especially useful for students considering competing or performing at some point.

14. Rick and Cher will teach BEGINNING WESTERN WALTZ on Friday. Western Waltz is considered the "Romantic" Western dance. The stakes being what they are, no sensible man should ignore this important dance! The moves are quite graceful and the music is very pretty.

Western Waltz patterns are taken from Ballroom Waltz. Some Waltz patterns travel while other Ballroom Waltz patterns such as the Box Step are danced in one area.

Western Waltz moves include the Ballroom Waltz patterns that automatically "travel" around the floor just as a Twostep or Polka would. After you have learned the details of Twostep, Polka, and Western Swing, Western Waltz becomes the next dance in progression for all Western dancers.

15. Willie Bushnell teaches Zydeco starting on Saturday at 430. Zydeco dance music originated in the state of Louisiana. Similar to Cajun music, Zydeco is more heavily influenced by blues and music from the West Indies. Zydeco is fun, sexy, and pretty easy to learn! This is a great Saturday class that will have you laughing all night long!

16. Rebecca and Bjorn Bangstein will present Salsa Explosion on Saturday at 4:30. Their Explosion class is an Advanced Salsa class that concentrates on Salsa Styling.

Bjorn and Rebecca are both highly polished Salsa performers. They have been in competitions and exhibitions for several years now and plan to bring the secrets of performing to their class.

In Rebecca's own words, "I will teach women (and men) movement of the arms, shoulders and hips. Women find it challenging to style while dancing with a partner and intimidated when left alone to shine."

In addition to the styling, there will be advanced Salsa patterns as well.

One note: This class is only open to people who have completed an Advanced Salsa class previously. It is not fair to have Beginning and Intermediate Salsa dancers come in and slow this class down. This class is aimed at students who intend to compete and perform in Salsa Dance. (read more in the story below)

FEATURED DANCE CLASS IN JULY: SALSA EXPLOSION SATURDAYS AT 4:30 PM As I mentioned earlier, the big news of the month is the addition of Salsa instructors Rebeca and Bjorn Bangstein to our Saturday Salsa Staff.   Rebeca sent me this information about her July 15th four-week class: Salsa Explosion: Salsa con Sabor y Estilo (Salsa with Flavor and Style) Description: "Add flavor and style to your dancing by incorporating movement of the arms, shoulders and hips. Improve your leading/following style and enhance the execution of turn patterns to the beat of the music."

Bjorn and Rebeca are practically newly-weds. They will be celebrating their first year anniversary in July.  I am not sure how close the date of their first class here will be to their anniversary, but it can't be that far apart! 

This very attractive couple is an amazing Fire and Ice team, North meets South. Three years ago Rebeca and Bjorn met through their mutual love and passion for salsa.  They found themselves on a dance team together. Due to their good looks and matching body types, they were often paired up as dance partners.  My guess is chemistry quickly took over... Salsa has a way of melting all barriers, yes?

Bjorn is originally from Norway where he grew up and received his training as a principal engineer.  Bjorn came to Houston on an engineering assignment in 2000 and was immediately caught up in the Salsa Fever brought on by "Living La Vida Loca".  In fact, he had so much fun with Salsa I am not quite sure how much energy he had left over to devote to his engineering career at the time.  For the next several years, he combined his Salsa dancing with his career that called for a great deal of traveling. Wherever he went, Bjorn made it a point to check out the local Salsa community. In addition he attended salsa congresses all over Europe.

Rebeca was born in El Salvador, but came to America at an early age. She was raised in Houston and discovered salsa in 2001. Today Rebeca is an educational administrator by day and also teaches a fitness class at a local Y.

Their hobbies include dancing salsa, traveling, doing outdoor activities and don’t be surprised if you see them hanging out at any Starbucks around Houston!

Below is a brief story of how they joined the SSQQ Staff:

-----Original Message-----
From: Rebeca Bangstein
Sent: Monday, June 05, 2006 8:26 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: dance instructors

Mr. Archer:

My name is Rebeca Bangstein. I am writing to offer you my services. My husband and I love to teach and dance salsa, in fact, like many of your students that's exactly how we met each other. I have been teaching cardio-styling salsa at the YMCA-Alief for the past three years. My husband and I also teach partner salsa.

In 2004 we were part of Salsa Eddy's original group and performed at events. We also competed in a salsa competition in Houston and Dallas. We have traveled to Europe and Puerto Rico to attend salsa congresses. I have assisted Alberto and German teach at Tropicana and at their Sunday class. My husband and I have an immense love and devotion for dancing.

My husband's name is Bjorn and he is from Norway. Originally I am from El Salvador but I've been in Houston for more than twenty years. My husband is an engineer and I am a teacher in Alief for intermediate level students.

Over the years I've had many request for a styling class. I teach movement of the arms, shoulders and hips. Women find it challenging to style while dancing with a partner and intimidated when left alone to shine. I also teach merengue, bachata and cha-cha. My husband and I are interested in teaching at SSQQ. If you think we would be a good addition to your team we would like to audition for you.

