Day 6
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Day 6 began badly when we hit a stupid hurricane coming right out Jamaica. This trip has been one disaster after another. Marty couldn't take it, so he went straight  to the wine bottle and got soused. Below is a picture of Marty with Maureen and Marla...they are covering their eyes because they are embarrassed to be seen dancing dancing with Marty who is obviously "completely at sea". Notice he is leaning 30 degrees to starboard. Honestly, if it wasn't for Marla, he probably would have gone right over the edge. The hurricane was just too much for Marty. After just one wine too many, guess what ?  He glanced out the window and screamed, "Look over there ! Mermaids ! They are completely naked !"  The rest of us looked, but all we saw was the hurricane. Marty spent the rest of the day looking for those mermaids. Sad Sad Sad.

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Marty sees the Mermaids !

Day 6 started out pretty rough for me too. My daughter Sam basically cleaned my clock by beating me repeatedly at some stupid kid's game. I had trouble seeing the board over my belly or I would have done much better. Judy spent the day looking at the hurricane. She felt sorry for Marty and wondered if maybe there really were some mermaids out there. This hurricane was tough on everyone.

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One of the nice things that happened on the trip were our daily dance lessons. The SSQQ Cruisers were terrific at helping me teach the line dances to people from other parts of the country. We had 30 people participating at various times. Maureen and Judy taught Swing dancing one day and the class was very popular. Apparently Swing dancing isn't just popular in Houston. Several people on the ship from other states talked to me about how interested they were in Swing dancing. Everyone thought I worked for the ship. One guy handed me his ship charge card and asked me to get him a drink at the bar.  There were all kinds of people on this trip.


Here is a picture of Maureen and me doing the Four Corners. Also in the picture are Joanne, Renee, and Charlotte. You probably can not tell from the picture, but that is the entire dance floor. There is not one more inch behind the last row of people. There is a stage directly in front of me. I would imagine the floor was perhaps 200 square feet, less than half the size of Room 5...our smallest room. The Cruisers wanted to dance so badly !  They were desperate for the chance at a Whip or a Western Swing, but alas disappointment was to be their fate.

Here's a picture of Gary and Maureen practicing their Swing dancing. Gary misbehaved every day, but he was incredibly clever about it. He doesn't sleep very much so he was up at all hours of the day roaming the ship in search of mischief. I would listen to him tell me a story he had heard from someone he said he talked to at 4 am.  4 AM !!

Another time during breakfast I saw him sit at 3 different tables and flirt with the ladies from each one. I assumed he had a girl friend on every deck, but after he squealed on Alyssa (see Day 5), I was sworn to complete secrecy. 

The entertainment on the ship was very good. The magician was excellent, the comedian ("just let it go") was excellent, and the singers were excellent. One night Dan Stapleton, the magician, managed to pickpocket BJ and unbuckle Gary's belt. Later he completely pulled off Bill's shirt as he walked off the stage.  I am still convinced Gary and Bill were in on the act, but I was so intrigued I went back for the second show. This guy from Arkansas was completely looped. When the magician unbuckled his belt though, the man's pants fell to his knees !  The man had recently lost about 50 lbs, but didn't have his pants taken in. Those were some pretty cute boxer shorts he had on ! Apparently everyone from Arkansas has trouble keeping their pants on. Sad Sad Sad.

One of the trip's highlights was the Lip Sync Show. Renee Risinger got a terrific tan on the trip and was absolutely terrific as Tina Turner (please see picture above).

Our own Joanne Spuck was terrific as she imitated Connie Francis singing, "Where the Boys Are". Joanne's daughter Allison is a performer at Astroworld and let me tell you I know just where daughter gets her skills. Joanne stole the show !  Earlier she had lined up several young studs to be in her act, but they no-showed on her and she was forced to ask Marty and I to be standins at the last minute. Later we found out the studs had been staring at themselves in the mirror down in the weight room and locked up in a trance. The Lip Sync director chose me to be the first guy to go out. I was quite pleased till I found out that the wimp goes first. Geez. 

Still I thought I was hot until Marty was carried out there. When he saw Joanne, he started ranting, "Mermaid ! Mermaid !" He got so excited he lifted Joanne off her feet ! The crowd went wild. No one even noticed me anymore. I kicked Marty in the butt, but he didn't feel a thing. Boy, was I ever upstaged !


Later my daughter Sam was in the Beach Boys "Surfing Safari" Lip Sync show. She was a surfer girl because of her long hair. Sam was up there doing the Swim and the Watusi when to her complete shock Mr Crocodile came onstage and bit her in the behiney ! You have never heard such a scream since Marty saw the Mermaids ! It turned out that Mr Crocodile is the pet of the captain and has been in this act many times. He didn't hurt Sam, but he sure did growl at her ! Boy was she ever scared ! After it was over, Sam was shocked at the trick that had been played on her, but fortunately Mr Crocodile's bark turned out to be worse than his bite.

Later we had our big dance. See the picture of it. This was the worst dance I have ever been involved with in my life.  There was one deck where there was room enough to dance, but there was no plug for the boom box. The area next to the pool had a plug, but someone had just hosed down the deck. It was dripping wet. The dance area was so small we had to do the Cotton-Eyed Joe two by two because there wasn't room between the poles for anyone else. To make things worse, it was hot !  Everyone knows the Calypso - Reggae Caribbean-style song, "Hot ! Hot ! Hot !" and everyone thinks it is a great song. Maybe so, but when you are dancing outdoors in a muggy, windless sea at 90 degrees out, it really isn't fun to be "Hot Hot Hot". I was absolutely dripping wet. Now I realize these pictures are not easy to see, but there are no smiles on those faces. Merely the sadness of 30 Cruisers who had hoped to do some dancing on the trip. SAD SAD SAD ! 

Yesterday' s Trivia Question :

What lady singlehandely won the big Trivial Pursuits showdown ?

None other than the extremely smart
Maureen Brunetti !

Maureen, affectionately known to all of us as the "Maureen Academy" (she just needs a few good men) was the heroine of the third Trivial Pursuits Grudge Match.

Can you answer this ?
"What 1978 movie chronicled the adventures of
football quarterback Joe Pendleton ?"
See below for Maureen's game winning reply.

Lindy Hop's team  narrowly lost Game One, but in Game Two she was a Trivial Pursuits Godzilla  as she put her team on her back and carried them to victory with the clinching answer of Lynn Swann ("who was the Superbowl MVP of 1976 ?" ).

I was so disgusted at being beat by a girl on a sports question that I decided to set up a third match.   I had brought a Trivial Pursuits game of my own and offered "Silver Screen" as the venue for the championship. However when Lindy cleverly chose Judy, an expert at old movies, to be on her team, I figured it was the fate of the Titanic for our team.

To my shock and joy, Maureen turned out to be a regular Silver Screen HotShot in her own right and carried us to victory with one unbelievable answer after another. 

the answer to Joe Pendleton :
None other than Warren Beatty in "Heaven Can Wait"
You all knew that, didn't you ?

Today's Trivia Question :

What SSQQ Cruiser was involved in a bizarre stowaway case ?

Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion to the SSQQ Caribbean Cruise Trip !

Judy Judy Judy (pictured above with Sam) combined with Diane and Lindy Hop to nearly kick our butts at Silver Screen Trivial Pursuits, but Maureen Academy ultimately carried the day !

cllick the enchanted isle cruise ship for Caribbean Home

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