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marla and marty's cayman wine spot.jpg (24011 bytes)

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Our trip on Day 4 to the Cayman Islands might be best described as a trip to Fantasy Island. There appeared to be no poor people on this island. There were no homeless people on this island. No one is allowed to live on this island unless you have a job or lots of money.

Indeed the lady who sold us our postcards and t-shirts seemed quite talented. She zipped around her computer with lightning speed and dexterity. Her accent was precise, her vocabulary impressive. I compared her to the poor sales people I had met at Cozumel who spoke about 2 phrases of English : "hey amigo, you wanna buy a t-shirt ?" or "Senor American, you wanna buy tequila?" Cozumel didn't ring all their sales on computers either. Every shop in Cayman had a computer. I got the feeling one sales lady wanted to check the current relationship of the US Dollar to the Cayman currency to see if she should charge me another 4.25 cents. 

Their postcards are weird. They don't sell photographs. Every postcard is artwork. Are cameras not allowed on this island ? Are there wealthy drug dealers, fugitives, and  international financial scoundrels who fear getting their picture taken ?

Remember the movie "Stepford Wives" where everyone behaved and smiled all the time ?  Well, everyone smiled and acted bored and polite on Cayman. The sales people were so blissed out they didn't seem to care whether you bought something or not. 

Another weird sight was the boat bringing in palm trees and tropical plants. This is a tropical island, mind you, and they import tropical plants. I don't get it. I guess growing them would take too long.

Plus everything is owned by Kirk. Who is Kirk ? Is this an episode from Star Trek ?   Ricardo Montalban was the star of "Fantasy Island" and also appeared   with Captain Kirk in a Star Trek movie. Do they own this island  ?  Did Spock do a Vulcan mind zap on all the natives ?

It was just sort of strange coming to a place where even the sales people appeared to be wealthier than the visitors. This place gave me the creeps.

Sam, Judy, and I joined Virginia and Garald McEathron for a submarine trip to bottom of the ocean. We were treated to a spectacular view of the ocean floor complete with colorful fish, coral reefs, and huge barrel sponges.

We actually went down to the 100 foot depth. There we noticed the floor of the ocean disappeared. The captain of our submarine told us what we were seeing was an abyss. In other words, the Cayman Islands are the top of a vast underwater mountain. All the coral grows on the side of the mountain. Where the mountain ends, the ocean becomes extremely deep. The captain asked if we wanted to visit the bottom of the ocean. He said he would have no trouble getting us down, but doubted we could come back up. We politely declined.

Then wouldn't you know it, a perfectly nice trip was ruined when this stupid octopus attacked us. I was hoping to be a little afraid, but I was really disappointed. You would have thought he was trying out for a part in a movie the way he  thrashed and splashed about. What a ham. The Captain yapped on and on about what danger we were in, then took a picture. The octopus actually stopped thrashing and tried to pose. It is the stupidest thing in the world to watch an octopus try to smile. I was so embarrassed. Then as if on cue he just swam away. I've seen better octopuses than that at your average neighborhood water ride park.  Ho hum. Sam wasn't afraid either, but she was still plenty worried about Mr Crocodile waiting for her back on the ship.

Perhaps the sorriest part of the trip occurred at the so- called Sting Ray City. Here are a bunch of killer sting rays  who sold out just like Mr Octopus and went Hollywood ! Instead of going around stinging people like they are supposed to, now they act like a bunch of trained seals and float around brushing up against all these tourists who jump in the water to hug a sting ray. Then they throw them little sting ray yummy treats and go back on ship and brag about how brave they were ! What a crock ! We all know the silly Willy  whales sold out a long time ago and so did the dolphins, but now we have the octopus and the sting rays. I can just see a bunch of sharks throwing in the towel and doing  Broadway with the "West Cayman Story" starring the Sharks as misunderstood ocean predators with a sensitive side.  What is this ocean coming to anyway ?

Then to make things worse,  back on the ship all the ladies were going oooh and aaah about how some sting ray brushed up against them and how it tickled and how soft it was and how they "kind of liked it" and how they got all "warm" inside. I just shook my head in disgust. 

What a strange trip this has been.

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Yesterday' s Trivia Question :

What  3 lovely SSQQ ladies found romance on the trip with men from other cities ?  

SSQQ had by far the prettiest ladies on the entire ship. Foreigners buzzed around our group like bees to honey.

Beth Bowman met a man from Tennessee named Don. Joanne Spuck met a very handsome man from somewhere named Mark.  Anita Henderson met a man named Jack who lives on a boat.

Several other SSQQ ladies were seen smiling at certain men at various times, but I've decided the glances were too furtive to make any conclusions so I will show rare restraint and withhold further info at this time.

Today's Trivia Question :

What  lovely SSQQ lady appeared in a Hollywood movie starring as a spiked-haired biker babe along with costar Mr Octopus ?
   Find out tomorrow !

anita and jack walking on the cayman beach.jpg (71767 bytes)

wonderful winos marla and marty wined and dined constantly !.jpg (19838 bytes)

click the dancers and return to ssqq home page

take the express back to the Caribbean Home Page !

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