Thank you for your time

Sincerely, Rebeca Bangstein

-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Tuesday, June 06, 2006 12:03 PM
To: Rebeca Bangstein
Subject: salsa instructors

I am very flattered by your offer, Rebeca.

The truth is we are completely staffed at the moment; in fact we have one very talented former instructor who is waiting in line for the next opening.

That said, I am very impressed with your resume. You obviously would be an excellent addition to our program. The moment an opening occurs, I will see if you are still available.

Now that I think of it, I will forward your letter to Linda Cook, the head of our salsa program in case she can think of a place… perhaps an opening on Saturday afternoon since we have an extra room now open. Maybe we could put a different kind of Salsa class in there.

Thank you very much for your letter!

Rick Archer

-----Original Message-----
From: Linda Cook
Sent: Tuesday, June 06, 2006 11:03 PM
To: Rick Archer
Subject: Rebecca

Hi Rick, Rebeca came by and she'll be fantastic. I told her that we could put her in July on the schedule, but that I would have to see what you wanted to do…Either a crash course or a class.

Rebeca and her husband are advanced salsa dancers who want to offer a styling class. Bjorn travels all over the world so they have moves and styles from everywhere. I'm sure their class would turn out to be like Steve and Danielle's class, but on Saturday.

They are very well known so the class should be popular.

I told Rebeca to come to the advanced classes this month so she can highlight her styling to the students that would be ready for them. The students would be taking their salsa up a notch plus Bjorn and Rebeca have their own advanced moves.

Rebeca also teaches 4 Latin aerobic classes for the Y right now so that could somewhere be an option later.

Very nice couple. You definitely should hire them!

-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Wednesday, June 07, 2006 3:58 PM
To: Rebeca Bangstein
Subject: RE: salsa dance instructors

I spoke with Linda Cook and she set me straight - you guys are very well known!

Let me stat out with two apologies… one for adding an inadvertent "c" to your name and the other for not getting back to you quicker today. As always, I feel like I am writing letters to twenty people at once!

I am a Salsa idiot, Rebeca. I really like the music, I really like the dancing, and I think the girls are beautiful, but I have never taken the time to learn the dance. Back in 2000 my ex-wife Judy jumped into Salsa just as it was breaking with "Living La Vida Loca". There were very few Salsa teachers in those days. Judy saw an opening so she and I made a deal - I would handle the dances already on the plate and free her up to learn Salsa. The studio had a trickle of people learning Salsa during the famous Bush/Gore campaign that paralleled la vida loca. Six months later the studio was on fire w Salsa fever.

Judy's foresight got us there ahead of the pack and helped keep us there for four years. After she quit in late 2004, thank goodness our veteran staff stepped up to fill her shoes. We never missed a beat. Since then, the program has grown even bigger and I still can't take any credit for it. It drives me crazy. ;-)

My point is that I have just learned today how famous you and your husband are in Salsa circles. Linda suggested I prostrate myself when I finally meet you and beg your forgiveness for my ignorance of your esteemed reputation!

I would be proud to add you and Bjorn to the staff. Linda mentioned that Saturday opening would be an acceptable starting point for you. Excellent.

Welcome to SSQQ!
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PARTIES IN JULY - THE RED WHITE AND BLUE INDEPENDENCE DAY SWING AND BALLROOM PARTY
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party13.htm

Saturday, July 15th
9:15 pm - 11:30 pm
Cover charge $7

CRASH COURSES 7 - 9 PM
$14 Person, $22 Couple

BEG LINDY HOP - Gloria
ARGENTINE TANGO - Don
INTERMEDIATE FOXTROT - Jack
SLOW DANCING - Jill (cpls only)
ZYDECO - Ronnie
ADVANCED WALTZ - Dakota

Party at a Glance:
Music:
Ballroom Mix (Swing, Foxtrot, Tango, ChaCha, Rumba, Waltz) in Room 1
Swing in Room 4
Argentine Tango in Room 6

Dress: Wear Red, White, and Blue or you'll be Stew!!
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PARTIES IN JULY - THE SSQQ DUDE RANCH WESTERN PARTY
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party14.htm

Saturday, July 29th
9:15 pm - Midnight
Cover charge $7

CRASH COURSES 7 - 9 PM
$14 Person, $22 Couple

BEG C&W : TEXAS TWOSTEP - Marla
INT 2STEP/POLKA: CIRCLE TURNS - Rick and Linda
BEG WESTERN SWING - Robert and Cher
NIGHT CLUB - Scott
SHAGGIE JITTERBUG - Paul
ROLE REVERSAL WESTERN SWING - Ben
JACK'S FAVORITE MARTIAN WHIP PTNS - Jack

TO REGISTER FOR A CRASH COURSE, PLEASE COME AT 6:45 AND SIGN UP AT THE DOOR

Party at a Glance:

Music:
Western, Swing, and Western Waltz in Room 1,
Whip/WCS in Room 4,
Night Club in Room 6

Dress: Wear your best Western Outfit. In fact, don't be afraid to "overdo" it. This party rewards anyone willing to take a fashion risk.

Dress Slick or Leave Real Quick!!

One more thing: This year's Dude Ranch will feature THE INFAMOUS SSQQ SADIE HAWKINS MAN HUNT.

Women get MONEY for ruthlessly hunting men down and Men get GLORY for being elusive.

This is an event you DO NOT want to miss.
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THE JUNE 2006 SSQQ SOCK HOP AND HENRY'S BAR MITZVAH I heard through the Grapevine that our recent Sock Hop Party was a complete and total blast. I was both glad and sad to hear this. I was glad to hear it because I always enjoy knowing an SSQQ is successful. But I was also sad to hear it because I missed being there. Marla was invited out to Los Angeles for her nephew Henry G's Bar Mitzvah. This event served as a huge family reunion. Living here in Houston, Marla doesn't get to see her family very often, so she asked me to accompany her. I hesitated because the Sock Hop Party is so important to me, but I had never been to a Bar Mitzvah and I was curious to know more about this famous Jewish ritual. I was especially curious about this event due to the unusual experience of the young man. At his Bar Mitzvah, Henry had two pairs of parents and four pairs of grandparents! Henry's parents had divorced when he was 8 (2001) and he took it very hard. When I first met Henry in 2004, he was an angry, bitter, self-centered young man. I also noticed he was a genius. I was very drawn to this boy because his story was similar to my own (my parents divorced when I was 9) and because of his talent. Both his father and mother remarried within the next two years. Suddenly Henry went from being an only child to having two step-brothers his own age plus three new baby step-brothers and sisters from the two new marriages. Henry's father John, a brilliant and wealthy lawyer who once worked for Donald Trump, spared no expense in his quest to create a lavish event (and it was!). Henry's mother Marilyn, an equally brilliant and talented woman, organized a hugely complicated event that came off without a hitch. And Henry's two stepparents Mark and Tina seemed genuinely happy for their talented and (yes) often troublesome stepson Henry. Amazingly, the two original parents and the two stepparents co-existed in total harmony at Henry's Bar Mitzvah. Marla and I gazed in awe at the spectacle of four people who could have allowed their past to complicate matters instead take the high road. The four people smiled, they hugged each other, they exchanged hand shakes and they shared pleasantries throughout the weekend. It was literally one big happy family. Best of all, Henry showed me that he has matured a great deal from his bitterness of 2004. He clearly has begun to grow up. I think the way his four parents have learned to cooperate and work together has a great deal to do with his maturity as well. I am sorry I missed the Sock Hop, but for the lessons I learned about overcoming the pain of divorce when children are involved, I think it was well worth the experience.	Thank you, Bruce and Mara, for sharing your pictures!

THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SOCIAL DANCE

SSQQ differs greatly from most dance studios because we emphasize Group Dance Lessons over Private Lessons.

The traditional model for dance studios is offer group lesson packages as a way to lure students to the studio, then sell them on private lesson packages. The goal is for the students to either compete with their teacher as their partner (known as "pro-am") or to dance an exhibition with their instructor at a lavish dance party.

There is nothing wrong with this approach. However, SSQQ is a maverick. We depart from this approach because we think most people would rather learn to social dance for the fun of it. It isn't easy making a huge commitment to dance when you can barely keep the beat.

Yes, for the one in a hundred students who discover they have gift for dance, we will point them to a competition program. When I spot a student with immense talent, I immediately pull them aside and let them know where they stand in the dance universe.

But for the other 99% who are perfectly happy who prefer to learn to dance for the fun of it, SSQQ seems to be a perfect fit. We may not have our nose in the air and we may be kind of silly at times. Nevertheless, even though we have classes with red underwear night and color-coordinated night and sock hop lines dances and balloon races, we somehow overcome our weaknesses and still turn out an amazing number of very talented dancers!

For those of you who are curious about the dynamics of Group Dance Lessons versus Private Dance Lessons, I wrote a lengthy story known as the "Wonderful World of Social Dance".

I hope you enjoy it!

The Wonderful World of Social Dance
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THE WINNERS OF THE JUNE 2006 LOGIC PUZZLE - THE DANCE CLASSES

2006 June: The Dance Classes

1. Anita Leung (12 months in a row! - ONE YEAR!)
2. Susan Arevalo (29 months in a row!)
3. Ritesh Laud (22 months in a row!)
4. Ann Faget (30 months in a row!)
5. Randy Piniola (3 months in a row!)


The winners in June were the same winners as in May. Not one new person has solved the SSQQ Logic Puzzle in 2006. Just the same boring bunch of 5 Superstars. Like I said last month, I guess the only logical conclusion to make is that there are no smart people among the studio's newcomers. Wouldn't you all agree?

Congratulations to Anita Leung for crossing the One Year Threshold. She now becomes our fourth Logic Puzzle Superstar, joining the marvelous threesome of Ann Faget, Susan Arevalo, and Ritesh Laud.

And hat's off to Randy Piniola who doggedly refused to give up on solving the difficult June puzzle. His determination and persistence indicate he intends to become a Logic Puzzle Superstar as well. Good luck!

And congratulations to Patty Harrison for solving the May Logic Puzzle, albeit a month late. Better late than never!
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THE JULY 2006 HARD LOGIC PUZZLE - THE PRIVATE LESSONS
MONTHLY LOGIC PUZZLE


"At different times on a recent Friday morning, Ms. Forest and five other women came to SSQQ Dance Studio for private dance lessons.

Two different things were studied in each lesson. First each woman studied a different Ballroom dance (among them a Foxtrot), then she concentrated on a special skill that she wished to become excellent at (such as a Lift).

Each of the six one-hour lessons was consecutive. They were completed that afternoon at a different hour from 1 to 6 pm.

From the following clues, try to determine each woman's full name (one first name is Laura), which dance she learned and what particular skill she worked on, plus the particular hour each lesson was held. Your job is to figure out which day the students take their dance classes."

NOTE: The five people who solved last month's Dance Class Puzzle will do a double-take when they see our new July puzzle. It is very similar to the June Puzzle. And bad news - it may be even harder!

http://ssqq.com/archive/logicpuzzle.htm
……………………..

THE JULY 2006 LESS DIFFICULT LOGIC PUZZLE - THE ART FESTIVAL

You know, not everyone is a Logic Puzzle Superstar. After all, we have beginner level dance classes and we have advanced level dance classes.

Starting in July 2006, I will try to offer a somewhat less difficult Logic Puzzle and see if we can get some more people involved. The Art Festival Puzzle is not too tough. Give it a shot!
MONTHLY LOGIC PUZZLE

………………….

THE CLINTON HIT LIST

As you know, I will print anything I think is interesting in the SSQQ Newsletter. I don't see any reason why I should stick to dancing. After all, It isn't like You the Reader has to shell out any big bucks to see what nonsense I print from month to month.

One area of the SSQQ Web Site that kind of hides from people is the Archives. Here is where I put articles that have zip/nil/nada to do with dance. You can find anything from an article on Dubai to Greg Norman's Yacht to the Einstein Puzzle to Larry the Moron.

One article deals with the Clinton Hit List. By coincidence or design, 50 or so people closely associated with Bill Clinton during his presidency have died. It is a bizarre mortality rate indeed!

Now mind you, I am not out to get Bill Clinton. I am embarrassed to admit that I would much rather have him running the country than youknowwho, but at the time Clinton was in charge, I couldn't wait to get rid of him. As they say, be careful what you ask for!

Nevertheless, some of the deaths were pretty odd. The strangest of all was Vince Foster who is said to have committed suicide. At the time, his own wife said Mr. Foster showed not the slightest sign of depression. The incident seemed lifted right out of the pages of a John Grisham novel.

Suspicious? Yes. Do I know anything? No. It just never sat right with me.

At any rate, if you are an X-Files/Government Conspiracy/The Truth is Out There /The Mafia Shot JFK kind of person, you surely will be curious to review the following names:

VINCENT FOSTER- Former White House counselor, and former colleague of Hilary Clinton at Little Rock's Rose law firm. Foster was found dead July 20, 1993 of a gunshot to the head ruled a suicide.

RON BROWN-Secretary of Commerce and former DNC Chairman. Reported to have died by impact in a plane crash. A pathologist close to the investigation reported to the Bob Grant Radio Show a "hole" in top of Brown's skull resembling a gunshot wound. At the time of his death Brown was being investigated and spoke publicly of his willingness to cut a deal with prosecutors.

JERRY PARKS-Head of Clinton's gubernatorial security team in Little Rock. Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside Little Rock. Park's son said his father was building a dossier on Clinton. He allegedly threatened to reveal this information. After he died the files were mysteriously removed from his house.

Intrigued? Want to read more?
CLINTON HIT LIST
……………………

PICTURES ON THE WALL AT SSQQ -----Original Message----- From: A S Sent: Sunday, July 09, 2006 12:57 PM To: dance@ssqq.com Subject: Pictures on your wall Hi Rick,  I spoke with you awhile back about the great artwork on your studio walls, and I think you told me they were made by a friend of yours at DynamicGraphics. I looked up the website but couldn't find the pictures you have. Did he make them specially for you, or does he make those for the public? If you have his phone number, I'd really like to call him and ask about his work. My girlfriend's birthday is coming up, and our first dates together were at SSQQ. I think one of those paintings would be something memorable to give her. Thanks in advance for your help. I love your studio. Sincerely, A S -----Original Message----- From: Rick Archer Sent: Sunday, July 09, 2006 1:51 PM To: adam strawn Subject: RE: Pictures on your wall I think you are destined for disappointment since the art service won't give me a clue as to who he or she is. Here is the story: DYNAMIC GRAPHICS

ARTICLE ON GAMBLING FROM THE HOUSTON CHRONICLE

(Editor's Note: There is an old saying that 'Gambling is God's Punishment for those who flunked math class'.

Anyone with a brain knows that over the long haul, gambling offers a very low return on your investment. However, when you are poor or desperate, people feel the need to take chances.

I recently ran across this article buried somewhere in my computer which I saved from seven years ago. I enjoyed this Thom Marshall article then and of course the lessons still hold true today. I thought some of you would enjoy reading it. RA)


Paper: Houston Chronicle
Date: WED 08/18/1999
Section: A
Page: 23 Metfront
Edition: 3 STAR

GAMBLERS LOSE ALL TO LURE OF LOTTERY

By THOM MARSHALL
Chronicle Staff

A young married couple had some good luck when the owner of the apartment building where they lived hired them as managers, but then it turned into bad luck when they started playing the lottery.

Having resident managers should have been a big help to the owner who lived miles away and who also was planning to spend several months out of the country.

The manager of a convenience store in one of the suburbs, who asked not to be identified in order to protect his job, said he knew the new apartment managers and the owner.

The couple had been regular customers of the store for quite awhile, stopping by most every night. The husband would buy some beer and the wife would buy some chips and other "junk food" for the kids.

The apartment owner is a nice fellow who sometimes brings quarters from the apartment washing machines to the convenience store, "which helps us and him," said the C-store manager. "He doesn't have to count them. We count them and it saves us the trouble of getting more quarters from the bank."

Soon after the couple became apartment managers, they started buying a few lottery tickets along with their beer and junk food. After a while they bought a few more lottery tickets, and then more, and more, until they were buying $50 worth of tickets at a time. And they never hit a big one.

"I remember they won $50 twice," said the C-store manager, "and eventually they just disappeared."

That disappearance occurred shortly after the apartment owner returned. He told the C-store manger that he had filed charges on the couple for taking the rent money while he was gone.

It was about a year later, the C-store manager said, when the woman came in for some junk food for the kids. When asked where they had been so long, she explained that her husband had been in jail for a while for theft.

This C-store manager said that when he becomes concerned that another of his customers may be falling prey to lottery addiction, he tells stories of victims he has known over the past seven years since Texas started promoting gambling.

He has accumulated quite a selection of tales to tell, beginning on the very first day the lottery opened.

"About 30 minutes after I opened the store at 6 a.m.," he said, "a young man, perhaps 16 or 17, came in with his dad, but he was not in his yellow Camaro. I asked him where the cool car was and he said, `I let her go to one of my neighbors, but I am gonna buy her back after we do this.' "

Then the young man's father asked for "a whole pack" of 500 Lone Star Millionaire tickets. The C-store manager called his area manager to ask whether there was a limit to the number of tickets he could sell at one time. The area manager asked how the customer was paying and the answer was cash, and the area manager told the store manager the customer could buy as many as he wanted.

"Well, this kid and his dad went outside and sat in this junker car of his dad's and they scratched all those tickets," the C-store manager said.

When they finished, they came in and cashed $32 worth of winning tickets.

"They did not look very happy at all. They left, and to this day I have never seen them again," the C-store manager said.

Our state spends tens of millions of bucks a year advertising the lottery and persuading people to buy tickets, which results in sales of almost $3 billion and profits of well over $1 billion.

The C-store manager said the TV commercials and the hype that accompanies the "endless stream of tickets" delivered to the store "revolts" him. He calls the lottery "a scam," and "underhanded," and "devious." He said employees at his store often refer to it as "a tax on stupidity" or "a tax on people bad at math."

Selling the tickets is a part of his job he has disliked since that first day, when that fellow lost his Camaro money.

"I used to enjoy talking to the kid in the mornings because we both liked talking about cars," the C-store manager said. "A teen-ager's first car is something very special. . . . And to this day I feel guilty because I feel like it was my fault that he lost his car. But I only did my job. They made their own decisions, and it was the state of Texas that ripped them off, not me."
……………………….


COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH - TWO COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE LACK OF SAME SEX DANCING AT SSQQ

(Editor's Note: At SSQQ, Same Sex Dancing is not permitted unless an SSQQ Instructor is involved or permission to do so is granted by SSQQ Administration. I posted this policy on the SSQQ Web Site on March 27, 2002. You can read more about the SSQQ Policy at Same Sex Dancing )


COMPLAINT ONE

-----Original Message-----
From: Rashmi S
Sent: Friday, December 09, 2005 11:06 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject:Your policy on same sex dancing

"We promise we made these rules for a good reason based on our experiences over the years."

That's what people who had slaves, or who did not allow blacks to sit next to them, or countries that do not allow women to vote and other bigots think too.

However much your rules work toward your own interest, please spare us and do not justify them.


-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2005 09:26 AM
To: Rashmi S
Subject:policy on same sex dancing

Yes, I prefer to stay in business. My policy reflects the prevalent attitude of the community.

Comparing my policy to slavery and bigotry reflects immaturity on your part. I never said gay people are not welcome at my studio. They are indeed welcome as long as they follow my rules.


-----Original Message-----
From: Rashmi S
Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2005 10:33 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: RE: Your policy on same sex dancing

The rules you are making today will be part of bigotry 20 years from now. Please have the vision to NOT change your rules then and we will see where your business stands at that time.


-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Friday, December 16, 2005 11:37 AM
To: Rashmi S
Subject: policy on same sex dancing

Actually you could be right, Rashmi. Twenty years from now, perhaps society will be more tolerant of same sex dancing. If that is the case, don't be surprised if I change my rules.

You might be surprised to know I have a history of doing what is right before it becomes fashionable. I outlawed smoking at my studio in 1987 because it was harmful to everyone. People begged me for a special smokers-only dance class. I told them that with air conditioning, that would be like having a special peeing section in a swimming pool, so forget about it. This cost me business long ago, but current attitudes show I did the right thing.

Personally speaking, I don't care if men dance with men or women dance with women. I dance with men occasionally in my class when I need to help them improve their leads and in the process I have discovered my masculinity somehow survives.

But as a businessman, it is a practical reality that the vast majority of my customers don't share your point of view.

Since we are occasionally short of women in my classes, sometimes I step in and dance the lady's part. Watching the men frown and bristle, I am well aware that they are definitely not comfortable at being forced to dance with me. Therefore I keep my dancing with the men only to the bare minimum.

To quote a famous saying, "Dance with the one who brung you." The straight community put me in business and keeps me in business.

I don't see what good it is going to do my business to alienate these people and suddenly cater to someone like you who insults me by comparing me to a bigot or a slave owner. Obviously your inability to dance with people of your same sex at my studio must impose a great hardship on you.


-----Original Message-----
From: Rashmi S
Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2005 6:39 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: policy on same sex dancing

Yes it does impose a great hardship on me. Otherwise I would not bother. Thanks for your time.

Good luck.


COMPLAINT TWO

-----Original Message-----
From: H L
Sent: Tuesday, June 06, 2006 8:36 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Same Gender Couples

Mr. Archer:

My partner and I read about your tango class in the current Leisure Learning catalog. We were interested in signing up. I went to your dance studio web site and was educated, quite thoroughly I might add, about your policy of changing partners during dance instruction. While we have no problem with this and I agree it does facilitate better learning, would there be a problem of same gender partners dancing together? My partner and I plan to visit Buenos Aires in the next year and we've read about some gay tango halls and we'd like to be able to dance there together and not look totally gooky and American.

I did notice that Leisure Learning has a inclusive non-discrimination policy for enrollment and I hope this carries over to your class.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you, HL


-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Wednesday, June 07, 2006 11:42 AM
To: HL
Subject: policy at ssqq on same sex dancing and Same Gender Couples

Mr. L,

SSQQ advertises in Leisure Learning with a simple slogan: "Boy Meets Girl". Recently SSQQ was cited in the Houston Chronicle as one of the leading places in the city for creating traditional Marriages. Furthermore, boy-girl romance is the cornerstone of our marketing!

In other words, we make it clear this dance studio supports a straight life style.

That said, we are not bigots. People who are gay are more than welcome here as long as they accept a simple rule: boys dance with girls in group settings.

SSQQ employs people who are gay on our staff. In addition I know of several students who are gay. These students are welcome here at all times because they don't object to dancing with the opposite sex and because I like having them here. And my personal attitude is whatever makes you happy is fine with me as long as there is no harm to other people who have no choice in the matter.

Personally speaking, two men or two women dancing together does not bother me at all. I couldn't care less. For that matter, the best dance instructor I ever had was gay. I danced with him for seven years without a problem. Furthermore he helped me become an excellent dancer. However many of the people who are SSQQ customers do not appear to share my views. I know this for a fact based on the number of men who panic when I suggest they dance with me so I can test their leads. In these situations I respect their space. I back off because in the past I have had men literally leave the building when I "insisted".

Therefore as a Houston Texas businessman, I have learned from experience that it is prudent that I align my policies with the prevalent attitudes of the people who continue to help me pay the rent. This is another way of saying, "I dance with the people who brung me."

You ask me to risk economic suicide by changing an accepted rule that has been in place for over 25 years.

I am not in business to make a political statement. I stay in business by catering to my customers. Therefore same sex dancing is prohibited in group dance classes and at Practice Night unless I specifically see a reason to make an exception.

If this seems like discrimination, please forgive. I mean no offense. I respect where you are coming from, but I cannot see any sense in granting your request.

I have three suggestions. You can take the group classes if you are willing to accept the rule. You are always welcome to dance with your partner in private lessons. Or you can form a group dance class at an outside location and I will look for an instructor to assist you.


-----Original Message-----
From: HL
Sent: Wednesday, June 07, 2006 7:03 PM
To: Rick Archer
Subject: Re: policy at ssqq on same sex dancing and Same Gender Couples

Mr. Archer:

I did not see your "policy" on same sex dancing posted on your web site until after I had sent my e-mail. I regret having bothered you. I will be taking my business elsewhere.

HL

(Editor's Note: You can read more about the SSQQ Policy at Same Sex Dancing )
……………………

2006 JOKE PICTURE - FASHION STATEMENT

Sam Longoria submitted the July Joke Picture. This month's picture deals with the troubles of the Catholic Church as it wrestles with deeply troubling challenges to its authority. I have no doubt the picture will offend someone.

JOKE PICTURE OF THE MONTH
…………………

REPRINT FROM JUNE 2006 NEWSLETTER: SSQQ WEBSITE IS BEING BLOCKED BY CORPORATION WEB CENSORS

(Editor's Note: It appears that access to the SSQQ Web Site is increasingly being denied to people at their places of work. Here are two examples of this disturbing phenomenon.) EXAMPLE ONE -----Original Message----- From: G G Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2005 6:03 PM To: 'Rick Archer' Subject: RE: August 2005 Newsletter Oh My Gosh, Rick, our company internet police have struck again! This is what I got when I tried to check out SSQQ's site: "ACCESS DENIED TO INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT" Strangely enough, it does let the registration pages thru, but not your main page. Weird! I was able to get to the https://www153.ssldomain.com/ssqq/ , but not the jokes...I will have to send it to my home...will take care of it. G G

EXAMPLE TWO

-----Original Message-----
From: S.U.
Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2006 3:23 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject:F.Y.I. - WWW.SSQQ.COM BEING RESTRICTED "OFF LIMITS"

Rick,

Just thought I would let you know that my wife and I are no longer able to access your SSQQ website from our jobs computer because of the content of the website due to (as I understand it) the web police convicted you of "morally offensive humor" (i.e. not P.C.) The most negative impact I know of from this situation is that we can't do online registration from work. Since we are not at home on the pc there very much, this is an inconvenience.

Plus I was just trying to show the website & online registration to a lady I work with who, with her husband, have been talking about taking lessons for several months. But the website couldn't be accessed.

This restriction may also have been made by the nationwide web police which means that those of us with the web browsers (MS Internet Explorer) set to exclude "questionable" websites will not connect either.

A suggestion: Make a second website to hold the photos and jokes, etc but have one website strictly for your business. Considering WWW.SSQQ.COM has already been branded, you might think about bringing a new one up for the business ("WWW.SSQQDANCE.COM" might work?)

Good Luck, S.U.


-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2006 7:38 AM
To: SU
Subject: RE: F.Y.I. - WWW.SSQQ.COM BEING RESTRICTED "OFF LIMITS"


Good grief. I don't even begin to know what to say. I guess its true that my web site is slutty after all. ;-)

Well, tough.

There might be a simple way around it. The Online Registration is at a different site.

See if you can access it from work.
https://www153.ssldomain.com/ssqq/register/

-----Original Message-----
From: SU
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2006 10:06 AM
To: Rick Archer
Subject: RE: F.Y.I. - WWW.SSQQ.COM BEING RESTRICTED "OFF LIMITS"


Thanks, Rick.
I can access the registration directly.
That works fine.
S.U.


-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2006 10:51 AM
To: SU
Subject: RE: F.Y.I. - WWW.SSQQ.COM BEING RESTRICTED "OFF LIMITS"

And thank you for telling me. That was disturbing news, but I will live.

Besides, people have a way of getting around censors. No one likes Big
Brother telling them what to read and see. You know and I know the ssqq web
site is a little naughty, but mostly it is good, clean fun.


RICK'S POINT OF VIEW ON THE SSQQ WEB SITE FROM THE JUNE NEWSLETTER:

Although I am alarmed that the SSQQ Web Site is falling prey to corporate censors, I don't see what good it is going to do to fight the problem.

I suppose the number one problem is our Jokes page, but seven years of the SSQQ Newsletter has plenty of risquι stories and references as well.

The problem is incredibly pervasive. I have people who email me begging me to remove pictures of them in bathing suits and belly dance outfits from Cruise write-ups and Halloween pictures.

Thanks to Google, apparently no one can hide from the excesses of having good, clean fun.

I would appreciate if other people would email me to report further cases of censorship. If anyone has any advice or suggestions about this problem, please let me know.

I have a question: Do you think I should clean up the web site or just let the Corporate Web Censors have their way?

And if I do decide it isn't worth changing the web site to make the Internet Police happy, do you think I should add the infamous Blue Side Jokes to our regular Joke Page?

This is YOUR NEWSLETTER too. It will not succeed without the support of the people who read it. So I would appreciate any opinions and input. Your responses will be kept private. I may reprint them, but I will never use your name.
………………..

BEHIND THE DECISION TO ADD THE BLUE SIDE TO THE SSQQ WEB SITE

EXAMPLE ONE

-----Original Message-----
From: KH
Sent: Saturday, February 18, 2006 6:24 PM
To: rarcher@houston.rr.com
Subject: Re: 2006 February Newsletter

Hi Rick....I take classes off and on with you guys, and have been a participant of the email newsletter for 5 years now ~ you and your crew are doing a great job !

Please send me the email address for the naughty jokes.

Thanks, Kathy

-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Monday, February 20, 2006 12:33 PM
To: KH
Subject: blue joke page

Sorry, it has been discontinued due to internet censorship

 

EXAMPLE TWO

-----Original Message-----
From: Robert K
Sent: Sunday, April 02, 2006 4:50 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Blue side jokes

Hi Rick,
I don't know if this is the address you use for my registration. In fact, since I don't normally get a confirmation when I register online you may want to check the address. Regardless, I would love to have access to the Blue Side Jokes please.

See you soon, RK


From: Rick Archer
Sent: Monday, April 03, 2006 9:55 AM
To: RK
Subject: RE: Blue side jokes

Believe it or not, several business "watchdog" cyber police listed my site as a porn site. I was forced to remove the blue jokes page.

-----Original Message-----
From: RK
Sent: Monday, April 03, 2006 8:14 PM
To: 'Rick Archer'
Subject: Blue side jokes

Ha!! For perhaps dirty jokes? They should spend some time in the Oilfield.
 

EXAMPLE THREE

-----Original Message-----
From: RH
Sent: Tuesday, December 27, 2005 11:01 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: blue jokes

Hey Rick! I really like your jokes. Now I want to read your blue jokes. Can you PLEASE send me the rest of them? I am really curious.


-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Wednesday, December 28, 2005 11:18 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Re: blue jokes

I looked up your email address in the database and did not find your email address listed.


-----Original Message-----
From: RH
Sent: Wednesday, December 28, 2005 12:26 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: re: re: blue jokes

That makes sense. I live in New York. You don't really expect me to fly to Houston and take a dance class just so I can get in your database, do you? I just want to read your jokes. Can you do me this favor?


-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Wednesday, December 28, 2005 04:33 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: blue jokes

Unfortunately not. Please forgive.


-----Original Message-----
From: RH
Sent: Thursday, December 28, 2005 11:04 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: re: blue jokes

F*** You. I put 'ssqq' and blue jokes into Google and got the address no sweat. 30 seconds. Now I'm sorry I bothered. They weren't that good anyway.

Sincerely, Ram

……………………


BANNED IN BOSTON - ANDREW N's RESPONSE TO RICK'S COMMENTS ABOVE

-----Original Message-----
From: Andrew N
Sent: Monday, May 29, 2006 5:18 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: blue side jokes


Hi Rick,

I read with interest your comments about the ssqq web site being blocked by corporation web censors in the june newsletter. I would rather not list where I work because google is sure to bust my butt in case you print this, but I haven't been able to get on your web site from work for about six months. I always get a popup that says viewing is blocked due to "lewd and objectionable material". I agree with you - big brother is watching!

After I read what you said in the email newsletter, from home I decided to visit your jokes page. Quite frankly, I see little that is lewd and objectionable. Here is what I think is going on. Some of those jokes are pretty funny and I am sure I could easily waste an afternoon at work reading them. My guess is your site is banned for the simple fact that it is fun and interesting which in corporate-speak is synonymous with "lewd and objectionable".

Censorship rarely works. It just makes people take detours. In one sense, I suppose the powers-that-be have a point - why permit access to a really interesting web site while people are at work? Don't get your feelings hurt - it is a backhanded compliment that says your website is very distracting!

At any rate, my suggestion is to go ahead and add all the dirty jokes you want. My guess is you could spend months cleaning up your web site and discover you are still banned in boston by most of the censors. Who knows what they are picking up on? It is probably the jokes, but your pictures, your travel page, your newsletter, even some of your stories... all of them have 'adult content'. Everywhere I look, I find something that might raise an eyebrow. For example, in the archive section I found an article on "dance hall sin". Are you going to remove that too? To go through your huge web site and delete everything that might bother someone would end up ruining a fun place to visit. Don't do it.

Just accept that your site will be off-limits to some of your students while they are at work and don't worry about it.

No point in ruining a good thing. Keep up the good work!
…………………

RICK'S RESPONSE TO THE CYBERPOLICE REGARDING THE CLEAN JOKES, THE NAUGHTY JOKES, AND THE WEBSITE BEING BANNED

For the first eight years of the SSQQ web site, I kept the "naughty jokes" at a secret location here on the web site. Then, as you have read, this year I discovered that corporate web censors have begun to block access to the ssqq web site due to "objectionable content". Apparently even our clean jokes were offensive! Faced with the choice of kowtowing to Big Brother and giving the ssqq web site a thorough clean up, I decided to say the heck with it.

Now that our reputation is ruined, what's the point of holding back? As they say, if we can't be good any more, then we might as well be better!

So, starting in July 2006, I decided to add the naughty jokes in with the clean jokes each month. My guess is after you read the naughty jokes, you will agree with me they aren't at all nasty. They simply deal with adult themes.

I added them for one simple reason - they made me laugh. I hope they do the same for you.

Rick Archer
July 8, 2006

ONE MORE THING - MY SPECIAL THANKS TO…
Chris Holmes, Gay Anseman, Milt Oglesby, Gareld McEathron, Doug Hewitt, Ann Faget, Carol Gafford, Lynn Griffiths, Dakota Wilhelm, and Guy Hoover

For their contributions to our BEST NEW JOKES OF THE MONTH collection


……………..

And that's a wrap for July.

Thanks for reading this month's issue of the SSQQ Newsletter! Sorry it is so slutty as usual.